FROM BEARS: Thank you...

THANK YOU... to everyone who comes to our programs, who writes to me after you read one of my books & who posts the most delicious, thoughtful & loving notations on my Facebook wall. THANK YOU for all the kindness & tender thoughts/for being part of my extended family. WE HAVE ALL CHANGED BECAUSE WE BELIEVED WE COULD. Love, Bears

HappyRon H. - Thanks for everything bro!
Stephanie C.S.- and thank YOU and your amazing family for your love,generosity,honesty and ability to truly be present.
Diana Paige S. - Thank YOU for everything you share with us!
Bernadette G. - And Thank God for you, your family and your ability to share you belief with us. God's blessings on you all x
Colleen F.E.- I CAN'T WAIT to attend my next program...Empower Yourself in May!!! I'm there some days and "wobble" more other days. I can't wait to be rock solid!!!!
Avak A. B. - HIP HIP HOORAY to everybody!! :))
Vanessa H.H. - We are so excited to come to the Intensive. Just three more days.
Brian M. - Thank you Bears--It has been an incredible year since my February Start-Up, Mary Ellen's June Start-Up, my Calm Amid Chaos, Mary Ellen's Now Frontiers and listening to your cd's until some of them wore out. Best of all is Noah's progress with the best yet to come as we'll all be coming for the Intensive in July. You guys are going to have so much fun with Noah and Noah with you.
Alison S.T. - THANK YOU BEARS for creating THE OPTION INSTITUTE so that I could come. Coming on programs has been like bringing my little ship into the harbour during a storm so that I could learn to love riding the waves. I love how there are no limits ...on anything - no limits on happiness, or love, or persistence to go after our wants, or the number of people that we can have in our extended family - I'm looking forward to coming home again next year to see you and all the other wonderful people who come there/work there, and learn some more. Love and hugs ♥
Yvette R. - At Neighbourhood Unitariian Universalist Congregation in Toronto the topic of discussion this Sunday Nov. 28 will be - "Happiness Is a Choice" and I will be sharing how finding you and your books in the early 1980's has changed my life. Spreading the word and sharing the magic that is Option !!
Natalie A. - Thanks Bears - you and your amazing family have done so much for my family where others gave up and said my son wouldn't succeed with The Son-Rise Program he is showing us all the Amazing things he can and that never to give up xxx thanks so much xxx
Christine A. - I went with my husband to the conference in Salford UK
Elizabeth G.Y. - You know funny you mention that. Your book "Son-Rise: The Miracle Continues" was one of the only books my library had when my son was Dx and from that day, it has been over 4 years, I have never stopped believing he could get better. They actually had a few of your books and I was so impressed with your writing that I read them all including the one on death about a month before my father died. While reading it somehow me and my father got into the conversation about him dying and I started to cry. It was if God put the book in my hands and my father knew he was going to die. All of your writing brought me such great comfort. You are truly blessed as a writer and a lovely human. I loved reading your books. Whenever the question comes up as to who I would want to meet if I could meet anyone it is always your family. God Bless
Nancy R. - Dear Bears and Option Family, Thank you for your wonderful classes. I know that I have personally changed as result of your teachings. There isn't a day goes by that I don't shift my thinking/change a belief.There is a new and different person created in me each day.
Alexandra O. - THANK YOU Bears, and Samahria, and Bryn and William and Raun and Kate and Beverly and Clyde and Brian and Jan-Marie and Zoe and all of your amazing team!!!! Love to you all!!!

Deepening The Interaction

From Kate Wilde:

This weeks video blogs talks about two concepts - "moving away" and "anticipation" and how you can use these within a game already in progress to encourage your child to lengthen their eye contact and deepen their interaction and connection within the game.




Enjoy your children and all they offer you this weekend.
with love
Kate

FROM BEARS: Thanks/Giving

Thank you universe/God for my ability to have sweet thoughts and feelings. Thank you Samahria for being the angel of my life. Thank you my children for the adventures & nourishing of caring and giving & loving. Thank you our students for honoring us with your wanting to learn & grow. GIVING means being kind & loving & USEFUL to those you thank. Love, Bears

From Cassie N.W.:
When Elijah was diagnosed with Autism I found you two and your son in the 70's on youtube. My sister says I am so much like Samahria! I can only hope so :)

From Heather R.A.:
We are thanking God for Bears and Samahria and the Option Institute! We love you!

From Jan J.S.:
Thank you Bears and Samahria and all of those at Option for inspiring and helping us to be all that we can be.

From D.H.:
Bears, many thanks for the gift of your amazing self. And much love to your sweet family.

From J.C.:
Bears, thank you doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of the deepest sense of gratitude I have for you and the staff at Option. I came back home a changed person after completing Start Up, I learned more about myself & daughter that I ever imagined was possible and I realised how much useful it was to be hopeful. From the depths of my heart THANK YOU xox

From Rebecca S.:
Bears xxxxx my gratitude for you and Samahria and Option would not fit into this little comment box, it would take pages and pages, extends way beyond and deeper than the depth of my heart (which is deeper now because of you!) xxxxxThank you always for being the incredible people you are xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

From Jenifer C.W.:
Thank you Bears for my wonderful dialogue yesterday and thank you for smiling and loving me as I travel to Iowa today with an intention of being loving, authentic and playful! Greatest love and thanks to you and your entire family for your special process, your love of our family, and all that you do to help so many people all over this planet. Hugs and love, Jenifer!

From Alison S.T.:
Dear Bears, for everything you are and all that you mean to me, for everything I am because of the things you taught me...thank you thank you thank you. I love you, please tell me how I can be useful ♥

Inspirational!!

FromKim:
Today I write this blog as a dedication to my amazing and inspirational teachers here at The Autism Treatment Center of America and The Option Institute. To Bears, Samahria, Bryn, William, and Kate!

I am so very grateful for each of you...

For the desire you have to help me grow, learn, and develop!
For the questions you ask that help me find my OWN answers- the empowerment of knowing myself is an incredible gift!
For helping me see the beauty of opening my senses to being present in my life and appreciating each moment- ahhh this is so huge!
For the constant loving encouragement you share with me on my journey as a student and as a leader!
For challenging me to grow myself in ways I had not even imagined possible- seeing these changes in myself daily is exhilarating!

You believe in me- and I feel it, see it, and appreciate it each new day walking onto campus at The Option Institute and the Autism Treatment Center of America! Thank you for Believing!

Dear Son Rise parents out there, I share this dedication with you as a bit of inspiration in running your Son Rise Program at home. You are the leaders of your program, and as leaders and teachers of your own team of volunteers, you too can provide the most loving system of support for those who work with you and your child!

Reach your hands out with love!
Challenge them to grow!
Encourage and CELEBRATE them!

We are all students and always growing, the power of feeling believed in and loved our journey of growth is something that can only nourish this experience.


Much love,
Kim

Brooms Away!

Happy Friday - May it be filled with much love, laughter and games.

This week The Autism Treatment Center of America brings you games you can play with a broom. Click on the video below to see some fun and silly games to encourage your child to want to play with you, talk to you and look at you.






Have fun and most of all be outrageously silly!!!!
with love
Kate

Volunteers!

FROM BECKY: My next series of blogs are going to be about volunteers for your Son-Rise Program. I would also love to get your input on ways that have been successful for your programs in finding and keeping the team that you want. Here are some ideas that you can use when implementing volunteers in your program.

1) Go for the gold! When I ask families how many posters or flyers they post in their communities, often their reply is "Lots", when asked specifically "How many", they will answer "Three" or "Maybe 10!" Go for a gold medal team! If you put out a handful of posters, you may get one reply. That volunteer may be a bronze medal standard, you are looking for the gold medal team! Put out 100 posters! Now you may have 10 replies, from those 10 candidates, you can select the 3 or 4 that are going to be commited and open.

2) Connect! Making connections with people is the best way to drum up support for your program. If you go to universities and ask them to put your posters up without educating them about your program, there's a chance they may get buried or actually even end up in the trash! Make a point to find one person to talk to and tell them a few sentences about your child. Share something specific and meaningful with them, such as one way your child has grown since you started your program or something that you, yourself have learnt from your child. The more they can relate to you, the more effort they are going to make to help you.

3) Target a variety of places. Just as you want your child to experience having many friends of different personalities in his/her life, you also want to look in diverse places. Try going to theatre groups, gyms, and all departments of the universities (e.g. music, drama, etc and not just
psychology and education departments).

Please let me know if you have any other specific questions on this topic and I will keep helping!

I wish you all the best

Inspiration

From Kate Wilde

I often ponder the question:

"How do we inspire another person to do something they were not really intending to do?"

Because that is what we are trying to do when we work with our autistic children using The Son-Rise Program. Our childrens' challenge is being able to deeply connect and interact with the people in their lives. Often they are so busy taking care of their bodies and sensory systems doing their many and varied isms that it may not even occur to them to look at or talk to the people in their lives.

This is where the Son-Rise Program attitude comes into play - part of inspiring them to want to interact with us is:

1.Making ourselves so compelling and interesting that it is fairly impossible not to notice us.
2.To join in with their activity with such delight and passion and non- attachment that they are amazed at the idea that another person likes what they like as much as they do.
3.To join in with their activity with such passion and delight that our children think to themselves that they are just like us, that they have something in common with us- a friend that they might like to hang out with.
4.That we celebrate each time they interact with us with such intensity and sincerity that they want to do it one more time just to feel the warmth of our love.

We feel more, we love more, we make ourselves irresistible.

with love to you
Kate

Social Curriculum

FROM WILLIAM: Yesterday I taught a class in the Son-Rise Program advanced training course (New Frontiers) on using the Developmental Model and creating goals for their children. It was a wonderful class and everyone enjoy plotting where their child is in their social growth on all four of the fundamentals - Eye Contact and Non-Verbal Communication; Verbal Communication; Interactive Attention Span and Flexiblity.

One of the big delights for the parents was seeing that their child was further along in their social development, compared with when they attended the Start-Up program. Their children were now more interactive and social. They were growing in the way that their mothers and fathers wanted.

From my point of view it was also a big celebration for these parents because they have changed themselves in order to help their children. This week they are continuing to grow themselves to be a bigger and brighter version of who they are today, in order to help their children.

As your child develops don't forget to celebrate yourself for helping to make it happen. Use the Development Model to clearly see your child's growth.

With love and smiles

William

Getting them to eat

From Gaby:This morning I was looking through some recipes in a magazine to see if there might be some interesting GFCF diets I could use for Christmas. Okay I know it is a bit early but seeing how they very often aren’t that easy to find and I had a bit of free time on my hands and a cup of cappuccino besides me, it was a great "moment to take care of myself" time . A real energy boost for me and we all know how important that is.
All of a sudden I was reminded of a moment a month ago. Garfield has started asking me every day what we are going to eat for dinner. Something his sister used to do. On such an occasion he asked it again. I told him we were eating rice. “I hate rice” he said. Even though I had suspected this, he never had said it to me. It came out really funny too as he said it with lots of feeling.” I know" I said "but sometimes we have to eat what other people like to eat so just do your best okay?” He looked at me with a look as if he didn’t really agree with me but at dinner time he ate his whole plate up without problems. I was so proud of him. Over the years I had tried introducing rice to him as it’s a good GFCF product but he always spit it out. It was only since a small year that I got him to eat small amounts but I never gave up. I always hear Samaria say "persistence persistence persistence" at such moments. Not too often and never with pressure I would offer him a plate. I would eat my own plate saying how much I enjoyed it. It shows never give up and even though it will probably never be his favorite food he became so flexible as to eat it!Hurrah for Garfield!and Samaria.

Games Games Games!

From Kate Wilde

Its Friday - Theme day!!

This week The Autism Treatment Center Of America brings you a quick and simple game that is designed to help your child share their personal thoughts and opinions. Our children on the Autism Spectrum are usually excellent at relaying factual information, but find it challenging to express more personal thoughts and opinions.

Focusing on helping our children express these will add a meaningful dimension to their style of conversation - making it more attractive for their peers to want to converse with them.




Remeber that you can modify this game in anyway to adjust it to your child motivations and skill level.
Have a fun packed - game filled weekend with your children.
With love to you all
Kate

Transitions Outside of the Playroom

FROM BECKY: I recently had a question from an amazing Son-Rise Mom who is having some challenges outside of the playroom with transitions in her and her child's daily routine (e.g. taking her other child to school, running errands, etc). Of course in an ideal world, the answer is to have volunteers in the playroom with your Son-Rise child while you get these things done (I have some blogs on getting volunteers coming soon so watch this space). Until this happens, here are some helpful things to keep in mind.

1) Our children need control and predictability! If they didn't then they wouldn't spend a large part of their day doing repetitious and exclusive behaviors. In an unpredictable world, they are seeking ways to make the things feel more safe and maneagable. One way we can help make things easier for our them is to have a printed or written schedule or calendar.

If we know that we are doing the school run, or need to pick up some items from the grocery store, decide in the morning what time those things will occur and then put together a simple schedule with times (perhaps even a picture of a clock next to it if). Show your child the schedule in the morning so that they know what's going to take place later. Stick it to the wall, of the playroom or on the fridge so they can see it throughout the day.

Often we can suddenly spring these things on our children, when they are busy engrossed in something else and we are suddenly putting their coat on and herding them out of the door. If they know what's coming in advance then they will have some time to prepare their sensitive sensory systems for the transition.

2) Use plenty of explanations! We need to explain more thoroughly, more often and more exaggeratedly with our special children than with our Neuro-Typical children. Along with having processing delays and their need for things to be predictable, the more we can let them know what's coming, the more they will be open to the change. Explain three times throughout the morning where you are going to go, what time and exactly what will happen, the more detailed the better.

3) Plan ahead. Ask yourself "Do I really need this loaf of bread today?" If things can wait, then put them off until your partner comes home, or ask a family member to watch the kids while you go alone. Even having your special child around the house and not in the playroom will be more useful to them and less distracting.


More coming soon!

Deeply Caring - Pain and Anger!!

FROM WILLIAM: "As I grew up I watched my mother be angry to get what she wanted, I see my see sister being angry to get what she wants and I am aware of myself getting angry to get what I want." This is what a Son-Rise Program mother recently shared with me in a discussion we were having about how she felt about her life, her autistic child and her relationship with her partner.

As she explored the reasons behind the anger she realised it was a way to stop the pain she was feeling. She was feeling pain about the possibility of her child not changing, staying autistic and having to go into a care facility or group home. She dug deeper in herself and came to understand that her pain came from how she had learn to love and care. For her pain and distress was a way to show she loved, to show that she care and to show that it matter what happend to her son. Her pain was like a badge she wore to show herself and the world how deeply she cared and loved her son - yet all the world saw was an angry person.

Through this understanding she made a connection within herself that she had never had before. She understood where her anger came from and why she was using pain and unhappiness. From this new awareness she changed. She now was going to be loving and caring without pain and without anger. At the end of our time together she said, "I feel lighter, today I have understood and changed something deep within myself, something that I have not been able to change for over 20 years."

Using unhappiness (anger, pain, etc.) to show ourselves and the world we care results in not feeling good within ourselves and in addition all the world sees is an angry unhappy person.

The next time you get anger or frustrated at yourself or someone else ask yourself why? Know you can deeply care and still be loving and accepting.

Love and smiles

William

Living the Dream... or the Nightmare, it's Up to You

FROM SIMONE - I have a recurrent nightmare. Every now and again I dream I am in my chambermaid years in Amsterdam and I have 100 rooms to clean in a couple of hours but the clock is running really fast. Even though I am working really fast and I am doing so much when I stop and check what is done, not even one room is finished. I used to be a chambermaid in Amsterdam, fifteen years ago.

I think dreams are a great subject for discussion because it is really tempting to say, well, I don't choose my dreams, they just happen. I will just go with this logic for a bit and actually it doesn't take me long to realize I don't actually keep dreaming of the day my son was born or my first date with my Husband or when I was on the Holiday I most enjoyed in my life. I don't dream about any of these things that I consider to be the best moments of my life.

The question I put myself was why do I keep dreaming about an experience that happened 15 years ago and I didn't judge it to be pleasant? The answer is in my last comment, I applied a meaning to the experience, it wasn't pleasant, thinking about it, the meaning I applied to it was that it was terrifying, for three years every single week day I scared myself of not finishing a job I was given. And there it was, staring at me my belief: I am scared of not finishing a task I am given. I didn't even know I was scared of this then all over my daily life, in my Son-Rise Program, in my relationship with my Husband, my volunteers, I found traces of the nightmare I created for myself "when someone doesn't finish a task he or she was given this person deserved the Capital punishment". It sounds bizarre and extreme, but that is how our self-made nightmares are like, they have no meaning when you detach them from the array of meaning you have given them and they sometimes sound funny and absurd.

If there's a constant thought in your head no matter if you are awake or asleep just go explore it, dive into it and discover the amazing power of our beliefs, how they grow and take shape and are shaped into dreams, or nightmares, it's totally up to us! Using the Option Process Dialogue as a tool is so invaluable to your Son-Rise Program as a feeling that comes from another part of your life can leak into your Program and affect the way you see your volunteers, yourself and your child. Unveiling beliefs is really useful to "clean" your head of personal grudges which most of the time has nothing to do with the person you have the grudge with but with your own beliefs.

Have fun exploring your beliefs today!
Simone

Different Does Not Mean Worse!

FROM BECKY: Have you ever seen your child doing something with you that he or she doesnt do with ANYONE else? Maybe only in your session do they constantly try to get out of the playroom? Perhaps they want you to only sing Row Your Boat and with anyone else they will play all kinds of different games? Does your child only want to talk about ice-cream with you? or have you pretend to be a baby for a whole hour? Perhaps you are a volunteer, with you, they put you in a corner and tell you to be quiet?

Often I hear from families and volunteers in Son-Rise Programs, "He/she only ever does it wth me!" If you see yourself having a different type of session than everyone elses, consider yourself lucky! Different is just different, it doesn't mean it's bad, or worse, it's simply different.

Perhaps your child wants to create predictability and gain control and feels like you are a safe bet to do that with. Maybe no-one else in the world can top your baby impression! Could it be that they are getting something out of the reaction you give them?

When we judge that our sessions are not as productive, fun or as successful as someone else's then we are not accepting ourselves and our child as doing the best we can. As a result of that we could be reacting to what they are doing and pushing to change it. That will be an interesting experience for your child and they may push that boundary extra hard.

Feel good about your different session and embrace it as not worse, just different. Often we can see our children be more flexible and change themselves when we embrace such things.

I would love to hear what your child does with you and you only!

Love

From Kate Wilde:

I got up this morning reflecting upon how I wanted to spend my day - not from the perspective of what I was going to do, but from how I was going to feel. I wanted to have a day filled with the fullness that I get from deeply loving the people I encounter. As I was thinking about this I became aware that I wanted to be deeply loving not for the sake of the people I meet today - but because it gives me so much - it feels so good to move through the world this way.

When I am loving I am more creative - I have more energy - I feel warm and excited - I become more affectionate, and see so many things in my life that are working. I feel more embraced by the people in my life, ........food even tastes better!!!!

By having this intention I am really loving myself - and giving myself the best experience of my day possible.
Here's to a day filled with love :  )!!!!!!

What's your day going to be filled with?

Chair Games

Good Morning!

This Friday we bring you Chair Games! Bring a chair into your Son-Rise Program playroom and add a creative twist to old games and introduce new games.

Just click on the video below to see.



Let us know what other games you get up to with your chairs.

With much love to you
Kate

A Note About Shouting/Whining

FROM BECKY: Do you have a child who sometimes shouts, whines or screams as they tell you what they want? I have worked with many children and adults using The Son-Rise Program, where this has been a way that they have communicated at times.

What to do when this happens is to simply explain or ask them to use their regular voice. Know that they are doing the best they can to communicate something in that moment, they also have learnt that using that voice has worked to get them what they want in the past and then sweetly and lovingly, help them to know that it's not helpful to them and they can use their regular non shouty/whiny/screamy/ voice instead.

As a contrast to this, celebrate and respond quickly when they do use their regular voice. Go for it! it works like a charm!

All you need is Love

FROM SIMONE - Have you noticed some days you cook a meal following the recipe exactly the same way as any other time, use the same ingredients, but it tastes much better? Some people joke when this happens that it's because they have used LOVE as an ingredient or in other words it was made with love.

Far from a joke, your love, excitement and enthusiasm when performing any action helps determine the success of the final product you are working on.

Most people however fall in the belief pattern that you need to be dissatisfied enough with what you have at the moment in order to effect any change, there must be a negative for a positive to happen.

Where their autistic children are concerned they then fall into the pattern of judging autism and any so called autistic behaviour as something undesirable that they must hate in order to change.

When I talk about going in my son's playroom with the most possible energy, excitement and enthusiasm or joining his repetitive behaviours with excitement a lot of people judge it to be wrong because following their mindset of "I must hate something to change it" they are just respecting their logic when telling me what I am doing is utterly wrong.

My argument then always is that if you come from a place of hate you have no energy and having no energy you can not effect change. Any change or creation can only be effected with energy and nothing has more energy than love, hate can not beat love. Love can change, mend, heal, create, perform miracles. I just had this experience first hand when my Dad was condemned by the Doctors, in a coma, but now is nearly recovered after I asked for all my friends to pray for him all over the world.

Back to our cooking, in analogy, hating your child's autism in order to change it would be the same as buying the worst eggs, the cheapest flour and sugar in order to make the best cake possible. Love and Acceptance is the road to change.

From: Kim
A belief to share!!!

Hello everyone I am moved to share with you something I continually come back to... the belief that everything we have to offer is more than just enough... its absolutely perfect!

When we go about our days... waking up in the morning... driving to work... walking the dog... working... cooking... cleaning... spending time with our children... spending time with our significant others... eating... spending time in the Son Rise Program Playroom... etc...

WE have the amazing OPPORTUNITY to take on a belief that who we are and where we are are absolutely perfect for that moment! Sinking into this belief opens the door to a world of staying present and in the moment - we are not judging ourselves or thinking about another place, or another time... we are present... and therein opening our eyes, heart, and minds to new and wonderful experiences in the things we may have once called "a daily routine"!

I share this belief because it has only enriched my experience in my everyday life and my many incredible moments spent in the Son Rise Program Playroom!

Have fun discovering something amazing you may have once passed by!!!
Big smiles,
Kim

Being Present - last but not least!

FROM BECKY: Here are some more tools you can use to practice the art of being present in your Son-Rise Program playroom.

1) Love, don't judge! If you feel yourself drifting off from the present moment as you work with your child, the first step back to presentness is to be easy on yourself. Be aware that you "checked out", allow yourself to say "It's OK" that I did that and gently bring your focus back. Doing Son-Rise is about loving ourselves unconditionally as well as our children.

2) Be grateful! If I can find, just one element that I love about the situation then I can build on that and sink even deeper into the present. If I am joining a child who is looking through books, I might notice the details in the pictures of the book or try reading it backwards for fun. The more you things you find to be grateful, the more you will enjoy!

3) Beat your own record! Practice being present in everyday activities where you are totally in the moment (e.g. unstacking the dishwasher, listening to a song on the radio, etc). Time yourself as you practice this. When you find your thoughts or attention drifting to something else, look at your watch and see how long it took, next time you try it you can aim to beat your own score.

Lots of love,

Becky