Do YOU believe in YOU?

FROM JACK: Hullo friends! Often times, when families go to the Autism Treatment Center of America with their children who have autism, or have an in-home outreach with one of our professional Child Facilitators, they often comment on the level of energy, excitement and enthusiasm that we have, and ask how we are able to sustain that through an entire day.

Well, here's my secret.... RED BULL!!! No, I'm joking... For me, I believe it's all about our attitude. In my training as a Son-Rise Program Child Facilitator, I learned it was important not only to examine my beliefs about the children I work with (that it is possible for them to recover from autism, that they are always doing the best they can etc.) but equally important to examine the beliefs I held about myself. What we believe is what we become, so it is hugely useful to equip ourselves with a set of beliefs to make us the most dynamic therapists in the playroom that we can be!

Here are my top beliefs for playroom effectiveness:

1. I am irresistable. I know I am so fun and loving that eventually no child can resist playing with me!
2. I can really help this child. I am powerful enough to inspire any child to emerge from their autism.
3. There is nothing this child can do that I cannot love. Crying, biting, scratching, poo-smearing... it's all good!
4. I can be fully present with this child as the ultimate way of loving them. This moment, if it were never to change, is utterly perfect.
   
5. I am doing the best I can. If a child is choosing not to interact with me, it means nothing about me.
6. Love requires nothing to be different, yet changes everything. It is the single most powerful thing I can ever do.

I so encourage you to think about these beliefs and find ways to adopt them for yourselves. Not only will you give yourselves the most wonderful experience in the playroom by doing so, but I have seen time and again how children respond when we change ourselves first!

Go forth and giggle, my friends!

Love Jack

Another Game Idea! Meow, Meow, Meow!

FROM KATE: Today, you get a chance to channel your inner cat (or, your inner Kat, as this fabulous facilitator is named Katrina). Go ahead, release your playful self and have a fabulous time with your child.



Love, Kate

Who Let the Down Out? DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN!

From Katrina: Hey all you fun loving people out there. Want to know a quick technique to encourage more clear, single words and keep your own complicated talking to a minimum?

Try modeling the word you are encouraging to the tune of a song. You can either replace every word with the word you are modeling, or most, or occasionally replace words.

An easy song to use is "row, row, row your boat", but you can use more complicated songs as well (especially motivating for older children). I sometimes have fun myself just thinking of different songs that are fun to use to model words to. ("We like to move it, move it" "In the jungle the music jungle, the music sleeps tonight", or "shake, shake, shake, ...shake, shake, shake, shake your arms", or say the word "ride" to the tune of the lone ranger. There are sooo many ways to do this!!!)

Have fun rocking out your words!
Love,
Katrina

Today is Your Day!!!

FROM KIM: I want to invite all of you amazing, wonderful and playful people out there to create time in your day to PLAY!! Afterall, as the saying goes "practice makes perfect", and since many of you reading this are Son-Rise Program parents to incredibe children - lets show them how much fun we really are!!! The more we model our playfulness the more likely our children will be attracted to us, drawn to our output of excitment, and ultimately learn this playful way of showing up in the world for themselves...It all starts with US!!!

So here are a few things I thought would inspire a little bit of PLAY into your daily life:

Sing out loud
Dance and wiggle to wake your body up
Use silly voices
Stretch your facial muscles out by making funny faces or exaggerating your face as you talk
Act out the books you read
Wear a funny hat
Sing a silly song
Tickle someone
Do a silly dance
Do something backwards
Stand on your head (or try to!)
Talk gibberish
Put on a funny nose
Put on a mask
Juggle- or try to
Make a funny face
Make up a funny poem
Skip around
Spin in a circle
Dress in funny clothes
Make up a funny story
Startle someone gently
Put unrelated foods together
Put clothes on your pet
Paint or draw a silly picture
Communicate only in pictures
Communicate only in sign language
Talk normally but substitute words in a funny way - like "blue" for every color or "teapot" for every noun.
Tell a joke
Make a pun
Color a picture but use absurd colors like a purple or yellow sky
Spin in a circle
Wear bright or unusual colors
Wear your clothes backwards
Give yourself and your friends nick names
Make your fingers into puppets
Use toys to act out a scene
Make an exaggerated laughing face, then an exaggerated sad face
Do a sommersault
Do a cartwheel
Fall down (on purpose and gently)
Talk in a funny accent
Talk in a funny voice
Eat like a dog with no silverware
Act like an animal is some way
Laugh for no reason
Make pictures or patterns in your food
Put unrelated pictures together, like a cartoon character in the middle of a group of landscapes
Wear unrelated styles, like a tiara and blue jeans or a frilly apron with a suit.
Blow bubbles
Do a cheer in the middle of a regular conversation
Put up colored streamers or balloons
Finger paint
Finger paint with soap suds in the shower or bath
Laugh in as many different styles as you can
LAUGH as much as you can!!

And, for inspiration, here's a fun video for you:

Is Your Child Shutting You Out?

FROM BECKY: Hi Guys,

I have just had the experience of working with two different amazing Son-Rise Program volunteers in two different Son-Rise Program's where the child they were working with spent some of their session in the bathroom of the playroom, not wanting to come out.

In both these cases, the happiness/comfort level of the volunteer depended on whether the child came out of the bathroom or not. Because of this, they both spent most of the time that I observed trying to entice the children out of the bathroom in different ways. In both cases, the children either said "No" several times or pushed them away/hit them and closed the door.

The stimulus that was happening was that the child wanted control and space, it makes sense that if I am feeling uncomfortable in myself that I would want to change the stimulus and have the child come into the playroom to make myself feel better. This would be a temporary fix.

However, if I changed my focus to choosing to be comfortable and happy anyway, no matter whether this child was shutting me out or not there would be far more long term benefits. Here are some of them.

1) I feel better and will have more fun, the attitude of The Son-Rise Program is more important than the techniques.

2) I have a wonderful opportunity to give my child control. The more control I give, the more flexible they will be.

3) It is not my job to get them to come out, it is my job to love and accept them and know they are doing the best they can.

4) If I let go of the "Need" for my child to come out then there will be no pressure, and they will come out because they want to come out which is helping them to choose to be with me, over being "Pushed" to do so.

5) They will pick up on my attitude and may "Push buttons" when they know I get uncomfortable, not because they are naughty or mean but because it's one way they know how to control things in this world.

Please feel free to ask any questions or list more benefits to doing this. I would love to hear more!

Fun with Cardboard Boxes

From Amanda: It's a weekday morning, and suddenly you hear the roaring of an engine. You think to yourself, What is it? It can't be a bus because school is out for the summer. What could it be then? Oh my goodness, it's the garbage man. You run outside and bring the trash to the curb; Then, you notice a gigantic cardboard box that used to house your brand new washer (we're pretending here) and realize, I will never have time to break this down for the recycling bin. Well, my friends, you can hold on to your boxes-because your trash really is some else's treasure.

Last week, we had a child here, at the Autism Treatment Center of America in Sheffield, Massachusetts for a week long family intensive. He loved surprises, anticipation, big physical movements, and visual stimulation. I decided to brainstorm games by myself a bit before going into the playroom, and began to look around my office for ideas. I looked down, and on the floor near my desk, was a small box. As I looked at the box, I saw endless possibilities. I then began to think, If only I had a box big enough to jump from. I called my friends in the guest services department and asked them if they had a large box. They replied "yes", and brought a large 3x3 box to my office.

Once I received the box, I immediately crept inside and sat down. Tight, but cozy! I then popped myself up into the air in a jumping motion. Yep, this will do! I thought to myself. Finally, I cut out two eye holes, filled the box with soft toys and scarves, grabbed a cool wand with ribbons, and went into the playroom.

When I entered the playroom, I was greeted by a beautiful boy of five years, with a look and a smile. This was my green light! I hopped into the box, crouched down, and waited a second as my friend ran around the room in excitement. I then grabbed the wand, some of scarves, and jumped up in the air as fast as I could, while saying "WOOHOO! It's Amanda in the box!" I got another amazing look, and this time, a giggle, so I hopped back in the box and watched my friend run around the room with growing anticipation. When I jumped out of the box a second time, I reached over, and gave our little cutie a playful tickle. Again, another amazing look and a heartier laugh! Now, when I got into the box a third time, I decided to wait a bit longer for my friend to look at me before jumping from the box; So when he began to run around the room in excitement, and when I didn't come jump out of the box, he ran over to the box, and peered inside - "YES! Great look handsome man!I love when you show me your eyes. This way I know you want to keep playing the game."

We continued our game for what felt like hours; laughing, running, tickling, and loving each other. We were totally and completely connected!

So you see, your trash could be someone else's treasure! Think outside the box!!

With love,
Amanda

Sensory Integration and the Son-Rise Program Playroom

FROM CAROLINA: A parent recently asked me if The Son-Rise Program can help children with sensory integration challenges - and I had so much fun answering the question that I was inspired to share with all of you.  The Son-Rise Program playroom is a magical place - and is the perfect place to help children with sensory integration challenges.

    "Sensory Processing Disorder" (sometimes called "sensory integration dysfunction") means that a child's brain has a challenge processing and acting on the input it receives from the surrounding environment. Children can demonstrate sensory processing challenges in a variety of ways - a child might cover his ears to protect from certain sounds, resist touch, refuse certain types of clothing, find it difficult to focus on the task at hand or seem clumsy in everyday physical activities.
   At The Son-Rise Program, we believe in neuroplasticity - the brain's ability to grow new neurons and build new pathways.  Because the brain is able to grow and change, children are able to learn to correctly integrate sensory input. They simply need some support along the way to grow these new neural pathways - and the Son-Rise Program playroom is the perfect place to begin this process.
   It is easier for a child to learn to correctly integrate sensory input when in a distraction-free, controllable environment where the child gets to control how much sensory input he/she has to take in at any one moment. The playroom is the perfect place for this. Imagine trying to grow an important part of your brain while navigating a shopping mall the day before Christmas - you'd probably have a hard time doing both simultaneously. All of your energy would be lost trying to protect you from the overwhelming environment you're in. If we give the child an easy environment, the child's brain is able to start working on those new pathways, instead of using up all of the brain's energy protecting from overstimulation. 

   The playroom is also the perfect place to implement sensory integration therapy - to gently introduce a child
to a healthy sensory diet. For example, with a child who is sensitive to touch - in the playroom we give the child control so they know that we won’t do anything they don’t feel comfortable with. Then, when the child is connected and motivated for interaction, we can offer a gentle sensory input – perhaps lightly brushing the child’s arm. If he allows it, we continue – to help the child become used to this level of touch. We then build up to more squeezing, scratching, tickling, etc. – all by slowly adding in the sensory input  - always with the child’s permission.
   We have seen many children with sensory integration challenges become open to sensory input after spending time in a Son-Rise Program playroom.  And I can tell you from personal experience that it is the most wonderful feeling in the world to receive that first hug, or be able to sing that first song to a child who was previously defensive to sound, or to hear a child giggling because he has finally allowed me to tickle him. Wishing you all these beautiful moments in your playrooms!

Love to all of you,
Carolina

Wake Up Sunshine!

From Katrina: Here's a random topic of conversation: waking up a sleeping child in the playroom. This doesn't happen too often, but for some families it does. So obviously, occasionally, it happens here at the Autism Treatment Center of America. This week we have an adorable Australian cutie who has the amazing ability to fall into a deep sleep at the drop of a hat.

Now, normally if the child is above napping age we encourage them to stay awake the whole day. We will play more energetic games, offer food and drink, lower the room temperature and up our Son Rise Program 3 E's. However, if all of that happens and the child persists in sleeping, we let them....for a few minutes.

Yesterday after all of my crazy antics the child unbelievably fell asleep on me (if I didn't believe I have control over my attitude or if I made unnecessary assumptions - I might have taken it personally - who wants to miss a second of Katrina time :) ) So, I let him sleep. I gave him ten minutes of peaceful uninterrupted dreamland while I tidied the room and prepared for "the awakening."

Then I began the process of waking this little guy up. I explained to him everything I was doing and why (e.g. "I am going to gently shake your body because its time to wake up, sleeping is for bedtime. When we are in the playroom its fun to play"or "you can do anything you want to in the room, but I want you to wake up so you can sleep at night") Then I sang "good morning to you" to the tune of Happy Birthday. When this had little effect, I upped the energy. I sang louder, shook a little harder, gave him rubs all over his body (while still explaining what I was about to do). I blew the smell of warm toast under his nose. I brought down noisy instruments and started drumming. Then I told him "I want to give you blanket rides to help wake up your body, so I am going to lift you up on the count of three" - I felt his body tense, so I know knew he was awake. I playfully called him on this "hey, mister I know you are awake, now come and play with me". When I went to lift him again - he sat up!!!!! I then continued with games to help his body become fully awake.

So, you can see that we can wake a child up while still having fun and giving them as much control as possible. If you are wanting your child to sleep more at night and less during the day, give these techniques a try.

Have fun sleepyheads!
Love,
Katrina

A New Game Idea - Make a Funny Face!

Hello to all of you fabulous Son-Rise Program parents!
This week, we have another great game idea for you - this time to help your child speak in longer sentences (e.g. helping your child move from speaking one word into speaking 2 to 3 words). We had a great time creating this game and playing it in our playrooms - so I know that you will have a wonderful time playing this game with your beautiful children.



Love to all of you,
Kate

Substitution: Out Goes Sameness In Goes Daring Action

FROM SIMONE - In many team sports when a team is struggling to equalize a match or needs to win a game, the coach will make a substitution, he will try new tactics, bring new people in, do something it hasn't been done before.

The Son-Rise Program is as dynamic as a team sport. Although we have a Social Curriculum and the Developmental Model to help us pinpoint where our children are at the moment and the next step we could take, sometimes we need to, just like a coach would, change the tactics and shake the game up.

Most of us would like our children to be more varied in their activities of choice, eat a more varied diet or choose different toys but have you stopped to look at your own actions? How many times we eat exactly the same dishes, bought in the same shops, or cooked in the same way, play the same games with our children and so on?

If we are daring our children to change we need to change first and changing means not just willing to change, sure that is important, but really dare to take action.

In our Program, we have just been concentrating in potty training while the weather is warm and we realized that we haven't heard many new words. Words have been repetitive and we have been joining as you normally do with repetitive and exclusive speech. I however during a feedback session realized that although Thiago's speech was repetitive he was being interactive, looking at the volunteer, being playful and she was interacting with him but joining his speech. I then got everyone together and suggested that we for a moment forgot there was such a thing as vocal isms and every time Thiago opened his mouth we celebrated, gave him something, did something and the results were dramatic.

If there is an area in your Program that needs shaking up don't wait for tomorrow there's no time like the present, observe and just dare to do it differently as they always repeat in the training courses: If you do what you've always done you will get what you've always got.

What are you going to do differently in your Program today? I think I'll wait 5 seconds longer for a response when I make a request than I usually do and see what happens! Create an intention every time you go in the playroom and experiment you never know what could happen!

Trust Yourself!

FROM BECKY: The last four or five questions that I was asked by Son-Rise parents, whether during a Son-Rise Program phone consultation or here at The Son-Rise Program Intensive, after explaining my answer and opinion, I was told "That's what I thought" or "Oh, I wanted to do that", etc. The message here is trust yourself and go for it!

Things to think to help me trust myself:

1) I know my child better than anyone else.

2) There are no mistakes, only learning's.

3) It's ok to experiment, it will help me know what to do and what not to do.

4) I do not have to know what to do in every situation. I can inspire my child simply by being loving and comfortable.

5) Judging what I am doing in or out of the playroom does not help me to know what to do.

Go for it!

The Sound of Silence

FROM SIMONE - We live in a language world. People use language as the main means of communication and expression but they tend to forget it is not the only means of communication, in fact if your child does not speak very much they will be picking up in all sorts of messages from you and language won't be the main focus for them.

In my more autistic days I paid more attention to the tone of voice than what was being said, to the colours more than the patterns, to the detail rather than the whole. My son pays more attention to rhythm than to melody, to things that are the same rather than things that are different.

To observe what means of communication are attractive to your child is crucial to communicating with them just like for example you would make a list of their motivations such as in Thomas the Tank Engine, Teletubbies, Ben 10 or Dora the Explorer, in our Program we also include in the list of motivations which ways of expressing yourself reach him more clearly so we observe, observe and observe.

The best time to observe is when they are isming because that is the activity of their choice. My son is definitely into rhythm, he bounces on the gym balls, on the trampoline, he drums on things, he is attracted to rhythm, so when introducing something new like a book we introduced a book with a text that rhymed as it has a rhythm and all of a sudden he went from not being interested in books to loving them. When playing with pictures we sing songs about them, we make an improvised rap about them, when playing with bubbles we pop them in a rhythm.

Sometimes less is more, we tend to think that because my child doesn't have much language I will talk and talk so that hopefully he or she will pick it up on the process and we leave no room for them to speak. When I am training new volunteers and I tell them about the 3E's, the first thing they do is jump in front of my child talking really loud. If language is really meaningful to you and I am asking you to be really expressive then it does make sense you will use language in a loud way. If on the other hand language is not a motivation for your child but rather a challenge, having your challenge screamed out on your face is not going to be very attractive at all.

What I do is I ask my volunteers to imagine they are actors in a silent movie and they need to present a book for my child, for example, without using any words. It is amazing how people with previously no expression on their faces or no movement on their bodies will become very expressive and interesting once you ask them to be silent. In 100% of the cases my child will pay much more attention to them then when they set out screaming at him.

I have just made an experiment that is going really well. I have hired a Brazilian volunteer (I am Brazilian myself) who can not speak English very well but she is an actress and circus performer. Because she can't rely on language much she is extremely expressive with her body movements and facial expressions and she uses only the focus words and sentences we are working on leaving plenty of space for my son to speak. It is amazing how my son is glued on her 100% of the time, maximum eye contact as her face is "speaking" to him all the time, maximum attention span and he is not missing out on language at all as she leaves him plenty of room to try it out. Obviously I need to be able to train her so I wouldn't hire someone who can't speak English if I wouldn't be able to speak their language but it has been a very interesting experiment which has definitely proven to me that words are not everything.

<3 \o/ <3
Simone

Turn Around of a Tantrum!

FROM BECKY: Last week I was working with a lovely family in their home and going into their Son-Rise Program playroom for the first time with their incredibly cute little guy called Sid who has just turned 3!

This was his second time in his new playroom with someone he had never played with before. As soon as his Mom left, he began to cry and whine. The crying and whining soon turned into screaming and throwing himself on the floor as I started explaining that I loved him, wanted to help him and that the door was going to stay shut for the next couple of hours.

I wanted to help him know that even if he cried, it wasn't going to bring Mommy back any sooner. I loved him, accepted him and knew he was doing the very best he could to communicate something to me. I remained calm and comfortable, slowly offered him things from the shelf, squeezes on his feet, or to sit with him and give him a hug.

I noticed that whenever I would talk to him or focus my energy on him, he would escalate and cry and scream more. Taking that into consideration I decided to take my focus off him. It seemed like he wanted to cry and was doing it to soothe himself in some way.

I still wanted to have fun myself, as that is one of the reasons of being in the playroom. So I got a Thomas the Tank Engine book and some stickers, gave him some space to work through it and let him know that I was there and ready to play whenever he was done.

I sat and quietly read the book and focused on loving him and having fun on my own, The minute I took my energy off him, his crying decreased and in fact, the more I enjoyed myself, the quieter he got, until eventually, he couldn't resist it anymore but to come over and check out what I was doing.

As he showed an interest in my Thomas book, I began to pull off one or two if the smiley face stickers and excitedly stick them on different characters on the book, Sid started to smile and get more interested, so next I stuck a sticker on my face. He was very interested in this and came to pull it off, as he pulled it off I made a funny popping sound by smacking my lips and bringing attention to my face by letting out a delighted giggle.

This evolved into a beautiful 20 minute game of me sticking stickers on my face and him chasing me around the room and pulling them off to get different fun sound effects. The connection was incredible as we belly laughed and chased each other. I was able to work on eye contact and interactive attention span, simply by connecting and having fun with my little friend.

If your child tantrums in the playroom and they seem to escalate as you try to help them, experiment with giving them space, creating an activity of your own and see what happens. It's not a bad thing that they cry, it's just a way of trying to get something across. Your child will work through it in their own time, while still learning that it's not an effective way of communicating.

Have fun!

Give Your Child Something to Look at!

FROM WILLIAM: I just finished working with a wonderful boy, here in our Son-Rise Program Intensive playroom. One of his main challenges was attention span, it was very short.

During my time with him, he was isming pretty strongly - sitting at the table that was covered with an assortment of different objects. A plastic plate, three or four figurines, bells, a harmonica, a piece of red ribbon, a hair band, etc. His ism consisted of picking up an object, tapping it on the side or top of the table, putting it down and then picking up another object to tapping with. He did this over and over again while also blowing on a kazoo that made a whizzing sound.

As I joined him he would occasionally look up at me and then back down and continue tapping. I would celebrate his eye contact and then go back to tapping and gently blowing on my pretend kazoo - this continued for quite a while. At one point I decide to hold on celebrating as my first response when he looked at me and instead to just do anything that I thought would be fun and possibly interesting to him. So the next time he looked at me I blow the kazoo out of my mouth and across the room. He just continued to look at me. I ran and got the kazoo and blow it across the room again. He continued to look and then went back to isming. I stopped building and went back and joined him. A few minutes later he looks up again and I do the same thing - with a lot of fun I blow the kazoo out of my mouth and across the room. He continued to look and I continued to have fun blowing the kazoo across the room. We continued this dance between him isming and him watching me be silly as I blow the kazoo and other objects across the room. Gradually he stayed looking longer, smiling at times and acting excited, especially when I started throwing cuddly toys across the room.

Because his attention span was so short I simply worked on him looking at me, so all I did was give him something to look at.

Be fun, be silly, act crazy, enjoy yourself...give your child something interesting to look at or to interact with you around. (Note: Asking them a question is not being interesting - it's asking them to be interesting for you!!)

Love and smiles

William

Your Son-Rise Program is Perfect!

FROM KATRINA: Recently in conversations with parents I have been sensing an anxiety. The general sense is: my program is okay, but if I did this and this and this it would be better, but I don't know when I'll find the time to that, or I don't know how, or I can't do it on my own. If you are one of these people who worries about what your Son-Rise Program is not. Stop!

I'm guessing one of the things that drew you to the Son-Rise Program in the first place is the love and acceptance of your child in who they are. Please apply this to yourself and your program. Your program is perfect, you are doing the best you can in this moment. The most important part of your program is feeling comfortable and capable. Go ahead right now and take a deep breath in, ....now let it out, breathe in again.....and let it out. Good. Great, actually, amazing.

You are the leader of your child's Son-Rise program. Therefore you are the one who gets to make all the decisions. Start by deciding how to feel (preferably light hearted and happy) Your child is not benefiting any sooner when you worry about more volunteers, your other child, how they are progressing, how your house looks, if you are creative enough, having the "right" toys, the list goes on and on. All your child needs is for you to be loving and present when you are with them. If you can do this, everything else will fall into place.

If you need any help with this, call a friend, post a message on Facebook, or please call and schedule a consultation with one of our amazing Son-Rise Program teachers or a dialogue with our Option mentors because the most important thing is for you to know and trust that you are truly doing your best.

with all the love in my heart,
Katrina

Love the Ism!

FROM SIMONE - Even though in the Son-Rise Program we are told to join our children's isms and we are reminded over and over how they are the door to our children's world, I too have caught myself thinking or saying "How can I make this stop?" I have thought for months before going to my Son-Rise Intensive Program how when we got there they were going to show me how to stop my son chewing everything in sight, yet I remember vividly William Hogan looking at me with his serene face saying: "Love the chewing"!

Here I was miles from home being told to love the very behaviour I told myself to hate every single moment of my day! I reflected then on how I too needed to ism as a child and how it felt soothing to me, how it even felt as if it was a body function like something that seemed so logical to do.

At that time I was more concentrated in starting a full time Son-Rise Program and on the bio-medical side of autism, trying to find the best possible diet that addressed my son's needs so I just followed William's tip and loved the chewing.

It wasn't until a couple of years later when my Son-Rise and Bio-medical programs were more established that I got interested in researching the neurological side of autism and I actually found quite a few studies which, although people don't realize it, support isms.

You can see a great number of references to the term fidgeting such as when you play with a pen chewing it or pressing its button a million times while you talk on the phone, for example, which really is a sociable accepted ism. Fidgeting is great for stimulating the brain, for keeping one focused and alert, for brain integration, for tidying up thoughts, as you could say, which are the very things we wish for our children.

Physical activity and the force of gravity on our nerves can stimulate brain activity, especially in developing children, more than actually sitting down to read a book. The typical school approach has been questioned lately more and more, perhaps in good time as the amount of television and video games our children sit through nowadays is contributing to a new generation of extremely unhealthy children.

The mouth and hands have millions of nerves sending information to the brain, helping it to make connections. We are so happy to see our Babies mouth every object and explore them pretty much in a similar way our autistic children do, we buy special chewy toys and rings for our babies, we buy colourful sensory toys and display them with pride, yet when our autistic child or adult displays the same need for brain stimulation, judgement comes in the way and tells us to stop them doing the behaviours their body is telling them to do to help themselves, to help them balance their sensory disabilities.

Have you been through those train crossings which say "Stop, Look, Listen"? I would say a similar thing about the ism: "Stop, observe, Love it and Join!"

The Contract

FROM GERD: I am currently having the great pleasure to do a Son-Rise-Program-in-home-outreach-tour through Europe. 4 or the 7 children I have visited so far are close to the end of their programs and are in the home stretch of their recovery from Autism.

I'd like to share one experiences I've had with Oscar, Patricia & Simon Logan, a family from Bangor, Northern Ireland. Patricia & Simon have been doing a full time Son-Rise-Program with their 9 year old son Oscar for over 4 years now. Through the incredible commitment and dedication of Patricia & Simon, the support of their exciting team and Oscar moving his Autism mountain, he has changed from a very controlling autistic child to a high functioning boy who has acquired stage 4 and is reaching into stage 5 in some areas of the Son-Rise-Developmental Model and Curriculum.

In the last two years that I have visited the Logan's, one of the first questions Oscar has always asked me: "Gerd, when will I be done with my Autism?" or "How long do I still need the playroom?"

In the past, we've always told him that we will let him know and of course always gave him some ideas of what we want him to accomplish, like making friends, being able to go to school, communicating so that everyone will understand him, taking turns playing, being open to other people's ideas, etc.
This time around, sure enough, as soon as I walked through the door, Oscar asked me the same questions. I told him that I want to watch him play with his friends (his volunteers and some same-age play dates alike) and then I would talk to his parents and let him know a bit later.
After observing him in the playroom , around the house, interacting with him personally and seeing the incredible progress he has made over the last year, including him still needing to ism here and there, I decided to talk to Patricia & Simon about taking a different approach. How about if we make a "contract" with Oscar, in which we list a number of clear program goals and we let him know that if he can consistently demonstrate the skills we are looking for, he will be done with his program. We will type it up and literally will have him and his parents sign the "contract". Then we would post it on the wall in the playroom, in the kitchen and perhaps around the house and would come up with a recording system in which we could check off his efforts, accomplishments and his consistency and we will do that for however long it will take for him to finish his "contract".

On the second day of the outreach I sat down with Oscar in front of the entire team and presented the "contract" to him. I explained that I was very aware that he has been asking me and his parents in the past when he would be done with his Autism and that now is the time for HIM to decide when he will be done with it. I explaind all the goals we wanted him to accomplish and why, made it clear to him that HE is now in charge off when he wants his program to end and that we will be giving him check marks as his is fulfilling his "contract". I also told him that his parents informed me that he is using his Autism as an excuse for not doing certain things he is asked to, by saying: "I don't have to do that because I am autistic" etc. I told him that this excuse will no longer fly. The expression on his face was priceless. We laughed out loud, seeing that he looked so busted and found out that he tried to bury his face in a pillow.

Then I asked him if he was willing to go along with the "contract" and reiterated that HE is now in charge in how long he want to remain autistic or be done with it. His answer brought tears to my eyes. In a very Innocent sincere way he looked at me wide-eyed and said: "OK, I will do my very best".

In the meantime Simon wrote me an email that Oscar loves his "contract", is doing well collecting check marks and that he is very motivated working on his "contract".

For all the parents out there with higher functioning children, when your child is at a level of when you can talk with them about their Autism, don't hesitate, but use it. Ask them about their isms, how does it feel to do them, why are you doing it (of course with a sincere, innocent attitude, not that they shouldn't be doing their isms anymore) and be prepared to hear the most amazing answers, that once again will help you to understand you child more, connect with them more deeply and love them even more for all the incredible effort that all the children are making every single day.

Colorful Language!!!

FROM WILLIAM: Recently we had a family come to our Son-Rise Program Intensive with their wonderful 9yr old son who was High Functioning / Aspergers. Two of his main repetitious activities were basket ball and talking about Dr Who (an English TV program) and all the bad guys the Dr has to overcome like Daleks, Cybermen, etc. He was wonderful to be with, fun and engaging, as well as peacefully exclusive as he bounced his ball and scored baskets.

He also had very dynamic and colorful behavior when he did not get what he wanted. For you parents with older High Functioning / Aspergers children or adults I’m sure you can relate. This boy would throw objects, kick, pinch and had quite a colorful vocabulary. This is not unusual, I have heard children use language such as "you’re stupid", "you're dumb", "I'm going to draw on myself you idiot", "You're so ugly", etc.

This particular boy in the height of a situation when he was not getting what he wanted told his mother in an aggravated tone that he 'hated her' and that he was no longer going to call her mommy but was going to call her ‘fucker head’ instead. At the beginning of her week with us she was very uncomfortable and would have a big reaction to this (lighting up like a Christmas tree!). She and her husband believed that the best way to get him to stop was to get angry and annoyed and talk to him in a stern serious voice, but this only escalated his behavior. They would get really good eye contact when he was acting this way - he was looking for a reaction, looking to see if this behavior will get them to change their mind.

As we worked with them they started to feel more at ease and relaxed about this behavior. They started to see that their son was doing the best he could dealing with the boundary that had been set. Even though he was so capable the world was still overwhelming for him (He got by but was not thriving. He still had no peer friendships, unable to socially connect and sustain such relationships.) They saw that he used this behavior because it had work in the past. They learned not only what to think and feel but how to act during this time and as the week went on their son did it less and less.

Regarding the colorful language - words are just words, we give them meaning. If your child uses language like this it is probably because it works. People tend to give in and changing their mind about the boundary they just set. Additional they may like to see mom and dad get upset – this maybe another way for them to establish some sort of control.

The key to helping your child easily handle the boundary starts with your attitude, staying comfortable, relax and remembering that getting upset and reacting will just make the unwanted behavior bigger. Try saying "It's ok that you feel that way right now." If you notice them reacting more every time you try to explain why you set the boundary, then stop explaining. Even try being silent for a period, stop giving them visual attention (don’t look at them), go to another part of the room and read a book. Don't get into lecturing them to stop - again in most cases this will fuel there reaction even more.

If you have a similar situation and want help with the specific challenges that your child present please contact us we would love to help you.

Remember, like these parents who learned to smile and handle this type of challenge, so can you.

Love and smiles

William

Every Ism Has a Purpose!

FROM BECKY: I was recently working with an amazing Mom who who is using The Son-Rise Program with her 26 year old son. One of his repetitious and exclusive behaviors was to run up and down the stairs to their house in and out of the bathroom again and again and again. Sometimes he would do this 50-60 times per day!

This wonderful Mom was concerned that this wasn't useful for him and that he would be worn out. Operating from that perspective, she then would give him puzzles to do and take him for drives in the car to distract him away from this behaviour.

Sometimes when we see a behaviour that we can't relate to or we wouldn't see ourselves doing, we assume that the person doing this also must share that view point. She herself would have been tired out if she had done this activity to the extent her son did but that doesn't mean it applied to her son. Maybe it actually energized him, perhaps he needed to feel where his body was in space, it could have been a need for control and predictability when others were wanted him to stop.

Whatever it is, there is a reason he is doing this that is very real, otherwise he wouldn't be doing it. We all do things repetitiously, we listen to our favorite songs again and again, when we find a meal we like, we tend to eat it over and over, we might clean the house in the same way each week. It's predictable and familiar to us and we trust it, and know that it works for us.

If we relax and trust that our children know how to take care of themselves then we will open our minds up to the possibilities and therefore be much more available to help them. This boy was not interested in doing a puzzle or going for a drive, he simply wanted to run up and down the stairs. So what often applies to us, does not apply to our children.

I would love to hear of ways that you have seen the purpose to your child's repetitious and exclusive behaviours.

Natural Consequences

FROM GABY: This morning Tybalt didn't want to go down for breakfast. In fact he decided to play with his clay. I explained that it was breakfast time and he could play after eating his breakfast. Because he didn't listen I said I was going down to do other things and if he wanted breakfast he had to get dressed and come down. He didn't and I went along doing other things like putting a wash in.
   On the way to the washing machine I came past his room where the clay was on the ground and Tybalt was lying on the bed without his clothes on. I explained if he didn't put the clay in the boxes it would dry out and he wouldn't be able to play with it again and if he didn't get dressed and come down now he wouldn't get his breakfast as it would then be too late. He didn't listen. After 5 minutes I had to make a dicision what was more important him learning a lesson and then this meaning him not also getting his medicines or running the chance of this repeating itself. I chose for the first option.
    I went upstairs to play with him (I did give him a glas of drink as he otherwise would get tummy problems from constipation). "I want breakfast," he said. "I'm hungry." I explained that breakfast time had come and gone. "No," he said, "I want to have breakfast."
    Completely calmly (how grateful I am to The Son-Rise Program for teaching me this) I explained that I had asked him to stop playing with the clay and come down for breakfast. "What did you do?" I asked.
"I didn't come," he said.
"I asked you to put the clay away what did you do?"
"I didn't put it awa," he answered.
"I asked you to put on your clothes to come down and have breakfast and what did you do?"
"I didn't put on my clothes," he said, and then added, "I will never do it again".
"That's great," I said, "then tomorrow you can have breakfast -  today you will have to wait for lunch."
"Please," he said.
   Thanks to the Parenting Protocol CD from The Autism Treatment Center of America - especially the part about natural consequences, I kept my stand. When the first volunteer arrived, he becan telling her that he wasn't geting breakfast (I had told her the situation when I let her in) and together the three of us talked about it and that he had to wait for his lunch.
   This was a great learning experience for Tybalt and for mom! I'm curious how it will go tomorrow!

Son-Rise Program Lessons from a 9 month old

FROM KATRINA: Having been trained as a Son-Rise Program child facilitator before I became a parent has been extremely useful to me. Mostly because I'm pretty flexible with my nine month old daughther. I know that she won't die by eating a little grass, I know that falling over is part of life, I know that if I get excited about eating peas she will most likely be exited as well. However, even I am sometimes surprised by how much truth there is to the Son-Rise Program techniques. Take for example the idea of remaining calm and not lighting up like a Christmas tree when our children do something we prefer they didn't.

At work at the Autism Treatment Center of America, in the playroom I give control as much as possible. I rarely say no, because I know that the room is set up as safe as can be. I feel like I say "no" at home much more, but I must not. My daughter, Kyla, is nine months old. She explores everything, she has an endless curiosity which I indulge when I can. This week has been intensely hot here in Massachusetts and thus a fan has become a necessity to sleep. Kyla has not been around much fans and so this she wanted to touch. As I tried to gently brush her hand away, and dissuade her and explain, she wasn't really paying attention. So I tried the "typical" attempt. I said a firm loud "no" and I think I even pointed a finger at her......Kyla started laughing. Yeah, not exactly what I was going for.

If my nine month old daughter thinks its funny when I scold her, I'm pretty sure its funny for other children who may not understand all of the social intricacies of life, such as autistic children. When we react in a big, excited way our children may not be taking in what we are saying. However they do see that we are having a big excited reaction. This is fun to them. It encourages them to continue to do what they were doing or do it again some other time.

If instead we remain calm and loving, explain why we don't want them to do something (e.g. its not safe, it ruins toys, etc.) and offer them an alternative to the situation, then we are not creating anything exciting about the situation itself. Our children will be much more likely to do what we ask. When I gave Kyla a different toy and made that really exciting she had no problem moving away from the fan.

I hope this lesson may be useful to you too!
Lots of love,
Katrina

When In Doubt, Join!

FROM BECKY: This week at our Son-Rise Program Intensive, we have worked with the most delightful four year old boy who at times will look a lot during his exclusive activities (e.g. rolling a train across a window sill repetitiously or drumming on a table with drumsticks).

On first glance it looks like he is giving you green lights, on further observation however, these looks do not have a connected quality to them and are too fleeting for us create interaction. This is where the motto "If in doubt, join!" comes in handy. This is how you will know these looks are not sustained:

1)If you celebrate your child's looks and by the time you build from them, they have gone to back to the ism, and then you join again and they look again and this keeps happening, then it's time to join.

2)Your child is not responding to what you are doing.

3)His/her eyes have a "staring" quality that doesn't have a brightness or another green light with it (e.g. a smile, vocalization or physical contact).

4) Most of your child's energy is busy attending to something else (e.g. an object in their hand, staring off, flapping their hands, etc) .

Joining your child will help them commit, they will either commit to connecting with you on a deeper level of they will ism more clearly, either way is an opportunity.

If they ism, wow, what a great chance for you to show your love and acceptance of them by doing just what they do and loving it! If they connect more deeply, equally delicious, you help them choose playing with you! Neither way is bad or less effective, both ways help you bond with your child. How wonderful!

.

Older Child?

FROM BECKY: Here are some more ideas of games to play with older children in your Son-Rise Program playroom:

1) Karaoke contest! Bring a list of steps to take for your Karaoke show (e.g. Choose a song, get a microphone, wear a costume, perform!). Then take turns helping each other execute this game. If your child is not yet verbal, have them hold the microphone while you perform, or create a song out of his/her unclear sounds.

2) Twister, good old twister can be played the conventional way or you can make up your own rules. For example, if you are working on your child being more interested in people place some subject words (holiday, hobbies, time when you were happy) that you and your child can talk about on random circles on the twister mat. The last circle that you hand or foot lands on each time, gets to share or ask the other about that subject.

3) Connect 4 with a twist! As you play this game, add a fun forfeit to the game so the person who wins or loses has to do something fun (e.g. give the other one a shoulder rub, sing their favourite song, do a dance move, etc).

I would love to hear more of your ideas or questions to do with interacting with an older child.

Have fun!

Passionate about Persistence!

FROM JACK: Howdy folks! Wow - as a Son-Rise Program Child Facilitator, I am constantly blown away by the power of this therapy, the simplicity of our techniques and the profound nature of the Son-Rise Program attitude. Today I want to talk about one really important attitudinal piece:
PERSISTENCE!

I doing on outreach with a little boy in his playroom at home, and I had designed and taken in my own game to play with this cutie (a whole load of train tracks and comedy station names like Tickle town and Sneeze city). Now, the moment I showed him my game, this kid said "No!" and threw it onto his shelf. So of course I gave him control, celebrated him for showing me what he wanted and decided not to play that game. But here's the thing - I didn't decide that I would NEVER play that game - I really wanted to help this boy be more flexible by enticing him to eventually play my game. So from then on I was PLAYFULLY PERSISTENT in reintroducing my game. At times I would bring down just one of the pieces of my game and do something fun with it - maybe slip up on the piece of train track, or sneeze the sign for Sneeze city out of my nose... The point being that I was never demanding my friend play my game, but simply showing him how fun and silly we could be through using it.

This continued for most of the day - I would do small things with my game and then my friend would tell me to put it back on the shelf. Then, in the afternoon, this little munchkin spontaneously came over to the shelf, brought down my entire game and asked to play it!! Woooooo hooooooooooo!!!

What really strikes me about this story is that I could easily have decided, after the first "No", after the second "No", even after the tenth and eleventh "No" that my friend would never want to play my game. But instead I decided "He just isn't ready to play my game YET!"

From this belief I was able to be fun and playful and PERSISTENT in offering my friend so many different and silly ways we could play my game. And by continuing to offer him opportunities, by continually and gently knocking on his door, he eventually opened up to me!

When we are persistent in the playroom we are constantly offering opportunities for growth and change. And sometimes people want time to warm up to the idea of change. So if we stop offering after the first time they say No, then we lose the chance to help them come round to the idea.

Have fun being persistent, my friends!

Jack

A Spongebob Attitude!

Each morning when you awake, take on the Spongebob Attitude........

"THIS IS GONNA BE THE BEST DAY EVER!!!"


........and you will have, THE BEST DAY EVER!


Love, Jamie

Insider Playroom tips (4)

FROM KATRINA: Wow, there are just so many things to tell you guys about Son-Rise program playrooms! Here is my final blog on insider tips from me to you on how to make your playroom an optimum learning environment for connection. (Please see my previous blogs under the category of environment for more tips)

-Keep the playroom floor clean! After your child has finished playing with toys (and it is a attention diverting time,) clean up the floor. This helps your child and you stay focused on the current game.

-Use a lock on your door (even if it is a bolt at the top, or a child safety door handle.) This makes keeping your child in the room so much easier and eliminates volunteers (or yourself) chasing your child around the house. Believe that the playroom is the best and safest place for your child to be and they will too!

-Always have a trash can, tape, paper, markers, and paper towels. As a child facilitator these are things that we use constantly and some families overlook. The trash can helps keep the room tidy, the tape, paper, and markers can be instant games, and the paper towels are around for quick clean-up (wipes are great too!)

-optional room items that make games really easy
-Velcro!! I love Velcro I think its the new tape. I recommend buying a lot of Velcro and hanging up a few strips around your room. Then when you bring in themes (pre made games) you can use the opposite side of Velcro and hang them up on the walls. This is much easier than using tape, especially if you have a child that likes to play with tape, or peel things.
-white board. We have recently installed a white board in our playroom at the Autism Treatment Center of America as we noticed that it is an easier way to quickly draw something that could be helpful to the child (e.g. write the word Pizza planet to pretend to be in toy story, or write the word "eat" to help your child say the word)
-hang a string across the playroom. One playroom I was in had a string that you could easily put up and take down constantly (2 eye hooks on either side of the ceiling, then a string attached to one side wrapped around a piece of cardboard so it doesn't tangle) Then you can attach games to this string easily (see our video blogs for more ideas on this)

Okay, whew that was a lot. I hope that it will be helpful to you! Feel free to ask any questions about your playroom and what will help it be the best room for your child!

Love to you all!
Katrina