Using The Son-Rise Program® Developmental Model

You’ve seen it in your Son-Rise Program Start-Up Manual! You’ve glanced at it on our website! It lurks in the corner of the classroom when you’ve been to programs at The Option Institute! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No….it’s The Son-Rise Program Developmental Model! And guess what? It’s here to help you. It’s here to guide you. It’s both your friend, and teacher. It will support you and guide your child on their social journey into our world…a world of meaningful relationships with other people…a world of friendships and peer groups…a  world of knowing how to communicate, how to socialize, how to initiate and how to follow…a world of social success!

Read this model, study this model, love this model, make friends with it, kiss it and hug it and know that without it, your Son-Rise Program is going to lack direction and clarity. Here is a simple step by step guide on how to use the model with your child.

1.)  Use it like a dictionary

Look at the overview of the five stages of social development (manual pages 16 and 17). Each box will take you through different skills that you can work on with your child. There are four areas to work on:

·         Eye contact and Non-verbal communication

·         Communication

·         Interactive Attention Span

·         Flexibility

The skills will range from stage one (basic social skills); right through to stage five (advanced social skills). Look in each box of the model to read each skill. It’s ok not to know what every skill means, if you use it like a dictionary, you will be able to look up an example of each skill to educate yourself. For example, if you are looking at stage one Eye contact and Non-Verbal Communication (manual page 16), take the first box under “Function of Eye Contact” Looks at others to start /continue an interaction. What does that mean? Go to page 18 in the manual  and you will find a  comprehensive explanation of stage one. Look up Looks at others to start /continue an interaction (the first skill:) and you will see a description of what that means (When you pause, your child makes eye contact to get you to start/re-start an activity). Continue to use this comprehensive explanation to familiarize yourself with each skill.

2.) Plotting my child

Creating a baseline for where your child is in their social development is going to be your next step. If you don’t know your current position, then you will not be able to get to where you want to go. You need a starting point. Using the overview once again (manual pages 16 & 17) you will want to go through each skill in each stage of each fundamental one by one and assess whether they have mastered the skill (acquired) or are still working on the skill (emerging). For your child to be acquired in a skill, they need to be doing it approximately 80% of the time. They also need to be doing it spontaneously as well as when you request from it them. For example, if we take that same skill looks at others to start / continue an interaction if they only do it when you ask them to then it’s not acquired. You will need to check out if you were to pause during the game, would they look to show you they want more? Would they start an interaction with eye contact or would they instead use a word or a non-verbal gesture?

3.) Setting Goals

Once you have practiced the art of understanding your developmental model and then gone on to plotting where your child is in the stages one through five on the overview (manual pages 16 & 17), you can now begin to select program goals to focus on with your child. Do not pick more than three or four goals at a time; this keeps things consistent and manageable for your team and your child. Look at all the areas that he/she hasn’t yet mastered (is emerging in) and circle the ones that would make the biggest difference to his play. Try to imagine him/her with other children his/her age. What would help him/her be more socially successful? For example, if he/she is in stage one in eye contact and stage three in everything else, then eye contact would be your primary goal. If he/she is in stage four for language but stage 2 for flexibility then pick a flexibility goal.

4.) Use your common sense

You may see some gaps along the way where your child is not doing a skill, say in stage one, but is really mostly in stage three. For example, he may be speaking in sentences, having two loop conversations and asking and answering questions (stage 3) and not physically moving others to get what he wants (stage one). Use your common sense to think about that. If my child has the ability to ask for what he wants, and easily uses language, he may not need to physically move others to get what he wants. So in that case, I wouldn’t necessarily pick that as my goal. If my child is 15 and interacting appropriately with a peer (stage 4) and he is not interacting around shared physical activities, such as tickles and squeezes (stage one) then I wouldn’t necessarily pick that as a goal because most 15 year olds don’t typically play tickles and squeezes.

5.) Have fun!

Enjoy using this tool with your team and your children. It doesn’t have to be perfect! Don‘t get too serious! Don’t push the goals onto your child! Invite your child to try these goals, show them that it’s fun to try and always remember to only challenge them when they are motivated. This way, they are far more likely to be successful with the goals you have picked. Once they have mastered one of your goals, pick another one!

When Parents Change, So Do Their Children

FROM GERD: I just had the great pleasure and privilege to teach a family from England, Natalie and Mark Armstrong and work with their beautiful son Jack in their Son-Rise Program Intensive here at The Option Institute.

On day one, Natalie and Mark changed their beliefs about what kind of session they had in the playroom with Jack. There are no "good" or "bad" sessions. They decided to look at every minute that they are in the room as the most joyous and effective time they could ever spend with their boy. The rest is all about learning how to become more and more effective without any judgments.

Because of those changes Natalie and Mark made, Natalie gave Jack more time and space to respond or initiate, by pausing more and being more patient. She no longer had to "work so hard" to get his attention. Sure enough, Jack, on his own terms came running into Mommy's arms for lots of cuddles and tickles.
Because of the changes Mark made, he felt more relaxed joining Jack's isms. He was no longer in a hurry to get Jack's attention and he no longer worried about missing a green light. Sure enough when Jack sensed that in his Dad, he came to Mark with big smiles and giggles, initiating a gentle "rough house" game and he started throwing balls with Daddy.

On another occasion Mark learned how to listen to his wife share, cry and explore, without interrupting her or defending himself, just being there for her as a deeply loving and accepting listener and Natalie cried some more, this time because she loved it when Mark did that.
Natalie on the other hand learned to let go of assumptions she made, thinking she knows what her husband is going to say, how he would feel and she dropped judgments of what he said and actually found out that Mark had wonderful ideas, insightful thoughts and feelings she didn't know he had.
At the same time in the playroom our wonderful Son-Rise Staff reported that Jack was staying with activities longer, ismed less and was more open and available to their encouragements.

Then Natalie and Mark gave each other feedback on their sessions with Jack. Both learned how to communicate with each other more lovingly and effectively, giving each other points of what they could improve on, without any criticism, but with love and care. In the playroom Jack was doing his part communicating more, leading the staff, using clearer words when he wanted a drink, some more foods or a particular game and maintaining eye contact at the same time.

Then I had a 2 hour session with Jack. It was such utter joy to be with this little bliss ball, called Jack. At one point he was watching me very closely on how I was joining him, then suddenly he dropped the scarf he was flipping in front of his eyes, came to me and put his forehead against mine, looking deeply into my eyes. For a moment there I thought we were one.
He was very interactive in three different activities, laughed a lot and clearly had the best time with someone he's only known for an hour.
As I learned later, Natalie and Mark were in their group meeting with the Son-Rise Program Staff, making a clear commitment to running a full-time Son-Rise Program for Jack, finding a new level of confidence like never before, and totally believing now that they have the tools, the know how and the attitude to be the best experts on their son.

When parents change, so do their children, even when they are not in the same room.

Natalie and Mark, it was a sheer pleasure working with you and your son Jack. Continue to let go of beliefs, assumptions and judgments that don't serve you and get behind the new beliefs you have formed while being here. The more you change, the more Jack will follow you.
Big hugs to both of you,
Gerd

Tips on Training Volunteers

FROM SIMONE - As I mentioned in my previous blog about recruiting volunteers I was going to share my experience of running a Son-Rise Program since 2005, I am a Brazilian Mom to an English 9 year old autistic boy, we live in London in the United Kingdom.

Before becoming a Son-Rise Program Mom I used to work as an teacher and as a trainer so it is no surprise that training volunteers is the aspect on a Son-Rise Program I most enjoy. Here are some tips I can share from training volunteers for the last six years:

Make a training plan. There is no set way of training your volunteers, you can find a way that works best for your family juggling around the time you have if you need to cook, do your housework or if you have other children to look after too. Although every volunteer is different, I like to have a plan I can follow and spend as much time in each category as each person requires. This is the training plan I chose for my son's Son-Rise Program:

Day 1: (1.5 hours, while there is someone else with my child)
I present the new volunteer with videos about The Son-Rise Program (I use some short videos from the Autism Solution DVD or the Breakthrough Strategies DVD) and The Option Process® that is the basis of The Son-Rise Program, and here I present the principles of The Son-Rise Program and how I would like our relationship and their relationship with my child to be based in love, acceptance and non-judgement

Day 2: (1.5 hours, while there is someone else with my child)
I introduce to them the basic terminology such as isms, joining, building, celebrating, etc., so that when we start our hands-on training they have an idea what I am talking about. There are a number of videos that can support you on this, Breakthrough Strategies, Autism Solution or any footage you might have of yourself playing with your child or a Son-Rise Program Child Facilitator or Teacher during an Outreach program.

Day 3: (2 hours, while there is a person in stand by to be with my child)
First Playroom session: Show video about joining from Autism Solution. Demonstrate joining with my child in the playroom for 5 or 10 minutes, or use Outreach video of Child Facilitator playing with my child when they are joining him, if you have one, and let them have a go at joining for 15 minutes while I make feedback notes. When giving feedback, I make sure my child is with someone else I have as a stand by or, if no one is available, I let my child play in the playroom by himself while I am in the room next door keeping an eye on him while doing a feedback session on the 15 minutes I have just observed. Find a point of change to focus on and return to the playroom for another 15 mins to try out again. Depending on the volunteer I repeat this process on the same day or on another day. Remainder of the time: Exercise on imagination, I give my new volunteer objects and ask him/her to think of 5 different uses for each object

Day 4 and subsequent: (2 hours, while there is a person in stand by to be with my child)
If you feel your volunteer has grasped joining, advance to the next technique: celebrating. If not persist on the joining for another day. If they have grasped really well the concept of joining, repeat the same process you did for joining for each technique and go on adding techniques until the person is working with your child 15 minutes at a time focusing on all possible techniques from the program dedicating one to three days to each technique depending on their response to feedback and my child's availability as if for example I am trying to train them to request and my child is isming all the time, they won't be able to do so.

After my volunteer is trained in this manner in all techniques from The Son-Rise Program, I then train them in endurance and I ask them to go in the playroom with my child for 15 minutes then each day. I increase 15 minutes in their time in the playroom until they reach the two hours they would normally work, when they would be considered to be trained and I would do then feedback once a week instead of at every session.

During the time my volunteer is only working for my child for 15 minutes learning each technique I still have training sessions of two hours and in the reminder of the time I practice with them improvising, celebrating in diferent ways, songs, body movements, facial expressions, how to fill out paperwork, cleaning and hygiene in the playroom as well as brainstorming games.

This is of course just a suggestion of how I train as I know of many other Son-Rise Program Parents who have trained their volunteers in completely different ways and were very successful too, the important thing is finding what is right for the rhythm of your household, yourself and your child.

Treat your volunteers with the same principles as your child - Everything that applies to your child applies to your volunteers, go with them, be non-judgemental in your feedback, be loving and accepting, believe in their ability to learn and grow, create training exercises that are fun and exciting.

When doing feedback ask questions before saying do or don't do this - Get to know how they work, what the thought processes of their actions were, before throwing in the teaching. Example: Child is isming, volunteer is animatedly trying to start a game with lots of The Three E's, instead of saying at this moment here when John was isming you were trying to play ball with him, don't do that when he is isming, you can say for example, When John was isming by the table I noticed you started a game with a ball tell me a bit more about why you chose to play with the ball...

Use improvisation games during group meetings - To get my volunteer creative juices going, there are excelent games ideas in the old TV Program "Whose line is it anyway?" one Idea for example I like to use is the party mystery guest. Make cards with some character names on them you could have for example builder, Indian, Teletubby, Thomas the Tank, Woody from Toy Story, someone with hiccups, someone who talks fast or sneezes a lot, someone who trips over everything, the possibilities are endless. Put the cards in a hat or bag and ask your volunteers to draw a card, show you but not anybody else in the group. They will have to pretend they were that character from the card while another volunteer who will play the party host will have to guess which character each volunteer is playing.

Vary group meetings to keep them interesting - Sometimes we have brainstorming sessions in which we think of games, some others fun games like the one above, we sometimes go out together to celebrate someone's birthday or farewell or to celebrate a new volunteer entering the team.
It is very important that your volunteers understand how to build up games themselves, rather than just giving them activities to play with your child that are ready made, even if you have tons of activities you already thought of. One game to help them understand the structure of Son-Rise Program games is making a bunch of cards with themes that your child is interested in, another bunch of cards with names of props and another with the objectives you are working on. Arrange the cards in three different piles and each volunteer in turn has to draw one card of each pile and think of a game that envolves the combination they got, so for example, they can have Dinossaurs as a theme, a ball as a prop and eye contact as an objective, because it is quite hard to marry random elements they will have to work harder at it and will therefore retain the structure of marrying objective with child's motivation very well in their head and also potentially weird combinations also pose a fun and challenging factor in the activity.

Hope the tips were useful and that they will help you enjoy training, it can be as fun as being with your child in the playroom!

Creating & Sustaining Interactions with Your Child to Help Them to Become More Social

Autism is a social relational disorder. Creating and sustaining interactions with our children is a core factor in helping them become more social.

What is an interaction? Well, an interaction could be anything from a tickle, to a board game, from you singing a song, to a conversation, from reading together, to wiping up a spilt drink together.

The defining factor of an interaction isn’t the activity itself but instead, how your child shows up in that activity. Are they looking, talking, paying attention, involved and participating? (any of the above or a mixture of the above)?

Our children have a knack for being exclusive and can also appear like they are playing with us, when in fact, they are not. So to determine this, we need to again look at their body language, if they are tuning us out, staring through us, constantly talking or babbling over us as we celebrate and play, becoming intent and focused on an object more than they are on us (e.g. fiddling with the balloon, lining up the board game pieces, flipping the pages of the book before you have a chance to read the next page, etc) then this is not an interaction.

Now, an interaction itself can also be varied in the way your child attends to you. They could be across the room, watching and paying attention as you create a fun action or play with an object. If they are taking notice of you then it’s an interaction. The other end of that scale is that they are more involved (e.g. laughing, coming over to you, commenting on what you are doing or participating), again it could be one or a mixture of any of the above.

You can have interactions that stop and start, stop and start. This might look like this: they attend to you, then they are exclusive for a while, then pay attention again and then become exclusive, each time they attend to you, whether it is just to watch as you entertain them (they sit in the corner and watch as you blow up a balloon), or they are more involved by participating with you (e.g. they grab the balloon and bring it back to you to keep blowing up for them), then you want to work on their interactive attention span and lengthening the time they spend being engaged with you.
Read Tip #1 if this is your child...

Some children need help deepening the quality of the interaction once they are in it. This is something you would work on with a child that is showing some interest in what you are offering but a part of him or her is also busy doing something else, perhaps holding and looking at an object, staring off into the distance, babbling or continuously verbalizing over you as you play. If this sounds like your child, then a quality of interaction and deepening of their connection level in the interaction is what you want to work on.
Read Tip #2 if this is your child...

Some children also have the challenge of flitting from thing to thing to thing. So although they are not exclusive, but connected with you, they go from singing to tickles to drawing to reading all in matter of a few minutes.
If this is your child, sticking with one game/activity would be the thing to work on and you can use Tip #3.

Here are a few tips that will help you focus on your child's particular area of challenge:

Tip #1: Lengthening interactive attention span

• Build, Build, Build! Give them plenty of what they like and are motivated for before you ask them to do anything. Remember: simply attending to you for longer is already a stretch for them! If they are enjoying you singing to them, sing them a couple of songs in a fun, entertaining way instead of singing for a second and then asking them to sing with you.
• Playfully call them back to the game when they walk away (e.g. “Hey where are you going? I’m giving you tickles!”).
• Join them fully whenever they become exclusive! Sometimes our children need frequent breaks within the interaction. If we are quick to join them in their world, they are quicker to join us in our world.

Tip #2: Deepening the quality of connection and commitment to the interaction

• Continually focus on eye contact with your child as you play. Position yourself at or below eye level.
• Use big body movements and animation as you entertain them, the more dynamic you are, the more chance your child will want to connect.
• Ask them to physically participate! Give them a role in the game by inviting them over to help you in some way (e.g. “You get the brick so we can build the tower!”)

Tip #3: Helping your child to stick with one interaction versus flitting from activity to activity

• Give the interaction some structure. Instead of flitting with them from thing to thing to thing, take the first thing that interests them and set it up for success (e.g. they want the bubbles, try saying “I’ll blow the bubbles and you see how many you can pop!”).
• Weave their interest back to the same game. If you are blowing bubbles and they start banging on a drum, sing about the bubbles while they bang and continue to blow for them. Once they focus on you again, invite them back to pop them.
• Keep the floor distraction free! Clean up the toys that aren’t being used at regular intervals so you can work with a nice blank canvas.

Try these tips and comment below with your personal experiences...

Son-Rise Program ® Mom Sings and Puts Music to My Poem: King Of Imagination

http://www.option.org/media/audio/SRS-KingOfImag-mp3.mp3

From Brandi: I have found great joy in sharing my poetry, written for various children from our Son-Rise Intensive Program, since I began writing blogs. A few months ago a Son-Rise Program Mom from Norway wrote me. She told me that she was inspired by the poetry that I have written about our Son-Rise children. She said that she shares each of my poems with her children at the breakfast table in the mornings. HOW FANTASTIC!! The ways in which we can inspire ourselves is endless. Caroline has created her own melodies to a few of my poems and you can hear her singing one of them if you follow the link above. Enjoy!

4 Tips for Toothbrushing Fun

Our kids are just like us...they want to do things they think are fun! We all move towards activities we enjoy and see as positive. Yet, sometimes (maybe more than sometimes?) as adults, we pick certain things and call them 'necessary' in our own mind instead of thinking of them as fun. Like nail clipping and hair brushing and, of course, tooth brushing. When we see it as a 'chore' or 'stressful' or we feel ourselves sigh as we anticipate it the result is that we certainly don't make it fun. We can change that! We can bring playfulness and fun to the experience and create a welcoming invitation for our children. Once we do that, we create something positive and playful that our children will want to move towards, not away from. Every one of us can do this!

Here are some ideas for how you can bring FUN to tooth brushing:

Give it a name
Pick a name for your toothbrush. Each morning (and afternoon, and evening) when you go to brush your teeth in front of your child, begin by excitedly talking about how you are going to have FUN with "Mary". You could say, "Hey, I want to go have fun with Mary, want to come?" Then give Mary an excited greeting and even a kiss when you see her!

Get your groove on
While you brush your teeth, hum a playful (or rockin', or hip hop...) tune and dance as you brush. With your mouth full of toothpaste and song, shake your booty! Show your child how FUN it is to be doing a toothbrush jig.

Make it a family affair
Invite your family member to be a part of the Brushing Party! Tooth brushing isn’t just for the bathroom. You can invite everyone in the house (your other children, your spouse or even grandma) to join you in a group brush. Hand out toothbrushes to everyone and march in a circle and dance as you go. Show your child how FUN this experience can be.

Dress for success
When you go to brush, put your brushin' hat on. Or your brushing scarf, or your silly brushing glasses. Make it an 'event' by highlighting the experience with some FUN kind of fashion accessory. Wrap a pink boa around your neck, or put on your biggest ten gallon hat. This is an exciting moment and we always dress up for our special events.


HAVE FUN!!!

What do I Want?

FROM BECKY: This morning, here at The Autism Treatment Center of America in our Son-Rise Program Intensive, I was teaching the Mother of an adorable 9 year old boy with Autism.

Something I noticed from observing this lovely Mom in the playroom was that she wasn't building (offering a fun action) when her son gave her a green light (spontaneously interacted with her). So this meant that her son would spontaneously engage with her and then go back to his exclusive activity of ripping pages out of his coloring book.

When we talked about this, she came up with some very creative and fun ways that she could have built from her sons cues. All of which sounded awesome! I asked her some simple questions to understand why she hadn't built and she revealed that she had been stuck in her head, in her own thought processes. So instead of doing something, she did nothing! From exploring this further it became clear that she was censoring herself from trying things, in case he said "No". In her attempts to trying to stay away from what she didn't want, she actually never once allowed herself to go for what she actually wanted. This also played out in many other areas of her life and a result of that was her constantly moving away from things concerning her son than moving toward them and taking action to first be aware of what she wanted and then move toward her wants.

When we ask ourselves the simple question of "What do I want right now?" We can be more active in our lives. This can apply to the smallest snapshot of our day (e.g. "What do I want in the playroom with my child?.....I want to have fun!....to connect with him.....to express my love) or to the largest aspect of our lives.....What do I want in my relationship?.....my job?.....my health?, etc.

When we figure out what we want, we begin a journey of moving toward! When we concentrate on what we don't want, we move away from and therefore don't take action. It's a completely different path that disconnect us further and further from our wants.

Watch This Video! You Will Love It!!!

From Brandi: I have been thinking about the nature of possibilities lately and how it relates to Autism and my own life. The video above speaks in volumes about what we can achieve in this world. This beautiful group of band members have created steps of inspirational expression where a straight road of limitations could have easily been paved. When the camera zoomed into their smiling faces I was blown away by what each of them have achieved for themselves! Loving expression and possibilities truly have no limits. We are the one's who decide what our limitations are. Can you imagine if we truly believed that we are capable of anything. ANYTHING!! When you look in your children's eyes today remember what is possible. Remember the power of change that we each have access to. Remember that who they are is perfect. Remember that the sky is not the limit and that you can reach as high as you choose. Have fun today!!

Mati

This is Mati - What a Cutie Pie!
Mati is a chatty and lively 5 year old with autism. I met him and his wonderful parents Carlos and Patricia in July in Argentina, when I was lucky enough to visit their home and do a Son-Rise Program outreach.

During the outreach I got to watch Carols, Patricia and some members of their team play with Mati and give them some pointers on how to increase Mati's social interaction.One thing that stood out about their program is the dedication and love they have for their son, and their creative powers of thinking up and creating interesting and fun games to inspire Mati to want to interact with them. I also got to play with Mati myself.

Mati has many things that he loves to play and chat about. He loves to talk about things in the supermarket, escalators, trains and train stations are a particular passion of his. He also loves drama and is quite the opera buff especially liking Don Giovanni, and has a great singing voice himself. He can be very thoughtful, he asked me whether I spoke Italian, as he can speak a little himself he was trying to find a language that we had in common-how amazing is that!.

We talked during the outreach about The Son-Rise Program technique of joining, and how to know when Mati was being exclusive. During my session with him I was able to demonstrate this by joining in with his escalator ism. He would line up legos and talk about how big and long and how many steps the escalator had. I joined him by creating my own escalator and talking about how long and big mine was. After 15 minutes or more of joining him he stopped looked at me and asked me if we liked escalators at Options. (He was calling The Autism Treatment Center of America, "Options".) I liked to think that he asked this question because I had been joining in with him with such sincere delight in escalators, that he had the experience of playing with someone who liked escalators as much as he did- making me easier to relate to. Of course I let him know that if he came to the Autism treatment Center of America he would find a whole bunch of people who would love to play his escalator game with him.

Thank you Carlos, Patricia and Mati for a beautiful day.
Keep up the amazing work you are doing with Mati.

Tracking Interactive Attention Span

FROM BECKY: As requested from a beautiful family I worked with recently, here is a clear and simple way to track your child's interactive attention span.

When your child is in a game/activity/interaction with you and they walk away but are not yet focused on anything else, call them back to the game (e.g. "Where are you going?", "Come back here", etc). If you try calling them back two consecutive times and they come back then you can continue that same game and track it all as one interaction. If, however, they do not come back but go onto something else or become exclusive, then that interaction is over.

This guideline is taken from the third edition of The Son-Rise Program Developmental Model. This has been shown to be the most effective and simplest way to work on tracking interactions.

Have fun with those games!

Games Games Games!

Hello Everyone,

The Autism Treatment Center of America brings you some more creative game ideas that you can take into your Son-Rise Program playrooms and inspire your children to:

Want to look at you
Want to talk to you
Want to engage and play with you.

Just click on the video below.

Guilia

This is Giulia- isn't she lovely!!!

Giulia is another gentle soul with Autism I met on on my travels in Argentina. I was lucky enough to do A Son-Rise Program Outreach with her and her Mom Xexa.

Not only does Xexa run a full time Son-Rise Program for her daughter which is bursting at the seems with the 3E's, but she also works late into the night to help other families who have autistic children know about The Son-Rise Program through the CEUPA organization. Thank you Xexa for your dedication in spreading the good news of The Son-Rise Program.

Giulia is a snuggle bug!! She will give so many cuddles and kisses, and she likes to bury her head into your chest, or lean on you any chance that she gets. She is an expert jumper, and loves to chew and shake things as she looks at herself in the mirror, as well as being an avid reader of books. She is a great listener, often looking deeply into your eyes as you celebrate her or explain how to say a word. She is just a delight to play with!

Her team of passionate volunteers were so excellent in the Son-Rise Program techniques of joining and celebrating Giulia that she is beginning to interact and connect with her team of volunteers more and more. One major way she is showing her team that she is ready to play is by physically connecting with them through hugs, leaning on their shoulders etc. During the outreach we talked about using this physical contact as a green light, a time when they can initiate games and activities with Giulia to help her lengthen her interactive attention span.

If your child loves to hug you, one thing you can do is to put little toys in your pocket, such as a harmonica or a folded piece of paper and a crayon, so when you child goes to hug you, you can offer them a game of coloring, or start playing some music.

Sending much love to you Giulia, and Xexa and to each of your wonderfully passionate and dedicated team.
Go Team Giulia

The Son-Rise Program Spread Around the World

FROM BECKY: I did a Son-Rise Program consultation at the weekend with a family that I work closely with. Their sweet four year old son Tomas has grown so remarkably in the past 1.5 years since they started running their Son-Rise Program that he is now having regular play dates with other children and is beginning part-time school this fall.

He's doing so well that they decided to take a family vacation and were calling me from Columbia. While in Columbia, this amazing Mom has decided to do a presentation on The Son-Rise Program to a group of parents and professionals right there in Bogota, Columbia. This presentation started out with just a few people attending and has now grown to 50 people. She is doing this presentation tomorrow, so please spare a thought for her as she spreads the Son-Rise word in Columbia!

Franco

This is Franco and me.

As you can see he is a very handsome 14 year old. Some of his greatest loves in life are his Mom, putting colored glue in the palm of his hand and peeling it off, pop music and food.. He has the sweetest eyes, is incredible fun to play with and he has autism.

Franco and his Mom Vivi live in Argentina. I was fortunate enough to do a Son-Rise program Outreach with this family last month. Thank you Vivi for welcoming me so warmly into your home. Vivi was the first Argentine family to find out about the Son-Rise Program and travel to The Autism Treatment Center of America to do The Son-Rise Program Start Up. When Vivi first started her Son-Rise program with Franco he was 12 years old, completely non verbal, having yet to say his first word. He had very low eye contact and did not interact with his family, spending most of his days exclusively in his own world.

He is now 14 years old and Vivi has been running his Son-Rise Program for the last two years. He now speaks in 2-3 word phrases, and has just started to tell his family and friends what he was doing the day before, the beginnings of mini conversations!!!! He interacts for up to 15 minutes at a time, talking, looking and taking turns in games with his volunteers.

There are professionals who will tell you that your child cannot learn past a certain age. Here in the Son-Rise Program we have seen children in their teens just as Franco and in their 20's and 30's begin to speak and make significant changes in their social development. Take Franco as your inspiration that your child has every possibility to make changes.

Hurray to you Franco for doing the work to make these changes within yourself.
Hurray to you Vivi for creating a strong program for your child, and always searching for answers.
Hurray to the Son-Rise program for giving hope to families across the globe.

How Controlling Are You?

FROM BECKY: Last week my best friend Holly was here from England staying in my home for the week. I had the week off work and we both enjoyed a fabulous week of catching up with each other, laying on the beach, and relaxing together.

I have always known I was a little controlling when it came to my kitchen, but last week I was aware of just how much I feel the need to control what happens in my kitchen and how everything is done. At times I would catch myself checking on whether my friend had used the appropriate cloth to wipe the surfaces with or if she had squeezed the dish sponge out or left it soaking wet in the sink. I also re-stacked the dishwasher the way I wanted it a couple of times.

As I explored this subject with my friend, at times laughing and joking at myself and at other times looking for my beliefs around my actions and deeper reasons for why I chose to be this way. As I did this, I discovered some things:

First of all, I found that I believed the way I did things was the most logical to me, the safest and healthiest way to do things (e.g. "Of course you squeeze the sponge out when you have finished washing the dishes, otherwise it holds bacteria and will begin to smell, therefore needing to change the sponge more quickly" or, "I need to fit more into the dishwasher so I'm going to stack it for maximum productivity", etc).

Secondly, I realized that there are many things in my life that it's not useful or it's impossible to control (e.g. I can't be controlling in my work because I work as part of a team and it wouldn't be effective, I also teach parents to let go of outcomes and attachments and that they can choose to be happy even when they have no control so I want to be a model for what I teach there). I also can't be controlling in my relationship because I have seen that it leads to us butting heads and drives us apart. instead of us working together towards a similar goal. The one thing I can control in my life is my own kitchen, how it's run and what goes on there!

I also noticed that when I'm being controlling, people back off and I don't get help with things. Seeing as I'm nearly six months pregnant, Holly was actually being helpful by doing some things for me to lighten my load. When I was controlling, she stopped offering to help, which in the long run was ineffective because I could probably use all the help I can get right now. So I decided to create some new beliefs around it.

1) Letting go of the need to control means I am free to fully trust those around me.

2) Everyone has different ways of doing things, we each have our own reasons which make sense to us, my way is not necessarily better, just different.

3) My life will be easier and more relaxed and fun if I let go of control!

4) Having to control things means that there is a judgment there of how others will do things. I want to live my life as judgment free as possible.

I would love to hear your stories about the things that you feel the need to control in your own lives.

With love,

Trust

From: Kim


Trust.

I dive the ocean of my being

Through the waves I wrestle leaving

Wanting not what is the blue

Of my ocean… of my true

A twisting body weaving round

So lost in mind not touching ground

Waves breaking through to carry me

I push and pull… I cannot see

Its only when I trust the waves

That then the ocean justly saves

Carrying me right through blue

Guiding me in all… I do

My ocean is my greatest journey

Embracing lifts the constant turning

Trust these waves, and seize the knowledge

Of my ocean, my waves acknowledged

A dream come true

From Gaby:Last weekend Gerd Winkler Son-Rise teacher came to our house for an Out-Reach. Having met him last year for the first time, Tybalt this time greeted him enthusiastically and told him all about his favorite Characters (disney cars ). Gerd didn’t understand that Mater one of the cars figures could take on another figure then the tow truck. Tybalt therefore went to get a book for him in order to show him pictures of Mater. After that we went into the playroom where we played a wonderful game of making spaghetti with meatballs. Tybalt was flexible in going with Gerd’s suggestions and he even waited his turn to talk when Gerd asked him to. When Gerd and I left the play room he told me that Tybalt was ready to go out of the playroom and into the real world. It was only one hour after the beginning of our two day Out Reach and the impact of Gerd’s words made me quiet dazed as they rung in my ears. For years I dreamt of this moment but when it came I was taken by surprise.
For 6 years we have been running a full time son-rise program and I have loved doing it. Enjoying the journey as we say, but still we always had the goal of being able to put Tybalt in a school and being able to make friends. This day has now arrived.
To now change our life’s is a daunting thought and Gerd helped me by dialoging me. Excited I decided to discover beliefs and change a belief that would otherwise hold Tybalt’s progress back. Letting go of Tybalt after being so intensely involved in his life is a big step. It’s one of joy but none the less I’m grateful for the dialogue helping me to embrace this new step fearlessly. For 6 years we have shared intense and amazing moments together in a way that only this program can offer. Realizing how our lives will now change is like taking an airplane and going to live in a different part of the world. All new and exciting.
As the change will also be a big step for Tybalt, we will start with introducing him to places like the museum once or twice a week and then spending the next days talking about what we saw. These outings will be carefully planned so that he will be able to handle them easier. We will be doing some home schooling, but we will also try to see how it goes if he goes to a small school for a few hours a week. It may still be too early for these changes, we will wait and see. Gerd thinks Tybalt is ready but Tybalt will let us know by how he reacts to the new situation.
Gerd advised us to only introduce things appropriate for a boy his age. This meant throwing away all the books, toys and dvd’s that weren’t age appropriate. It actually meant throwing half of his stuff away. A few team members helped me with this chore. We made it into an important moment as I explained to Tybalt we were doing this because he had become such a big boy. I also bought an exciting boys book and dvd which he loves.
When I think back to when we began the program I see a small boy who didn’t speak and either spent his days running around for hours on end without heading others or hiding under the sofa coming out only for food or the tv. Now 6 years later and almost 12 years old he talks, asks us all kind of questions and loves being in the company of people. What a difference. Where would we have been if Samaria and Bears didn’t get Raun and hadn’t started the institute. As I write this I know that somewhere on this earth is an other Son-Rise child playing in his playroom. 24 hours a day there is always somewhere on this planet a Son-Rise child working with his volunteer to come out of his autism into our world. We are all united by our special children. We support each other via facebook and skype. We travelled ( in some cases to the other end of the world ) to help our children. We embrace a loving and accepting attitude. For hours on end we join our children in isms. How amazing is that!
As our journey changes I want to thank Bears, Samaria and all the staff of the Autism Treatment Center of America. I will always be eternally grateful to you. We are not there yet, we still have an exciting journey ahead . As Tybalt steps into the real world I know that Son-Rise will always be a part of our life as that’s the way we breath. It has changed our world, our personality and look on life. It has brought many wonderful people into our lives. I also want to thank all the extraordinary people who have helped Tybalt by working with him in the playroom. They will continue to help us as the journey progresses and share in our joy. These people have become a part of our family and we love them dearly. Where would we have been if it weren’t for them.
Thank you

My Child Likes to Draw!

FROM BECKY: We have a beautiful four year old boy here at The Autism Treatment Center of America this week. His amazing family have come all the way from Vancouver, Canada to do an intensive program.

This morning, I had the pleasure of observing this boy's Father playing with him in The Son-Rise Program playroom. During the 15 minutes that I watched this boy and his Father, he was mostly engaged in a game of drawing and writing different words and pictures on paper. At times he would be exclusive as he did this for a few seconds at a time but was mostly talking to his Father, taking his Dad's hand to have him draw different things and also paying attention to what his Dad was drawing.

What was missing from this activity was a deep level of connection, two people really focusing in on each other in a strongly interactive and personal way. If your child likes to draw with you and is including you in this activity but is not really looking or connecting to you with a depth of quality and is more absorbed in the drawing than relating to you, here are some ways you can help them work that social muscle.

1) Build yourself into the activity.
Make yourself more animated and something that your child can focus in on as you draw. For example, if you are drawing an apple, pretend to take a bite of that apple and exclaim, "It's delicious!". Stand up with your marker and back across then room, build up anticipation as you come in slowly to draw some fireworks. Try drawing a funny face and then pulling the same face yourself for your child in an entertaining way. This will help bring the attention on to people as opposed to you being a vessel with which to draw for your child.

2) Ask for eye contact!
When your child is motivated to have you draw the next thing, request them to look in your eyes so that you know they are talking to you and not the paper.

3) Help them participate in a physical way.
Try asking them to pick the next color to draw with or flying to the shelf with you to get the next piece of paper.

4) Position yourself, opposite them and slightly lower then their eye level if you can.
Give them a bit of distance as versus being next to them. behind them or really close to them.

All of these ideas will help your child to look at you more, motivate them lengthen their interactive attention span, inspire them be more invested in connecting to you and to relating to people in a deeper, richer way.

Have fun!

Mind over body

From Amanda:

Good morning Son-Rise Program parents,

I am writing to you live from the Autism Treatment Center of America in Sheffield, Massachusetts; home of the Son-Rise Program. Today, I wanted to share a personal experience with you, as a way to inspire and motivate you when you feel as though you are allowing your aching body to get in the way of going into the playroom with your child.

Nearly 10 months ago, I developed a condition in my shoulders called Adhesive Capsulitis, otherwise known as "frozen shoulder". This is a painful condition in which the capsule around the shoulder joint becomes inflamed and then tightens. the body then responds to this condition as an injury. The capsule then grows fibrous tissue which adheres the joint to the shoulder causing one to lose much of the mobility in the shoulder joint. IT IS REALLY PAINFUL.

Why am I telling you this? Well, because I am a child facilitator at the Autism Treatment Center of America and this injury dramatically impacted the way I worked with children in the playroom. you see,I wanted to facilitate "as I always did" as a way show them how much I love them. I wanted to reach my hands in the air and shout; I wanted to roll on the ground and laugh. I wanted to do all of the amazing things I did before my shoulders developed this disease. I was no longer able to be as physical in the room as I had been in the past so I adopted the belief that I shouldn't go into the playroom. My shoulders did not impact the way I facilitated; it was my attitude.

When my shoulders began to hurt, I did unhappiness around the idea that I wouldn't be able to do the physical things I d when I was in the playroom before they hurt. I was attached the idea that if I couldn't be with our children in a 100% physically well manner, then that meant I couldn't be with them at all. Boy was I wrong!

I soon figured out that my body didn't have to work like a well oiled machine. To join a child as a way to show them I love them, void of all judgments, I don't have to be perfect. That isn't what matters most when I work with a child. The Son-Rise Program attitude of love and acceptance is the core of being with our amazing children in the playroom. I didn't have an injury in my mind that prevented me from doing this, so I just needed an attitude adjustment.

I decided to drop my old belief of not being able to be with our children due to my injury, and adopted a new belief that I am fully capable and absolutely solid in the playroom with our children. I decided I could give then as much as any facilitator, just in a different way. If a child wants me to hold them upside down, I let them know I will do this for them, but I will have to use the ball to help me because of my shoulders. When a child is throwing their hands in the air as they ism with excitement, I ism with excitement and throw my hands part way in the air. I always offer an alternative if there is something I can't give the child, and because I am doing this from a place a love, it is always effective.

So, if you have physical limitations, know that you can still be an effective facilitator in the playroom. An amazing facilitator in the playroom. Trust me, your child will feel your love!

with love from, Amanda

Beautiful Ismer's

From: Brandi Davis

This is a poem that I am dedicating to a wonderful little boy from our Intensive Program last week at the Autism Treatment Center of America. I joined him for over an hour and it was a wonderful experience!

He breathed in deeply as if to inhale the world

then he twirled his chew toy with perfect purpose.

No need to rehearse this as our movements raised with grace

my watch flapping and his arm slapping in sync before our face.

Steady stares not breaking time

two poets writing their exclusive rhymes

this moment no longer his or mine

as our lights merged into one magnificent shine.

Singing in silence

we are fine

we are fine

perfectly fine.

No place to be as I became him and he became me

feeling free

being free

one heart beating in the chest of loves infinity.

Simple as "ABC".

Hello Everyone,

I am posting this blog from Argentina, where I have been doing outreaching with the most amazing and inspiring Son-Rise Program families! To Matias, Julia and Franco I send you my love, kisses and admiration for working so hard and making so many changes!  I will blog later about my experiences here, but first I am posting this weeks video blog.

Click on the video below from The Autism Treatment center of America for some awesome game ideas using your child's motivation of the "ABC's".

Physical Participation in Interactions

FROM BECKY: A wonderful and helpful way to help your child with Autism be more flexible, to create more connection in your interactions and to motivate them to invest more of themselves into your interactions is to give them a PHYSICAL WAY TO PARTICIPATE. This is a stage two flexibility goal in The Son-Rise Program Social Developmental Model.

Here are some ways you can work on this goal:

Sensory/physical games
If your child likes watching bubbles, invite them to dip the bubble wand into the bubble container for you, ask them to pop each bubble or chase them around the room. If it's tickles and chases they crave, pretend to fall over and have them help you up, so you can chase or tickle them again. Maybe they love foot squeezes, request that they give you their foot each time for a new squeeze. If they like rides on your back, create a launch pad out of a chair and have them stand on it each time they want a ride.

Imagination games
If you are playing camping, have them help you light the fire, hold the flashlight for you, or put up the tent. If you are at the beach, they could rub some pretend sun tan lotion in your back, try on different pairs of sunglasses or come for a swim in the ocean with you. If you are cooking, have them stir the soup, pretend to taste it or butter the bread for a sandwich.

Conversations
If your child likes you to tell them repetitious stories of things that have happened, get up and act them out, have them play the parts of different people or go and get props to help you act it out. Have them hold a toy microphone as they speak or hold it for you as you speak. Try bringing an envelope into the playroom with different subjects to talk about, take turns drawing a piece of paper from the envelope.

Have fun physically participating!

Numbers! Numbers! Numbers!

Hello!
From Kate Wilde:

More game ideas brought to you from The Autism Treatment Center of America! We work with many children on the Autism Spectrum who are very motivated by numbers. Click on the video below to see three game ideas using numbers!

Remember to use the Son-Rise Program techniques of introducing the games only when you have a green light from your child, and use the three E's to make your game fun and captivating for your child. If you are excited about the game your child will be more likely to want to play it with you.

Have fun and celebrate every attempt your child makes to play it with you.

An Old Friend!

FROM BECKY: I wanted to share a really meaningful experience I just had working with a beautiful 17 year old girl with Autism. Elizabeth, who I go back a few years with, came to our Son-Rise Program Intensive for the 4th time this week.

I was working with this lovely young lady one on one and I wanted to do something fun and creative together where we could help each other make something. We have this wonderful activity called "Build a Stool" which involves, actually constructing a wooden stool together with screws and a screwdriver.

As soon as I introduced this activity, Elizabeth was interested in it, watching me take each part out of the box as I read the instructions to make sure we had everything we needed for the job. The more I got involved in the activity, the more connected she would get as she smiled and watched we attach the first two legs on to the top of the stool

Next, I encouraged her to participate which she did, by having a go at screwing in one of the screws. She was obviously new to this and couldn't quiet fit the screwdriver into the top of the screw very easily. With lots of celebrations and invitations, she started to get more involved as we assembled the rest of the stool. The whole thing took an hour as we took turns, getting each piece perfect, laughing, looking, occasional words being said between us and having a good old time. She got more and more confident, each time she used the screwdriver and was really giving it some elbow grease by the end. It was so fun!

We had just completed it when Amanda, another Son-Rise Program Child Facilitator came in to do the next session with Elizabeth. We finished off our time together with a couple of high fives and then tried out the stool's sturdiness as we all took tuns to sit on it.

That was the highlight of my day!

10 Tips – Recruit Volunteers for your Son-Rise Program

FROM SIMONE - Before being a Son-Rise Program Mom, I had experience as a teacher, as well as, a trainer for a loyalty marketing agency, so it is no surprise that in my role directing my son's Son-Rise Program, I would be attracted to recruiting and training volunteers. During the six years I have been running my son's Son-Rise Program and actively participating in The Son-Rise Program community around the world, recruiting and training volunteers is an area that gets a lot of discussion. I thought I would share a bit of my experience so far...what has worked or hasn't worked for us, which I thought could be useful to everyone.

BELIEVE that you will find volunteers!
You will hear this word throughout The Son-Rise Program community and it is written in The Son-Rise Program Start-Up Manual, so it should always come first in any of your Son-Rise Program lists: BELIEVE! One might say that “believing I will get volunteers doesn't make any difference if there aren't any out there.” and I say “believing does matter because you cannot find what you’re not looking for. When you don't believe volunteers are out there, you simply will not see potential volunteers all around you, which will lead us to the next point...
Volunteers are not "ready-made".
YOU inspire and motivate your volunteers to be exactly what you want them to be in your child’s Son-Rise Program through your training, your knowledge, your enthusiasm and your feedback. With a dedicated training plan, anyone physically able and committed can be an excellent Son-Rise Program volunteer!

Go for attitude and character…not expertise.
When recruiting a Son-Rise Program volunteer, the least important thing is an extensive curriculum and loads of experience. Actually, in my experience, a volunteer with less experience has been incredibly open to new ideas and to move with your feedback rather than to question The Son-Rise Program principles against their own knowledge, experience and background.

Check your attitude and your beliefs.
It's a wonderful thing that someone wants to volunteer to work with your child and we obviously have all the reason in the world to be grateful to them, but watch out for the belief that you owe them a favor and therefore you must do as they say, because they are helping you. The healthiest way to see the volunteer is that there is a mutual relationship where two entities that come together to learn from this very special child, you are both being enriched by the experience and having the blessing of your relationship too, learning from each other. The best thing you can do for your Son-Rise Program and your child is be assertive as to what you want for your Son-Rise Program and your child and be very clear about the way you want the it to run...without compromises. Being true to yourself and what you want for your child is the best way of being grateful to your volunteers’ commitment and their time.

Become a Son-Rise Program volunteer yourself!
You might say “Well, I hardly have time to run my child’s Son-Rise Program.” By volunteering in another Son-Rise Program, you will see how good it feels to volunteer in a Son-Rise Program playroom and how much can be gained from it. This experience will help you immensely in understanding your volunteers’ perspectives; and in being comfortable and assertive while setting clear expectations for your Son-Rise Program.

Create an atmosphere where people want to come back to you…or most importantly stay.
As part The Son-Rise Program, we have the amazing resource of The Option Process, the philosophy that originated The Son-Rise Program. Some people pay for therapy or counseling sessions to be heard. During the volunteer interview, I present this amazing world of being non-judgmental, respecting each other, being heard and asking non-judgmental questions. I show them that while working for us, they will live that love and acceptance every time they step through the door.

A picture (or a family’s inspiring story) is worth a thousand words.
A fellow Son-Rise Program Mom has developed an application form which explains The Son-Rise Program in detail. You, too, can easily make one to send to future applicants. There are several resources available to help your future volunteers understand what The Son-Rise Program is all about – the website, YouTube videos, testimonials and parents’ stories (endless amazing stories that The Son-Rise Program community can’t get enough of), the Autism Solution video, this blog and The Son-Rise Program’s Facebook Fan page. Recently, a volunteer that I hired told me that she wasn't sure if she wanted to be a part of The Son-Rise Program, but when I gave her a copy of Jade's documentary to watch, she called me the next day saying she really wanted to work with my son. Sometimes pictures speak louder than words!

Look for agencies that can help you find volunteers.
There are innumerous agencies and charities who will help you find volunteers. I find students are always very interested in learning and experimenting. I love drama students because they are so expressive in the playroom and the amount of imagination and improvisation they have to use makes the job very appealing to them. Look for drama schools and see if you can have a demonstration to talk to students. Ask for some time at your church or community center to show a Son-Rise Program video; or hold a street party with treats, music and organize a screening of a Son-Rise Program video; ask your local paper/radio station to put in an ad for you; or post the volunteer position on a job posting website.

A note about “paid” volunteers.
If you would like to pay your volunteers for their time or to help them with their transportation costs, consider doing fundraising to help cover the costs of paying them. Perhaps, if they are students, it would be interesting for them if you paid their tuition to attend The Son-Rise Program sequence or have an Option Process Dialogue with a Certified Option Process Mentor/Counselor.

Embrace your volunteers as your new family!
Welcome your volunteer into your home and create a fun place to be so that they want to come back. You will be investing a lot in their training so you really want them to stay. But how do you train them? Well that is the subject of my next blog...

Have fun looking for volunteers out there and see the potential in everyone. Marvel at the diversity of human beings and learn how enriching it can be to have completely different people in your Son-Rise Program!

I WANT YOUR COMMENTS! Feel free to share any ideas or resources that you’ve discovered to help recruit your volunteers!

Simone

Games Games Games!

Hello!

If your child on the Autism Spectrum loves playing with cars, or any type of vehicle, click on the video below for a new game idea.

Add The Son-Rise Program 3 E's and techniques to create an motivating and exciting game for your child.

You can modify this game in any way to fit your child motivation. If they are not motivated by cars, but are motivated by jumping, you can jump through the maze, or down the roads. If they are motivated for Dora the Explorer, you can plot an adventure through the maze.
With a little bit of creativity this game can be adapted to suite your child.





Have fun with your children
With much love
Kate

Hello,

This weeks video blog from The autism Treatment Center of America demonstrates a few building ideas you can try when reading your child their favorite book.

Just click on the video below.

A Profound Experience with Joining

From Amanda: As you may have heard, the Autism Treatment Center of America has been on the road, visiting various communities as a way to share our knowledge and love for the Son-Rise Program®. On June 21st, I traveled to North Syracuse and spoke at the North Onondaga Public Library where I had a most amazing experience; An experience I will hold close to my heart and never forget.

The content of our lectures takes nearly 1.5 hours to present, and then we open the floor for a question and answer period. After the lecture in North Syracuse, a man raised his hand said, " I am having a really hard time believing in this idea of joining my daughter in her world. Children need education. You mean to tell me that I am supposed to go into her world so she can just stim (ism)more? She is just going to want to stay there forever. I was told to stop her from doing that" I lovingly explained, "I totally understand your concern since you have been told something very different. I will tell you this though, we have been joining children for over 30 years and we have never seen children become more exclusive. We have actually seen quite the opposite; When we join children we notice they are looking more, talking more, playing longer games when they become available, and deepening their connection with us." I then re-explained that joining is a way of bonding through acceptance which in turn builds a connection and a relationship with your child. You get to know your child in a way you may have never known them before. What happened next crystallized my support of joining.

A man,who was sitting in the back of the room throughout the lecture, raised his hand to say something. I noticed him early in the lecture; He was looking off to the side of the room as I spoke,rarely making eye-contact with anyone. He was also shaking his leg in the beginning of the lecture, but stopped as time went on. When I saw his hand up, I immediately called on him, and this is what he said. "I have severe Asperger's, and when I was younger, my mom built me a stimming room so I could go there anytime I wanted and stim if I needed to. I think that it's because of my stim room that I was able to do so well growing up. I live on my own and drive a car." The room was still as he spoke. The man, who said he was "having a hard time believing this idea," smiled as he listened, while his wife who was sitting next to him, looked at her husband and said, "See." I then asked the young Asperger's man a question. "What do you think that room would have been like if you had another person in there with you, loving the things you loved." He replied, " I think it would have been really cool."

This moment for me, was the most profound moment I have had since I began my journey with the Son-Rise Program®. I had certainly witnessed first hand the power of joining and how it leads to more connection and social interaction, but I had never heard it spoken in this way from the person who does the isming. There was nothing more to say; Nothing more to question; Nothing more to doubt from anyone in the room. This was the plain truth spoken from a man who knows.

So, if you are in the playroom with your child and you begin to doubt the effectiveness of joining, think about what this young man had said. "I think that it's because of my stim room that I was able to do so well growing up," and how he believes it would have been "cool," to have someone with him doing what he loved to do.

With love, Amanda

How do I know what my child is motivated for?

FROM BECKY: This is such an important question if you have a child with autism. In fact, if you have a child that you want to support and teach, MOTIVATION is the number one learning tool that you can use to help them. There are few forces more powerful than a motivated child or adult. It's actually very easy to figure out what your child is motivated for if you know how to look.

1) What does your child do when they are on their own?
Take some time to observe your child when they are hanging out around the house. Do they watch the ceiling fan? Do they talk about Lightning McQueen? Do they balance on the window sill? Perhaps they hum a certain tune over and over again? Maybe they crawl underneath the couch cushions? if you take 15-20 minutes to watch them you will find a mine of information to work with. For example, if my child watches the ceiling fan or the washing machine, then they are motivated for visual stimulation and things that spin. If they talk about lightening McQueen then they like characters from movies and possibly slapstick humor. If they walk along a thin window sill then it's physical activity and balancing they like, if they hum, they like music and singing and rhythm and if they hide in the couch cushions they are motivated for small spaces and pressure on their bodies).

2) Be a detective!
When you are working one to one with your child in The Son-Rise Program, try doing different actions or introducing different objects and see what their response is, look at their face and body and see what they like and what they don't like. If I sing a song and my child stops what they are doing and looks at me more, then singing is a motivation. If I pretend to fall over and they giggle, they like silliness and big, physical movements. If I blow bubbles and they completely ignore me then bubbles is not their thing right now. If I impersonate cookie monster and they turn away and do something else then that doesn't do it for them either. It's all a big experiment!

3) What is their personality like? Is your child controlling?
If they are then they may enjoy cause and affect style games where they get to control what you do (e.g. they press a button on your nose and you do a fake sneeze). If they tend to like to know what's happening that day (e.g. they ask when the trash truck is coming or what happens next in a story) again and again, then play games with a structure to them like a step by step list of how to be a pirate. If they are an affectionate physical child, then create tickle, squeeze and hug games.

Have fun following these guidelines and being a motivation scout!