Friday, April 30, 2010
Enjoying Every Minute With Your Child
There is great excitement in our house this weekend as Iron Man 2 is out and Tom is so excited to go and see it the movie tomorrow....it just makes me really smile as I hear him chatter on about the movie and so appreciate how far Tom has come in his Son-Rise Program. When we first started his Son-Rise Program he found going out very difficult and would get very anxious going to places like the cinema which were dark and had lots of people in there and now to see him just so wanting to do all these things that his peers are now doing is amazing and really makes Andy and I appreciate the journey Tom has been on with the help of so many wonderful people including our family, volunteers and of course all the staff at ATCA. By the way Tom was chatting to Jack, Son-Rise Child Facilitator, last night and I explained to Tom that Jack had just got back from the States and Tom asked Jack on the phone 'Did you meet Robert Downey Jr?' (AKA IronMan), so funny. x
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Love Only Exists in the Present Moment
FROM WILLIAM: Woow, I have just had the great fortune of sitting in on a number of classes of the Wide Awake program, taught exclusively and so wonderfully by Bears. In this program individuals, couples, Son-Rise Program Parents, etc. come together for a week to deepen their sense of love and acceptance and passion for action.
One of the idea's that I walked away with is the notion that the FEELING of love can only exist in the present moment. If I remember a time when I was loving then I am just having a memory of it - this is not a feeling of love - this is a thought about having been loving.
I can choose to give myself a feeling of love right here and now. And right now. And right now. Etc. The gift to yourself and the world is to keep deciding to feel love in each moment, no matter what is happening around you. One way to do this is to remove your judgments and all you are left with is a feeling of love.
Give yourself an Option Process dialogue, attend a program, read a book, listen to a CD or watch a DVD on the Option Process or The Son-Rise Program. Use what you have to help yourself feel more comfortable and more loving.
Love and Smiles
William
One of the idea's that I walked away with is the notion that the FEELING of love can only exist in the present moment. If I remember a time when I was loving then I am just having a memory of it - this is not a feeling of love - this is a thought about having been loving.
I can choose to give myself a feeling of love right here and now. And right now. And right now. Etc. The gift to yourself and the world is to keep deciding to feel love in each moment, no matter what is happening around you. One way to do this is to remove your judgments and all you are left with is a feeling of love.
Give yourself an Option Process dialogue, attend a program, read a book, listen to a CD or watch a DVD on the Option Process or The Son-Rise Program. Use what you have to help yourself feel more comfortable and more loving.
Love and Smiles
William
More About Conversations!
FROM BECKY: Show them how it's done! Modelling how to use language in a communicative and appropriate way is a clear and visual example for your children to process and learn how to do it for themselves.
Yesterday, I was working with my good friend David who I volunteer with. I was doing a dual session with another Son-Rise Child Facilitator (Holly Balls). The game that David was playing with us was swing ride in a blanket. He would easily come out with "Ride" and "Swing Ride" whenever we would stop the game, even though he is very capable of saying a longer sentence (e.g. "I want swing ride", "Give me a swing ride", etc).
Right now, one of David's interests is drawings of cut out paper animals. To help him with his spontaneous language, Holly and I took one of the paper animals and swung it in a piece paper to act as a blanket. We gave the animal several rides as David watched and then in a comical voice we had the animal say "I want swing ride", to which we cheered and immediately gave another ride to this paper animal.
Then we turned to David who was sitting in the blanket ready for a ride, with that, David then came out with "I want swing ride". He did this all by himself purely by watching the whole process being modelled by one of his friends, the paper animal.
This also works with conversational skills. Experiment with modelling to your child how to have a conversation. Try using puppets, figurines, and even another family member/Facilitator as you are transitioning in and out of the playroom.
Have fun!
Yesterday, I was working with my good friend David who I volunteer with. I was doing a dual session with another Son-Rise Child Facilitator (Holly Balls). The game that David was playing with us was swing ride in a blanket. He would easily come out with "Ride" and "Swing Ride" whenever we would stop the game, even though he is very capable of saying a longer sentence (e.g. "I want swing ride", "Give me a swing ride", etc).
Right now, one of David's interests is drawings of cut out paper animals. To help him with his spontaneous language, Holly and I took one of the paper animals and swung it in a piece paper to act as a blanket. We gave the animal several rides as David watched and then in a comical voice we had the animal say "I want swing ride", to which we cheered and immediately gave another ride to this paper animal.
Then we turned to David who was sitting in the blanket ready for a ride, with that, David then came out with "I want swing ride". He did this all by himself purely by watching the whole process being modelled by one of his friends, the paper animal.
This also works with conversational skills. Experiment with modelling to your child how to have a conversation. Try using puppets, figurines, and even another family member/Facilitator as you are transitioning in and out of the playroom.
Have fun!
Spreading the Word About Son-Rise
FROM AMANDA: Good morning world! I am reporting to you Live from the Autism Treatment Center of America, and this is The Son-Rise Program. WOW! Wouldn't it be great if we woke up each morning as if we were on a radio show to spread the word to the rest of the world of how wonderful and amazing the Son-Rise Program really is? Well, while it might be unlikely for most of us to host our own radio show, it is not impossible to spread the word and share what we know about the Son-Rise Program.
Two weekends ago, I went to the Long Island Autism Fair in New York and set up a vendor booth with all kinds of information about the Autism Treatment Center of America. I met many wonderful people at this fair, but there were two people in particular, who stood out in my mind. The person running the both behind mine also happened to be the one of the guest speakers at the fair. He introduced himself to me and then inquired about our program. I shared my wonderful experiences as a Child Facilitator and also shared the details of how the Son-Rise Program is run, and why I feel it is so wonderful. We ended our conversation and he went on about his day.
Later that day, he brought his 11 year old, Autistic son over to my table and introduced him to me. I shook his hand and gave him a huge, loving smile. This boy had the most amazing eyes, so even though I wasn't in the playroom, I celebrated him for looking at me and told him how happy I was to have met him. He gave me a gigantic smile and walked off with his father to meet more people, and then sat down at the table behind me.
As I stood at my table and talked to people, I noticed the boy I had just met, was quietly sitting at the table rocking back and forth to a rhythm all his own. Once the crowd slowed down , I walked over to the child and showed him a bottle of bubbles I had in my hand and began to some. He looked excited and began to pop a few. He wanted my jar of bubbles so I decided to give him his own jar, and we began to blow bubbles together. We only had few minutes to interact, but time didn't matter because there was a clear connection. We interacted with one another through out the day as became good friends.
As I was cleaning up my table area at the end of the day, the boy's father offered to help me. When I told him how appreciative I was, he said "This is the least I can do. My son was really taken by you and he doesn't usually take to people easily. " As he said this, I looked at him with a smile and said "That my friend, is the Son-rise Program." The man then leaned down and proceeded to sign his name on a sheet to sign up for initial calls. We continued to talk more about the Son-Rise Program and parted ways.
When I "showed-up" at the fair, I could have sat down in a chair and waited for people to come to me to get information about the Son-Rise Program. But, I chose to do it differently. I decided to stand at my table all day and interact and connect with the people walking by. I was excited, enthusiastic, and loving every minute of my time.I was blowing bubbles, laughing, and showing the true spirit of the Son-Rise Program even though I wasn't in the playroom.
You can do it too! Share your experiences of the Son-Rise Program with people in your life! Love them! Laugh with them! and show your excitement to the world! Son-Rise is a lifestyle that can be practiced both in and out of the playroom.
Two weekends ago, I went to the Long Island Autism Fair in New York and set up a vendor booth with all kinds of information about the Autism Treatment Center of America. I met many wonderful people at this fair, but there were two people in particular, who stood out in my mind. The person running the both behind mine also happened to be the one of the guest speakers at the fair. He introduced himself to me and then inquired about our program. I shared my wonderful experiences as a Child Facilitator and also shared the details of how the Son-Rise Program is run, and why I feel it is so wonderful. We ended our conversation and he went on about his day.
Later that day, he brought his 11 year old, Autistic son over to my table and introduced him to me. I shook his hand and gave him a huge, loving smile. This boy had the most amazing eyes, so even though I wasn't in the playroom, I celebrated him for looking at me and told him how happy I was to have met him. He gave me a gigantic smile and walked off with his father to meet more people, and then sat down at the table behind me.
As I stood at my table and talked to people, I noticed the boy I had just met, was quietly sitting at the table rocking back and forth to a rhythm all his own. Once the crowd slowed down , I walked over to the child and showed him a bottle of bubbles I had in my hand and began to some. He looked excited and began to pop a few. He wanted my jar of bubbles so I decided to give him his own jar, and we began to blow bubbles together. We only had few minutes to interact, but time didn't matter because there was a clear connection. We interacted with one another through out the day as became good friends.
As I was cleaning up my table area at the end of the day, the boy's father offered to help me. When I told him how appreciative I was, he said "This is the least I can do. My son was really taken by you and he doesn't usually take to people easily. " As he said this, I looked at him with a smile and said "That my friend, is the Son-rise Program." The man then leaned down and proceeded to sign his name on a sheet to sign up for initial calls. We continued to talk more about the Son-Rise Program and parted ways.
When I "showed-up" at the fair, I could have sat down in a chair and waited for people to come to me to get information about the Son-Rise Program. But, I chose to do it differently. I decided to stand at my table all day and interact and connect with the people walking by. I was excited, enthusiastic, and loving every minute of my time.I was blowing bubbles, laughing, and showing the true spirit of the Son-Rise Program even though I wasn't in the playroom.
You can do it too! Share your experiences of the Son-Rise Program with people in your life! Love them! Laugh with them! and show your excitement to the world! Son-Rise is a lifestyle that can be practiced both in and out of the playroom.
The Parent - The Pillar of the Son-Rise Program
FROM SIMONE - One of the Son-Rise Program's principles is that the Parent is the child's best resource. No one knows the child better than the parent, no professional or teacher, and no one loves the child in a more unconditional way than the parent.
I personally love this principle because being in the autistic spectrum myself I think I have a very good insight of how my child might feel in an unique way and I have often disagreed with doctors and teachers in regard to what was better for my son, before I learnt of his diagnosis and found the Son-Rise Program, so it is fair to say that as soon I learnt this principle it was my main motivation to run a Son-Rise Program for my son.
Being a Son-Rise Mum, in my opinion, is more than training volunteers, holding group meetings, filling up forms and applying the techniques, it's a whole way of life, it has become not just my job, my career, but the way I run my life. Authorities might argue it is not a job as I receive no payment for the "services" I offer, but that is because they live in a bureaucratic world, I live in a world of my choice, a world where friends don't judge each other, where friends love first and act second, where actions come from a place of love. In this world being a Son-Rise Mum or Dad is like being the President of a company, busy, yes, but highly gratifying, my payment is being able to connect to my son, being his friend, having him spontaneously seek my affection without prompt.
I thought I would share some tips on how I manage my busy Son-Rise Mom life that has helped me along the years with you:
I personally love this principle because being in the autistic spectrum myself I think I have a very good insight of how my child might feel in an unique way and I have often disagreed with doctors and teachers in regard to what was better for my son, before I learnt of his diagnosis and found the Son-Rise Program, so it is fair to say that as soon I learnt this principle it was my main motivation to run a Son-Rise Program for my son.
Being a Son-Rise Mum, in my opinion, is more than training volunteers, holding group meetings, filling up forms and applying the techniques, it's a whole way of life, it has become not just my job, my career, but the way I run my life. Authorities might argue it is not a job as I receive no payment for the "services" I offer, but that is because they live in a bureaucratic world, I live in a world of my choice, a world where friends don't judge each other, where friends love first and act second, where actions come from a place of love. In this world being a Son-Rise Mum or Dad is like being the President of a company, busy, yes, but highly gratifying, my payment is being able to connect to my son, being his friend, having him spontaneously seek my affection without prompt.
I thought I would share some tips on how I manage my busy Son-Rise Mom life that has helped me along the years with you:
- Take care of yourself: It might sound as a selfish proposition but if you don't function your Program doesn't function. I visit a homeopath once a month and keep up-to-date with my health, I don't wait for being ill to see a doctor. I eat loads of vegetables and fruit, no red meat, dairy, gluten, honey instead of sugar and limit the amount of starch like potatoes and rice I have. It's amazing the amount of energy I gained by having a tuna or salmon salad for lunch instead of a sandwich. It has beaten the "after lunch" drowsiness that I thought before were just "normal" for everyone. You would be also inspiring your children to eat healthily by example and making it easier for you to prepare just one type of meal.
- Exercise: As it is hard to leave home I bought videos of Pilate's, exercises with the gym ball but whatever you do create a routine, stipulate a schedule, that's how I am able to write to you on this blog, I established that I would do it on a particular day at a particular time. Always consult your doctor before embarking in any exercise routine or diet, every person is different.
- Research: There's a wealth of information in this website you can learn from, keep researching, there's always something to learn.
- Top up your 3E's: We all remember how we felt once we did the Start-Up, the energy, the buzz, create an intention to top up your 3E's by reading Bears (Barry Neil Kaufman) books, reading the messages in his Facebook page, getting in touch with other Parents on the Son-Rise Message Board, keep in touch with the other participants who shared Son-Rise Programs with you, people who do Son-Rise in your area, perhaps you can share volunteers, book outreaches with Certified Son-Rise Facilitators or Teachers or attend Adult Programs at the Option Institute in Massachusetts. Whatever you decide to do just make sure your information is coming from certified sources who will give you the best information to inspire yourself and your child. I created a fun routine to remind me about topping up my 3E's, I leave my mobile or cellphone without charge up to the point where an alarm sounds informing me it needs to be charged and use that reminder as my 3E's top up call and I go and read an article in this blog or a chapter of a book from Bears (Barry Neil Kaufman) or listen to an audio tape.
- Last but not least have fun! I imagine myself to have the best job in the world, playing with my child, inspiring other people to connect with my child in the most loving way, it is fun, it involves what I actually studied for, I graduated in advertising, I was a copywriter, a creative person, and that is what I do I have ideas on how to sell myself, people, to my child, how to make myself so appealing that my child will want to interact with me and I get to do that everyday without having to leave my child in a creche and not following his growth. What I mean is whatever you did in your life before being a Son-Rise Parent don't think "I am putting my life on hold until my child gets better" but think instead this is my life, it's a wonderful place to be at, it's a challenging, refreshing job and I love doing!
Wishing loads of fun in your playrooms and your Son-Rise lives
Simone
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
I'm Coming to Get You!
FROM KATRINA: Hey fantastic friends, [to be read in a sales man voice] Looking to add more spice to your games? Do you want them to be more exciting, last longer, with more eye contact? Then have I got a technique for you! Now introducing..........anticipation!
Hmmm, great word, but what does it mean? The actual definition of the word is "pleasurable expectation". In the Son-Rise program we use anticipation to make games more exciting. You probably do it to some extent already. Think of how if you might do a funny sneeze for your child. You don't just say "achoo", you really get into it and say "ahh-ahhh-ahh-chooooooo", you draw it out to give them that extra bit of motivation.
Now try doing that with all of your games. For instance, imagine a tickle game with your child. You tickle them for awhile until they are really giggling, how do you make the game even more exciting? Try running across the room and then slowly moving toward them saying "I'm coming to tickle you", can't you just see your child's face glowing with - you guessed it - anticipation. Then try crawling across the floor towards your child wiggling your fingers by your eyes. Maybe hide behind a door and then pop out and run to get them. Try using the "Jaws" theme song and say "do do" faster and faster until you tickle them. There are so many ways to add in a little anticipation.
Try using any of these techniques with any game and watch the fun unfold!
Wishing you ...(drumroll)... a lot of excitement!
Love,
Katrina
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Conversation Skills - Take 6
FROM BECKY: Hi Wonderful Ones! Here are some ideas about celebrations of language when working on conversational skills with your child.
1) Celebrate the social aspect when you are conversing with your child. Many of the children and adults I have worked with at The Autism Treatment Center of America have the mechanics of language down to a fine art. They wouldn't be able to repeat whole scenes from their favorite movie if they couldn't. So when your child is taking part in a conversation with you, specifically highlight the fact that they chose to share something with you or ask you a question.
2) Explain that part of being a friend is to tell each other about yourselves and to be curious about each other. Most of our children are motivated to have friends, they simply have a challenge knowing how to be with them.
3) Experiment with collective celebrations but do keep celebrating. Often we can tend to drop the celebrations when our children have many words. Our children do not have to talk to us. The fact that they did is still meaningful and wonderful so let's demonstrate that to them.
I would love to know how it goes.
1) Celebrate the social aspect when you are conversing with your child. Many of the children and adults I have worked with at The Autism Treatment Center of America have the mechanics of language down to a fine art. They wouldn't be able to repeat whole scenes from their favorite movie if they couldn't. So when your child is taking part in a conversation with you, specifically highlight the fact that they chose to share something with you or ask you a question.
2) Explain that part of being a friend is to tell each other about yourselves and to be curious about each other. Most of our children are motivated to have friends, they simply have a challenge knowing how to be with them.
3) Experiment with collective celebrations but do keep celebrating. Often we can tend to drop the celebrations when our children have many words. Our children do not have to talk to us. The fact that they did is still meaningful and wonderful so let's demonstrate that to them.
I would love to know how it goes.
Monday, April 26, 2010
A Game Idea: A Fun Spin on Writing and Drawing
FROM KATE:Hello everyone! Here is another fun game idea for you - this time to help your children with attention span while also incorporating writing and drawing skills. Let this be an inspiration for your playrooms - and have a wonderful week with your children.
Love to all of you,
Kate
Love to all of you,
Kate
Every New Day Holds Magical Lessons
FROM BRANDI: Chapter from the Son-Rise Program
Last week I had the pleasure of playing with a wonderful 11 year old girl in our Son-Rise Intensive Playroom. Looking back I am filled with an endless amount of gratitude for the experiences that we shared together. She was a gracious teacher who guided me through each powerful moment and patiently allowed me to follow her lead.
When I walked into the playroom she was standing on the table with big brown eyes and a contagious smile. She sang a familiar melody that I also loved singing as a child. I laughed with delight as she sang "Jingle Bells," with a look of sheer happiness on her face. I immediately began singing this with her as she touched my cheek and watched me sing.
Throughout the week I used "Jingle Bells," to inspire more eye contact and as the week progressed I saw more and more of those beautiful brown eyes. During our time together I believed that loving this song was the same as loving her.
At the end of the week I brought in my guitar and sang "Jingle Bells." I grew my love for this song so big that I couldn't imagine singing anything else. She sat on the slide swaying back and forth while tapping her foot. It was then that she taught me in a huge way the beauty of looking into another's eyes with purpose and love.
We stared into each others eyes for 45 seconds straight without looking away while I sang. Until that moment I had not looked into another persons eyes for that amount of time with such purpose. She taught me how much can be said and felt with our eyes alone. How amazing!!!!! My beautiful new friend ended up facilitating me!!! Let me know what your Son-Rise children teach you this week. Every day that passes they are sharing magical lessons with us all : )
Last week I had the pleasure of playing with a wonderful 11 year old girl in our Son-Rise Intensive Playroom. Looking back I am filled with an endless amount of gratitude for the experiences that we shared together. She was a gracious teacher who guided me through each powerful moment and patiently allowed me to follow her lead.
When I walked into the playroom she was standing on the table with big brown eyes and a contagious smile. She sang a familiar melody that I also loved singing as a child. I laughed with delight as she sang "Jingle Bells," with a look of sheer happiness on her face. I immediately began singing this with her as she touched my cheek and watched me sing.
Throughout the week I used "Jingle Bells," to inspire more eye contact and as the week progressed I saw more and more of those beautiful brown eyes. During our time together I believed that loving this song was the same as loving her.
At the end of the week I brought in my guitar and sang "Jingle Bells." I grew my love for this song so big that I couldn't imagine singing anything else. She sat on the slide swaying back and forth while tapping her foot. It was then that she taught me in a huge way the beauty of looking into another's eyes with purpose and love.
We stared into each others eyes for 45 seconds straight without looking away while I sang. Until that moment I had not looked into another persons eyes for that amount of time with such purpose. She taught me how much can be said and felt with our eyes alone. How amazing!!!!! My beautiful new friend ended up facilitating me!!! Let me know what your Son-Rise children teach you this week. Every day that passes they are sharing magical lessons with us all : )
Friday, April 23, 2010
Language is Possible at Any Age!
FROM KATRINA: Recently I talked to the mother of an eight year old boy whom I worked with years ago in a different capacity before I had been blessed to learn of the amazing Son-Rise program. As I talked with her she told me her son was "still not talking", and I told her..."he can." She started crying, she was so happy to have someone just believe in her son.
Not only do I believe that children who have never spoken, can... I see it every day of my life. Children making obvious attempts at language with their parents when they hadn't before, children saying new words for the first time ever, children speaking deliberately and being excited that someone is listening. I sometimes forget how amazing it is, because I see it constantly. I am here to tell you, speaking at any age is possible!!! And not only for children, I've seen it and heard stories with adults as well. There is no age limit on language!!!!
One of the most important techniques in getting your child to talk, is believing that they can in the first place! Then open your ears. Often times parents will come to the Autism Treatment Center of America to our intensive saying their child has 0 words and we hear them straight away. Once you believe your child can speak and you listen to what they are saying, you might be surprised to find out they have been communicating to you this whole time!
wishing you all the best!
Love,
Katrina
Not only do I believe that children who have never spoken, can... I see it every day of my life. Children making obvious attempts at language with their parents when they hadn't before, children saying new words for the first time ever, children speaking deliberately and being excited that someone is listening. I sometimes forget how amazing it is, because I see it constantly. I am here to tell you, speaking at any age is possible!!! And not only for children, I've seen it and heard stories with adults as well. There is no age limit on language!!!!
One of the most important techniques in getting your child to talk, is believing that they can in the first place! Then open your ears. Often times parents will come to the Autism Treatment Center of America to our intensive saying their child has 0 words and we hear them straight away. Once you believe your child can speak and you listen to what they are saying, you might be surprised to find out they have been communicating to you this whole time!
wishing you all the best!
Love,
Katrina
A Jingle Bells Hello!
FROM WILLIAM: I have just finished playing with a beautiful 9 yr old girl from India. She is here with her parents taking part in our Son-Rise Program intensive. As I entered the room for the first time she looked into my eyes and continue to do so as she held my hand and proceeded to sing Jingle Bells to me. It was a special moment, her connecting with me and sharing this song that she has sung many times, a song that has helped her in so many different ways. A song that has centered her and created a predictability in her life.
Enjoy your child's world, the world they create to look after themselves. You can even apply this to your partner!
Love and smiles
William
Enjoy your child's world, the world they create to look after themselves. You can even apply this to your partner!
Love and smiles
William
Thursday, April 22, 2010
School or No School?
FROM GERD: A recurring issue when I talk to families from all over the world is whether or not to leave a child in school or pull a child out of school, either when beginning a Son-Rise-Program or considering when to place a child into school or considering running a part-time program.
Following the Son-Rise Developmental Model & Curriculum is very helpful when determining the consideration of school. When a child reaches stages 4-5 in all four fundamentals the steps to take for preparing your child for school are clearly laid out in the Developmental Model. (Download the latest version on the Autism Treatment Center of America website.)
To further help you determine the consideration of school or no school, I want to pass on a few very helpful points.
1) If your child is already in a school setting when you begin your program, it is extremely important that you observe your child in the school environment the entire time that your child is there. One "red flag" is when a school does not allow you to observe or allows you only to observe a certain segment. Insist on watching the entire time, the life of your child depends on it. Play "bug on the wall" and quietly take detailed notes in a way that you don't present a distraction for you child. It is most effective to observe class room time, recess, lunch time and/or any other circumstances like Speech therapy sessions etc.
2) Bring a precise watch or clock so that you can time exactly how much and how often your child makes eye contact with the teacher/aide or with other children present.
3) How often and for how long is your child left "idle" or left to his/her own devices without getting any attention?
4) For how long and how often is your child given quality 1:1 attention?
5) When given attention, are any requests made of your child against his/her will?
Are the requests made at the level of your child's ability/or needs or do you hear the same old "what color is this?" questions, knowing that your child has know his/her colors for a long time.
6) How many times and how often does your child hear the phrases "no...you can't do this...don't touch that"...etc?
7) When another child approaches your child or vice versa, is social interaction encouraged or discouraged? Is someone present for the social interaction, helping and guiding both children?
8) When your child takes care of him/herself by isming, how do teachers/aides respond to it? Is your child allowed to ism, does someone join your child? Is your child given "time out" while isming?
9) When your child verbally communicates or expresses his/her wants, or raises his/her hand in order to participate, is your child responded to with excitement and enthusiasm? When your child is giving the "wrong" or "incorrect" answer, is your child encouraged to try again, or just ignored?
10) Are the teachers/aides flexible enough when your child changes the subject or either wants to continue or stop an activity, or is your child "pushed" to move on with the rest of the class?
It has been the experience of many families when following these guidelines that it became self-evident and self-revealing whether or not the school setting/environment is suitable for their children. In the end most families knew without a doubt what was the best for their child and they felt clearer, more confident, well informed and more comfortable making their decision.
Remember the Son-Rise Program is not only a child-centered program, but also a parent-directed program.
YOU the PARENT(S) are the best experts on YOUR CHILD and on what is the most motivating environment for YOUR CHILD.
YOU the PARENT(S) are calling the shots when it comes to where and how you want to work with YOUR CHILD. Take charge, stand up for what YOU want. You can only be intimidated when you let yourself be intimidated. Seeing with your own eyes and listening with your own ears are the most reliable tools to determine what meets the needs of YOUR CHILD.
ALL THE POWER TO THE PARENT(S).
Following the Son-Rise Developmental Model & Curriculum is very helpful when determining the consideration of school. When a child reaches stages 4-5 in all four fundamentals the steps to take for preparing your child for school are clearly laid out in the Developmental Model. (Download the latest version on the Autism Treatment Center of America website.)
To further help you determine the consideration of school or no school, I want to pass on a few very helpful points.
1) If your child is already in a school setting when you begin your program, it is extremely important that you observe your child in the school environment the entire time that your child is there. One "red flag" is when a school does not allow you to observe or allows you only to observe a certain segment. Insist on watching the entire time, the life of your child depends on it. Play "bug on the wall" and quietly take detailed notes in a way that you don't present a distraction for you child. It is most effective to observe class room time, recess, lunch time and/or any other circumstances like Speech therapy sessions etc.
2) Bring a precise watch or clock so that you can time exactly how much and how often your child makes eye contact with the teacher/aide or with other children present.
3) How often and for how long is your child left "idle" or left to his/her own devices without getting any attention?
4) For how long and how often is your child given quality 1:1 attention?
5) When given attention, are any requests made of your child against his/her will?
Are the requests made at the level of your child's ability/or needs or do you hear the same old "what color is this?" questions, knowing that your child has know his/her colors for a long time.
6) How many times and how often does your child hear the phrases "no...you can't do this...don't touch that"...etc?
7) When another child approaches your child or vice versa, is social interaction encouraged or discouraged? Is someone present for the social interaction, helping and guiding both children?
8) When your child takes care of him/herself by isming, how do teachers/aides respond to it? Is your child allowed to ism, does someone join your child? Is your child given "time out" while isming?
9) When your child verbally communicates or expresses his/her wants, or raises his/her hand in order to participate, is your child responded to with excitement and enthusiasm? When your child is giving the "wrong" or "incorrect" answer, is your child encouraged to try again, or just ignored?
10) Are the teachers/aides flexible enough when your child changes the subject or either wants to continue or stop an activity, or is your child "pushed" to move on with the rest of the class?
It has been the experience of many families when following these guidelines that it became self-evident and self-revealing whether or not the school setting/environment is suitable for their children. In the end most families knew without a doubt what was the best for their child and they felt clearer, more confident, well informed and more comfortable making their decision.
Remember the Son-Rise Program is not only a child-centered program, but also a parent-directed program.
YOU the PARENT(S) are the best experts on YOUR CHILD and on what is the most motivating environment for YOUR CHILD.
YOU the PARENT(S) are calling the shots when it comes to where and how you want to work with YOUR CHILD. Take charge, stand up for what YOU want. You can only be intimidated when you let yourself be intimidated. Seeing with your own eyes and listening with your own ears are the most reliable tools to determine what meets the needs of YOUR CHILD.
ALL THE POWER TO THE PARENT(S).
Conversational Skills Take 5
FROM BECKY: The beauty of cliff-hangers! When we our helping our special children with conversational skills, we want to inspire them to be curious and interested in other people so that they will actually want to talk to us.
To strike up a conversation with someone, you have to be motivated and curious in the other person to start with. Our children need a little help with this because they spend a lot of time in their own worlds where they have found things that stimulate them without the need of other people. Therefore, they will not always know how to have an interactive conversation.
Working at The Autism Treatment Center of America I have had many experiences where it's easier for our children to talk about what they are motivated for, but when it comes to being interested in what we have to say, they have more of a challenge.
Using anticipation and cliff-hangers, will be a beautiful way to help your child with that particular piece of the conversation and also be a more indirect and subtle way of helping them to participate and prolong the conversation.
Below is an example of using cliff-hangers in a conversation. I have highlighted the cliff hangers in bold so you can distinguish where they are.
Example:
Child: There were pot bellied pigs and roosters at Dapplewood farm.
Facilitator: That's very cool, Pot bellied pigs are so funny.
Child: There were also goats and little baby lambs, there were lots and lots of horses.
Facilitator: Thanks for sharing that with me, I once rode a horse on the beach in Portugal.
Child: I rode the horse at Dapplewood farm, it was near the pot bellied pigs and roosters.
Facilitator: Wow, you rode a horse too? You are a great friend for telling me that! Ooh, you know what happened when I galloped on the horse on the beach?
Child: What happened?
Facilitator: I was galloping and galloping and it was going a little fast and then my riding hat started to slip over my face so I couldn't see.
Child: pause
Facilitator: You will never guess what happened next!
Child: You fell off?
Facilitator: I love that you asked, no, I didn't fall off!
Child: Then what?
Facilitator, I shouted "Help" to the instructor and he had to come and show me how to slow the horse down so I could see.
Have fun experimenting with cliff-hangers. Remember to always celebrate any efforts your child makes toward the conversation and relate your cliff-hangers to your child's area of interest in the conversation. Use the cliff-hangers along with some questions and lots of space for your child to participate and you are well on your way to inspiring longer conversations.
To strike up a conversation with someone, you have to be motivated and curious in the other person to start with. Our children need a little help with this because they spend a lot of time in their own worlds where they have found things that stimulate them without the need of other people. Therefore, they will not always know how to have an interactive conversation.
Working at The Autism Treatment Center of America I have had many experiences where it's easier for our children to talk about what they are motivated for, but when it comes to being interested in what we have to say, they have more of a challenge.
Using anticipation and cliff-hangers, will be a beautiful way to help your child with that particular piece of the conversation and also be a more indirect and subtle way of helping them to participate and prolong the conversation.
Below is an example of using cliff-hangers in a conversation. I have highlighted the cliff hangers in bold so you can distinguish where they are.
Example:
Child: There were pot bellied pigs and roosters at Dapplewood farm.
Facilitator: That's very cool, Pot bellied pigs are so funny.
Child: There were also goats and little baby lambs, there were lots and lots of horses.
Facilitator: Thanks for sharing that with me, I once rode a horse on the beach in Portugal.
Child: I rode the horse at Dapplewood farm, it was near the pot bellied pigs and roosters.
Facilitator: Wow, you rode a horse too? You are a great friend for telling me that! Ooh, you know what happened when I galloped on the horse on the beach?
Child: What happened?
Facilitator: I was galloping and galloping and it was going a little fast and then my riding hat started to slip over my face so I couldn't see.
Child: pause
Facilitator: You will never guess what happened next!
Child: You fell off?
Facilitator: I love that you asked, no, I didn't fall off!
Child: Then what?
Facilitator, I shouted "Help" to the instructor and he had to come and show me how to slow the horse down so I could see.
Have fun experimenting with cliff-hangers. Remember to always celebrate any efforts your child makes toward the conversation and relate your cliff-hangers to your child's area of interest in the conversation. Use the cliff-hangers along with some questions and lots of space for your child to participate and you are well on your way to inspiring longer conversations.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
1 + 1 + 1 = 1 What Makes a Team?
FROM SIMONE: When I was discussing in my last blog about the preoccupation Parents have with how long their Program is going to take or how old their child is, the race against the clock, I also remembered another great preoccupation Parents normally have: Volunteers.
I've seen many Parents quit doing their Son-Rise Program because they could not find volunteers, as finding volunteers is associated with "for how many hours a week I can run my Program", again that main preoccupation about time and quantity I was talking about last week.
The fact is The Son-Rise Program and the word "quantity" do not go together because how do you measure or count LOVE?
When I first started my Son-Rise Program for my son back in 2005 I had no playroom, my son didn't even have a room I could transform in one, there was just myself, but I was injected with hope and 3E's, fresh from The Son-Rise Start-Up and my son had more changes in 6 months than ever before. In fact if I compare with some periods later when I had a team of volunteers, but was not employing the right attitude with them, my son actually progressed more when I was on my own, but kept the right attitude and was HAPPY!
I am not saying you shouldn't have volunteers, they are wonderful, you will be able to run your Program more efficiently, have time to do all the other things you are supposed to do and your child will get input from different people, really getting the idea that people are fun to be with and not just Mommy or Daddy are fun to be with. What you can't do is forget that you can run a Program without volunteers and your Program always carries on even when good volunteers leave and even that it is not worth keeping volunteers you are not satisfied with just so there's more people in your Program. It's never about the quantity.
So what makes a good team of volunteers? Where do you find them? How do you train them? What qualities do they need to have?
You make the team because to keep it as a team you need to treat volunteers with the same techniques you are going to teach them, you need to be non-judgemental with them, you need to love them and believe they are doing their best and you need to protect your child and want the best for your child so you need to inspire in them the same love you have for your child so that the whole team moves as one in excitement for every achievement from your child, no matter how small.
To be able to create this love for each other and for your child you will need to make sure there's total authenticity between you and each team worker and between them. If there's anything troubling you about some one's performance don't be afraid to bring it up. Don't fall in the dangerous game of I won't say anything that might upset my volunteer and they might leave. Much the opposite, the more genuine and truthful you are the longer they will stay, and let's face it, if they leave because they've heard genuine feedback you wouldn't want them in the team anyway.
There's a huge difference between technique and principle. You can have a person like myself who is formerly autistic and have no 3 E's. 3E's is a technique, you can practice, you can create an intention to be more animated, it's a choice. Now you can't have a person in the team with no integrity, who won't turn up and won't tell you, who when you are not looking will kill time ignoring your child or looking at the clock every second, you can't have someone who will be spiteful of feedback or won't move at all with feedback because their beliefs are set in stone.
I have had volunteers who didn't respect myself, my son or other team members and I have no regret for having asked them to leave the team, even though I was left in some cases with almost no hours in the Program, even though I had paid them to do the Intensive in America or other Programs, nothing can come into consideration when you find out someone has no principles, they have to go, and that is a loving attitude, love for your child and the Program you built for him or her.
So summarizing, when looking for a volunteer don't look at diplomas, look how the person behaves with your child, how loving and accepting they are, even of themselves, how excited they are about being with your child rather than how knowledgeable they are and when training them remember the Programs you did yourself and how much the staff from the Option Institute inspired you to believe in your child, remember how much you wanted to go to a Program every week, if possible, and create that atmosphere in your house so that volunteers will be attracted to working for you and attracted to staying because they feel good about what they are doing.
Last but not least BELIEVE! Believe you will find great people, believe they will want to stay and believe great volunteers are out there waiting to hear everything about your Program and love it just like you do and have fun creating fun training exercises and group meetings that will inspire them and keep the 3Es flowing in your Program.
This is my current team, I am the Viking, beard and all!
I've seen many Parents quit doing their Son-Rise Program because they could not find volunteers, as finding volunteers is associated with "for how many hours a week I can run my Program", again that main preoccupation about time and quantity I was talking about last week.
The fact is The Son-Rise Program and the word "quantity" do not go together because how do you measure or count LOVE?
When I first started my Son-Rise Program for my son back in 2005 I had no playroom, my son didn't even have a room I could transform in one, there was just myself, but I was injected with hope and 3E's, fresh from The Son-Rise Start-Up and my son had more changes in 6 months than ever before. In fact if I compare with some periods later when I had a team of volunteers, but was not employing the right attitude with them, my son actually progressed more when I was on my own, but kept the right attitude and was HAPPY!
I am not saying you shouldn't have volunteers, they are wonderful, you will be able to run your Program more efficiently, have time to do all the other things you are supposed to do and your child will get input from different people, really getting the idea that people are fun to be with and not just Mommy or Daddy are fun to be with. What you can't do is forget that you can run a Program without volunteers and your Program always carries on even when good volunteers leave and even that it is not worth keeping volunteers you are not satisfied with just so there's more people in your Program. It's never about the quantity.
So what makes a good team of volunteers? Where do you find them? How do you train them? What qualities do they need to have?
- The question is not what makes a good team of volunteers but WHO makes a good team of volunteers and the answer is YOU.
- The answer to where you find them is you don't find them you "make" them and you make them by training them and training them and training them.
- You train them by doing feedback, feedback, feedback over and over again.
- The only qualities they need to have is being reliable, trustworthy, fun and willing to make happiness a priority in their lives. I wouldn't even prioritize the fun part as there are a lot of people who are actually fun but don't know about it, but I would prioritize the willingness to be happy as nobody can be fun without being happy. Have you ever met anybody unhappy who was fun to be with?
Without happiness there's no Son-Rise Program. I have met many people who were fun and animated and a great companion to my son until any sort of problem hit their lives and they chose unhappiness as a way of dealing with their problems, they believed that being unhappy, angry gave them energy to change what they didn't like. The problem here is when they see something they would like your child to change they will apply the same principle they apply for themselves, they will use anger, frustration, unhappiness and you will be treading in some dangerous ground.
You make the team because to keep it as a team you need to treat volunteers with the same techniques you are going to teach them, you need to be non-judgemental with them, you need to love them and believe they are doing their best and you need to protect your child and want the best for your child so you need to inspire in them the same love you have for your child so that the whole team moves as one in excitement for every achievement from your child, no matter how small.
To be able to create this love for each other and for your child you will need to make sure there's total authenticity between you and each team worker and between them. If there's anything troubling you about some one's performance don't be afraid to bring it up. Don't fall in the dangerous game of I won't say anything that might upset my volunteer and they might leave. Much the opposite, the more genuine and truthful you are the longer they will stay, and let's face it, if they leave because they've heard genuine feedback you wouldn't want them in the team anyway.
There's a huge difference between technique and principle. You can have a person like myself who is formerly autistic and have no 3 E's. 3E's is a technique, you can practice, you can create an intention to be more animated, it's a choice. Now you can't have a person in the team with no integrity, who won't turn up and won't tell you, who when you are not looking will kill time ignoring your child or looking at the clock every second, you can't have someone who will be spiteful of feedback or won't move at all with feedback because their beliefs are set in stone.
I have had volunteers who didn't respect myself, my son or other team members and I have no regret for having asked them to leave the team, even though I was left in some cases with almost no hours in the Program, even though I had paid them to do the Intensive in America or other Programs, nothing can come into consideration when you find out someone has no principles, they have to go, and that is a loving attitude, love for your child and the Program you built for him or her.
So summarizing, when looking for a volunteer don't look at diplomas, look how the person behaves with your child, how loving and accepting they are, even of themselves, how excited they are about being with your child rather than how knowledgeable they are and when training them remember the Programs you did yourself and how much the staff from the Option Institute inspired you to believe in your child, remember how much you wanted to go to a Program every week, if possible, and create that atmosphere in your house so that volunteers will be attracted to working for you and attracted to staying because they feel good about what they are doing.
Last but not least BELIEVE! Believe you will find great people, believe they will want to stay and believe great volunteers are out there waiting to hear everything about your Program and love it just like you do and have fun creating fun training exercises and group meetings that will inspire them and keep the 3Es flowing in your Program.
This is my current team, I am the Viking, beard and all!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
From Toni: Starting with a NEW Introduction
From Toni: Yesterday I had the priviledge of making my first sheriff's report! YAY haha. I was sitting with my Autistic son, Zachary, waiting for the Deputy. Zac was becoming very impatient- starting to whine and not wanting to sit in his seat. I checked in with myself... Yep, I was just thinking, 'Sheesh, how long is this guy gonna take?!' Amazing. I told Zac that if he whines and kinda makes a fuss that it actually wasn't going to get us out of here any faster, in fact it could seem that our wait is even longer if we focus on it! Great advice for mom AND child :) We both waited patiently for several more minutes.
When the Deputy entered the waiting area he introduced himself and shook my hand then turned to Zachary, observing that he was covering his ears and not really looking at the man in uniform that "most" children would be checking out from head to toe... "Good morning Buddy! He must be a little shy". This is when I went into my "Robot world". I said " Oh, Zachary is Autistic, he doesn't talk" Is this the way I introduce him to everyone? WHOA! What if Zac wanted to look and say something?? In all the events of my day this one was the most exciting, the most life changing; realizing that one small introduction was loaded with SO MANY BELIEFS! Was there a little fear wrapped up in it too?
What a gift it was to be present with myself in that moment. Today, not even 24 hours later, I have totally new beliefs about the way I will introduce my son, myself, or anyone special in my life. I didn't "need" to call someone for advice, I didn't "need" to judge myself for any of it... I opened up my great big Son-Rise/Option tool box in my soul and reached in without looking and the tool fell right into my hand.
When the Deputy entered the waiting area he introduced himself and shook my hand then turned to Zachary, observing that he was covering his ears and not really looking at the man in uniform that "most" children would be checking out from head to toe... "Good morning Buddy! He must be a little shy". This is when I went into my "Robot world". I said " Oh, Zachary is Autistic, he doesn't talk" Is this the way I introduce him to everyone? WHOA! What if Zac wanted to look and say something?? In all the events of my day this one was the most exciting, the most life changing; realizing that one small introduction was loaded with SO MANY BELIEFS! Was there a little fear wrapped up in it too?
What a gift it was to be present with myself in that moment. Today, not even 24 hours later, I have totally new beliefs about the way I will introduce my son, myself, or anyone special in my life. I didn't "need" to call someone for advice, I didn't "need" to judge myself for any of it... I opened up my great big Son-Rise/Option tool box in my soul and reached in without looking and the tool fell right into my hand.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Game Idea - Inspire Your Child to Look More!
FROM KATE: Hello everyone! Here are some fun ideas for you to try to help your children look more - using your creativity and your 3Es!
If you're viewing this post from Facebook, please click on the title of this post and then "View Original Post" to get to the video.
Watch and enjoy - and try these ideas with your children! Wishing you all the best in your playrooms.
Love to you all,
Kate
If you're viewing this post from Facebook, please click on the title of this post and then "View Original Post" to get to the video.
Watch and enjoy - and try these ideas with your children! Wishing you all the best in your playrooms.
Love to you all,
Kate
Love is beautiful
FROM WILLIAM: This morning I watched a mother and father playing with their 6 year old autistic son (via youtube). This morning I also watch mothers and fathers interact and challenge themselves to learn and grow during our Son-Rise Program Maximum Impact training. In each situation it was beautiful to see the love and to see parents going after their dreams. It really was special.
I feel like I have a blessed life to be a part of this amazing unfolding.
Thank you all for being an inspiration.
Love and Smiles
William
I feel like I have a blessed life to be a part of this amazing unfolding.
Thank you all for being an inspiration.
Love and Smiles
William
A Little Less Conversation a Little More Action
FROM BECKY: Have you ever watched a stand up comedian telling a hilarious story? You are captivated by their energy and you want to know more, you also feel connected to them. That's how we want to be for our special children.
We are promoting relationships and inspiring our children to want to be with us when we use The Son-Rise program. Therefore, when we are working on conversation skills, we want to be interesting, animated and captivating for our children.
What to do?
1) Use energy excitement and enthusiasm! Get up and act out your parts of the conversation. Many of our children are very visually oriented. That's why they love cartoon characters and movies so much. I have spent many hours at The Autism Treatment Center of America telling children crazy stories as I act out exactly what happened (e.g. "The funniest thing happened to me when I was a waitress" (gets up), "I was serving a customer an ice cream sundae" (walks across the room with a pretend bowl), "and I tripped....... (pauses and gasps) "and the sundae fell in a splat on his lap" (pretends to trip forward and make a splatting sound effect). Yes, that actually happened, before you ask!
2) Be an animated listener. When your child participates in the conversation, drop everything and focus on intently listening to them. Making them center stage and being present with them will help model to them how to be when another person shares something with them.
3) Celebrate your child for sharing, even if they have the smallest part in the conversation, it matters that they are deciding to participate and that they feel successful. If they attempt to share something and it doesn't quite pan out, celebrate them for trying. They could have just ignored you and they chose to try.
What to think?
1) It is the connection and how much fun I have that matters the most and not the amount of loops my child can do, how many questions they answer, etc.
2) By modelling to them how to share in a conversation and not needing them to take part in the same way, I am still helping them.
Have the best time, I'd love to know how it goes.
We are promoting relationships and inspiring our children to want to be with us when we use The Son-Rise program. Therefore, when we are working on conversation skills, we want to be interesting, animated and captivating for our children.
What to do?
1) Use energy excitement and enthusiasm! Get up and act out your parts of the conversation. Many of our children are very visually oriented. That's why they love cartoon characters and movies so much. I have spent many hours at The Autism Treatment Center of America telling children crazy stories as I act out exactly what happened (e.g. "The funniest thing happened to me when I was a waitress" (gets up), "I was serving a customer an ice cream sundae" (walks across the room with a pretend bowl), "and I tripped....... (pauses and gasps) "and the sundae fell in a splat on his lap" (pretends to trip forward and make a splatting sound effect). Yes, that actually happened, before you ask!
2) Be an animated listener. When your child participates in the conversation, drop everything and focus on intently listening to them. Making them center stage and being present with them will help model to them how to be when another person shares something with them.
3) Celebrate your child for sharing, even if they have the smallest part in the conversation, it matters that they are deciding to participate and that they feel successful. If they attempt to share something and it doesn't quite pan out, celebrate them for trying. They could have just ignored you and they chose to try.
What to think?
1) It is the connection and how much fun I have that matters the most and not the amount of loops my child can do, how many questions they answer, etc.
2) By modelling to them how to share in a conversation and not needing them to take part in the same way, I am still helping them.
Have the best time, I'd love to know how it goes.
Building is a one man circus!
From Katrina: Ola muito bom amigos! (This is loosely translated to hello wonderful friends in Portuguese) Have you ever watched someone else in a Son-Rise Program playroom? Our children are the luckiest alive, and they obviously have some of the best isms in the world. To be able to go back to isming after watching some of the hilarious builds I have seen, you know their isms gotta be good!
Yesterday I had one of those lovely sessions where I did the joining/building dance over and over and over. These sessions are so much fun because you get to see how creative and hysterical you can truly be and then let it go at the drop of a hat. Now, for those of you who might need a refresher: building is a technique that we use when a child gives us a green light (e.g. looks, talks, etc.)We start a game based on something that child is doing. If the child is interested, great! We keep going and thus a game is formed. If the child goes back to isming, great! We then go back to joining and build when we have another green light.
Wow! SO much fun, yesterday I was juggling therapy balls with my feet, I had Noddy being eaten by a stuffed fish, I was rolling around giggling, I was reading bedtime stories to a giant horse, I made a toilet train out of cardboard blocks....and the list goes on. Not once did I have a game longer than 30 seconds, but I had so much fun. I challenge you to let yourself go when building, do whatever pops into your head and present it enthusiastically (then record it, and when you need a pick me up watch your own comedy!) And if your child goes back to isming, trust that it's not that you aren't entertaining, its just that his/her ism is just that good!
Have fun being a one man circus!
Love,
Katrina
Yesterday I had one of those lovely sessions where I did the joining/building dance over and over and over. These sessions are so much fun because you get to see how creative and hysterical you can truly be and then let it go at the drop of a hat. Now, for those of you who might need a refresher: building is a technique that we use when a child gives us a green light (e.g. looks, talks, etc.)We start a game based on something that child is doing. If the child is interested, great! We keep going and thus a game is formed. If the child goes back to isming, great! We then go back to joining and build when we have another green light.
Wow! SO much fun, yesterday I was juggling therapy balls with my feet, I had Noddy being eaten by a stuffed fish, I was rolling around giggling, I was reading bedtime stories to a giant horse, I made a toilet train out of cardboard blocks....and the list goes on. Not once did I have a game longer than 30 seconds, but I had so much fun. I challenge you to let yourself go when building, do whatever pops into your head and present it enthusiastically (then record it, and when you need a pick me up watch your own comedy!) And if your child goes back to isming, trust that it's not that you aren't entertaining, its just that his/her ism is just that good!
Have fun being a one man circus!
Love,
Katrina
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Foreign Language is Not a Barrier
From Amanda: This week, at the Autism Treatment Center of America, we have a family from Portugal, and they have brought their four year old autistic child for a week long Family Intensive. I had the pleasure of being with this little boy for quite some time this week I love him to pieces. We've had so much fun playing Noddy together, laughing as we run around the room, and loving eachother with hugs and tender looks; All while we were speaking Portuguese to eachother. Yes! Portuguese.
Our mission for every family, is to help them feel at home when they come for their Family Intensive. So, before a foreign child comes to the intensive, we send English language sheets to the parents, so they can fill out basic words in their language. There are words like, squeeze, toilet, eat, drink, bounce and many others we have found to be useful to the child. We also ask the family to make a recording of those words, so we can turn it into CD's that are then handed out to our Child Facilitators. This CD recording is a study guide for the weeks leading up to the Intensive Program so we too can learn the language. Two large posters are also made with the English words and the foreign langiage translations, which are then hung in the playroom for reference.(Although we use these CDs, and posters, and language sheets to help us speak to the child, our most useful communication comes in the form of love and acceptance. There are no words for that!)
So you see, just because a child speaks another lanuage, doesn't mean we can't communicate with them. Language is not a barrier in this situation, but instead it's an opportunity to grow. Our intention is to do our very best to learn the language when a foreign family comes, so we can celebrate and love each and every child with words they will understand.
Love,
Amanda
Our mission for every family, is to help them feel at home when they come for their Family Intensive. So, before a foreign child comes to the intensive, we send English language sheets to the parents, so they can fill out basic words in their language. There are words like, squeeze, toilet, eat, drink, bounce and many others we have found to be useful to the child. We also ask the family to make a recording of those words, so we can turn it into CD's that are then handed out to our Child Facilitators. This CD recording is a study guide for the weeks leading up to the Intensive Program so we too can learn the language. Two large posters are also made with the English words and the foreign langiage translations, which are then hung in the playroom for reference.(Although we use these CDs, and posters, and language sheets to help us speak to the child, our most useful communication comes in the form of love and acceptance. There are no words for that!)
So you see, just because a child speaks another lanuage, doesn't mean we can't communicate with them. Language is not a barrier in this situation, but instead it's an opportunity to grow. Our intention is to do our very best to learn the language when a foreign family comes, so we can celebrate and love each and every child with words they will understand.
Love,
Amanda
We Are The Lucky Ones !!!
From Alison: When I look back over our Son Rise journey so far, I am filled with this huge sense of gratitude for all that has been. I have two lovely children, the Son Rise Program is for my son Jordan who is the younger child. When my daughter learned to talk I smiled at her cleverness at coming out with words like equipment when she was two years old. But when Jordan learned to say his first words, the celebration was huge and the joy in my heart immense because I knew what it took to get him to stretch himself to say drink and biscuit. I knew that according to the experts predictions those words were not supposed to happen. That sense of gratitude has stayed with me even though Jordan has been able to speak for a few years now. I am still awed by how he tries new things, always giving himself that extra challenge to reach back to me and explain his wants. Mothers of typically developing children do not get the opportunity to reach for this level of gratitude in the same way that we do. I want to keep that gratitude in place even when Jordan is an adult, always remembering how far he has come and how much it took Jordan to reach where he has. I am truly blessed to have this gift from my son.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
A Son-Rise Community
FROM KATRINA: This week is Maximum Impact and I want to start off by staying how impressed I am with all of the amazing parents who are here this week. They are digging into themselves and shedding discomforts. They are trusting that their children are okay at home while they learn more about how to be with and help them. They have started their own at home Son-Rise programs and have come back to ask questions and make an even greater impact. To all of these parents, I want to say: You are amazing! I have enjoyed meeting and talking with you!
I also want to encourage those of you out there who have not been to programs to come to one, and if you have been to one, to come to another. It is so amazing to see the communities that are formed here. To see parents of special needs children greet each other with such instant camaraderie and share similar stories of life and love and success. Coming to a Son-Rise Program or any Option Institute program for that matter is like creating a second family of individuals who want to support you and stay connected.
This is one of the things I love about Son-Rise. I feel like we are all in this together. We (and I mean everyone who has anything to do with the Son-Rise program: staff, parents, volunteers, etc.) will never stop loving, we will never stop caring, we will continue to want the best for you and your child and all involved. Aaaah - I love it!
wishing you all the best and hoping to see more of you!
Love,
Katrina
I also want to encourage those of you out there who have not been to programs to come to one, and if you have been to one, to come to another. It is so amazing to see the communities that are formed here. To see parents of special needs children greet each other with such instant camaraderie and share similar stories of life and love and success. Coming to a Son-Rise Program or any Option Institute program for that matter is like creating a second family of individuals who want to support you and stay connected.
This is one of the things I love about Son-Rise. I feel like we are all in this together. We (and I mean everyone who has anything to do with the Son-Rise program: staff, parents, volunteers, etc.) will never stop loving, we will never stop caring, we will continue to want the best for you and your child and all involved. Aaaah - I love it!
wishing you all the best and hoping to see more of you!
Love,
Katrina
Time is on my Side
FROM SIMONE: It has actually been some time since I have written my first and last blog as I took a three week break in my home country of Brazil and the internet connection there wasn't as reliable as I hoped it to be. I came back longing to write about how my son Thiago behaved so well in the trip, how I am so proud of him and how everybody was impressed with all his changes, but as soon as I arrived last week my computer power blew up and I had to wait another week.
Being this week special for two anniversaries, today it has been two years that both Thiago and I started the Specific Carbohydrate Diet and tomorrow my volunteer Louise will have the honour of spending the 5000th playroom hour with Thiago, I reflected a lot into our Son-Rise Program, our life as a family and about time.
Another coincidence, (if you believe in such things, I prefer to believe that when we really want something the whole universe conspires for us to get it), was that I bought a book in Brazil, not a book about autism or special diets, but a travel book. Who would expect a Son-Rise Mom to buy a travel book, I mean, where do we go but inside our children's playroom? Well perhaps I wouldn't normally buy one, but this book was written by an old friend, so I thought I would check it out. He had a career in Marketing, a good job in a successful company, but at 39 he just decided against all wisdom and advice to just travel around the world, travel around Asia mainly, as it had been his dream since we were flatmates here in London back in 1989. I remember being, at the time he travelled, one of the ones who thought he was crazy and immature, little I knew that in that same year of 2005, I was too to embark in the biggest journey of my life, my Son-Rise Program with my son Thiago. While reading my friend's book and reflecting today about this anniversary, 5000 hours, I thought how similar our journeys had been, even though he travelled to 25 Countries and I never left my son's room. I thought about how I met fierce opposition for having my son home instead of taking him to school, how I met opposition for keeping him in a room instead of outdoors, for giving him the company of adults instead of other children, for joining him in his isms instead of trying to change his behaviour. Despite all opposition, I too, against all "wisdom" and "researches" followed my heart, I was too 39 years old, I too left my job and my old life behind me and embarked in my journey to the unknown land of autism. I set out to meet my son and for my surprise, I found myself.
It's amazing how the question of time is on people's minds, many Parents when asking about Son-Rise they don't ask about what we do or about what our children do, but how long and how much. How long have you been doing your Son-Rise Program for? How many volunteers have you got? How many hours a week do you do it for? In the race of life there will be always someone ahead and behind you, so being competitive creatures as we are, we decide to race against the clock. We forget something beautiful about the race of life, that it is in fact not a race, we only truly race against ourselves, and if we are the only ones to beat, we are always a winner. This I reckon has been my best finding in the thousands of hours I travelled, the mastering of time. I am through the Option Process a Master of time and space, for when I make myself present, every second in the playroom for my son, time stops, I appreciate every moment and every moment is a gain, a penny in the jar. When joining my son there's no "Oh my God he is 8 years old and he should be or shouldn't be doing this" there's no worries and no regrets, there's a timeless peace, there's joy, there's happiness, there's myself. How many times we see Parents distraught because it is "too late" or it will take "too long"? My child is "too old" or I am "too old" for this? The question is to what parameter we set our "clocks"? If some indigenous cultures regard a person being the older the better, as he or she would be, no doubt, wiser, why do we dread the passing of time and make the clock our enemy?
I find great wisdom in popular sayings and one I really like is "Never let the time it will take doing something stop you from doing it, time will pass anyway". And another one, that is mostly said about young people, but that truly is a fact for all of us and our children "You have your whole life ahead of you", we all do, so why not treasure every moment, why not give yourself a gift: "Being Present"!
- Happy anniversary my baby, you are so special, I have spent many of the 5000 hours of fun in the playroom with you but you have spent them all! -
Being this week special for two anniversaries, today it has been two years that both Thiago and I started the Specific Carbohydrate Diet and tomorrow my volunteer Louise will have the honour of spending the 5000th playroom hour with Thiago, I reflected a lot into our Son-Rise Program, our life as a family and about time.
Another coincidence, (if you believe in such things, I prefer to believe that when we really want something the whole universe conspires for us to get it), was that I bought a book in Brazil, not a book about autism or special diets, but a travel book. Who would expect a Son-Rise Mom to buy a travel book, I mean, where do we go but inside our children's playroom? Well perhaps I wouldn't normally buy one, but this book was written by an old friend, so I thought I would check it out. He had a career in Marketing, a good job in a successful company, but at 39 he just decided against all wisdom and advice to just travel around the world, travel around Asia mainly, as it had been his dream since we were flatmates here in London back in 1989. I remember being, at the time he travelled, one of the ones who thought he was crazy and immature, little I knew that in that same year of 2005, I was too to embark in the biggest journey of my life, my Son-Rise Program with my son Thiago. While reading my friend's book and reflecting today about this anniversary, 5000 hours, I thought how similar our journeys had been, even though he travelled to 25 Countries and I never left my son's room. I thought about how I met fierce opposition for having my son home instead of taking him to school, how I met opposition for keeping him in a room instead of outdoors, for giving him the company of adults instead of other children, for joining him in his isms instead of trying to change his behaviour. Despite all opposition, I too, against all "wisdom" and "researches" followed my heart, I was too 39 years old, I too left my job and my old life behind me and embarked in my journey to the unknown land of autism. I set out to meet my son and for my surprise, I found myself.
It's amazing how the question of time is on people's minds, many Parents when asking about Son-Rise they don't ask about what we do or about what our children do, but how long and how much. How long have you been doing your Son-Rise Program for? How many volunteers have you got? How many hours a week do you do it for? In the race of life there will be always someone ahead and behind you, so being competitive creatures as we are, we decide to race against the clock. We forget something beautiful about the race of life, that it is in fact not a race, we only truly race against ourselves, and if we are the only ones to beat, we are always a winner. This I reckon has been my best finding in the thousands of hours I travelled, the mastering of time. I am through the Option Process a Master of time and space, for when I make myself present, every second in the playroom for my son, time stops, I appreciate every moment and every moment is a gain, a penny in the jar. When joining my son there's no "Oh my God he is 8 years old and he should be or shouldn't be doing this" there's no worries and no regrets, there's a timeless peace, there's joy, there's happiness, there's myself. How many times we see Parents distraught because it is "too late" or it will take "too long"? My child is "too old" or I am "too old" for this? The question is to what parameter we set our "clocks"? If some indigenous cultures regard a person being the older the better, as he or she would be, no doubt, wiser, why do we dread the passing of time and make the clock our enemy?
I find great wisdom in popular sayings and one I really like is "Never let the time it will take doing something stop you from doing it, time will pass anyway". And another one, that is mostly said about young people, but that truly is a fact for all of us and our children "You have your whole life ahead of you", we all do, so why not treasure every moment, why not give yourself a gift: "Being Present"!
- Happy anniversary my baby, you are so special, I have spent many of the 5000 hours of fun in the playroom with you but you have spent them all! -
Spontaneous Language - The Power of "Just Playing"
FROM CAROLINA: This past weekend, I spent my time with a lovely family and worked with a gorgeous red-headed boy named Joshua. I absolutely fell in love with him from the moment we met - his soulful blue-green eyes, his beautiful smile and his life-changing laughter - he was absolutely enchanting. He was one more reminder of just how lucky I am to help these incredible Son-Rise Program children.
And wow - he has developed so much already - all areas of social interaction. Since his parents did the Son-Rise Program Start-Up, this little boy has gone from using only pictures to communicate and rarely interacting, to now using multiple-word phrases, singing songs, talking spontaneously, looking in our eyes consistently during interactions, and playing up to 20 minutes at one time. It was just wonderful to see the progress he has made already.
Our focus for the weekend was to help Joshua develop more spontaneous language - rather than repeating rote phrases. To do this, we talked at length about how important it is to think of language as a symptom of Joshua's connection. Language is not a "skill" we're developing - language is something that children do much more naturally when they are motivated to connect to another person. So, rather than repeating phrases to Joshua for him to repeat back, we focused on just creating more motivation - "just playing" - rather than trying to "work on something" in every game. Each game would consist of building a game that Joshua was motivated for (like swinging him around to the tune of Ring-Around-the-Rosy) and then leaving natural pauses for Joshua to speak. And - like magic - it worked! Each time they paused - Joshua came up with the words all by himself. And when the words were his own creation, his own spontaneous addition to the game, he tended to look a lot more, a sign that he was more connected to the person he was talking to - instead of just spouting words without connecting.
Watching Joshua's parents play with him on Sunday afternoon was a true highlight for me. I was perched on my stool, looking through the observation window into the playroom, feeling like I was peering in to a magical world where joyful connection is all that matters. They each created such joyful games with him - and instead of focusing on "the skill of language" - they put all of their focus into just enjoying the time they had to play with their beautiful son. And his laughter - the kind of laughter that bubbles up from your soul, fills the whole body and spills out like rainbows - that is something that only comes from deep connection and joyful interaction. That is the most amazing gift that our Son-Rise Program playrooms have to offer.
And wow - he has developed so much already - all areas of social interaction. Since his parents did the Son-Rise Program Start-Up, this little boy has gone from using only pictures to communicate and rarely interacting, to now using multiple-word phrases, singing songs, talking spontaneously, looking in our eyes consistently during interactions, and playing up to 20 minutes at one time. It was just wonderful to see the progress he has made already.
Our focus for the weekend was to help Joshua develop more spontaneous language - rather than repeating rote phrases. To do this, we talked at length about how important it is to think of language as a symptom of Joshua's connection. Language is not a "skill" we're developing - language is something that children do much more naturally when they are motivated to connect to another person. So, rather than repeating phrases to Joshua for him to repeat back, we focused on just creating more motivation - "just playing" - rather than trying to "work on something" in every game. Each game would consist of building a game that Joshua was motivated for (like swinging him around to the tune of Ring-Around-the-Rosy) and then leaving natural pauses for Joshua to speak. And - like magic - it worked! Each time they paused - Joshua came up with the words all by himself. And when the words were his own creation, his own spontaneous addition to the game, he tended to look a lot more, a sign that he was more connected to the person he was talking to - instead of just spouting words without connecting.
Watching Joshua's parents play with him on Sunday afternoon was a true highlight for me. I was perched on my stool, looking through the observation window into the playroom, feeling like I was peering in to a magical world where joyful connection is all that matters. They each created such joyful games with him - and instead of focusing on "the skill of language" - they put all of their focus into just enjoying the time they had to play with their beautiful son. And his laughter - the kind of laughter that bubbles up from your soul, fills the whole body and spills out like rainbows - that is something that only comes from deep connection and joyful interaction. That is the most amazing gift that our Son-Rise Program playrooms have to offer.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Optimal Self Trust
FROM BECKY: A little while back, I attended the Optimal Self Trust Program here at The Option Institute and had the best time. One of the things that I wanted to work on during the week was really believing and understanding that the universe really is benevolent. An example of me not believing this was that my beloved three year old dog Millerooski got hit by a car and died a couple of weeks before the program. I chose to be sad and guilty about that and not trusting that all change is good. During the program, I was exposed to the idea that everything happens for everyone's benefit and given a chance to come up with a theory to support why this happened for everyone's benefit. It was fairly easy for me to come up with why it happened for my dogs benefit because I believed that he was a free spirit and hated to be tied up on our farm where we live. A consequence for that was that he wondered into the main road and got hit, however, I believe he had a great life (even though short) and was a free spirit. He loved to be independent and paid the consequences of that.
When it came to why it happened for my benefit, then it was harder for me to come up with a reason but I reached inside and found one. This exeperience has helped me to be consistent with setting boundaries with the ones I love in my life. In The Son-Rise Program playroom I set boundaries. For example, if a child is jumping on the trampoline with scissors in his hand, I will set a boundary on that because I love the child and want to keep him safe. Even though the child might not like the boundary, I know it's for the best. However, with my dog, I did not set the boundary of tying him up at the farm or keeping him in the house because I knew that he preferred to wander free. Therefore I paid the consequences as his caregiver.
If you love someone and want the best for them then it's useful to set boundaries.
Love to all of you,
Becky
When it came to why it happened for my benefit, then it was harder for me to come up with a reason but I reached inside and found one. This exeperience has helped me to be consistent with setting boundaries with the ones I love in my life. In The Son-Rise Program playroom I set boundaries. For example, if a child is jumping on the trampoline with scissors in his hand, I will set a boundary on that because I love the child and want to keep him safe. Even though the child might not like the boundary, I know it's for the best. However, with my dog, I did not set the boundary of tying him up at the farm or keeping him in the house because I knew that he preferred to wander free. Therefore I paid the consequences as his caregiver.
If you love someone and want the best for them then it's useful to set boundaries.
Love to all of you,
Becky
Application of The Option Process
FROM BEARS: It's not about "talk," it's about "do." Most philosophers think, discuss, and write. What's exciting is designing a grid to explain and construct the world around us, then forming it into a cohesive teachable process (which we did with The Option Process and honed it over 40 years) and then apply it to helping folks use that grid to navigate happily and successfully in the real world. In the end, people are depressed no longer, anxious no more, empowered to the max., self-trusting, and autism is gone. Imagine learning to convert best talk into best action.
1) What am I believing about life, love, relationships, sex, money, health, aging (write it down if you want)
2) How do I behave having those beliefs in those areas?
3) Do I like what I am doing or do I want to change it?
4) If I want to change it, then I need to change the underlying belief. How do we do that? Question: why do I believe that?
...And so it unfolds -- you knowing you.
Love, Bears
1) What am I believing about life, love, relationships, sex, money, health, aging (write it down if you want)
2) How do I behave having those beliefs in those areas?
3) Do I like what I am doing or do I want to change it?
4) If I want to change it, then I need to change the underlying belief. How do we do that? Question: why do I believe that?
...And so it unfolds -- you knowing you.
Love, Bears
The Balance Between Work and Home Life
FROM AMANDA: I am writing to you today from home because I am taking care of my daughter who has Strep Throat. I had to call into to work today, and I must say, I was doing allot of unhappiness about deciding to stay home rather than send my daughter to her grandmother's house. I sat here for a good portion of the morning wondering if the people I work with would think I was a disappointment. I was not allowing myself to be easy with the fact that I am missing so much work.
UNTIL NOW! I did a self dialogue and I have decided to be really easy with not being at work today. Life at the Autism Center of America will and must go on, even when I am unable to go into the playroom, or be at my desk to do things that can certainly wait until I am back at work.
The "attitudinal" aspect of The Son-Rise Program is important both in and out of the playroom. When I go into the playroom , I think only of the beautiful children I work with, so, I can certainly be with my own child at home without thinking of the playroom. In an instant, I changed my attitude from, wondering what people will think and feel if I am not at work, to being perfectly happy with being home and loving myself for making the decision to stay with my daughter. As I am writing this blog she has called me about ten times to ask for things like juice, Kleenex, and the thermometer because she is now a "big girl" and can take her own temperature.
I am sharing this story with you because as a parent, I know how we challenge ourselves with whether or not we have made a decision that is "right" or "wrong" for us. I can tell you that if you believe in the choices you make, and stand behind those beliefs with an easy, loving attitude toward yourself, then everything you do can be a joyful and amazing experience.
So, with this in mind, I am going to sit with my sweet daughter and share some beautiful cuddle time.
Love,
Amanda
UNTIL NOW! I did a self dialogue and I have decided to be really easy with not being at work today. Life at the Autism Center of America will and must go on, even when I am unable to go into the playroom, or be at my desk to do things that can certainly wait until I am back at work.
The "attitudinal" aspect of The Son-Rise Program is important both in and out of the playroom. When I go into the playroom , I think only of the beautiful children I work with, so, I can certainly be with my own child at home without thinking of the playroom. In an instant, I changed my attitude from, wondering what people will think and feel if I am not at work, to being perfectly happy with being home and loving myself for making the decision to stay with my daughter. As I am writing this blog she has called me about ten times to ask for things like juice, Kleenex, and the thermometer because she is now a "big girl" and can take her own temperature.
I am sharing this story with you because as a parent, I know how we challenge ourselves with whether or not we have made a decision that is "right" or "wrong" for us. I can tell you that if you believe in the choices you make, and stand behind those beliefs with an easy, loving attitude toward yourself, then everything you do can be a joyful and amazing experience.
So, with this in mind, I am going to sit with my sweet daughter and share some beautiful cuddle time.
Love,
Amanda
Monday, April 12, 2010
Conversations Part 3
FROM BECKY: When helping your child with conversational skills in The Son-Rise Program playroom, one thing that will help both you and your child be successful is what I call...comment versus question.
No-one wants the Spanish Inquisition! When we are with our children (whether Neuro-Typical or special) we tend ask a lot of questions (e.g. "Are you coloring?", "How many dots does the ladybug have?", "What color is the dog?", etc).
When we are talking to our friends however, we don't simply bombard them with questions. We vary the conversation with a mixture of both questions and comments.
For example:
Me: Hey, I had the best time today
Friend: Really, what did you do?
Me: I went in the playroom with this beautiful child, it was so cool, I joined him for an hour.
Friend: I love that, once I joined a child drawing dots for 2 hours straight.
Me: Oh, I love drawing isms. What have you been up to today?
Friend: Oh I had a great day, I went hiking to Bash Bish Falls.
Me: Bash Bish Falls are so gorgeous.
Friend: I know, I even went for a swim.
Experiment with making as many comments as you can when you are with your child. Allow yourself to ask the odd question, however if you emphasize the comments, you will not only inspire your child to make more comments too by modelling how it's done for them but you will also leave room for spontaneous language.
This will help your child share more of themselves, what their thoughts and ideas are, which will really help them be socially successful.
Here is another example:
Child: It's Dora the Explorer!
Facilitator: Ooh, I love Dora, I also love her friend boots because he is a cute little monkey and I love animals.
Child: I love Diego.
Facilitator: me too, I like that he explores different places, what do you love about him?
Child: His hair.
Facilitator: Thanks for sharing that with me.....you know who else I love?
Child: Who?
Facilitator: Shrek!
If you noticed, I specifically made the child's speech shorter than the Facilitators in this example. That's because it's a process and will take time for your child to get the hang of sharing and being spontaneous in your conversations.
In the next conversation you have, whether it's with your special child or not, practice making more comments and asking less questions....you can do it!
No-one wants the Spanish Inquisition! When we are with our children (whether Neuro-Typical or special) we tend ask a lot of questions (e.g. "Are you coloring?", "How many dots does the ladybug have?", "What color is the dog?", etc).
When we are talking to our friends however, we don't simply bombard them with questions. We vary the conversation with a mixture of both questions and comments.
For example:
Me: Hey, I had the best time today
Friend: Really, what did you do?
Me: I went in the playroom with this beautiful child, it was so cool, I joined him for an hour.
Friend: I love that, once I joined a child drawing dots for 2 hours straight.
Me: Oh, I love drawing isms. What have you been up to today?
Friend: Oh I had a great day, I went hiking to Bash Bish Falls.
Me: Bash Bish Falls are so gorgeous.
Friend: I know, I even went for a swim.
Experiment with making as many comments as you can when you are with your child. Allow yourself to ask the odd question, however if you emphasize the comments, you will not only inspire your child to make more comments too by modelling how it's done for them but you will also leave room for spontaneous language.
This will help your child share more of themselves, what their thoughts and ideas are, which will really help them be socially successful.
Here is another example:
Child: It's Dora the Explorer!
Facilitator: Ooh, I love Dora, I also love her friend boots because he is a cute little monkey and I love animals.
Child: I love Diego.
Facilitator: me too, I like that he explores different places, what do you love about him?
Child: His hair.
Facilitator: Thanks for sharing that with me.....you know who else I love?
Child: Who?
Facilitator: Shrek!
If you noticed, I specifically made the child's speech shorter than the Facilitators in this example. That's because it's a process and will take time for your child to get the hang of sharing and being spontaneous in your conversations.
In the next conversation you have, whether it's with your special child or not, practice making more comments and asking less questions....you can do it!
Saturday, April 10, 2010
The Child is Our Teacher
From Amanda: When the Start Up Program is taught here at the Autism Treatment Center of America, one of the key principles taught is "The child is your teacher". This was proven true in a beautiful playroom session I had with an 11 year old boy who was here for his week long Intensive. I was taught an amazing lesson in joining.
One of the techniques we use to be with a child in the playroom is joining as exactly as possible. For example, if a child is laying on their belly with one foot in the air making faces in the mirror, we too, will lay on our belly with one foot in the air while making faces in the mirror. As we join we aren't simply copying the child; We are exploring and investigating why this is useful to the child. Is the pressure on his belly feeling good? Does his foot in the air help balance his body? Are the faces in the mirror a way help him get to know who he is? We don't know the answers to these questions, so joining is a way to get to know the child in his world.
This week in the playroom, I joined a little boy who was isming in a fascinating way. He sat at a table while holding two drum sticks and plastic tea saucer his left hand, and a shiny ball with a picture of Elmo on the front held in his right hand. As he held these objects, he tapped the drum sticks lightly on the ball in a beautiful rhythmical tone. He would sometimes stop tapping on the ball and then tap on the table in the same way. To join him, I grabbed a small soccer ball(because it was the same size as his), two markers (because there were no drum sticks), and a tea cup and saucer. I sat on the floor across from him so he could see me if he wanted to but I moved close to the thresh hold of the door so I could bang the wood at the bottom to make the noises he was hearing. I joined him for about two minutes and then, he gave me an awesome look. I threw my hands in the air and celebrated." Wow! I love those amazing eyes! Thank you for looking at me!" He then looked to the shelf so I celebrated again and responded by running to the shelf to offer him something he may be wanting. Little did I know he was going to offer me something from the shelf.
My friend took the small soccer ball from my hand and put it back on the shelf. He then grabbed a small, shiny ball with a picture of Sponge Bob on it and handed it to me with a smile. I thanked him warmly and watched him sit back in his chair to resume his tapping on the ball. As I sat down to join him, this time I began to look at the ball he gave me more closely. I noticed that as I tapped I could see my reflection in the ball as if it was a mirror. There were also shadows I hadn't seen with the soccer ball. The ball was also smooth and had amazing colors. When I was using the soccer ball, I was missing the key aspects of why this child may have been using the shiny ball.
I don't know why this child ismed with a shiny ball versus a dull ball but I do know that he noticed my ball was different than his. I am guessing that he gave me the shiny ball so I could fully experience what he was experiencing in one way or another. He warmly invited me into his world and helped me perfect the ism.
The child truly is our teacher!
Love,
Amanda
One of the techniques we use to be with a child in the playroom is joining as exactly as possible. For example, if a child is laying on their belly with one foot in the air making faces in the mirror, we too, will lay on our belly with one foot in the air while making faces in the mirror. As we join we aren't simply copying the child; We are exploring and investigating why this is useful to the child. Is the pressure on his belly feeling good? Does his foot in the air help balance his body? Are the faces in the mirror a way help him get to know who he is? We don't know the answers to these questions, so joining is a way to get to know the child in his world.
This week in the playroom, I joined a little boy who was isming in a fascinating way. He sat at a table while holding two drum sticks and plastic tea saucer his left hand, and a shiny ball with a picture of Elmo on the front held in his right hand. As he held these objects, he tapped the drum sticks lightly on the ball in a beautiful rhythmical tone. He would sometimes stop tapping on the ball and then tap on the table in the same way. To join him, I grabbed a small soccer ball(because it was the same size as his), two markers (because there were no drum sticks), and a tea cup and saucer. I sat on the floor across from him so he could see me if he wanted to but I moved close to the thresh hold of the door so I could bang the wood at the bottom to make the noises he was hearing. I joined him for about two minutes and then, he gave me an awesome look. I threw my hands in the air and celebrated." Wow! I love those amazing eyes! Thank you for looking at me!" He then looked to the shelf so I celebrated again and responded by running to the shelf to offer him something he may be wanting. Little did I know he was going to offer me something from the shelf.
My friend took the small soccer ball from my hand and put it back on the shelf. He then grabbed a small, shiny ball with a picture of Sponge Bob on it and handed it to me with a smile. I thanked him warmly and watched him sit back in his chair to resume his tapping on the ball. As I sat down to join him, this time I began to look at the ball he gave me more closely. I noticed that as I tapped I could see my reflection in the ball as if it was a mirror. There were also shadows I hadn't seen with the soccer ball. The ball was also smooth and had amazing colors. When I was using the soccer ball, I was missing the key aspects of why this child may have been using the shiny ball.
I don't know why this child ismed with a shiny ball versus a dull ball but I do know that he noticed my ball was different than his. I am guessing that he gave me the shiny ball so I could fully experience what he was experiencing in one way or another. He warmly invited me into his world and helped me perfect the ism.
The child truly is our teacher!
Love,
Amanda
Friday, April 9, 2010
The Stimulus Called "Ism Mode"
FROM GERD: When I talk to families, sometimes I hear a concern, a worry or an alarm go off when they report that their child has entered an "ism mode". A time when children, often out of the blue, intensify their ism, become more withdrawn, exclusive and/or controlling. It can last a few days or a few weeks at a time.
There can be many different reasons for the children to have the need to take care of themselves by isming more. Perhaps the child was "pushed" too much, or the family moved to a different home, or a significant person left the team or the family, etc. Examining these kinds of possible reasons can be very helpful.
And there are many times when in spite of the most sincere exploration, the answers as to why elude us.
What if we don't' need to know the reasons why...but simply filter the stimulus called "ism mode" through beliefs that help us and the child.
"I TRUST my child to know exactly for how long and how often to ism".
"I UNDERSTAND that my child is climbing a huge mountain and needs to rest on the journey in order to process all the new and challenging information".
"I TRUST my child is taking the time to get closer to loving and meaningful relationships with all the new friends he/she is making".
"I BELIEVE that when my child is ready, he/she will be with me again according to his/her pace, ready for the next level".
"I WILL BE THERE FOR YOU as long as it takes, because I love and accept you no matter what".
"MY CHILD IS DOING HIS/HER BEST to take care of themselves".
Those kinds of belief filters allow us to get back to the true spirit of joining, to find a deeper love and appreciation for the child and after all to feel good about ourselves. Everyone wins.
There can be many different reasons for the children to have the need to take care of themselves by isming more. Perhaps the child was "pushed" too much, or the family moved to a different home, or a significant person left the team or the family, etc. Examining these kinds of possible reasons can be very helpful.
And there are many times when in spite of the most sincere exploration, the answers as to why elude us.
What if we don't' need to know the reasons why...but simply filter the stimulus called "ism mode" through beliefs that help us and the child.
"I TRUST my child to know exactly for how long and how often to ism".
"I UNDERSTAND that my child is climbing a huge mountain and needs to rest on the journey in order to process all the new and challenging information".
"I TRUST my child is taking the time to get closer to loving and meaningful relationships with all the new friends he/she is making".
"I BELIEVE that when my child is ready, he/she will be with me again according to his/her pace, ready for the next level".
"I WILL BE THERE FOR YOU as long as it takes, because I love and accept you no matter what".
"MY CHILD IS DOING HIS/HER BEST to take care of themselves".
Those kinds of belief filters allow us to get back to the true spirit of joining, to find a deeper love and appreciation for the child and after all to feel good about ourselves. Everyone wins.
Playroom High
FROM KATRINA : Okay, I admit it, occasionally I get crabby. I probably just shattered your vision of the Son Rise Program staff,(just teasing) but even we get crabby. On Thursday morning I was like this. My baby girl didn't really sleep well, and I looked at my husband who got to sleep in and I let myself be affected by it. But lucky for me I was able to have a therapy session straight away -that's right, I went in the playroom.
Now, so you know, even before I go in the room, I choose to be excited. I leave my outside life behind at the door, and I go in ready to show the child a world of love! However, going in the room gives me such a high anyway. There is really something about letting yourself go and concentrating on loving another human being with total acceptance. There is no room for self-absorption when you are sharing the joy of life and connection with an autistic child (or adult). Once again, I have to tell you.... I LOVE MY JOB!!
The playroom set my day off right, and when I came back out of the room, I decided to not pick up that crabbiness again. Who needs it after that?
Wishing you all love and fun in the playroom! Have a great weekend!
Love,
Katrina
P.S. For anyone who will be at Maximum Impact next week, I'd love to meet you. I will be greeeting people on Sunday in the Mountain House between 5 and 9 pm.
Now, so you know, even before I go in the room, I choose to be excited. I leave my outside life behind at the door, and I go in ready to show the child a world of love! However, going in the room gives me such a high anyway. There is really something about letting yourself go and concentrating on loving another human being with total acceptance. There is no room for self-absorption when you are sharing the joy of life and connection with an autistic child (or adult). Once again, I have to tell you.... I LOVE MY JOB!!
The playroom set my day off right, and when I came back out of the room, I decided to not pick up that crabbiness again. Who needs it after that?
Wishing you all love and fun in the playroom! Have a great weekend!
Love,
Katrina
P.S. For anyone who will be at Maximum Impact next week, I'd love to meet you. I will be greeeting people on Sunday in the Mountain House between 5 and 9 pm.
Experience the Power of the Moment!!!
From Brandi: A Chapter From The Son-Rise Program
Today I walked into the playroom and saw a beautiful boy sitting in silence with a spoon and ball. I watched his hand rise and fall in a steady motion as the melody of his taps filled the air. His eyes did not look up as I moved towards him. His concentration remained steady and determined as I walked closer. No rhythm was missed or tap lost as I greeted him with a smile. I reached for my own spoon and ball then allowed my hand to rise and fall in a steady motion.
The melody of our taps filled the room as we stared at our spoons. I found myself needing nothing more in that moment. My mind grew silent as we became conductors of our own orchestra of taps. For twenty minutes I opened my mind and soul to being with this wonderful little boy in his world. No thoughts of yesterday or tomorrow filled my head.
I wanted for nothing more than our unique experience together. My love grew so big that goose bumps formed in single file up and down my arms. It was after this rush of love and appreciation that he dropped his spoon, looked at me and then smiled. I needed nothing from him yet he gave me everything. I challenge you to enter the playroom today with no agenda besides enjoying the present moment. Enjoy the power of what it has to offer!!!!!!
Today I walked into the playroom and saw a beautiful boy sitting in silence with a spoon and ball. I watched his hand rise and fall in a steady motion as the melody of his taps filled the air. His eyes did not look up as I moved towards him. His concentration remained steady and determined as I walked closer. No rhythm was missed or tap lost as I greeted him with a smile. I reached for my own spoon and ball then allowed my hand to rise and fall in a steady motion.
The melody of our taps filled the room as we stared at our spoons. I found myself needing nothing more in that moment. My mind grew silent as we became conductors of our own orchestra of taps. For twenty minutes I opened my mind and soul to being with this wonderful little boy in his world. No thoughts of yesterday or tomorrow filled my head.
I wanted for nothing more than our unique experience together. My love grew so big that goose bumps formed in single file up and down my arms. It was after this rush of love and appreciation that he dropped his spoon, looked at me and then smiled. I needed nothing from him yet he gave me everything. I challenge you to enter the playroom today with no agenda besides enjoying the present moment. Enjoy the power of what it has to offer!!!!!!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Helping a child in the bathroom
From Amanda: Many children are in a hurry when they use the bathroom and either forget to wipe or forget to wash their hands. A simple reminder is all it takes with a typical child but what happens when you are working with a child on the Autism Spectrum and they are eager to back to their "favorite thing"? Well, I am going to give you a couple of quick tips that may be helpful to you the next time there is a bathroom break during one of your sessions.
First and foremost, decide to be comfortable in this moment. Anything that happens is perfect for you and for your child. Maybe there is a mess on the floor, or a mess on the child, but how you feel inside doesn't have to feel like a mess at all. Take a deep breath and say "This is great just the way it is."
Know that it's OK to want more for your child. Asking them to take care of their body is a really useful tool they can use for the rest of their lives. Set an intention to really go for this and stick to it. If the intention is to have your child wipe after a poo, or wash their hands, then be passionate and go for it in the most comfortable, loving, and accepting way you possibly can.
Be calm and relaxed with your child. Using physical manipulation or a harsh tone will only create stress for you and your child. If the child is old enough ask them to wipe their own bottom. Be really excited about this as taking care of ourselves is fun. If they aren't old enough, tell your child you are going to help them wipe their bottom so you can keep them healthy and safe. If the child resists you as you try to wipe them or they run off, be sweet and loving as you continue to let them know you want to take care of them. Follow your child and try to go with them as you wipe their behind all while being loving ans sweet. Remember, this is to help your child stay healthy.
As you ask them to wash their hands, give a similar explanation and show them how you wash your hands. Invite them to come to the sink and wash your hands together.Again, if the child goes off to play, invite them back to the sink. Sing a silly "washing our hands" song and show your child how much fun it is to wash. Bring a washcloth to your child if they don't come back to the sink and ask them to put their hands in the cloth so you can give them a nice rub.
As you go on to help your children after their potty sessions, remember to stay calm and loving and be easy with yourself and your child.
Happy bathroom time!
Love,
Amanda
First and foremost, decide to be comfortable in this moment. Anything that happens is perfect for you and for your child. Maybe there is a mess on the floor, or a mess on the child, but how you feel inside doesn't have to feel like a mess at all. Take a deep breath and say "This is great just the way it is."
Know that it's OK to want more for your child. Asking them to take care of their body is a really useful tool they can use for the rest of their lives. Set an intention to really go for this and stick to it. If the intention is to have your child wipe after a poo, or wash their hands, then be passionate and go for it in the most comfortable, loving, and accepting way you possibly can.
Be calm and relaxed with your child. Using physical manipulation or a harsh tone will only create stress for you and your child. If the child is old enough ask them to wipe their own bottom. Be really excited about this as taking care of ourselves is fun. If they aren't old enough, tell your child you are going to help them wipe their bottom so you can keep them healthy and safe. If the child resists you as you try to wipe them or they run off, be sweet and loving as you continue to let them know you want to take care of them. Follow your child and try to go with them as you wipe their behind all while being loving ans sweet. Remember, this is to help your child stay healthy.
As you ask them to wash their hands, give a similar explanation and show them how you wash your hands. Invite them to come to the sink and wash your hands together.Again, if the child goes off to play, invite them back to the sink. Sing a silly "washing our hands" song and show your child how much fun it is to wash. Bring a washcloth to your child if they don't come back to the sink and ask them to put their hands in the cloth so you can give them a nice rub.
As you go on to help your children after their potty sessions, remember to stay calm and loving and be easy with yourself and your child.
Happy bathroom time!
Love,
Amanda
The Power of PERSISTENCE
From William: I have just been editing new video clips of our Son-Rise Program Facilitators to show in our group training programs - The Start-Up, Maximum Impact and New Frontiers. It is so wonderful to see the different children as we work with them - each one is unique in their autism and how they take care of themselves. We have children who flip pages in a book, others that walk around the room, children who can stand as still as a statue as they take the top on and off a pen, children who are super controlling within an interactive activity, etc.
What is also wonderful to see (and I see this not only with our Autism Treatment Center of America staff but also with parents I talk to each week about their Son-Rise Program) is the way that these children are worked with. They are loved, celebrated for exactly who they are and then invited to grow and change.
There was one more aspect of what I saw that I was reminded of. It was the power of PERSISTENCE and how key this is to helping our children. It is in the joining of our children again and again in their world, it is in the celebrating for the thousandth time all of their efforts and achievements and it is also in the asking them again and again and again to take the next step. That's Persistence!
Take a moment and celebrate yourself for this quality for you are amazing, you are committed, you are persistent and you are making a difference.
With love and smile
William
What is also wonderful to see (and I see this not only with our Autism Treatment Center of America staff but also with parents I talk to each week about their Son-Rise Program) is the way that these children are worked with. They are loved, celebrated for exactly who they are and then invited to grow and change.
There was one more aspect of what I saw that I was reminded of. It was the power of PERSISTENCE and how key this is to helping our children. It is in the joining of our children again and again in their world, it is in the celebrating for the thousandth time all of their efforts and achievements and it is also in the asking them again and again and again to take the next step. That's Persistence!
Take a moment and celebrate yourself for this quality for you are amazing, you are committed, you are persistent and you are making a difference.
With love and smile
William
A Game Idea: Bowling!
FROM KATE: Hello to everyone! I hope you are all having a wonderful time with your children - enjoying your play time together.
This week we have another exciting game idea for you - it's time to go bowling! Many of our children already love bowling (or skittles) - so this game idea will help you use bowling to teach social skills. And, for any children who don't already have an interest in bowling - it's important that we offer a variety of games to our children - so give this one a try.
Wishing you all a wonderful week in the playroom!
With love,
Kate
This week we have another exciting game idea for you - it's time to go bowling! Many of our children already love bowling (or skittles) - so this game idea will help you use bowling to teach social skills. And, for any children who don't already have an interest in bowling - it's important that we offer a variety of games to our children - so give this one a try.
Wishing you all a wonderful week in the playroom!
With love,
Kate
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Do You Want to Learn More About Your Child?
FROM KATRINA: Hello friends,
This week in the Son-Rise Program Intensive we have a handsome young man. He is not as obvious as some kids in his interests. He will not walk up to you and hand you a toy or look at you and request an item off of the shelf. No, my new friend is a little more enigmatic than that. How than can I connect? How will I find out what will make him purr with excitement? I will tell you! Through joining!
Joining is one of the easiest ways I have found to learn more about a child and what they like, how they possibly feel, and what they want their world to be like. Take for example this young man. Yesterday in my session he tapped two sticks together, sometimes on the therapy ball and scrunched up his nose. What could I take from this? Well when I did it myself I thought: perhaps he scrunches his nose because he likes pressure on the front of his head, perhaps he has a fondness for long objects, maybe he likes vibrations and rythmical predictable movement. We can learn so much about our children by doing what they do and seeing what we see and feel. Then, when they give us an opportunity(a green light) we can offer them a game based on these motivations. When he looked at me, I began drumming like a rockstar (based on his possible intrest in vibrations) and he smiled at me, we played an 8 minute game!
I once had a mother tell me before a Start Up that she learned more about her child in joining him for 1/2 an hour than she had known his whole life. Wow! That is so inspiring! How wonderful that this mother had the opportunity to get to know her child in a deeper way!
Please feel free to share what you have learned about your child through joining!
Love to you all,
Katrina
P.S. To any of you who are coming to Maximum Impact, I would love to meet you. I will be greeting people in the Mountain House this Sunday between 5-9pm!
This week in the Son-Rise Program Intensive we have a handsome young man. He is not as obvious as some kids in his interests. He will not walk up to you and hand you a toy or look at you and request an item off of the shelf. No, my new friend is a little more enigmatic than that. How than can I connect? How will I find out what will make him purr with excitement? I will tell you! Through joining!
Joining is one of the easiest ways I have found to learn more about a child and what they like, how they possibly feel, and what they want their world to be like. Take for example this young man. Yesterday in my session he tapped two sticks together, sometimes on the therapy ball and scrunched up his nose. What could I take from this? Well when I did it myself I thought: perhaps he scrunches his nose because he likes pressure on the front of his head, perhaps he has a fondness for long objects, maybe he likes vibrations and rythmical predictable movement. We can learn so much about our children by doing what they do and seeing what we see and feel. Then, when they give us an opportunity(a green light) we can offer them a game based on these motivations. When he looked at me, I began drumming like a rockstar (based on his possible intrest in vibrations) and he smiled at me, we played an 8 minute game!
I once had a mother tell me before a Start Up that she learned more about her child in joining him for 1/2 an hour than she had known his whole life. Wow! That is so inspiring! How wonderful that this mother had the opportunity to get to know her child in a deeper way!
Please feel free to share what you have learned about your child through joining!
Love to you all,
Katrina
P.S. To any of you who are coming to Maximum Impact, I would love to meet you. I will be greeting people in the Mountain House this Sunday between 5-9pm!
Language - Part 2: Create Connection First
FROM BECKY: Hi Everyone, Have you ever experienced your special child being robotic in the way they talk, saying sentences that are mechanical sounding with little or no inflection in their tone of voice. I have experienced working with many children at The Autism Treatment Center of America and previously as a volunteer in The Son-Rise Program.
Remember when you were a young child and your parent told you "Say Thank you!" when someone did something nice for you or bought you a gift? I certainly do and I remember also saying it....but not really meaning it. The thing is, I had not really learnt the concept of gratitude yet so therefore was not coming from a sincere place and was more rehearsed, just because my Mum told me to say it. I was not really connected to that person or the experience but more moving toward what I wanted.
Later in life, I actually learned to love it when people offered a kind gesture or did something respectful, I learnt to want to communicate that to them so they knew how I felt and now when I say it, I really sincerely mean it.
In my experience, the biggest step toward helping your child be less robotic in their speech is to prioritize working on the connection first. Think about how your child learnt to talk to you, was it through you requesting them to say it? If so then it is not coming from a spontaneous place inside of them but more to get needs met versus to create a shared experience or connect with another human being.
Try dropping the requests for a while and celebrating and responding hugely when they are spontaneously deciding to use their voice. Whether they are clear in what they say or it is grammatically or contextually correct doesn't matter so much as building a desire in your child to want to talk.
Spontaneous language is much more natural sounding and so let's make a big deal out of that and show them we love it, and that they are successful at the same time.
Remember when you were a young child and your parent told you "Say Thank you!" when someone did something nice for you or bought you a gift? I certainly do and I remember also saying it....but not really meaning it. The thing is, I had not really learnt the concept of gratitude yet so therefore was not coming from a sincere place and was more rehearsed, just because my Mum told me to say it. I was not really connected to that person or the experience but more moving toward what I wanted.
Later in life, I actually learned to love it when people offered a kind gesture or did something respectful, I learnt to want to communicate that to them so they knew how I felt and now when I say it, I really sincerely mean it.
In my experience, the biggest step toward helping your child be less robotic in their speech is to prioritize working on the connection first. Think about how your child learnt to talk to you, was it through you requesting them to say it? If so then it is not coming from a spontaneous place inside of them but more to get needs met versus to create a shared experience or connect with another human being.
Try dropping the requests for a while and celebrating and responding hugely when they are spontaneously deciding to use their voice. Whether they are clear in what they say or it is grammatically or contextually correct doesn't matter so much as building a desire in your child to want to talk.
Spontaneous language is much more natural sounding and so let's make a big deal out of that and show them we love it, and that they are successful at the same time.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Language - Part 1: Conversation Skills
FROM BECKY: Hey There Lovely People! Since working here at The Autism Treatment Center of America, I have had hundreds of conversations with different children and adults on the Autism Spectrum using The Son-Rise Program.
My next series of blogs are going to be about working on language with your verbal children to develop more spontaneous speech, inspire more of a desire to use language in a communicative way and working on conversational skills.
1) Pause, Pause, Pause! Make sure to leave plenty of space to give your child a chance to respond to what you are saying. In a world of cell-phones, digital cameras and satellite TV, we are used to expecting things to happen instantly and in this case our children need plenty of time to process.
Instead of waiting one second and then assuming your child isn't going to respond, try waiting 30 seconds and see what happens, you may be pleasantly surprised. When we pause, we leave a window of opportunity for our child to be spontaneous or honor our request. It is hugely respectful and shows that we believe in our child.
If it doesn't happen the first time, then try again later. The more space you leave, the more chance you have of your child talking to you.
Think about a time you have shared with a friend or loved one recently, over dinner or a cup of tea. There are natural pauses in the flow of the conversation, you don't always need to be filling every gap.
More coming soon........................
My next series of blogs are going to be about working on language with your verbal children to develop more spontaneous speech, inspire more of a desire to use language in a communicative way and working on conversational skills.
1) Pause, Pause, Pause! Make sure to leave plenty of space to give your child a chance to respond to what you are saying. In a world of cell-phones, digital cameras and satellite TV, we are used to expecting things to happen instantly and in this case our children need plenty of time to process.
Instead of waiting one second and then assuming your child isn't going to respond, try waiting 30 seconds and see what happens, you may be pleasantly surprised. When we pause, we leave a window of opportunity for our child to be spontaneous or honor our request. It is hugely respectful and shows that we believe in our child.
If it doesn't happen the first time, then try again later. The more space you leave, the more chance you have of your child talking to you.
Think about a time you have shared with a friend or loved one recently, over dinner or a cup of tea. There are natural pauses in the flow of the conversation, you don't always need to be filling every gap.
More coming soon........................
Sunday, April 4, 2010
The Power of Being an Irresistible Magnet
FROM GERD: Every time I go into any Son-Rise Playroom, I firmly believe that I am the most powerful irresistible magnet in the world. I believe without a shadow of a doubt that I will be so exciting, attractive, compelling and inviting that the child will not be able to resist, but will want to be with me.
Sooner or later, the child will not be able to look away, but will turn to me because I am a magnet of unconditional love. The child cannot help him/herself and will want to make the extraordinary effort to look at me, touch me, talk to me and interact with me because the attitude that I have adopted within myself is simply irresistible.
I can literally see some of the children go back and forth..."I want to stay with my ism, but this guy is so much fun, I'd rather check him out"..."Wow, that was so much fun, I have to go back and ism for a bit, but no for long, I don't want to miss out on this guy"..."I just can't stop looking at him, he's really silly," or "Wow, I feel so loved a safe, I'd rather be with him than in my own world."
Every expression on my face, every silly voice that I sound out, every goofy movement that I have so much fun performing, the child has no chance but to be drawn to me...and that is my unshakable belief.
Try it on just for the fun of it.
Sooner or later, the child will not be able to look away, but will turn to me because I am a magnet of unconditional love. The child cannot help him/herself and will want to make the extraordinary effort to look at me, touch me, talk to me and interact with me because the attitude that I have adopted within myself is simply irresistible.
I can literally see some of the children go back and forth..."I want to stay with my ism, but this guy is so much fun, I'd rather check him out"..."Wow, that was so much fun, I have to go back and ism for a bit, but no for long, I don't want to miss out on this guy"..."I just can't stop looking at him, he's really silly," or "Wow, I feel so loved a safe, I'd rather be with him than in my own world."
Every expression on my face, every silly voice that I sound out, every goofy movement that I have so much fun performing, the child has no chance but to be drawn to me...and that is my unshakable belief.
Try it on just for the fun of it.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Being Present AND Relaxed
From William: Over the last few weeks I have really focused on being present in every moment of my day to day life (having a shower, shaving, making breakfast, working at my desk, etc.). It requires a great deal of determination and persistence to keep coming back to the present moment especially after the thousandth time of thinking about something else, that is either in the past or in the future.
I feel like it has become easier the longer I keep showing myself that is where I want to be - in the present. The next step I took was to focus on being more relaxed when in the present moment. Again, the more I persisted (in an easy non-pushy way) on just relaxing with the present moment the easier it became. I have to say being present AND relaxed feels so good.
Have fun relaxing with the present moment - it's all we have, the rest is just a mental process, thoughts of what has happened or what might happen.
With love and smiles
William
I feel like it has become easier the longer I keep showing myself that is where I want to be - in the present. The next step I took was to focus on being more relaxed when in the present moment. Again, the more I persisted (in an easy non-pushy way) on just relaxing with the present moment the easier it became. I have to say being present AND relaxed feels so good.
Have fun relaxing with the present moment - it's all we have, the rest is just a mental process, thoughts of what has happened or what might happen.
With love and smiles
William
Celebrating a Full Recovery with The Son-Rise Program
We are delighted to share an inspiring "before and after" video with you documenting the full Autism recovery of a remarkable young man named Simon, thanks to his parents never giving up hope for their son. We applaud Simon’s amazing Son-Rise Mom Shelley, who so generously offered us footage of young Simon in the throes of Autism and slowly emerging in the playroom. Simon and his parents exhibit extraordinary love and strength in choosing to share with the world this lovely story of Autism recovery.
Shelley and her husband send a message to us all:
"We are thrilled knowing that other families will hear Simon's words and find their way to The Son-Rise Program! We join Simon in hoping that he will inspire others to know the gifts of the program’s love in our lives, and to realize that it's not about how severe the child may be- it's about loving your child unconditionally and letting go of the feelings of burden, of the judgments that can arise. Years ago, I was told by one of your Son-Rise Program teachers that by growing up with the principles of this program, many of the children he had worked with would go on to lead 'extraordinary lives.' Today, at 19, Simon is an authentic, loving, introspective person, truly a young Son-Rise Program child growing into his future. He has chosen an amazing university, has already made friendships and has become part of the community. He is a member of many clubs, with Improv being pretty close to the top of his list… And for the people who want to say 'Simon’s parents did it, but I can't', I would say that they would do well to listen to Simon’s words again...we were there, and as we followed his lead, he showed us the way! I know how grateful I am to have lived these last 18 years with The Son-Rise Program and The Option Process®, and what they teach in my daily life."
The Autism Treatment Center of America is thrilled to support World Autism Awareness Day April 2, and Autism Awareness month in April. To commemorate, we recognize our lifelong celebration of AUTISM RECOVERY and salute the thousands of parents around the world like Shelley and her husband who stand tall and steadfast in their hope for their children’s future. To that end, please have a look and enjoy Simon’s heartwarming video:
To help us launch the video and spread Simon’s word of hope and recovery far and wide, you can do the following:
• Forward this email to everyone on your email contact list. 1 in every 100 children in the USA and 1 in every 50 in the UK are diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum - this means that someone in your direct network will know someone with Autism.
• Post the video clips on your Facebook wall for all your friends to see. Someone in your network has been touched by Autism and could benefit and learn from the video clip.
• Share the video clip in your groups. Whether you are part of an online group such as Yahoo or Facebook, or a face-to-face parenting group, share the word!
• Go to YouTube.com/AutismTreatment and subscribe to our own AutismTreatment channel. All you have to do is hit the "subscribe" button. If you don't already have a YouTube account, it's easy to sign up. Click here for easy-to-follow video instructions.
• And make sure to rate and comment on our videos. Your feedback is so very valuable!
Please help us to reach out to other parents around the world, and let's continue to share with each other and support each other as we enter Autism Awareness Month!
We're so pleased . . . and very, very grateful.
Love and smiles.
Shelley and her husband send a message to us all:
"We are thrilled knowing that other families will hear Simon's words and find their way to The Son-Rise Program! We join Simon in hoping that he will inspire others to know the gifts of the program’s love in our lives, and to realize that it's not about how severe the child may be- it's about loving your child unconditionally and letting go of the feelings of burden, of the judgments that can arise. Years ago, I was told by one of your Son-Rise Program teachers that by growing up with the principles of this program, many of the children he had worked with would go on to lead 'extraordinary lives.' Today, at 19, Simon is an authentic, loving, introspective person, truly a young Son-Rise Program child growing into his future. He has chosen an amazing university, has already made friendships and has become part of the community. He is a member of many clubs, with Improv being pretty close to the top of his list… And for the people who want to say 'Simon’s parents did it, but I can't', I would say that they would do well to listen to Simon’s words again...we were there, and as we followed his lead, he showed us the way! I know how grateful I am to have lived these last 18 years with The Son-Rise Program and The Option Process®, and what they teach in my daily life."
The Autism Treatment Center of America is thrilled to support World Autism Awareness Day April 2, and Autism Awareness month in April. To commemorate, we recognize our lifelong celebration of AUTISM RECOVERY and salute the thousands of parents around the world like Shelley and her husband who stand tall and steadfast in their hope for their children’s future. To that end, please have a look and enjoy Simon’s heartwarming video:
To help us launch the video and spread Simon’s word of hope and recovery far and wide, you can do the following:
• Forward this email to everyone on your email contact list. 1 in every 100 children in the USA and 1 in every 50 in the UK are diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum - this means that someone in your direct network will know someone with Autism.
• Post the video clips on your Facebook wall for all your friends to see. Someone in your network has been touched by Autism and could benefit and learn from the video clip.
• Share the video clip in your groups. Whether you are part of an online group such as Yahoo or Facebook, or a face-to-face parenting group, share the word!
• Go to YouTube.com/AutismTreatment and subscribe to our own AutismTreatment channel. All you have to do is hit the "subscribe" button. If you don't already have a YouTube account, it's easy to sign up. Click here for easy-to-follow video instructions.
• And make sure to rate and comment on our videos. Your feedback is so very valuable!
Please help us to reach out to other parents around the world, and let's continue to share with each other and support each other as we enter Autism Awareness Month!
We're so pleased . . . and very, very grateful.
Love and smiles.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Happy Autism Awareness Month!
FROM BECKY: Since working at The Autism Treatment Center of America and many years of volunteering in different playrooms, I have learned to face many fears over that time. The Son-Rise Program playroom has not only been a place for growth in the children I work with but also incredible growth in me.
One of the areas I have stretched myself over the years is to be BIGGER both in and out of the playroom. When I say bigger, I don't mean by eating more french fries and ice-cream (for those of you who know me, I have actually become smaller, in my physical frame), what I mean is daring to be who I am, to let my light shine, trust myself and to believe that I have something to offer!
One way in which I kept myself small has been to be what I call a "Closet Musician", that means I have been playing music and singing in private since I was a child because I have been too scared to show that side of myself to those around me.
Recently I have begun to emerge from this closet gradually by writing and playing songs to those around me and even forming my own band along with Son-Rise Facilitators Susan Humphries and Brandi Davis.
Tomorrow night we are holding a benefit gig during which we will perform some of our songs to up to 150 people in honor of Autism awareness. All the proceeds will go to The Autism treatment Center of America.
The reason that I am willing to spread my wings, drop my guard and take this daring action is because I want to practice what I preach! I am constantly inspired by the children and parents that I work with every day who look their challenges in the face and break through walls. This is my way of showing you that I am with you all the way!
Above is the poster for anyone who can make it. This benefit was organized by Tammy Chapman and Chris Merenda, staff here at The Option Institute.
A Building Idea
FROM KATE: Hello Everyone! I write to you from my office here At The Autism Treatment Center of America, with the sun shinning through my window. It is very early in the morning, and we have a beautiful 5 year old girl with autism here at The Son-Rise Program Intensive, her and her family have come to us all the way from Australia, and I look forward to a beautiful day full of learning and creativity.
This weeks video blog talks about a simple building idea that will make US more interesting to our children as we respond in our usual "Son-Rise Program User Friendly way" as they request us to get them things from the shelf.
If you are on face book right now, just click on the title of this blog, then on "View original blog"' and then on the video itself, otherwise just click on the video below, or visit our YouTube channel where all the other video blogs are store for you and your volunteers convenience.
Much love to you all
Kate
This weeks video blog talks about a simple building idea that will make US more interesting to our children as we respond in our usual "Son-Rise Program User Friendly way" as they request us to get them things from the shelf.
If you are on face book right now, just click on the title of this blog, then on "View original blog"' and then on the video itself, otherwise just click on the video below, or visit our YouTube channel where all the other video blogs are store for you and your volunteers convenience.
Much love to you all
Kate
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