To Bears and Samahria with Love

FROM SIMONE - I love to delegate days in the week or hours in the day to do a certain task, a task I feel is very important but I would normally leave it out in my busy routine. I love to make them into a routine that I will then automatically do them and never forget them. And so it goes that I write my blog every Wednesday, make music on Thursdays or I send a healing wish to my friends who are not healthy at 6:00 p.m.

Wednesdays are also a day to be grateful, not that I couldn't be grateful any other day but I think it is nice to dedicate a special day for one of the shortcuts to happiness. Perhaps I could go on and dedicate each day of the week to each shortcut to happiness and make a tangible approach to making happiness a priority in my life!

When choosing today what or who I was going to be grateful for right here on this blog, I thought, well if it weren't for Bears and Samahria I wouldn't be here writing in this blog. By deciding many years ago they would make happiness a priority in their lives they also decided to share their happiness with whoever was willing to listen that happiness was our own choice, and what a powerful message that is!

I was watching an old favourite film I had taped this week and thought how the story was a wonderful parallel to how I felt about Bears and Samahria, it is from my birth year 1967 and stars Sidney Poitier and a very young Lulu (British singer), it is called To Sir With Love.

The film is the story of young unruly students in the East End of London in the swinging 60's. They are considered hopeless by all teachers but Sidney Poitier's character comes along and teaches them how to love and respect each other by respecting them and treating them like adults, how to be authentic to each other, he closes traditional books and teaches them how they can be happy in life.

I know one of the fundamentals of the Option Process and of The Son-Rise Program is there is no teaching, we are all our best experts, but I feel like those students, I feel that before I read my first book from Bears I was behaving like a child, crying about what others or life did to me, being a victim instead of looking at my own feelings and beliefs, and the Option Process showed me a different way.

This is the title song from the movie, sang by Lulu, it summarises what I would like to offer Bears and Samahria, the Sky, the Moon and ultimately my heart, (Just change "Sir" for "Bears and Samahria" and perhaps add "there is no right and wrong, weak or strong"). A timeless song, listen, take it in, close your eyes and feel grateful for these lovely wonderful two amazing people in our lives:

Those schoolgirl days

of telling tales and biting nails are gone,

But in my mind,

I know they will still live on and on

But how do you thank someone,

who has taken you from crayons to perfume?

It isn't easy, but I'll try,

If you wanted the sky I would write across the sky in letters,

That would soar a thousand feet high,

To Sir, with Love

The time has come,

For closing books and long last looks must end,

And as I leave,

I know that I am leaving my best friend,

A friend who taught me right from wrong,

And weak from strong,

That's a lot to learn,

What, what can I give you in return?

If you wanted the moon I would try to make a start,

But I, would rather you let me give my heart,

To Sir, with Love

Role Play! A Great Game Idea!

Hi my lovely friends -

This week's game turns you into a pirate and a fairy princess. Use this video to inspire you to have a wonderful time with your children. Enjoy!

love, Kate

A Harry Potter Game Idea

FROM SIMONE - If your child likes Harry Potter, or even if your child doesn't exactly know Harry Potter but enjoys big movements, funny words and slapstick you could use this game idea.

You could dress up with a wizard hat made out of a cardboard cone and use anything as a wand that it is safe to use with your child, a drumstick, a plastic drumstick, a chopstick or even a wand made of paper. For the ones who enjoy creating things, you can even have fun creating and decorating together the wizard hat and wand.

This is a wikipedia list of spells in the Harry Potter books and movies, choose the ones that you think your child is going to enjoy the effect of or the ones you think you can enact in a funny way such as Alohomora, which opens doors, so that you could dramatically open for example a cupboard door and have some toys fall out in a funny way, or Densaugeo, which causes the teeth to grow too much, so that you could place some huge cardboard teeth in front of your teeth for a slapstick effect.

Print, cut out and preferably laminate for prolonged use, cards with a few spells with a short description to remind you what they do. Place them in a sack or shoe box, that could be decorated as a magic box, and have your child draw out for you the spell you are going to cast. The trick is, your wand is broken just like Ron Weasley's in the story and whatever spell you cast it goes back on yourself. Make sure you keep all the props you need at hand to get some really funny stunts from the spells falling on yourself so that your child is inspired to take the next card.

The challenge here is stretching your child's attention span and getting him/her to participate in the game. The more he/she participates the more you can add on perhaps ask your child to use language or to look at you in order to fix your wand.

Have fun and throw some magic into your playroom today!

Feedback to Basics

FROM SIMONE - The Son-Rise Program is so unique because unlike other programs it works through the principles of a philosophy, The Option Process. Everything we do, our attitude, not just with our children, but with our team relates to the Option Process. Being a philosophy of love and non-judgement, using its principles to give feedback to volunteers working with our children will only promote a better relationship in the team and that of team members and your child. Another great tool is to use the techniques you use in the playroom with your child, with your volunteers too. Here are some examples:

• Eye Contact - When addressing your volunteers giving feedback look them in the eye, it will convey your message much more clearly and sincerely.
• The 3E's - While nobody is advocating that you jump up and down while doing feedback, it's important to have expression in your face, smile, engage your listener and actually while demonstrating to your volunteer what could be done in the playroom, you could jump up and down, and throw a jiggle in too.
• Get them to participate - Instead of a long list of do's and dont's get them to pick the moment they most enjoyed or they least enjoyed and explore their beliefs about them.
• Celebrate - Celebrate your volunteers, give them a big cheers for doing something you discussed in the last feedback, for a new idea, for a moment of inspired 3E's!
• Be non-judgemental - Don't assume they felt embarrassed, upset or bored, ask, "How did you feel when Johnny spilt all his drink on the floor?"
• Don't forget this principle: "How we feel determines what we do". If a volunteer for example gives a toy very quickly to a screaming child it could be, for example, because he or she believes the child is unhappy and must be satisfied in its needs quickly or it could be, for example, because they actually thought the screaming was a successful means of communication and needed to be responded to quickly or even he or she perhaps didn't realize how quickly they were responding to it. If you address the issue by simply telling them "when my child cries act slowly", if they were acting quickly fueled by a discomfort I can guarantee you next time your child cries they will act quickly again. It doesn't mean they haven't absorbed the information, but it means they feel a certain way and their feelings determine their actions. Only by exploring their beliefs which generate their feelings you will be able to change their actions. So instead of "When my child cries act slowly" try "When Johnny cried you gave him his favorite toy car very quickly" "How did you feel at that moment?" Then you can explore whatever feeling they had and using the Option Process dialogue you can explore their beliefs behind their feelings.

Another great tip is just as it is the case in the playroom have fun doing your feedback sessions!

How Do I Interact with My Older Child?

FROM BECKY: Do you have a child on the Autism Spectrum who is older? Perhaps in their teens, twenties or thirties? Have you ever wondered how to play/interact with them? Here are some ideas that will help you to apply The Son-Rise Program principles to your older child.

1) Make it stimulating! Are you offering your child interesting and age appropriate activities when working with them or is it still the same old nursery rhymes and bubbles? Even if their language is not sophisticated, it doesn't mean that they are not understanding more complex ideas or capable of playing more abstract games. Think about what you liked to do at their age and create games where they can take part in a simple way. For example, bring in a craft idea such as "Make your own birdhouse" and have your child hammer some of the nails in and help you paint it.

2) Do something you actually enjoy yourself! What do you love to do? If you aren't interested in the activity then why would they be? If you like gardening, bring in some seeds to plant, if you play an instrument, have them be your audience.

3) Be age appropriate! If your child is older or more sophisticated, treat them that way. Experiment with celebrating them to suit their personality (e.g. "Dude, you have the best eyes!" and requesting in a nonchalant way (e.g. simply handing them the hammer while you get the nail into position).

I would love to hear more ideas and any questions you have on this subject. More ideas coming soon.

Pausing is Believing

FROM WILLIAM: When you have created a connection and built a game or activity with your child you are then in a position to make a request of them. What you request (i.e. Looks at others to start/continue an interation; Speaks in simple sentences; Interacts around simple shared objects/activities; Participates in another's activity; etc.) is based on the goals you have chosen after establishing your child's level of social development using The Son-Rise Program Developmental Model.

An essential ingredient to Inspirng Growth and requesting while in a game or an activity is PAUSING. You pause after you make the request to allow your child time to respond. Pausing is a communication to your child that there is something for them to do, that they can participate even more in this current social interaction. As one Son-Rise Program mother told me, Pausing is ultimately believing that your child is capable of what you are asking them to do.

If you are not pausing, ask yourself "why?". In my training to become a Son-Rise Program Child Facilitator I did not pause because I was afraid to loss the interaction, afraid that the child would go back to being repetitious, self stimulating and exclusive if I challenged them to grow. What I came to realise was that I could still feel good and enjoy being with the children when they were in their self stimulating exclusive activities. Additionally, I wanted to believe that the children, like all of us, are capable of growing and changing - all I was doing was offering them an opportunity, a choice, to do so.

Next time you are working with your child allow yourself to pause (pause for up to 15 seconds) when you are making a request from them.

Have a great next session with your child.

Love and smiles

William

Taking Care of Yourself

FROM GABY: When I started doing The Son-Rise Program, I listened to the CD Secial Children: Special Solutions. I remember a couple asking Samaria how she managed to do a Son-Rise Program for several years. They had started out full of energy but after half a year they felt burned out. She answered that every time she was about to go into the playroom she would ask herself if she wanted to and if not she would not go. I took this to heart. It's not often (because I love the playroom) but over the years when ever I felt I didn't want to go into the playroom I wouldn't but I would do something else with Tybalt. This freedom of deciding only to go into the playroom if I wanted to, made me more effective as a player. Also it gave me the energy to run the program for all these years.

Another just as important decision was telling myself I had to take care of myself if I was to help my son. Taking care of myself meant I had to gear up my energy by at least once a week do something for myself. For years I went tango dancing once a week. When my partner decided to stop dancing I decided to do something else. I started getting up early and create a moment for myself where I could read a book in peace without being disturbed. Last May I started jogging. I've followed a schedule to run 5 km and six week on I reached the point that I can run the 5 km.I have tried jogging many times before but never managed. Thanks to a schedule helping me build up my condition and my decision to do it this time, it became possible and it has given me so much energy.If you are in a son-rise dip that's okay. Decide to be nice to yourself and treat yourself to something nice. We need to take care of ourselves in order to help our children!

:)Gabs

Aggressive Behaviors!

FROM BECKY:Hi Beautiful People! This post is a follow on from the last two about intense physical energy. I would also love to help you with some things to do when the energy turns into aggression. This could come in the form of running at you and tackling you to the ground, getting you into a headlock, biting, kicking, hitting, etc.

1) All the same things apply as in the last two posts.

2) Get some large objects (preferably soft) that you can protect yourself with to have in The Son-Rise Program playroom/focus room. Try a therapy ball, cushion, or a beanbag. That way, if your child runs at you with intense energy, you can grab the item and put it in front of your body.

3) Action versus reaction! You have heard us talking about not reacting to things you don't want from your child. Please don't confuse this with not acting. You can swiftly grab your shield and maintain a sense of calm, strong and comfortable energy, trust me, I have done it many times and focusing on comfort while still wanting to protect yourself and help your child is a match made in heaven.

Watch this space for more ideas.

Recognising Our Capacity to Choose

FROM WILLIAM: I have just returned from England where we taught our Advanced Son-Rise Program Training, New Frontiers. It was a great week and just beautiful to see moms and dads soaking in all the material that was presented and to see them stretching themselves to be more comfortable and excited as they continue their journey of helping their autistic children.

One of the attitudinal themes of the week was recognising our capacity to choose what we say, do, think and feel. In fact every single moment we are making choices. Right now you have a choice to continue reading this blog or go for a walk - most of us can recognise that we are making this choice. There are always alternatives to our current choices of how we are acting and feeling.

The challenge and the grow comes from recognising that our unhappy feelings (fear, anxiety, sadness, etc.) are also an experience we choose to have. We do have alternative feelings to choose from when faced with unwanted situations or events. We could feel easy, relaxed, at peace, calm, excited, etc. The growth comes from understanding why we want to give our self an unhappy feeling when faced with challenging situations or thoughts (trantruming, hitting, isming, a difficult partner, thoughts about your child's future, etc.).

We make choices to feel unhappy because we belief it is useful and it makes sense to feel this way. It may keep us vigilant and alert to danger, it may motivate us to take action, it maybe a way to show we care, etc. Yet by now you have probably come to realise that these unhappy feelings are not useful in your life, with your special child, with your other children, with your partner, your work colleagues, your health and well being, etc. You can in fact be vigilant and relaxed, motivate yourself from just love and passion for what you want, show you care with a feeling of being at peace with what has just happened, etc.

Recognising our capacity to choose and that we are always making choices was a fundamental insight that many parents and volunteers in the New Frontiers program took away for themselves. They started to looking at situations they were unhappy about and changed these feels to one of ease, comfort and excitement. It was wonderful to see.

Today, just start by being aware of all the choices you make - what clothes to wear, food to cook for dinner, reading your email verses doing some else, getting upset verses staying comfortable, etc. The next step would be to ask yourself why you are making those particular choices.

Have fun with your choices.

Love and smiles

William

Remember That Feeling?

FROM KATRINA: This week is the Start Up Program at the Autism Treatment Center of America. For those of you who have been to one of our Start Up Program's I want you to take a moment to remember those initial feelings. The feelings of hope and understanding, those feelings of a community of people with similar experiences. The knowledge that your child CAN grow and has limitless potential.

Remember your excitement upon leaving? Focus in on that feeling, channel that energy next time you are going into the play room. Remember that huge group of people who were with you doing the same thing as you. Changing the lives of their special children. Loving, accepting, and joyfully challenging them! Gosh, I love that feeling!

Now, I'd love for you to take a moment and send love and hope to the large, worldly group that we have here now. Grow your love and excitement to include their child and their limitless possibilities. Believe that it means something that we are all here loving and wanting the best for each other.

Whenever you want that feeling of community again we are here for you! Write a post on our Facebook page or message board to communicate with the community at large, drop us an email to tell us how you are doing. If you'd like our help we are always here for a consult, brainstorming session or outreach (and many more ways of support). We want the best for you and your child!

Loving you and your family from Sheffield, Massachusetts,
Katrina

Intense Physical Energy Part 2

FROM BECKY: Hi Everyone! Here are some more ways to help your child when they have intense physical energy.

1) If your child has reached puberty and they like to linger after a hug or be physically close to you all the time, you can be their friend coach! One way of helping them to be socially successful is to explain that friends like short hugs and they also like to be asked permission before they get hugged. Practise this in the playroom with your spouse/member of your team on transitions in and out of the playroom. Model what that looks like with each other clearly in front of your child. This is an act of love and will be extremely helpful for your child when it comes to having friends.

2) Set a boundary! Make a deal with your child of where you want them to touch you. For example, I once worked with a 15 year old boy using The Son-Rise Program, who kept trying to touch and stroke my shoulders, legs and feet. I explained in a loving and non-judgmental way that I only wanted him to touch my arms up to my elbow because we were friends. We even shook on it. After that, each time it looked like he was going to my legs, I would sweetly remind him of our deal and he would stop and think about it.

3) Celebrate celebrate celebrate! Each time your child is socially appropriate and sticks to the deal, make them aware how amazing they are for listening and being a great friend.

More coming soon!

You Are Not Alone - I Am Here With You

From Alison: So there's me and there's Jordan in the playroom - just us, loving and playing together hour after hour, day after day. But, (and I so LOVE this thought) we are not alone; because all around the world, in thousands of other playrooms, mums and dads and volunteers are reaching out with love to their special children. At any given moment in the day someone is there, just like me. It's like we are this extraordinary family sharing the knowledge that love is the answer for everything. Last week I was on the Son Rise New Frontiers program in London and someone said that being on a Son Rise program was like being at a family party where only the cool relatives were invited. We understand things that noone else gets, we form a strength by loving unconditionally and whole heartedly. I have more in common with you if you are running a program for your child than I do with my own blood family even though we may have never met (yet). We are like little beacons of light stretching out across the globe bringing love to all those we meet. How AMAZINGLY AWESOME is that and what a WONDERFUL OPPORTUNITY for us to truly and completely love ourselves and our children.

Self-Stimulating - Now What Do I Do About That?!

FROM ALISON: An important topic for all of us parents is the topic of self-stimulation - so I thought I'd start the conversation.  So...what did I do when my child starts self-stimulating by humping the floor? I remember the first team meeting after Jordan started doing this, somebody mentioned that Jordan was doing 'it' and there was then this awkward silence as everybody faced their own feelings of discomfort with what had occurred during the week. Then we all looked at each other as the realization dawned on us that we all felt the same and that Jordan had discovered the ultimate button to push as we couldn't take it away.

From then on it became clear that the way forward, was for us all to become completely comfortable with this. We could then explain to Jordan that this is totally OK for him to want to do this but that it's something he can do when he is alone.

At first, the whole idea of being comfortable with this activity seemed impossible. The first step was to define our vocabulary so that we all spoke about it in the same way - then we all felt like we were together on this. Then we discussed what we thought Jordan got out of it. Jordan had not had any sex education so I knew that this was his own discovery and so as a team we decided to see it that there was no sexual connotation in it, Jordan had just discovered a sensation that he liked and so he wanted to do it repeatedly, for several of us this was the most helpful way towards comfort. We then decided that we could remove ourselves from the situation by turning our backs or leaving the room whilst explaining again that this is something we do alone. This is an ongoing situation for us. Do any other people have this too? How do you become comfortable with it? What techniques have been effective for you?

Love, Alison

Intense Physical Energy!

FROM BECKY: Have you ever experienced your special child having a sudden urge to express them self in an intense, physical way. Maybe they were sitting in your lap calmly and then the next minute they were banging their chin into your head.Perhaps they got over excited during a hug and wrestled you to the ground. Maybe they like to touch your hair and get lost in the smell of it. This blog was inspired by a wonderful Mom that I have been working with who is smaller than her 12 year old son and he can overwhelm her physically at times. Here are 3 ways you can help your child in this situation The Son-Rise Program way. I'll post more on this subject later this week:

1) Positioning: If you know your child has spells of being intense (e.g. tackling you to the ground or trying to bite), position yourself so that you are always able to protect yourself or control your movements. Don't lay on the ground or sit lower than them and experiment with distance. Often when our children are intense it may be because we were too close to them.

2) Be a detective. Look for pre-cursors to your child's physical energy, maybe they ate a certain food they had a reaction to, perhaps it was when you were giving them tickles and they got over excited. Ask yourself if you are feeling comfortable at the prospect of your child being physical in this way. We can sometimes pre-empt our children to do certain things if they get a rise out of us.

3) offer alternatives. By giving your child lots of sensory input throughout the day, they may be able to spread their physical energy out without it all coming out at once in a sudden way. Experiment with offering them deep pressure on their bodies, a chew toy to chew on or a bounce on the trampoline.

Please let me know if you have any questions about this subject,there's more to come.

Love Becky

My Dedication: To The Son-Rise Program Start-Up Family and Friends This Week

FROM BRANDI:

Hope flowed from their chests like an orchestra of angels conducting inspiration.
I sat back and watched with wonder and joined in their creation.


I watched smiles break across their faces like a Sun-Rise in the sky.
Not knowing what may lie ahead, but each determined now to try.


I was left inspired and full of love by their desire to welcome change.
And one by one I watched possibilities fall from them like rain.


I watched roads stretch out before them and the journey bow at their feet.
I sat in awe as they embraced new choices when others may claim defeat.

I am grateful that I could know them now on this perfect day.
These pioneers embracing fears so that love may light their way.

Son Rise Program Practicing Gratitude

FROM KIM:  

Gratitude…
 
On Saturday it rained … and rained … and rained…
 
I woke up with plans to pick strawberries… to soak up rays of warmth, and fill by belly with plump ripened goodness …but it rained. With the coziness of pillows and blankets surrounding me, a huge smile formed across my face… I realized my opportunity… this day, this day of rain, was an endless opening to delve into whichever adventure I should choose. :) Mmmm… Smile again.
 
A rainy adventure sounded perfect…
 
Off into misty trails of upstate woods I ventured... I opened up all of my senses to soak in my surroundings- honing into the sound of a far off woodpecker, or the crinkle of dirt and leaves beneath my feet… I sharpened and stretched my sight to look beyond the few trees that lay ahead- staring into colors, shapes, and shadows.
 
This rainy day adventure was turning into an adventure of gratitude. I was using each one of my senses as a tool to develop my sense of gratitude- hearing further, looking deeper, and feeling more.
 
In a very similar way I was “putting a playroom” on the woods that day… I was using gratitude and my feelings of love to connect with what was around me in a deeper and more meaningful way, the same way I feel love and gratitude when connecting and playing with my beautiful Son Rise Program friends.
 
Loving smiles,
Kim

TODAY is the DAY... NOW is the MOMENT...

FROM KIM: ♥



TODAY is the DAY…
NOW is the MOMENT…
Close your EYES…
Take a deep BREATH IN…
FEEL your body move in its own natural rhythm…
You are AWARE…
You are PRESENT…

You are HERE and NOW without the weight of any thought of past or future happenings…
How wonderful to be in such a place of TRANQUILITY…
And how WONDERFUL to have the ability to take ourselves to such a beautiful peaceful place WHENEVER and WHEREVER we choose… even if just for a moment…
Today WHEN will you have this moment?... or moments?...
Today WHERE will you choose to give yourself this gift?...
The GIFT of LOVE and GRATITUDE for the beautiful being you are…

TODAY, right now… take this opportunity to find your peaceful rhythm…
… Loving a breath…loving the feeling of your heart beating…


... Loving the rise and fall of your chest… the weight of your body grounding itself… centering itself…

CENTERING your Soul...

LOVING YOURSELF...



Sending SMILES, HUGS, and much much LOVE, 
♥ Kim

No Response? Time to Join!

FROM KATRINA: I just have so much fun writing about my playroom time and my continuous lessons learned I want to share again because if it's happening here at the Autism Treatment Center of America it is probably happening elsewhere in the world. This week at our Son-Rise Program Intensive we have a cute, cuddly six year old boy. He's a barrel of love and hugs and surprise! - he also loves to play by himself exclusively. However my little friend is somewhat different because even when he is exclusive he is still looking at me and talking (making sounds). Yet, when I try to make a game or respond to his sounds he doesn't respond. He continues running across the room twirling his scarf. After a few attempts of trying to make this into a game, I decided my friend really just wanted to do his own thing - and look at me. What else was there to do but join - and silently celebrate his fantastic looks.

Here at the Autism Treatment Center of America we call this waiting for a stronger green light- which means we will continue to join even though a child is looking or speaking until he (or she) gives us a stronger indication that they are ready to connect. This week's child will come close to you or even run into your arms when he is ready to play. Yesterday when I played I joined some but I experimented with building more (making games), however I found that he wasn't that connected in his games. After meeting with the team last night I decided to join even more!

When I went in the room today he was once again looking at me but not responding, after attempting to have a game in which he wasn't really paying attention to me again I decided to really throw myself into joining. I ran across the room and giggled twirling my scarves just like my friend, when he looked I smiled at him and pointed to my eyes excitedly, but I kept joining. I had so much fun doing what he was doing. After doing this solidly for close to half an hour my friend who had by this time wrapped himself in a blanket scooted over to me. I then began a tickle game with him that lasted 25 minutes! Gasp!!! His average attention span prior to this session(this week) was 4 minutes! Wow! Joining him and waiting for him to choose when to connect inspired him to play with me 6 times longer than usual! Now that is worth blogging about!

If your child is like this (talking, making sounds, looking at you - but not responding when you try to interact), try waiting for him/her to give you a stronger green light (a longer look, a more obvious attempt at communication, coming over to you). This will really give your child a chance to recharge him/herself and be more connected when he/she decides to play!

Have fun! Love,
Katrina

Why this is the Best That Could Happen to Me

FROM SIMONE - if you read my blog from last week you would know how excited I was about, for the 11th time, volunteering at a Son-Rise Program in the U.K.

For us volunteers in the U.K. the Son-Rise Program courses are the highlight of our year. We take holidays, arrange babysitting, stop everything we do for a week to witness the miracle of over a hundred Parents and Professionals learning about the Program that has changed our lives and watch them changing themselves and changing their children's lives.

When we volunteer we also bring back to our own Programs the joy, the 3E's and the magic that is being with the Son-Rise Staff and breathing in an atmosphere of love and acceptance for a week.

Having an ASD diagnosis myself I have always called my volunteering time as being "my playroom" because I always felt accepted, celebrated and challenged in a most beautiful and respectful way, as our children would be in a Son-Rise playroom. Also, as our children, I grew with each Program learning valuable lessons in socializing, in a context unimaginable for someone with my condition, which is to deal with and greet over a hundred people in a big room.

Funnily enough, I felt during volunteering at my last Program that I had somehow "graduated" from "my Son-Rise Program". Everyone celebrated my smiles, everyone said I was smiley (without prompt), confident, assertive and shining and I honestly felt that way. When one of the Teachers celebrated my smile I joked that I had "graduated" from "my Son-Rise Program" and then I secretly thought what my next Program would be like, if I genuinely felt there was no more lessons to be learnt, no more challenges, what would feel like?

After devising a whole military strategy to be able to be at the Son-Rise New Frontiers for the whole week, as this time the Program coincided with my Husband being in Spain and not being able to babysit for me, on the day before the Program my son caught chicken pox, don't ask me how as he is not schooled and hardly ever leaves the house.

My first thought was why now? Why this week? Then I remembered about my joke that I had graduated and there was no lesson left, but perhaps there was one lesson I could have: Flexibility. How to choose to be happy when I am not getting what I want? Or why is this the best that could happen to me?

I went back to my Option books and filled myself with the thought that the Universe is benevolent and whatever happens at this very moment is the best that could have happened to me. It so happened that although I was not part of the transformation of over a hundred Parents I witnessed the transformation of a little boy who was happy, spontaneous, cheeky, cuddly and affectionate despite being ill. He was all of these without prompt. That's one of the most beautiful aspects of the Son-Rise Program, our children do what they do because they want to, when they hug us it is spontaneous, when they smile it is without prompt, when they have the beautiful cheeky smile you can see in the picture is because they are a "Son-Rise child"

It has been a joy being at home with Thiago but wait for me in the next Program I will be there volunteering again!

Make Your Intention an Attitudinal One!

FROM BECKY: Hey All! Have you set your playroom/program intention today? To help get into The Son-Rise Program mindset, it's incredibly useful to set an intention for yourself in each chapter of the day. When you set an intention, you are more focused, grounded and connected and you are more likely to stay in the here and now and not be worrying about what will happen later.

When working with families, I often ask parents/volunteers "What is your intention?" as they go in the playroom or as they give feedback to each other. Many times the intention that they set for themselves will be a technical one (e.g. "I am going to celebrate eye contact", "I'm going to work on interactive attention span", "I am going to ask lots of questions", etc). While it's useful to have these focuses, I actually find that if your intention is an attitudinal one then you are more likely to be successful with the technical aspects of the program as a result.

For example, instead of making your intention "Celebrating more eye contact", make it "I will fill myself with love each time my child looks at me" or instead of "I will work on attention span", try "I will make having fun in the game my priority" or if giving feedback, instead of "I will ask lots of questions", make it "I will be completely present" or "Non-judgmental".

Let me know what you come up with and how it went. xxx

A Chapter from the Son-Rise Program

FROM BRANDI : A Poem for My New Little Friend
A Son-Rise Program Journey

Our fingers curled and twirled as we whirled from wall to wall.
No need for words as we flew like birds watching our fingers fall.

He felt the window and I did the same as we balanced along the ledge.
He journeyed one way and I journeyed the other as we tilted beyond its edge.

We explored our room in mid afternoon we explored the curves of our face.
Crossing paths in silence we laughed like angels in our own sacred place.

And within that sound your eyes they found me right as I needed nothing more.
We rose like the sun till our time it was done. We were reflections upon life's open shore.

No, Really - "LET GO!!!"

FROM JAMIE: An Absolutely Amazing Son-Rise Day! Looking back and remembering the Son-Rise courses I have taken at the Option Institute, and recalling such learnings as "Let Go"....."Without Being Attached to the Outcome" ...Total Acceptance." to name a few.

We, Tyler's team, didn't realize how much we were going with "our" wants in the playroom with Tyler. We thought we were being totally accepting, but in reality we weren't - though our intentions were to be accetping... We wanted so badly for Tyler to interact, or look, or have fun ....that we weren't really ok if she didnt. Today we "let go" and accepted whatever was going to happen - un-attaching ourselves to the outcome. My first session with Tyler, I offered food (in the early stage of gf/cf diet for the 100th time though this time with determination and readiness to make it happen)and she very strongly let me know she didn't want it. She wanted it out of sight. I put it in the bathroom that is attached to the playroom and let her know she could get it anytime she wanted. She then wanted to leave the playroom. I went and got some plain paper, markers, and crayons to just do my own activity - and being aware this time it really didn't matter if she laid on the floor the whole session. I wanted her to know that that was ok if she wanted to do that and to also know that it wasnt ok to leave the playroom just yet but she was free to do whatever she wanted. I wrote with marker on a peice of paper "MOM LOVES TYLER." I then made little hearts all over in different color. I didnt say a word. I then put one sheet of paper across from me in case Tyler wanted to join me and put the extra paper on the floor. 40 minutes into the session she came up to the table and joined me and started helping me color my picture. tears started to fill my eyes for the love I had for Tyler for wanting to join me and because i was so happy that I made the change to really be totally accepting without being attached to the outcome. I then made circles for her to color in if she wanted. I joined her in coloring them. She started to trace the letters - actually trace and not just scribble like we've seen her do as an ism. As the paper began to fill up, I took another piece of paper and in big block letters wrote T Y L E R. I then turned the paper around for her to take when she was ready and if she wanted. I didnt slide it over to her, I just turned it around to face her. I didn't request a thing! When she was finished with the first paper, she pushed it aside and grabbed the new one. I quietly took that paper and taped it to the wall. Tyler then filled in all the letters very nicely and with intent to color them in. I was so proud of her and so proud of me! Another amazing event... 2 hours after my session Jari, a team member, started her session with offering Tyler the same food and Tyler just put her head down. Jari told her that was ok she didn't have to eat the salad if she didn't want to. At the end of Jari's session, she was taking the food with her out of the room and Tyler grabbed the plate of salad...Tyler now had full control of eating when she wanted and when she didn't want to eat. Amanda, another team member, was excited to make the changes and being more aware and found Tyler to be more present that ever before. We made it a "No-Fix Tyler" day! And that, my friends, I call team work! Letting go, un-attaching ourselves from the putcome, and total acceptance is very very powerful!

Lots of love, Jamie (And Tyler ~ Jari ~ Amanda)

The Christmas Tree Effect - A Life Saver

FROM GABY: Six years ago I went to my Son-Rise Program Start-Up. It was a  life changing experience and in some ways I see it as the week that I was born anew. My whole way of looking at things changed and I found a strength in me I didn't know I had. When I think back to that week there are so many things I remember. One specific memory is that one of the teachers taught us not to light up as a Christmas tree. It stood out because I could see myself decorated with Christmas lights - lighting up all the time. This image has helped so often over the past 6 years.

I remember the day that I had had to go into the playroom because a player was sick but I also had to work. I transfered the telefone from my work and while playing with Tybalt I had to stop every now and again to pick up the phone. After two hours a new player came in and as I sat on the floor telephone in hand I looked up and spoke to her. That was too much for Tybalt. He crept up behind me and tipped his glass of water all over me..........I saw the lights blinking in front of my eyes and quitely stood up got a towel brought it to Tybalt so he could clean up the floor and without adoo went out of the room. I was so proud of myself!

Today Tybalt had a difficult start. He had gone to sleep with the drawings he had made of fruit figures. Misters Orange,Mango and Banana were gone. Taking the whole bed apart I luckily found Mr. Mango and Mr. Orange but Mr. Banana was nowhere to be found. Giving up, I went to take a shower. With the water dripping over me I heard him take out some books from the bookshelf and throw them down the stairs as a reaction to my stopping to look further. There went the Christmas lights again and I heard the words of Bryn talking during The Option Insitute's Parenting Protocol CD -  "natural consequences"!

"Tybalt," I said, "Books get hurt that way; go and get them and put them back."

He didn't react to me.

I therefore calmly said "That's a pity because we can't have breakfast and watch some TV until you clean up."
(For the last six months, Tybalt is permitted to watch some TV in the morning while getting his biomedical medicines which have an awful taste.)

He then looked and me and said, "Will clean up" and he made a nice stack and carried them upstairs. Oh I'm so grateful for the idea of Christmas lights and I'm grateful to Tybalt for teaching me so much patience.

Son Rise Program New Frontiers Here We Come!

FROM SIMONE - Since 2006 I have established a habit that would change my life. As I had enjoyed myself so much attending the Son-Rise Programs in the U.K. in 2005 I decided to volunteer to help out at the Programs in 2006 and I have done so ever since as I just can't get enough of the buzz it is being in a room with over a hundred Son-Rise Parents!

Son-Rise Parents rock! They are full of 3E's, Energy, Excitement and Enthusiasm, they have made happiness a priority in their lives, they were bold to tell the establishment they were going to do it differently, because their child and family happiness came first. Can you imagine what happens when over a hundred people like this come together in a room?

I call the Programs I have volunteered in "my Son-Rise playroom" as I have gradually learnt in them how to deal with social situations with the comfort of knowing I am being loved and respected for who I am, but I am also being challenged to grow. The love and desire to help other Parents to learn this incredible Program, which has helped my son so much, has helped me become a sociable person and overcome my former Asperger's issues.

People always say that we volunteers give so much, our time, the whole week, etc, but it is us really who really gain from sharing the company of such extraordinary people. I truly believe love and 3E's, Energy, Excitement and Enthusiasm can help our children overcome autism because it has helped me! 5 days to go, can't wait!

Hey Mister, Come Back!

FROM KATRINA: I am taking a break from my regularly scheduled blogging about distraction free playrooms to bring you a fun technique to help lengthen your child's attention span, its a twist on calling your child back to the game. Now, hopefully you guys have heard how to do this as it is the simplest way to measure how long your child is playing. If your child leaves an interaction (e.g. walks away from you bouncing on the ball), you call them back (e.g. "wait a second buddy, we were bouncing, come back and bounce with me") if he doesn't respond try again. If he still doesn't respond your game is over. The fun twist is this: if his interest in the game is waning, add an extra edge of competition by playing the game with a stuffed animal. It's amazing how if you offer the game to someone else (alive or pretend) your child might become more interested. This worked wonders for me yesterday!

The autistic child we have this week at our Son-Rise Program Intensive is sooo cute. He is four, has the most adorable chubby face,and he loves going for rides on our backs. Yesterday I was having an awesome ride game and we were going for all kinds of back rides around the room, sometimes when I was taking a ride break to help him say the word clearer, his attention would waver. He'd start to look around and not pay attention to me as much. To help him with this, I would model the ride game with a puppet friend. I would say, "oh, maybe you want to share the rides with the shark, here, its' his turn", then I would excitedly give the shark puppet a ride around the room. Sure enough, my little friend watched me the whole time and soon would want to hop back on. We did this several times. My friend who earlier had an average attention span of 4 minutes played a 26 minute game with me. Wahoo!

Next time you are in the playroom, give this a try. Add a little competitive spice to your session (Notice how the kitten is modeling her game using a baby chick -enticing and adorable!)

Have fun!
Love,
Katrina

Trains Trains Trains!

FROM BECKY: Is your child interested in trains? Upon request from a lovely Mom. Here are 10 ideas that you can try to do with trains in your Son-Rise Program playroom.

1) Be a train! Make fun sound effects and invite your child to climb aboard for a ride.

2) Make a train. Bring some tissue boxes, string stickers and even a whistle into the playroom, have fun creating a train and even giving figurines rides around the room.

3) Train puzzle. Print out a picture of a train from Google Images, cut it into pieces and put them on the shelf of the playroom. Bring down the first couple of pieces and start the puzzle by sticking them on the wall. Once your child is motivated make a request (e.g. ask for eye contact, language or for them to help you with the puzzle).

4) Be a tickle/singing/squeeze/chase train. Depending on what your child is motivated for the most, model the game by giving your child lots of tickles, songs, etc as you Choo Choo into them for lots of fun.

5) Make your trains go to different places and work on imagination play (e.g. the park, the beach, the jungle, etc).

6) Make train tracks using Artist's Tape across the playroom floor for you to roll the trains down.

7) If your child also likes visual stimulation, tie things to the back of your train (e.g. balloons, balls, bells) and send them whizzing around the playroom.

8) Before your child enters the playroom, write different fun action words onto each train (e.g. shake, sneeze, giggle, etc). When your child asks for his.her trains, bring each one down doing the fun action.

9) Make each train have a different fun accent or voice as you play together.

10) If your child likes sensory stimulation, have the toy train ride all over his body for a train wheel massage.

Have fun!

Inspirational Drawings

FROM GABY: Today I had a wonderful morning with Tybalt. First we practiced reading words and then we went to the playroom. Somehow Tybalt came up with the idea of drawing a Mister Orange. I was really excited because he has never wanted to draw but always wanted us to draw things for him but since a few weeks he has started to draw. Together we drew an orange, bananas, strawberry and a family of watermelons. The first figures had eyes, noses etc but as we got further we added hats,ties and the watermelons became a family with a baby in a pram a boy with a skateboard and from that we started drawing all the Mary Poppins figures as watermelons. All the while Tybalt drew things like eyes, noses. I taught him to add hands and fingers and he was really flexible with this. I was so proud of him! On Friday we have a Son-Rise Program group meeting and I'm going to hang up the pictures as inspiration for the team as I was taught at our Son-Rise Program Intensive.

Love, Gaby