Gratitude, Attitude, and Studentship

FROM JAMIE: Oh my.....the opportunities to be grateful are everywhere! This last month has been a tough month for me. My daughter, Tyler, has been screaming out (as told in previous post) and crying and I don't know what's wrong. She is changing a lot it seems. Wanting things in different spots, wanting people in her Son-Rise Program to leave, wanting me to not be in the playroom, and so on. When she points me out of the room, I decide ATTITUDE! I stay comfortable and let her know we're only going to do what she wants to do. She allows me to stay in the room :) GRATEFUL!

I have, on the other hand, found myself outside of the playroom feeling the pressures of not knowing what to do and am i doing the right thing. what should i do? and what do you know - FEAR becomes my focus - ugh! I feel like i could have a heart attack and die any day. BUT, in jumps STUDENTSHIP! I go toward my fear and work through it the best i can. GRATEFUL! I want so much for Tyler that I have committed to being a student at all times. I send a message out to my Son-Rise Wide Awake team for help and suggestions to further my studentship on making Tyler's team a better team and re-enforcing my wants with Tyler's Son-Rise Program. And guess what came screaming out to me - ATTITUDE! Of course, I knew that......hmmmm why am i not putting that first? Great question to myself! But again, I am GRATEFUL to my Son-Rise Wide Awake team for furthering my STUDENTSHIP!

With much much LOVE and GRATITUDE, Rae
p.s. I have posted under Jamie, Jamie Rae.....but I like Rae :) I'll stick to that one

Choosing a Therapy for My Son Jordan: ABA or Son Rise

FROM ALISON: I have been watching the video clip of Raun K Kaufman and Scott Fraize and seeing the subsequent discussion on Son Rise v's ABA appearing on Bears facebook wall and the YOUtube forum. Whatever therapy we choose for our child, it is a choice that we take for them, so it is imperative to make it in an informed way. This is my story of how I decided to do Son Rise.

I remember very clearly the day that I took my 2 year old son Jordan to the hospital to find out why he didn't speak or respond to anything I said to him. I thought he was deaf so I was completely shocked when the paediatric team's assessment of him was that he had autism. I drove home completely numb not knowing what to do next because they delivered the bombshell and then sent me on my way with only an information leaflet from the National Autistic Society. Reading this, I found that they said that Jordan might never talk, never have friends, never be potty trained, never have a job, never get married etc. I decided that I didn't want to believe what they said, and so after a while, after I got over the shock, I started to look for ways to help him. I spent nights scouring the internet looking for answers. I found so many options all claiming to help, but clearly I couldn't do all of them, so I had to choose.

So I bought books, I now have a bookcase full of books on autism including one called 'Teaching developmentally disabled children The ME book' by O Ivar Lovaas. This book teaches a method of therapy called Applied Behaviour Analysis - ABA and claimed a high percentage of success using its methods, so I read on....

This is what I read for the first lesson:

page 45 "for certain children learning to sit correctly in a chair is their first learning experience. It can be a very gratifying experience for everyone. Work to get this kind of control before you go on to other programs" The technique for this first lesson is as follows:

"Step 1 choose a chair that is suitable for the child's size. Place the chair directly behind the child.

Step 2 give the child the command sit down and then help the child (push him or otherwise prompt him by physically placing him) in the chair.

Step 3 Reward the child with praise or food when he is seated."

So what happens if the child doesn't stay in the chair that he was pushed into?

"Step 6 If he gets up before you want him to, forcefully (perhaps with aversives) place him back in the seat so that he will become apprehensive about getting out of the chair without your permission to do so"

It was clear to me that no matter how successful this therapy was, that I didn't want it for myself or my child. The end result did not justify the means in my opinion, I was never going to force my son into a chair.

Some of the aversives that the ME book suggests include slapping the child, slapping the table in front of the child, or shouting 'no' which according to pg 51 should sound like 'hells fury'. The picture at the top left of this blog is of my son shortly before he received his diagnosis, I cannot imagine looking into his eyes and doing 'hells fury' for anything let alone just choosing to get out of a chair. I would not want to use these techniques to train a dog let alone my son who was already overwhelmed by his surroundings and lost to me.

The book goes on to describe how behaviours like rocking and hand flapping (which I believe are curative to a child) are to be suppressed during teaching time which is between 6 - 8 hours per day, every day.

I have noticed that many of the websites about ABA kind of skirt over these issues and emphasize all the things that can be taught using ABA, but make no mistake about it, these things are very much a part of the teaching techniques and Lovass writings especially the ME book are recommended reading.

So I chose Son Rise for Jordan because it is loving and respectful, giving meaning and honour to his choices of activity because I believe that they are purposeful and useful to him. Jordan has flourished in his Son Rise Program and is now a very loving affectionate boy who operates daily on a very sophisticated level. So I will continue his Son Rise program until the day when he no longer needs it.

Velro Hoop

From kate Wilde: A great idea for your Son-Rise Program Playrooms.

To see this fun build idea presented by our talented Son-Rise Program child facilitator Jack Goodall, just click on the video below, or if you are on face book right now, click on the title of this blog, then on "view original blog" then on the video itself.

Love to you all
Kate

Day Four: Live from the UK Son-Rise Program Start-Up

From William Hogan: It was so wonderful and beautiful to see the participants faces today during our afternoon class. They were animated and bright eyed as they practiced explaining what they had learned already this week so they could be prepared to share it with their family and friends and other teachers and professionals. I was struck by how much more relaxed and self confident, and energetic they seemed now. I remembered their faces Monday morning - tight, tired, sad, and weary...what a difference now!

I feel very fortunate that this is my life, that I get to do this. I get to help people. I do my best to help them with something that I feel so strongly about, that I've done myself, that I've used with my child. I feel that I am really and truly giving them something. I feel lucky in this life to be able to give them The Son-Rise Program.

With best wishes and smiles,

William

Day Three: Live from the UK Son-Rise Program Start-Up

From Carolina: There is something magical that happens in the Son-Rise Program Start-Up classroom on Wednesday.. It seems to be the day on which parents begin to passionately express how hopeful they have become for their children. Parents pull us aside before class - not just to share examples of how the techniques are working - but to share their belief that anything is possible for their children. One mom said to me this morning - "I'm so excited about this week - it has been so amazing - but not only because I have so many techniques to help him...I now know that I can accomplish anything through persistence."

Here are just a few of the stories we heard this morning from parents who are seeing the results of believing that anything is possible...

"My son usually communicates by pulling or pushing us with his hands - and we usually respond to this, but last night when he pulled me toward the bubbles, I stopped and asked him, "Do you want the bubbles? Can you say bubbles?" and he said, "bleurghhh" - and I was so excited I gave him a huge celebration. I repeated this throughout the evening and he kept repeating, "bleurghhh" in response. Myself and the whole family continued celebrating him so he kept asking for things to get our celebrations."

"I decided that I was NOT going to feel tired when I went home last night - I wanted to have the 3Es with my son. So I prepared myself on the way home and when I got home, I was able to have more energy than I ever thought I could have after a long day. I joined my son, had the 3Es and over the course of the evening I calculated about 90 minutes of eye contact from him! And then, this morning, as I was leaving to go to class, he said, "mama" spontaneously!"

It is such an incredible experience to watch parents begin to have hope again - and to see the power of that hope. We feel so lucky to be here!

From Kate Wilde: Breaking News!

From Kate Wilde:I am excited to announce that over the next couple of weeks we will be airing on YouTube some fun and interesting Son-Rise Program commercials. There are 10 in all, and they are spoofs on the Mac verse PC commercials by Apple, only in our case it is The Son-Rise Program verses ABA!

Each one was designed, written and created by the very first Son-Rise Program child, Raun Kaufman.

You have just got to see them! They are hilarious, direct and to the point! We have created them in the hope that they will generate lots of discussion and debate about parent's right to choose the treatment they feel is best for their autistic children, and the differences between The Son-Rise Program and ABA.

Each commercial is only a minute or so long, so spread the word. Send them to friends, family members, professionals who work with your children. Your local MP's or members of congress, everyone you know. Post them on your Facebook wall, help us spread the word across the world.

The link below will take you to the very first one:

YouTube.com/watch?v=N6CWf9H7F8k

Enjoy and pass them on.

With love to you all,
Kate

From Becky: What is my purpose?

This is a question that has come up in discussions recently when working with wonderful parents and volunteers in The Son-Rise Program.

Is my purpose in the playroom to position for eye contact? To request language? To catch every green light?, to join at the perfect distance?

Or.........

is it to build a loving relationship with my child?, to be as accepting to myself and my child as possible? To be comfortable and present? To relax and have a good time?

The list goes on.........

Sometimes we can get so caught up in the technical side of things that we forget to focus on the attitude.

The very core of the The Son-Rise Program is the attitude! When I am in the attitude and see that as my purpose when working with children and parents, I have unstop able creativity and ideas flowing out of my pores.

Ask yourself, what is my purpose? the next time you go to work with your child. Re-define it for yourself, when you choose to have a purpose that is attitudinal versus technical, the techniques and your creativity will endlessly pore from you because you will be relaxed and present and therefore see what your child is doing with new eyes.

From Katrina: I'm back!

From Katrina: Hello all of you amazing people! I am excited to be back to work at the Autism Treatment Center of America after taking a 3 month hiatus to be with my beautiful new baby, Kyla.

Joining the ranks of motherhood has probably been easier I think, since I have been trained in the Son Rise program. So much that I have learned has proven extra effective in parenting at home. For example:

On my very first day with Kyla she would not eat. I tried many people's suggestions, but Kyla just wouldn't do it. We even took her to the doctor who gave us some ideas that still would not work. I was putting a lot of pressure on myself, in order to be a "good" mother I had to get my child to eat. Everyone was watching me and waiting for Kyla to perform. Finally, at the end of the day the midwife left me alone to relax, she said to not worry and just enjoy my baby. When she left, I let go of my need to "control" the situation. I could feel the tension ease out of my body. Literally the second I did this, Kyla decided to eat.

Like Kyla, many nonverbal or autistic children can sense our moods. When we try to put pressure on them to do something our way, they resist. Yet, when we give them the control, accept them no matter what, and still go for what we want, they are more likely to do it. This is what I love about the Son Rise program. We put the power in the child's hands. This is so much more motivating for them ... and it works for me!

I'm excited to be with you all again and back in that magical playroom!
Lots of Love,
Katrina

Day Two: Live from the UK Son-Rise Program Start-Up!!

They are already changing....

After only one day, you can see it. They are smiling and raising their hands with questions and 'jumping in' to the experience.

They have started to become a family already. They are laughing together, and sometimes crying together and it is such a beautiful thing to behold. I am never tired of this experience or take for granted how blessed I am to know The Son-Rise Program and to be able to share it with others.


This morning William asked them, "Did anyone try any Son-Rise Program Techniques last night?"

Here are some of their replies:

"This morning I went to my three year old, Carolina, and focused on positioning myself for eye contact. I put some of my lipstick on her lips, and she kissed me. Usually, she has a tantrum when I leave the house, but this morning, when I said goodbye, she didn't cry!"

"My son typically swears quite often. We were outside playing football and he swore. Instead of what I usually do, I acknowledged that I heard him, but gave him no big reaction. He then came over to me and repeated the sentence without the swear word. I did a big celebration. Then, this morning, he went to swear and then actually stopped himself and looked to me for a celebration - so I did! It was great!"

"My son always pulls my hair and hurts me. Last night, I tried not to give him any reaction when he began to pull my hair. He then played with my hair GENTLY for about 25 minutes. Eventually, he kissed me and went away calmly. That is the first
time that ever happened. Also, when I used the Three E's with him (Energy, Excitment and Enthusiasm) he looked at me and I could tell how much he loved me."

"Last night our meal was a huge party! Josh was looking at us, but not through us as in the past, there was a connection."

On and on they shared....this after only one full day in the program.

Today they learned about the Son-Rise Program technique of joining...for so many of them, it was a revelation. They seemed to really understand the importance of 'going with' instead of 'going against' our children. The beauty of using the repetitious behavior (or 'ism') as a bridge between ourselves and our children. The importance of using our Joining to share our love and acceptance, in a language our children can understand. We shared so much with them about how to encourage language, and to help their children who are verbal to use language to communicate...I can't wait to hear what they tell us tomorrow!

Stay Tuned....
With much joy,
Bryn

Day One: Live from the UK Son-Rise Program Start-Up

From Bryn: I stood in front of 172 individuals. They were from countries such as the Czech Republic, Nigeria, Croatia, Australia, Bosnia and others. They practiced different religions, spoke different languages and were every shade of color. At a glance, they looked as though they they were extremely different from one another. Yet, they had more in common with each other than they did with most of their neighbors.

They represented children ranging in age from 2-33 years. These children had diagnosis such as Autism, Epilepsy, Sensory Integration Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome, Global Developmental Delay and others. They had come to attend The Son-Rise Program Start-Up because they wanted help for their children and most of all, as one woman said when asked why she most hoped to get from the week, "Hope".


This morning, before we began to teach, they told us:

"Since we started using the techniques he is more open to us, he has started to use words to ask for things, even in the last few days, he has started answering questions! He's more loving with his siblings and he has started to laugh again."

"Using the Son-Rise Program techniques that we learned from books and videos has helped Nathan to change so much. He has gone from no eye contact and all language gone, back to higher eye contact, and lots of words. He is now playful and cooperative - we are amazed!"

"We used the techniques for two weeks over the Christmas holiday and he started to speak. We saw him change so much, we decided not send him back to school, this is the program for us."

"Two days after I attended Raun Kaufman's lecture I started to use the techniques...two days later, my son, who is 'non-verbal' said, 'I love you'."

I told the groups that The Son-Rise Program I did with my daughter Jade when she was autistic was the greatest experience of my life. William and I feel so blessed to be here and to offer these families a glimpse of the possibilities that await them.

And so it begins...their adventure with The Son-Rise Program and with their child...

With so much joy,
Bryn

Making Yourself Understood

From Kate Wilde:Some of our children on the Autism Spectrum have a large vocabulary and can verbally engage using complex sentences, but still have a challenge making themselves understood. They may relay a story to you about something that happened and leave our vital information, thus not making much sense to you. You might experience them sharing a story to someone about something that happened when you were there, but the other person was not. You understand what they are trying to say just because you were there not from their words alone.

The Son- Rise Program Developmental model http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/contents/other_sections/developmental_model.php
will help you assess whether your child is at the stage where we would suggest you begin to work on this skill, if this is the case, then below are some games that you can use to help your child strengthen this skill. If not, do read on as these games can be adapted to the goals you are working on with your child.

Only use your words.

• Create pictures that your child looks at and then has to get you to draw the exact same picture by only using their words.
• Create an obstacle course together with your child, then blind fold yourself and have your child guide your around the course by only using their words.
• Take turns being the talker and the listener.

The above game ideas will help your child strengthen their ability to use language to convey all the information needed, and see the literal effect of what happens when they do not give all the info - for example a different picture is drawn,- or you are not able to do the obstacle course. For children who learn visually this is excellent.

When, Who , What?

• Create stories together that have these three components, when did it happen, who was there, and what exactly took place.
• To begin with you can create stories that are written on three different cards, on the first card it is entitled, WHEN you just write when it happen, and then the second card is WHO which states who was there, and third card say with WHAT happened. Bring them in and read them to your child, highlighting the three important pieces of information each story has.
• Make the stories fun, following your child motivations, if your child is into Dora the Explorer make it about one of her adventures.
• Make up stories together, using the sequence of When, Who and Where.
• When you share your own stories make it clear that you are sharing first when, then who and then where etc.

Thank you to however wrote and asked for a blog on this topic, you did not leave your name, but I hope you read this and that it is helpful to you!

With love

Kate

Mister Man Game

From Kate Wilde: To all you amazing parents who have children on the autism spectrum, The Autism Treatment Center of America sends you another creative idea.

Just click on the video below, or if you are on face book right now click on the title of this blog, then on "view original blog" then on the video itself.

Know that we are here believing in you and your children, supporting you all the way!!
Much love to you
Kate

From Alison: A lesson in making up beliefs from Jordan

Jordan is my teacher, I learn so much from him. This weeks lesson was about my level of belief in what is possible.
We have a recruitment campaign for some new volunteers for our Son Rise program going on at the moment, We are down to one volunteer and so want to find some new people. So I created a poster and printed off 100 copies. I planned to take it into the university in Ipswich, which is near where we live and so I wrote a letter to go with it explaining to the tutors how useful it would be for students to know about this so that they could volunteer. Jordan has done so well on his Son Rise program that he is now wanting some new friends and so he offered to help me collate the letter with the poster and fix them together with a paper clip. While he was doing this he was counting the number of posters, then he looked at me and said "Jordan is going to have lots of new friends now because we are sending out lots of invitations" He was imagining how each of these posters would land in the hands of someone who would be his friend. I however had printed off 100 because I thought that some would end up in the bin, some would be ignored, some lost and a few would get through. Out of 100 my belief was that about 5 people would respond. Even though neither of us had any evidence to support our belief I had chosen to limit my belief in what was possible. Out of Jordan and me, Jordan had the better experience of recruiting because he was excitedly expecting 100 new friends. So I started to imagine getting 100 e mails from people offering to help us with our program - how wonderful that would be. But until we get a response, our experience is going to be determined by our make up about what is possible and I am now going with Jordan's view. I am so grateful to Jordan for this weeks lesson.

From Becky: Repetitious Games

Hi Everyone!

At the weekend I went to a wonderful family's home to work with them and their indredible twin boys using The Son-Rise Program. While I was there, a question about repetitious games came up. One of their boys liked to take their hand and have them draw on flash cards over and over again. They were unsure of how to help him in this activity. Seeing as many of our children have repetitious activities similar to this, I'd love to share my response with you.

1) Is might be a stim: This depends on how rigid, or how open your child is. If they have little or no eye contact, a blank facial expression, are not responding to you when you try and vary the activity and are physically manipulating you in an intense way then they are being exclusive. Even though they are involving you, they are not including you in a connected way but using you more as a tool to get the repetition they crave. In this case, your role is to join them by being excited to be that tool and doing the activity in the exact way they want it, thus showing you are trustworthy and attractive to be with and building a relationship with them.

2) Control: Our children crave predictability in their lives, that's why they have repetitious and exclusive behaviors. Our world is often unpredictable and over-stimulating for them so these predictable activities are of comfort to our children. The fact that they are involving us in an activity like this is great! They could be stimming in the corner on their own so feel grateful that you can be there for them in this way.

3) Wait until they are open: The more that you join your child and easily do this activity, the more open they will be to your ideas. When your child is more open (e.g. relaxing their intensity, leaving some space for you to add something, looking at you more, with a more connected facial expression or talking to you), this is the time to inspire growth.

4) How do I inspire growth?: Add something new! A way that we can help our children be more flexible and open to other's ideas is to vary the game. Try drawing something totally different or making up a song about what you are drawing. Ask for eye contact! If your child is more open but not looking at you, playfully request that they look so that you can draw more for them. Work on language: Ask them to choose what to draw next by giving them chioces (e.g "Shall I draw a dinasoar of Daddy?").

5) Celebrate! Help your child to feel successful, express your gratitude for choosing you to draw for them, if they say "No" when you try to challenge them, honor that and drop your challenge, every no, is going in the bank for a yes later.

Have fun!

Blogs

From Kate Wilde: Hi Everyone! This blog will be my 100th blog! Wow - I find that just so amazing - and I have so loved writing them and making the video's . All you parents and professionals out there working with your children on the Autism Spectrum are such a source of inspiration for me. What you are doing everyday with your children, loving them, accepting them and reaching out and challenging them to grow with a strong belief in their capabilities is just incredible, and we here at the Autism Treatment Center of America want to be a strong source of support to you.


So I thought that as this is my 100th blog, it would be a great time to check in and see what kind of topics and blogs you would like to see more of. Let us know, so that we can continue to to help in the most effective way possible.


Looking forward to hearing from you

With love

Kate

From Alison: Once more into the playroom dear friends!

I have just been away to the Option Institute for two weeks to do the Group Facilitation Program and I was wondering how things would be on the playroom front on my return, Here's what happened:
I was particularly excited as I walked in through the playroom door after nearly three weeks away, there is something delicious about having two whole hours uninterrupted Mummy and Jordan time to do whatever takes our fancy in the moment. But this time was extra special because Jordan had stood at the foot of the stairs and called up "Mummy, I'm ready to play" I had legged it down the stairs as fast as I could not wanting to miss his cue. We started off playing an Ice Cream game (this is a seriously big motivation for him and me) then moved on to playing a music game where we link our love of music with garbage disposal, it works by taking songs and then replacing some of the words with the word bin - so Pink's song u and ur hand becomes u and ur bin - such fun to do and before long our sides hurt because we were laughing so much. Then on to a christmas cracker game. One game followed another and before I knew it the session was over - almost totally interactive. Then it occurred to me about how I had created the excitement for myself because I believed that the first session after an absence of nearly three weeks would be especially magical. But, what if I could create that level of excitement every time, I could make up all sorts of reasons to be excited, but just think of the impact that could have for Jordan, how different would I be if I ran to the playroom everytime just longing to play with him again, I could make every day special, it would make my love for him and my desire to play with him so much more visible. So what beliefs could we make up to get us in that place where we are so excited we just can't wait to get in there?

Loving the Ride!

From Kelli: So it is T-32 days until our Son-Rise Program Intensive and yet it feels like its already begun. As the week approaches I'm noticing myself becoming more and more "intense" about the "Intensive". I'm creating all kinds of discomforts from worrying about Jordyn's food and the volunteers to looking at myself and our program through "what's wrong" coloured glasses.

This is not the first time in life that I've been "intense" about something that is important to me, or something I want. I get so attached to it being perfect that I miss out on the gold, the juice, and the joy in the moments along the way. Well not this time!

The juice in THIS moment is that I saw what I was creating - stress, worry, fear, discomfort, you name it - by believing that it is hard to get what you want. And now I get to choose how this is going to go.

So, I'm putting on a pair of "THIS is perfect (for me)!" glasses and getting on this roller coaster ride with the intention of being present for, and grateful for, every gold nugget along the way.

I'm grateful for the Intensive being the juicy stimulus for me to wake up to this repetitive behaviour, and thankful to Beverly for our Option Process® dialogue today and the question she left me with - both PERFECT!

Can't wait to share with you all what else opens up on this beautiful roller coaster ride.

With love and gratitude - Kelli

From Rae: Be Present - Staying in the Moment

From Rae: I am exhausted! Wore-out! I am struggling to keep my patience due to lack of sleep and worries. I am a single mom - so once Tyler's Son-Rise team goes home I am on my own. My daughter, Tyler, will be 16 in February and she has had many medical problems in the last year and a half. Her language is limited to 10 words at most. She has been screaming out and crying throughout the nite until she falls asleep. I don't know whats wrong. She wants me to get away but then she starts screaming again.

Thoughts run through my head - Is she really hurting or is she playing a game? I dont know. I go with what I know - if she screams, let her know I am here to help her. Move slow so she doesn't think she's getting a reaction out of me and controlling my every move. Over and over and over this happens. Throughout the nite it seems as if she looks for things to try my patience. I stay as calm as possible. I want to scream at times. Things she is wanting aren't working all of a sudden and she gets upset. I cant fix them fast enough. I stay calm and stay in the present and let her know I'm here for her if she needs me. She screams loud, over and over again.....and then sarcastically I think to myself - If God doesn't give us more than we can handle, just how much does he think I can take?

Then my thoughts go back to my learnings of the Son-Rise Program^® - what can I learn from this? How can I keep my patience day in and day out. I just keep practicing "staying in the moment." The wonderful thing about staying in the moment is that you don't miss anything. While all this was going on, every now and then she would stop and do something new. For example, she pointed to her dvds and took one dvd at a time and looked them over from the front side then the back side as if she was reading them. In the playroom she doesn't show interests in books or reading. Was she reading them - I think so. I have learned a great lesson I had been taught from the Son-Rise Program^®

Be Present. Had I not "stayed in the moment" I would have missed that wonderful happening.

Love, Rae

Good Sound/Bad Sound?

From Jack: Hidy-ho Son-Rise amigos!

I hope you are all having amazing, exciting, dynamic and thrilling adventures in your playrooms around the world - here at the Autism Treatment Center of America we definitely are!

This week we have the CUTEST little boy here for the Son-Rise Program Intensive and, wow! Does he have the greatest isms! He loves numbers, math, spelling, dancing and... grinding his teeth! This one got me thinking... I used to really HATE the sound of teeth grinding (I remember my little brother used to do it when he was a baby) but here, with this boy, I am so fine with the sound. In fact, I love it! You know why? Because if I can choose to love anything a child does, then I can choose to love ANY sound!

So often we are sold beliefs about "good", "bad", "fun" or "painful" sounds. How many times have we seen people wince when someone screams, or heard someone say how they hate the sound of nails on a chalkboard or a certain genre of music. We are encouraged to believe that the sound CONTROLS how we feel. I know this is utterly untrue.

Try this out - take a sound you may previously have decided not to like (your child crying, workmen drilling the road outside) and find ONE THING to love about it. Find one thing about that sound that is fascinating and unique. Is it the way your ears vibrate? Is it the after-sound - the way your ears ring? Is there are special rhythm to it? Can you even detect a faint tune that only you can hear?

Now, think what a gift it would be to your child if you decided to love EVERY sound they make in the playroom - crying, screaming, laughing, shouting... yes, even teeth grinding! There is nothing your child can do that you can not love :)

With excitement and joy for all of you

Jack

Creative uses for Velco!

From Kate Wilde: Each week at The Autism Treatment Center of America , we have a family attending the Son-Rise Program Intensive. Every child who comes here inspires us to reach new heights in our own creativity. Each child is so unique and wonderful, bringing with them their own new set of motivations that inspire us to create new interesting games, and building ideas.

We want to share these with you so that you can benefit along side the family that is here.

For our next creative idea just click on the video below, or if you are on face book click on the title of this blog, then on 'view original blog" to take you to where the video is stored.

Much love to you all
Kate

Isms

From Kate Wilde: Picture this: A small boy with Autism, his short brown hair sticking up right in the middle of his head. Beautiful dark eyes, so silent and graceful as he moves around the room. He focuses on his plasticine, rolling and rolling, creating and creating. He rolls one ball then another, then another and before you know it he has created a "wild thing", the beginning of a detailed scene from the book, "Where the Wild Things Are."

Half way through this he gets up, effortlessly and gracefully hops across the room, does what looks like an arabesque and then a cartwheel. He balances on the very edge of the slide, stays still for a moment, and ever so softly whispers "bottles and boxes", then leaps to the floor and carries on his dance. Like a gymnastic wowing the judges with a beautiful floor routine.
Then back to his "Wild Thing" creation.

What grace, what magic, what beauty and richness resides in this boys world.

In gratitude for every child I get to meet here at the Autism Treatment Center of America.

With love for your child's world.
Kate

Keep it Simple

From Kate Wilde: One of the things I like most about The Son-Rise Program Methodology is that it is simple, and easy to understand, while at the same time being highly effective. Sometimes we can over complicate things and make them hard, when really they are not. So how can you keep it simple while working with your child this week?

1. Do one thing at a time.
2.When we are playing with our children using the Son-Rise Program we are doing one of the following techniques:

• Joining our children in their exclusive and or repetitious activities.
• Celebrating when our children interact with us.
• Building, adding one thing to the game when our children look at us, and connect to us.
• Requesting, asking our children to grow, whether it is to speack to us, look at us, or interact physically in the game we are playing together.

3.Decide which one of the above you are doing in each moment, commit to it fully and joyfully.

It's as simple as that!

Watch the webinar below with Raun Kaufman to help you further.

http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/media:video,23,0

Thinking of you all as you start another fun filled week with your children.

Kate

Rescue Elmo Game

From Kate Wilde: Another game for your to enjoy! Click on the video below or if you are on face book right now on the title of this blog, then on "View original blog" then on the video itself.

All of us here at The Autism Treatment Center of America send all of you our support and love as you play with your children and gently encourage and entice them to want to become part of our social world.

Kate

From Becky: Boundaries

I was recently working with a Mother who is doing The Son-Rise Program with her child.

An issue she had was that her child kept asking to go out of the playroom. He'd turn off the lights, stand by the door and rattle the door handle several times.

This wonderful Mother who is working on language with her child would ask "What do you want, tell me what you want?" To which he would say "I want out".

Then she would let him out because she wanted to show him the power of his language by giving him what he had asked for. Then the session would be over.

If this sounds familiar to you then here are some ideas.

1) At The Autism Treatment Center of America, we believe in setting clear boundaries for our children. We know that boundaries are useful and will help our children in their lives. One boundary we always set is that when we are in The Son-Rise Program playroom the door stays shut and locked. This is because we know that working with our child in this one to one environment with no distractions for us or our child is absolutely the best way to help them.

2) That it's ok if our children are going to the door or wanting to get out, the idea is not to try and distract them away from the door but to help them see that in life you don’t always get what you want and help them to work through that.

3) That we can still work on language and celebrate them for talking to us. So even if they are saying "I want out", we can say "I love that you are talking to me but the door will still be locked because I love you and want to help you".

4) Offer an alternative. Maybe your child is wanting something that is outside that they don't know is in the playroom, always ensure that you have fresh snacks, a drink and a way for your child to use the bathroom in the room and have fun showing them all of these things and offering them what they might want.

5) Feel comfortable, loving and assumption free even if your child whines, cries, shouts or tantrums about the door staying locked. If when you don't open the door your child does this, it doesn't necessarily mean that your child is unhappy, they are trying to communicate with you and see what might work to get what they want and they also could be seeking a reaction from you so that you eventually "Cave" and open the door.

6) Having the door shut and locked is an act of love. In this playroom I can accept my child, join my child, give my child much more control than outside of the playroom, I can celebrate my child and teach my child in this room.

For You

From Kate Wilde: I was thinking this morning about all of you who read these blogs. Parents who are running Son-Rise Programs for their children. Parents who are wanting to find different ways of reaching their children on the Autism Spectrum, and professionals who also want to help the children in their care in the best way possible.

I was thinking how great it is that each of you are wanting so much for your children and how I could support you today. So today I offer my support in this way:

Know that you are an amazing person just as you are today.
You do not have to change one thing about yourself to know this.
You do not have to do anything more to prove this.
You do not have to alter yourself in anyway to be this.
You are not just OK as you are, you are GREAT.
I know this about you.....do you?

With love
Kate

Joining

From Kate Wilde:Joining is at the heart of the Son-Rise Program methodology. Joining means that when our children on the autistic spectrum are engaged in their repetitious and/or exclusive activities, we do exactly what they are doing. If they are pacing around the room exclusively(not looking at us or paying attention to us) then we join by pacing around the room in the exact same way. If they are repeating a phrase from a movie, or reciting a story to themselves, then we will recite the same movie or story to ourselves.

When we are doing what they are doing we are doing it sincerely, really enjoying taking part in their activity. We do this to be closer to them, to populate their world with people so that they are no longer alone.

What are we saying to our children when we join them like this?

We are saying:

That we love them, even when they do not look at us, even when they do not respond to us.
That we do not need them to change in-order for us to be happy with them.
That we care for them and are interested in what they are interested in.
That we would do anything, even stare at a light switch, or spin in a circle a thousand times just so we can be close to them.
That we respect them and believe that what they want to do has worth and merit.
That we believe in them and trust that they are doing the best that they can to take care of themselves.
We are saying that they can trust us, for we love them exactly for who they are right now in this moment, not for who they will become or what they give to us.

This is what I was saying when I joined my God child Jade Adina Hogan during her Son-Rise Program. I said this for hours and hours and hours, as she scrunched up tiny little pieces of paper into tiny balls and placed them into a tiny china tea pot. As she changed mickey mouse's diaper again and again and again. This was said to her by her whole Son-Rise Program team every minute she inhabited her own world.

Last night I had dinner with her and her parents, Bryn and William Hogan Son-Rise Program teachers here at The Autism Treatment Center of America. I was greeted by Jade with squeals of delight, lots of kisses and hugs, and chatter about her Christmas and the things she wants to do with me when I see her next time. Ahhhh the fruits of hours and hours of joining her, trusting that loving her in this way mattered.

Have fun trusting your children.

with love
Kate

Creative Playroom Idea.

From Kate Wilde:A playroom idea from the Autism Treatment Center of America.

This simple playroom adjustment will help you come up with new and different creative ideas to bring into your playroom, or work area with your child. It is important to continue to bring in fresh ideas to help motivate your child to interact with you. Here at The Autism Treatment Center of America we are dedicated to bringing you new ideas to help stimulate your own creativity.

Just click on the video below, or if your on face book right now, just click on the title of this blog, then on "View Original Blog" this will take you to where the Video is stored.


Much love to all of you
Kate

Choose Happiness

From Kate Wilde: Here at the Autism treatment Center of America we believe that being happy and deeply comfortable when working with a child on the Autism spectrum is the most important ingredient in helping them to grow.

When we are happy we are more likely to be warm and loving, we smile, laugh and enjoy our children more. Thus we are more inviting for our children to reach out and want to play with us.

When we are happy we are more likely to be present, thus more responsive to our children, the more responsive we are to our children's cues the more they will want to come to us for help, the more opportunities we have to help them socially interact.

In short happier people are more attractive to be around. Our autistic children are more sensitive to our attitudes so this applies more to them than to the average person.

I know that so many of you lovely parents and professionals out there are really taking action with your children and prioritizing their growth and creating amazing learning opportunities. The question is are your prioritizing your own happiness? Take a few minutes right now and write down a list of your priorities starting with the most important and go from there. Where did your put your own happiness? Was it number one or number 10, did it even feature on your list?

One thing you can you do right now to help you re-prioritize your happiness is simply just decide to be happy.

• Take one 30 minute segment a day, where you decide that no matter what happens you are going to choose to be happy.
• Pick a 30 minute period that is usually challenging for you, whether it is putting your children to bed, or when you are juggling more that one thing.
• Once you can do this for one 30 minute period, then add another 30 minute period in.

So much power can come from having a clear intention and time period to choose happiness.

with love to you

Kate

Dietary Interventions

From Kate Wilde: Here at the Autism Treatment Center of America we believe that your child's diet is incredibly important to their overall health and well being. We feel that it is important to get your child tested for possible allergens such as Gluten, Casein, Corn and Soy. We also believe that it is important to be careful about how much sugar your child has in their daily diet.

Often times our children on the autism spectrum can be very picky eaters. If your child's diet consists mostly only the above named allergens and sugar then this may be a sign that your child has a potential intolerance to the very things they are eating.

If you are wanting to change your child's diet, by eliminating either, gluten, casein, corn, soy or sugar below are a couple of pointers that may help the transition go smoother.

1. Start only when you are completely ready, if you have doubts, your child will sense this, and wait until you give in and give them that chocolate cookie. It is important that you are prepared to go the distance.
2.Educate yourself about other foods you can over your child, there are many online resources such as gluten and casein free recipes you can access.
3.Make sure that the food you do not want your child to eat is nowhere to be found in your house. Remember your child is very intelligent, if it is in your house they will find it.
4.Explain to your child why you are changing their diet and how it will help them. Do this even if your child has yet to begin to talk to you, we believe without a doubt that your child can understand a lot of what you are saying, even if they cannot or do not verbally respond to it.
5.Have plenty of the new foods easily available to your child in bowls around the house, so that they can get used to new smells and the new look of their food, and they can easily try it when they are hungry.
6.Believe that your child will eat this yummy new food.

With love to you all
Kate

From Becky: Bread substitute!

Here are some more Gluten, Casein and sugar free ideas.

Question: What is shaped like a burger bun and is 10 times more tasty and nutritious for our children?

Answer: A Portabello Mushroom

A tasty addition to a burger instead of using a bun is to use two Portabello mushrooms brushed with olive oil. Put them on the grill, place your burger inside and voila!

Seeing Change in Others.

From Kate Wilde: I have just spent a wonderful morning in The Son-Rise Program Intensive discussing the notion of believing that another person can and will change.

For our children on the Autism Spectrum, to believe in their ability to change and grow is so very important, for this fuels our desire to offer them opportunities and experiences to make those changes. It is also important for us to see them a new each day so that we can observe those changes, thus helping us in two ways, one to celebrate them for those changes, and two to create new goals for them, thus helping them to keep growing.

This morning we extended this idea to the other people in our lives, our partners, work colleagues, and friends. Are we believing in them? Do we believe that they will change when they announce their new years resolutions, or do we roll our eyes in disbelief? Are we looking for the evidence of their changes, or are we just waiting for them to "mess up".

Lets help the other people in our lives make the changes they are wanting, by believing in them, looking for evidence of their change, and celebrating them.

This sets the tone of a supportive environment which is focusing on the now, verses the past.

Have fun loving the people in your lives this way.

From Becky: Diet - more ideas!

Hi,

Recently I was looking for something gluten/casein and sugar free with a soft texture that I could use us a thickener or a dipping sauce and I found........ Hummus.

Look at the ingredients if you are shopping for Hummus but I have found several tasty brands that just contain chick peas, tahini, garlic and olive oil. I enjoy them to dip veggies in or as a salad dressing and I had a great dinner last night of steamed fish with lemon hummus on it.

Enjoy!

From Becky: More GF/CF/Sugar Free

Delicious Dessert!

Many children that I work with at The Autism Treatment Center of America enjoy eating sweet, sugary foods.

I have discovered an absolutely delicious dessert that you can find in Health Food Stores. It's totally gluten, casein, sugar and soy free and has a lovely creamy texture like ice cream. It's called Coconut Bliss and I just ate some for dessert.....yummy!

Which comes first?

Which comes first - our child's behaviour or our attitude about it? Sort of a chicken and egg type question. In this case, the behaviour happens first, then our attitude/thoughts about it, but then where do we start to lead with our attitude.

At a team meeting a couple of weeks ago, I had a revelation. I got that rather than getting comfortable with Jordyn's pinching behaviour (not reacting), I had become complacent. I actually got that who was walking in the room to be with him was a "pinching bag". While I had coached other team members to create their sessions outside the room, and they had created "no pinching today", I was clear I'd get pinched. And guess what, I got pinched. Was it my attitude OR Jordyn's action that came first... hmmmm.... changed my attitude and the behaviour decreased!

Attitude or behaviour, which comes first?

I'm now looking again at where I am "hoping" for a different behaviour but have stopped creating it and have become resigned to that its going to be that way. You could say, where I've stopped being a force of creation! The question to ask myself always is "What am I creating?"... if attitude comes first (and I believe it does) then the behaviour and miracles will follow.

What are you creating?

Love and best wishes at the beginning of another miraculous year - Kelli

Observe your child

From Kate Wilde: In the spirit of this new year and decade, see your children on the Autism spectrum a new today. So much of our life with our children is caught up in doing. Either caring for your child's many physical needs, keeping them clean, warm and save. Or actively playing with them, whether it is joining them in their "isms" or responding to their many questions, or playing rough and tumble with them. That we can sometimes lose sight of really seeing them for who they are today.

Here at the Autism Treatment Center of America not only do we spend time playing 1:1 with the children, but we spend time observing a child play with another person. This gives us time to really see who this child is, how they are responding to different situations without having to respond as well.

Find 20 minutes this week, to really observe your child, this could be when they are playing with your partner or another family member, or if you are running a Son-Rise Program with one of your volunteers.

Look for what they are enjoying, do they respond more when the person they are playing with talks loudly or softly. Do they look more when the person has big gestures, what object do they play with the most. Often times when we give feedback to our volunteers we are looking more closely at the volunteer, in this case reverse it and seek to learn more about your child.

Enjoy observing your beautiful children!

with love

Kate

Say Yes to Change.

From Kate Wilde: I recently wrote the below to a lovely Son-Rise Program Student of mine. Today I write this to you:

"I hear nothing but wonderful and inspiring things about you.

It takes great daring to leap into a space that is new and unfamiliar.

You have taken flight and shown yourself that you can say yes to change

That you can become anything that you put your mind to.

All you have to so is say yes and step into it.

Keep growing, keep stepping, your future is yours in the making.

Congratulations for your journey thus far!!!!

For all the effort and care and persistence you are putting into it."

As you read this in reference to yourself , what are you saying yes to, what are you growing within yourself?

With much love to you and great respect for your journey with your beautiful children.

From Alison: It's all about me!!!

I Started off with my Son Rise program a few years ago now because I wanted to reach out to my son Jordan, but the journey took an unexpected twist here is what happened.
When I started out on the Son Rise journey with my son Jordan I thought that if I just learned why he did the things that he did that I could help him not do them anymore and I could teach him how to play my games instead. It turned out that actually what I needed to do; was to find out why I did the things that I did, then learn to play his games instead and then put in a few of my own. I was amazed at how much the Son Rise program was about me and my attitude. I had to learn to love and accept myself first and then that love and acceptance overflowed to Jordan including his autism. It is a phenomenal change in my life, I have gone from feeling invisible to feeling alive, from feeling lost to having a clear sense of purpose. Everyday when I wake up I make a decision to make my love for myself and Jordan more obvious and it is now that we share so many precious moments together - the ones I dreamed about at the beginning of our journey.

Imagination games for the New Year

From Kate Wilde:Here are a few imagination games from The Autism Treatment Center of America to help you start the new year with your children on the Autism Spectrum.

1. "What do you see?" - This games is designed to encourage spontaneous expressive language and is for a child who can speak in simple sentences and beyond.

• Pretend that you are sleeping, when the alarm wakes you get up, go over to the window, draw the curtains, and look out the window.
• One of you is to describe to the other person what they see out the window, to describe the scenery and any event that is happening, then you go out side and play the scenario that was just described.
• We would suggest that you take the first turn to model to your child how to play the game.

Variations: you could be sleeping on a airplane, or train, and describe the scene when the train or airplane stops. You could be in a time machine and stop to describe different historical events you land in.

2."Pretend this is happening to you". This is designed to encourage your children to physical participate more, and to interact with simple props

• Put different props around the room that you would use in different kinds of weather, for example, an umbrella, wellington boots, a hat, gloves, scarf, a glass of water, swimming trunks, snorkel, a sun hat, sun cream etc.
• Explain to your child that you are going to tell them what kind of weather is happening and they are to use the props they would use in that type of weather and act out what they would do in that type of weather.
• Take turns acting out and choosing the weather.
• Different types of weather may be, as hot as a desert, torrential rain with a strong wind, light sunny day at the beach, a snow storm, hail and ice storm etc.

Variations: you could play the same game, but instead of different types of weather, you could have different sporting events, or different animals to interact with, or different social events to attend.

The most important thing to do in each of them games above is to have fun, be playful and enjoy whatever happens. I wish you much happiness this coming year 2010.

Kate