FROM KATE: Hi Friends! Due to a few technical difficulties, we haven't been able to upload any videos for you the last two weeks - so this week, we're giving you THREE fabulous game ideas to help you!
The first video offers you some ideas on how to introduce your theme. The way that you introduce your theme can be very important, especially with children who are more rigid with new games. Here are some fun ideas to help you:
The second video is for all of you who have children in Stage 4 of the Son-Rise Program Developmental Model. This video gives you ideas on how to help your children transition more easily into a school environment. It's important to practice at home with your child before he or she tries to navigate friendships at school - and this is one idea to help you.
The third video is for all of you who have children who love visual sensory input. So many of our children flap their hands in front of their eyes, flip pages of books close to their faces, play with string by their eyes, etc. Here are some ideas for building interaction from your child's interest in visual input.
I hope you're all having a wonderful week in the playroom with your children. Sending you all love!
Love, Kate
Monday, May 31, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Tybalt Shares His Feelings!
FROM GABY: One of my players wrote this piece about Tybalt for our whole Son-Rise Program team. It's a bit long but certainly worth reading enjoy!
----------------------------------------------------
Dear players,
I have without exaggeration had the most impressive and awesome play session I have ever had with Tybalt. I have already told some of you the story but I want to share it with everyone. It gives us a bit of an insight into what goes on in Tybalt’s head. Here was my session:
Emma phoned me to tell me they where outside with Tybalt. They were close to the shopping mall and she asked me if I would come there as my play session was starting. I met them at the supermarket and Emma and I suggested to Tybalt that we go back home to have a nice cool drink and to play in the room. Tybalt didn’t react and wandered in the direction of the Blokker (another store) where he stood still. Emma and I tried some nice tricks to get him along but Tybalt had his own plans and went into the store to look at the toys and therefor so did we.
Emma told me that earlier on she had had to stop Tybalt when he had run across the train platform while there came a train. Emma and Ellis (the other player who was with them) had been shocked because of this. Tybalt had seemed a bit dazed after the incident. In the store we tried to convince him that he didn’t have his savings money with him and therefor couldn’t buy anything but that we would love to play with him at home. He answered each suggestion with, “Now I will tell you that I don’t have to go away” and variations of such. He sat on the ground looking at the stacks of DVDs and I tried to talk to him why he didn’t want to go go. After a while he said: “I don’t want to go home with you I want to stay alone and I don’t want to go outside”.
"Why not Tybalt?"
"I don’t like it that people laugh about me."
"Who is laughing about you?"
"The people laugh about me because I am crazy," he said (or something like that I don’t remember the exact words).
Emma, who had to leave, left and Tybalt repeated once more that he wanted to be alone and not leave. I asked him if it was okay if I stayed and that was fine with him. So we walked for a while around the store together while he was talking. I noticed that even though it looked as if he was stimming, he was doing his best trying to explain something to me. So I listened very closely to what he said and celebrated each answer he gave me. After a while he said: “Freek, I had a dream.”
"What was the dream about I asked?"
"That I was just as big as you."
"Oh! And how did you like that?"
"Nice?"
It’s really fantastic because the other week I also had had a dream about Tybalt (and I rarely remember my dreams). In my dream he had been as old as I am now. In my dream he still had his physical Tybalt movements with his shoulders and body posture but he was holding a normal conversation without problems. I had found it a beautiful dream. Isn’t it extraordinary that he too had had a dream about the same thing!
Anyway, because he was that talkative while he walked around with a Thomas the Tank Engine train in his hands, I said I would give him the train as a present if he agreed to go home. I don’t realy like doing this, but the store lady was becoming impatient with us. “That’s good,” he said. So then we went home with the train.
Once home we went into the playroom and had the most wonderful interactive session for an hour - even more fantastic as it was the end of the day and he had had an emotional experience! After half an hour we sat next to each other in an imaginary cactus hollow when I noticed he was pondering upon something. "What happened today” I asked him
"Tybalt was playing and wanted to go to the train. Emma and Ellis were angry and Tybalt had a fight."
"Do you still like Emma and Ellis?"
"No, Tybalt had fight."
"But if I understand it right, you were close to the train and trains are dangerous because they move so fast. So I think that Emma and Ellis were scared that something would happen to you because they love you so much!"
All the time while we had the conversation Tybalt looked at me and I’m sure that he understood what I told him. He stayed quiet so I sat quite next to him for about a minute. Then I said, "Tybalt, may I ask you a last question?"
"Yes will you say."
"If I say that Emma and Ellis were scared and that they love you very much do you understand what I mean and do you believe me?"
"Yes."
I found it so beautiful.
Love to you all, Freek
----------------------------------------------------------
In the evening when I brought Tybalt to bed I talked to him about what had happened and he pretty much told the story as I had hear it from Freek. He told me that Emma and Ellis had been scared. I told him that people sometimes react angry when they are scared and he said he understood that. The next day out of the blue he told me that he loved Emma and Ellis. The experience has made all of us look at Tybalt with a new awe. And I am doing dialogues with myself because as a mom I’m seeing him running across the platform and being overprotective as I am I have to let go a bit. However, I have forbidden the players to go anywhere near the trains!
----------------------------------------------------
Dear players,
I have without exaggeration had the most impressive and awesome play session I have ever had with Tybalt. I have already told some of you the story but I want to share it with everyone. It gives us a bit of an insight into what goes on in Tybalt’s head. Here was my session:
Emma phoned me to tell me they where outside with Tybalt. They were close to the shopping mall and she asked me if I would come there as my play session was starting. I met them at the supermarket and Emma and I suggested to Tybalt that we go back home to have a nice cool drink and to play in the room. Tybalt didn’t react and wandered in the direction of the Blokker (another store) where he stood still. Emma and I tried some nice tricks to get him along but Tybalt had his own plans and went into the store to look at the toys and therefor so did we.
Emma told me that earlier on she had had to stop Tybalt when he had run across the train platform while there came a train. Emma and Ellis (the other player who was with them) had been shocked because of this. Tybalt had seemed a bit dazed after the incident. In the store we tried to convince him that he didn’t have his savings money with him and therefor couldn’t buy anything but that we would love to play with him at home. He answered each suggestion with, “Now I will tell you that I don’t have to go away” and variations of such. He sat on the ground looking at the stacks of DVDs and I tried to talk to him why he didn’t want to go go. After a while he said: “I don’t want to go home with you I want to stay alone and I don’t want to go outside”.
"Why not Tybalt?"
"I don’t like it that people laugh about me."
"Who is laughing about you?"
"The people laugh about me because I am crazy," he said (or something like that I don’t remember the exact words).
Emma, who had to leave, left and Tybalt repeated once more that he wanted to be alone and not leave. I asked him if it was okay if I stayed and that was fine with him. So we walked for a while around the store together while he was talking. I noticed that even though it looked as if he was stimming, he was doing his best trying to explain something to me. So I listened very closely to what he said and celebrated each answer he gave me. After a while he said: “Freek, I had a dream.”
"What was the dream about I asked?"
"That I was just as big as you."
"Oh! And how did you like that?"
"Nice?"
It’s really fantastic because the other week I also had had a dream about Tybalt (and I rarely remember my dreams). In my dream he had been as old as I am now. In my dream he still had his physical Tybalt movements with his shoulders and body posture but he was holding a normal conversation without problems. I had found it a beautiful dream. Isn’t it extraordinary that he too had had a dream about the same thing!
Anyway, because he was that talkative while he walked around with a Thomas the Tank Engine train in his hands, I said I would give him the train as a present if he agreed to go home. I don’t realy like doing this, but the store lady was becoming impatient with us. “That’s good,” he said. So then we went home with the train.
Once home we went into the playroom and had the most wonderful interactive session for an hour - even more fantastic as it was the end of the day and he had had an emotional experience! After half an hour we sat next to each other in an imaginary cactus hollow when I noticed he was pondering upon something. "What happened today” I asked him
"Tybalt was playing and wanted to go to the train. Emma and Ellis were angry and Tybalt had a fight."
"Do you still like Emma and Ellis?"
"No, Tybalt had fight."
"But if I understand it right, you were close to the train and trains are dangerous because they move so fast. So I think that Emma and Ellis were scared that something would happen to you because they love you so much!"
All the time while we had the conversation Tybalt looked at me and I’m sure that he understood what I told him. He stayed quiet so I sat quite next to him for about a minute. Then I said, "Tybalt, may I ask you a last question?"
"Yes will you say."
"If I say that Emma and Ellis were scared and that they love you very much do you understand what I mean and do you believe me?"
"Yes."
I found it so beautiful.
Love to you all, Freek
----------------------------------------------------------
In the evening when I brought Tybalt to bed I talked to him about what had happened and he pretty much told the story as I had hear it from Freek. He told me that Emma and Ellis had been scared. I told him that people sometimes react angry when they are scared and he said he understood that. The next day out of the blue he told me that he loved Emma and Ellis. The experience has made all of us look at Tybalt with a new awe. And I am doing dialogues with myself because as a mom I’m seeing him running across the platform and being overprotective as I am I have to let go a bit. However, I have forbidden the players to go anywhere near the trains!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Playroom Insider Tips (3)
FROM KATRINA: Hello, Hello, Hello all of you amazing people. Here is my third installment of tips for a distraction free playroom. Please use what you want, read the Son-Rise program Start Up manual for more information and my previous blogs for other tips.
Sound - In some playrooms I have been in, sounds echoed off the walls, particularly if there were hard wood or linoleum floors, less furniture (which I do recommend, see my first blog), or high ceilings. At first this doesn't present much of a problem, but if you are the sound sensitive child who is spending many many hours in an echo cavern you might have a different perspective. (Sometimes you might be used to the echo, so ask a trusted friend to come in,sing loudly and give their opinion of the echo) In our playroom's at the Autism Treatment Center of America we have some sort of carpet on the ceiling which helps sound proof the room and dulls the sound. The internet has many great ideas on cheap sound proofing, here are some of them (egg crate foam mattress covers - find at thrift store, acoustic foam, carpeting, or carpet pads, tapestries) You can either staple these to the ceiling or hang them on your walls (just make sure they are one solid color if they are on the walls)
Floors - ooh there are so many possibilities of floors. We recommend having an easy to clean floor. At our intensive we have linoleum flooring over special padding (see your Start Up Manual for more information). This makes it easy to give control, as you don't need to worry about your child spilling, peeing, ripping up anything. It's only a matter of wiping it up with a towel or sweeping up with a hand held broom. However, if you have hard flooring without padding, I would encourage you to have something in your playroom to use occasionally for floor games (e.g. crash mat or rug) this is simply for you, to protect your knees so that you can last longer in these games without lots of knee bruising.
I hope this gave you a few more things to think about to help you and your child! Watch out for more tips to come.
Happy Playing!
Love,
Katrina
Sound - In some playrooms I have been in, sounds echoed off the walls, particularly if there were hard wood or linoleum floors, less furniture (which I do recommend, see my first blog), or high ceilings. At first this doesn't present much of a problem, but if you are the sound sensitive child who is spending many many hours in an echo cavern you might have a different perspective. (Sometimes you might be used to the echo, so ask a trusted friend to come in,sing loudly and give their opinion of the echo) In our playroom's at the Autism Treatment Center of America we have some sort of carpet on the ceiling which helps sound proof the room and dulls the sound. The internet has many great ideas on cheap sound proofing, here are some of them (egg crate foam mattress covers - find at thrift store, acoustic foam, carpeting, or carpet pads, tapestries) You can either staple these to the ceiling or hang them on your walls (just make sure they are one solid color if they are on the walls)
Floors - ooh there are so many possibilities of floors. We recommend having an easy to clean floor. At our intensive we have linoleum flooring over special padding (see your Start Up Manual for more information). This makes it easy to give control, as you don't need to worry about your child spilling, peeing, ripping up anything. It's only a matter of wiping it up with a towel or sweeping up with a hand held broom. However, if you have hard flooring without padding, I would encourage you to have something in your playroom to use occasionally for floor games (e.g. crash mat or rug) this is simply for you, to protect your knees so that you can last longer in these games without lots of knee bruising.
I hope this gave you a few more things to think about to help you and your child! Watch out for more tips to come.
Happy Playing!
Love,
Katrina
Singing in the Rain or Shine
FROM SIMONE - In my mother tongue Portuguese there's a saying that goes: "Quem canta seus males espanta", which means "The one who sings scares all evil away". The language of music is international but music associated with language is such a powerful statement. I don't even know if enough research has been done into singing because there are some magical facts associated with it, for example how some autistic children can actually sing but not speak, how people who suffer from stuttering do not stutter when they sing or how accents almost disappear when you sing. Perhaps uttering words into a melodic rhythm can promote brain integration, perhaps it causes the body to produce helpful hormones, no one knows for certain, but the fact everybody knows is that it is a joy to sing and our children seem to love it so why not break into song in your playroom today, better than in the shower, I promise!
Here are some crazy joyful ideas we've had using songs as a motivation:
Here are some crazy joyful ideas we've had using songs as a motivation:
- We love nursery rhymes but we also use whatever song comes to our head, even if your child doesn't know the song you will enjoy it and your child will pick up on your excitement, some notorious ones were "Another one bites the duck" sang to the tune of "Another one bites the dust" from Queen, when my son was biting a rubber duck, "I'm a dinosaur and I'm OK, I sleep all night and I slide all day" throwing a dinosaur toy down the slide to the tune of "I'm a Lamberjack" from the Monty Python, "I wanna rub your hand" rubbing my son's hands with exfoliating gloves to the tune of "I wanna hold your hand" from The Beatles.
- Use songs like "If you happy and you know it" doing crazy slapstick actions, other good ones are " I'm the leader", "Here we go Luby Lou" and "Do as I'm doing"
- Go on google images and search for images that remind you of songs, or search for the song titles and you will get great images. Print them in card size (using a simple photo print wizard), laminate them and stick some Velcro on the back. Put a Velcro band on the wall and stick the cards on it. Get your child to tap on them, take them out to give them to you, or point to the ones they want you to sing for them like if you were their jukebox. This activity also helps with picture symbol recognition, which is a requisite to language.
- Stick colourful stickers of animals or whatever your child's motivation is on your face, ask your child to look at you in order for you to take a sticker out and sing about it, you can them put the stickers you've sang about already on your child's face if they enjoy that or on the table, on a book, etc
- The Photo Rap - We made a photo album with pictures of the volunteers, family members, favourite toys, places etc and we ask my son to turn the pages and choose a picture he wants us to rap about and invent some funny rapping at the spear of the moment making some big movements with our arms imitating rappers. For example: This pic is of Mama, she is a gem, looks after Thiago with no complain, and here is Daddy he loves to laugh when he takes Thiago down to bath, etc
So go on don't wait for it to rain, you could always come to England, no seriously, come rain or shine Siiiiiiinnng!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Jade Hogan - An Inspiration!
FROM BECKY: There was a buzz in the air! The bouncer at the door (Bryn Hogan) took my ticket! As I walked toward the concert hall, I saw the t-shirts on sale!
There was a sign at the door saying "Show starts in 5 minutes!" I was so excited and couldn't wait to see one of my idols performing. The crowd were finally let in and we took our seats. The music started, and out came the star of the show.........Jade Hogan!
For the past 6 months Jade has been planning a show to perform to her friends. I was honored to be invited to this show. Once a child who would cry inconsolably for hours, play with her toys exclusively and repetitiously, over and over again. Here was Jade in all her glory singing, dancing and oozing confidence and fun in front of a crowd.
I think about the years of my life that I spent hiding away from crowds, introverted and self conscious with a fear of being judged. I see this amazing 14 year old girl rocking out with no fear! Maybe if my parents had run a 5 year Son-Rise Program for me when I was young, I would have been able to that too!
Celebrating Jade Hogan!
There was a sign at the door saying "Show starts in 5 minutes!" I was so excited and couldn't wait to see one of my idols performing. The crowd were finally let in and we took our seats. The music started, and out came the star of the show.........Jade Hogan!
For the past 6 months Jade has been planning a show to perform to her friends. I was honored to be invited to this show. Once a child who would cry inconsolably for hours, play with her toys exclusively and repetitiously, over and over again. Here was Jade in all her glory singing, dancing and oozing confidence and fun in front of a crowd.
I think about the years of my life that I spent hiding away from crowds, introverted and self conscious with a fear of being judged. I see this amazing 14 year old girl rocking out with no fear! Maybe if my parents had run a 5 year Son-Rise Program for me when I was young, I would have been able to that too!
Celebrating Jade Hogan!
Friday, May 21, 2010
More of Jack's Playroom Stories!
FROM JACK: Hey again guys. I have just finished spending the day with a wonderful family who are using The Son-Rise Program to help recover their autistic son. Wow - what a day it has been - full of laughter, play and isming. In fact, a perfect example of everything I love about The Son-Rise Program! Let me explain.
This morning when I started my first session with this boy everything was a 'No'! Every time I celebrated? 'No!'. Every time I tried to build an interaction? 'No!'. I noticed that if I even thought about trying out a game idea this fun friend would look over and tell me 'No!'. Aren't our children amazing like that? I loved that my friend was so clear in telling me exactly how to be with him, so I dropped the very idea of building interaction with him and set my intention to join this boy as deeply and excitedly as I could - to really give jim the message that there was no pressure from me for him to interact or to even look at me.
I got so deeply into our ism (stroking our respective blankets) and loved the feeling of the different textures beneath my palms, noticing every detail of the thread and the pattern. I even thought to myself 'I can do this all day, if that is what my friend wants!'
After 45 minutes of solid joining - neither of us even looking at each other, this amazing boy spontaneously came over, took my hand, smiled right in my eyes and said 'Tickle my tummy!' We then proceded to have the most giggly, fun, connected games for almost the entire 2 hours left of the session!
To me, this showed the true power of joining, of letting go of expecting and needing anything from our children, of giving control and deeply, truly loving our children in all their exclusivity and controllingness. This is the real magic of The Son-Rise Program.
Go forth and join, my friends!
Huge love
Jack
This morning when I started my first session with this boy everything was a 'No'! Every time I celebrated? 'No!'. Every time I tried to build an interaction? 'No!'. I noticed that if I even thought about trying out a game idea this fun friend would look over and tell me 'No!'. Aren't our children amazing like that? I loved that my friend was so clear in telling me exactly how to be with him, so I dropped the very idea of building interaction with him and set my intention to join this boy as deeply and excitedly as I could - to really give jim the message that there was no pressure from me for him to interact or to even look at me.
I got so deeply into our ism (stroking our respective blankets) and loved the feeling of the different textures beneath my palms, noticing every detail of the thread and the pattern. I even thought to myself 'I can do this all day, if that is what my friend wants!'
After 45 minutes of solid joining - neither of us even looking at each other, this amazing boy spontaneously came over, took my hand, smiled right in my eyes and said 'Tickle my tummy!' We then proceded to have the most giggly, fun, connected games for almost the entire 2 hours left of the session!
To me, this showed the true power of joining, of letting go of expecting and needing anything from our children, of giving control and deeply, truly loving our children in all their exclusivity and controllingness. This is the real magic of The Son-Rise Program.
Go forth and join, my friends!
Huge love
Jack
Thursday, May 20, 2010
When is a Game a Game?
FROM BECKY: I was having a conversation with a wonderful Son-Rise Program Mom recently and we were talking about how to track her child's games. I would love to give some thoughts and ideas on this subject for those of you who are using forms to track your child's interactive attention span.
A game in Son-Rise Program terms means any interaction that you have with your child which is roughly over 30 seconds long. This could be a time where you are playing back and fourth together (e.g. catch, a board game, etc), a physical activity (e.g. tickling your child, chase, giving them a ride, etc), a conversation (e.g. a two way conversation or a time when one of you is talking and the other is listening) or simply a period of time where you are entertaining your child.
To know they are engaged in the interaction with you, they will be doing one or more of the following.
1)They are looking at you, focused towards you or they stop what they are doing and look at the item you are playing with.
2)They are talking to you (for a child who is stage one on The Son-Rise Program Developmental Model, they could be making unclear sounds).
3)They are being physical in some way (e.g. holding your hand, sitting in your lap, touching your hair, etc).
4)They are walking away from you but not yet focused on something else in the playroom (e.g. what they were doing before, an ism toy, etc).
There will be different levels of engagement that your child will give you during these interactions. It might be as much as full on belly laughs and sustained eye contact as they pull you toward them for more or as little as a fleeting glance.
Look out for the following cues to know the game is over.
1) Your child walks away and you try calling them back a couple of times to no avail.
2) They stop responding to you.
3) They start paying more attention to something else (e.g. staring off, playing repetitiously with a toy, etc).
If your child plays repetitious games where they want you to play a very specific role, see my previous blog about what to do with repetitious games.
http://blog.autismtreatmentcenter.org/2010/01/from-becky-repetitious-games.php
Have fun tracking those games!
A game in Son-Rise Program terms means any interaction that you have with your child which is roughly over 30 seconds long. This could be a time where you are playing back and fourth together (e.g. catch, a board game, etc), a physical activity (e.g. tickling your child, chase, giving them a ride, etc), a conversation (e.g. a two way conversation or a time when one of you is talking and the other is listening) or simply a period of time where you are entertaining your child.
To know they are engaged in the interaction with you, they will be doing one or more of the following.
1)They are looking at you, focused towards you or they stop what they are doing and look at the item you are playing with.
2)They are talking to you (for a child who is stage one on The Son-Rise Program Developmental Model, they could be making unclear sounds).
3)They are being physical in some way (e.g. holding your hand, sitting in your lap, touching your hair, etc).
4)They are walking away from you but not yet focused on something else in the playroom (e.g. what they were doing before, an ism toy, etc).
There will be different levels of engagement that your child will give you during these interactions. It might be as much as full on belly laughs and sustained eye contact as they pull you toward them for more or as little as a fleeting glance.
Look out for the following cues to know the game is over.
1) Your child walks away and you try calling them back a couple of times to no avail.
2) They stop responding to you.
3) They start paying more attention to something else (e.g. staring off, playing repetitiously with a toy, etc).
If your child plays repetitious games where they want you to play a very specific role, see my previous blog about what to do with repetitious games.
http://blog.autismtreatmentcenter.org/2010/01/from-becky-repetitious-games.php
Have fun tracking those games!
If you want to change the world then first you have to change yourself.
FROM ALISON: I have been running a Son Rise program for my son Jordan for 4 years now. About 2 years ago I got to the point where I felt that we had plateaued. Jordan had made great progress up to this point, but he seemed to have some challenges like his interactive attention span that weren't moving, I felt that I had run out of ideas and I wondered whether this was it for us, that no more progress was possible. Then I went to volunteer on the New Frontiers Program in London. Whilst on the program William made a comment that sometimes you need to change yourself in order to help your child. As soon as he said that, it knew that applied to me. I knew that there were things in my life that were challenging for me and that I was unhappy about, so I decided to go to the Option Institute to do an adult program. I decided to go to the Exceptional woman program first. This program was amazing for me, it showed me a whole new way to be, I met women who celebrated and loved themselves for who they were and they loved me too. For the first time in my life I really started to look at some of my unhappiness and to learn that I was choosing it that way - which was totally OK, but I could do it differently if I wanted. I felt so loved and celebrated just as I was but with the opportunity to change. This program changed my life and then when I went home I took what I learned into the playroom. I have been back to the Institute for more programs doing Optimal Self Trust, Calm Amid Chaos, Empower Yourself and the Son Rise wide awake. Each program has built on the teachings of the previous ones. Each time I have come home with more clarity about how to really go for what I want both in my own life as well as in the playroom. Jordan has reaped the benefits of my working on myself as I am so much happier less judgmental and present. Jordan has been making some wonderful progress again and now is at the stage where I can teach him about the Option Process too.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Insider Playroom Tips (2)
FROM KATRINA: All right y'all, I have racked mine and my fellow facilitator's brains to give you insider tips to the ultimate distraction free playroom. (Please note that these are simply ideas and everyone's playroom is individual and I truly believe that YOU know what is best for your child).
When playing in families' playrooms here are things that we frequently recommend parent's look into:
LIGHTING- Make sure to not use florescent lighting as this is particularly distracting with various hums, flickers, and the light itself can be overstimulating. Also, watch to see what kind of light your room receives from the sun over the day and how this affects your child. Some children are bothered by too much light, in which case you could use curtains, blinds, or turn off your playroom lights. If you have a dimmer you could dim the lights when your child seems more stimulated.
WINDOWS - Many times I go to homes and children spend a lot of time looking out the window -it is a huge distraction. If you want to keep the light in the room try covering the windows with rough Plexiglas's or wall paper (parents who have done this please comment with what you have used to help others)
NON-STIMULATING WALLS - Keep the walls as distraction free as possible. Take down photos, borders or wall paper. Paint the room one color (if possible a neutral or non-bright color (sometimes I think even white is too bright on sensitive eyes)) If your child likes to hang up drawings or art work, encourage them to take them down at the end of the day or week (perhaps keep a scrapbook for him/her if he wants to keep things)
Here are just a few ideas. Be sure to watch out as there are many more ideas to come. Feel free to post your own comments, questions, or ideas as well.
Love,
Katrina
When playing in families' playrooms here are things that we frequently recommend parent's look into:
LIGHTING- Make sure to not use florescent lighting as this is particularly distracting with various hums, flickers, and the light itself can be overstimulating. Also, watch to see what kind of light your room receives from the sun over the day and how this affects your child. Some children are bothered by too much light, in which case you could use curtains, blinds, or turn off your playroom lights. If you have a dimmer you could dim the lights when your child seems more stimulated.
WINDOWS - Many times I go to homes and children spend a lot of time looking out the window -it is a huge distraction. If you want to keep the light in the room try covering the windows with rough Plexiglas's or wall paper (parents who have done this please comment with what you have used to help others)
NON-STIMULATING WALLS - Keep the walls as distraction free as possible. Take down photos, borders or wall paper. Paint the room one color (if possible a neutral or non-bright color (sometimes I think even white is too bright on sensitive eyes)) If your child likes to hang up drawings or art work, encourage them to take them down at the end of the day or week (perhaps keep a scrapbook for him/her if he wants to keep things)
Here are just a few ideas. Be sure to watch out as there are many more ideas to come. Feel free to post your own comments, questions, or ideas as well.
Love,
Katrina
Learning from our Children
FROM SIMONE - Although many of the ASD symptoms I had as a child made difficult for me to have relationships, friends, to socialize, some symptoms I still like to have or perhaps I choose to have and you will find that if you look your child closer there is a lot to be admired and a lot to learn from them.
If we observe our children in the spectrum we will find they have great authenticity, it is almost as if they are unable to lie, or are very bad at lying, as if lying was a foreign language they struggled to speak.
Another great characteristic I love in some ASD individuals is how tidy and orderly they are, and how thorough. How artistic and aware of their own space and how to arrange objects around them.
Perhaps my favourite aspect in some ASD individuals is how they are so able to live in the present, no resentments or fear of the future.
What about finding beauty in simple things? One of the definitions of autism is the inability to use imagination or play with imagination, which is a statement I will always debate, how do they know? Are you in the child's mind? When I just sat down in the corner of the school playground at recess, rolling my hair on my fingers, staring into space, I was indeed imagining a whole different world in my head, much more appealing than the one around me. I didn't play with the other children because I wasn't able to, but because I thought they were boring, they needed a doll and a toy bed to put the doll to sleep and I knew dolls didn't need to sleep so why waste my time? Instead I imagined the classroom in my mind was a museum full of dinosaur bones and I was a Paleontologist, my desired future profession.
In the same way I didn't play because I didn't need to, I sometimes wonder my son does not speak because he doesn't need to, as I could swear he reads my thoughts. Another debatable autistic symptom, inability to read social cues, other peoples intentions or emotions. If I don't feel well I can fool everybody by saying I am ok, but not my son. When I interview new volunteers, after my initial talk, I present them to my son who will "tell" me if they are trustworthy or not, by either cuddling them or looking as frightened of them as if they were a wild animal ready to attack him! He never fails to point me in the right direction of people who will be good for his Program. The volunteers I had trouble with were the ones I insisted in Keeping despite his frightened reaction to begin with, I no longer make that mistake, no matter how much I like them.
When playing with your child today look closer, there's a lot to be learnt from them.
Enjoy all your little teachers!
Me, 6 years old, whenever told to smile for a picture I produced this weird smile and never looked at the camera, I was very happy though, so don't judge happiness through smiles!
If we observe our children in the spectrum we will find they have great authenticity, it is almost as if they are unable to lie, or are very bad at lying, as if lying was a foreign language they struggled to speak.
Another great characteristic I love in some ASD individuals is how tidy and orderly they are, and how thorough. How artistic and aware of their own space and how to arrange objects around them.
Perhaps my favourite aspect in some ASD individuals is how they are so able to live in the present, no resentments or fear of the future.
What about finding beauty in simple things? One of the definitions of autism is the inability to use imagination or play with imagination, which is a statement I will always debate, how do they know? Are you in the child's mind? When I just sat down in the corner of the school playground at recess, rolling my hair on my fingers, staring into space, I was indeed imagining a whole different world in my head, much more appealing than the one around me. I didn't play with the other children because I wasn't able to, but because I thought they were boring, they needed a doll and a toy bed to put the doll to sleep and I knew dolls didn't need to sleep so why waste my time? Instead I imagined the classroom in my mind was a museum full of dinosaur bones and I was a Paleontologist, my desired future profession.
In the same way I didn't play because I didn't need to, I sometimes wonder my son does not speak because he doesn't need to, as I could swear he reads my thoughts. Another debatable autistic symptom, inability to read social cues, other peoples intentions or emotions. If I don't feel well I can fool everybody by saying I am ok, but not my son. When I interview new volunteers, after my initial talk, I present them to my son who will "tell" me if they are trustworthy or not, by either cuddling them or looking as frightened of them as if they were a wild animal ready to attack him! He never fails to point me in the right direction of people who will be good for his Program. The volunteers I had trouble with were the ones I insisted in Keeping despite his frightened reaction to begin with, I no longer make that mistake, no matter how much I like them.
When playing with your child today look closer, there's a lot to be learnt from them.
Enjoy all your little teachers!
Me, 6 years old, whenever told to smile for a picture I produced this weird smile and never looked at the camera, I was very happy though, so don't judge happiness through smiles!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Silence is Golden!
FROM BECKY: Last week I had the privilege of working with a lovely family from my own home county of Kent in England. This family had brought one of their fabulous volunteers with them and part of my time with them was spent giving her feedback on her time in The Son-Rise Program playroom.
As she entered the playroom, she was loving, vibrant passionate and sweet. She was also very, very talkative. She spent the session commentating on what was going on in the playroom. She talked about everything the child did, everything she was thinking and everything that happened.
During our class, I was curious to know why that was the way she had done it. She replied "I think I'm afraid of awkward silences". It brought up an interesting discussion. Have you ever sat quietly with a loved one, maybe at a restaurant or while relaxing and enjoying a nice view? At times, there are silences.
Does it mean that we love that person any less?, no! Does it mean that things are awkward?, no? In the playroom, we want our children to process what is going on and experience room to be inspired to speak or spontaneously and add to the interaction. There is no need to "Fill in the gaps".
Next time you are in the playroom, think about how it feels for your child if you are continually talking about what's going on, there will be no need for your child to do or say anything if everything is already being said and done.
As she entered the playroom, she was loving, vibrant passionate and sweet. She was also very, very talkative. She spent the session commentating on what was going on in the playroom. She talked about everything the child did, everything she was thinking and everything that happened.
During our class, I was curious to know why that was the way she had done it. She replied "I think I'm afraid of awkward silences". It brought up an interesting discussion. Have you ever sat quietly with a loved one, maybe at a restaurant or while relaxing and enjoying a nice view? At times, there are silences.
Does it mean that we love that person any less?, no! Does it mean that things are awkward?, no? In the playroom, we want our children to process what is going on and experience room to be inspired to speak or spontaneously and add to the interaction. There is no need to "Fill in the gaps".
Next time you are in the playroom, think about how it feels for your child if you are continually talking about what's going on, there will be no need for your child to do or say anything if everything is already being said and done.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Conversation Skills Take 10
FROM BECKY: Hi Everyone! Here are a couple of ideas which will help you transition easily to conversational loops with your child The Son-Rise Program playroom.
1)Make sure that your child is at least stage three on The Son-Rise Program Developmental Model before really going for conversational loops as your goal.
2)Experiment with your child answering yes/no questions and choice questions before going to open ended questions. The yes/no and choice questions offer your child a prompt that they can learn from so they can get used to answering questions before challenging them to be totally spontaneous in their answers.
3)Wait until your child is highly motivated before working on conversational loops. If our child is talking repetitiously, not looking at you or responding to you then join them until they show you they are open. You will know they are open when they pause, give you a look or pay attention to you in some ways.
This is the last blog in this series. I would love to hear how it goes.
1)Make sure that your child is at least stage three on The Son-Rise Program Developmental Model before really going for conversational loops as your goal.
2)Experiment with your child answering yes/no questions and choice questions before going to open ended questions. The yes/no and choice questions offer your child a prompt that they can learn from so they can get used to answering questions before challenging them to be totally spontaneous in their answers.
3)Wait until your child is highly motivated before working on conversational loops. If our child is talking repetitiously, not looking at you or responding to you then join them until they show you they are open. You will know they are open when they pause, give you a look or pay attention to you in some ways.
This is the last blog in this series. I would love to hear how it goes.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Tybalts First Fight!
FROM GABY: We just had the most amazing experience. When the first volunteer came to play, I went out to jog. Upon returning home, the volunteer opened the door and told me I had better go upstairs because Tybalt was crying, they had had an argument. I went upstairs and found Tybalt sitting on a chair. Between big sobs he said "mommy Jorie was naughty". I asked him to come and sit with me on the floor which he first didn't want to do but after explaining I was tired from running he did. I asked him to explain what had happened. Between the sobs came the words "behind the toilet" "I kicked". I asked him if he had been hiding from Joeri and then he had kicked him when Joeri wanted him to go upstairs. Yes he said. So I said "so you had also been naughty". He nodded yes.He asked me to read a book which I said I would do but that we first had to take care of the argument. I called up Joeri and had Tybalt repeat the story and then asked Joeri what had happened.. Joeri said he had picked him up after Tybalt had kicked him and brought him upstairs. So I said to Tybalt you had kicked Joeri which Joeri didn't like and then Joeri picked you up which you didn't like. Yes Tybalt answered. So actually you had both been a bit naughty. Yes Tybalt answered.Maybe if you both said you are sorry you can be friends again? Because Tybalt didn't want to say it first Joeri said sorry and then Tybalt said he wouldn't do it again. When Joeri went down to get me a glass of water and my reading glasses I said to Tybalt all friends have arguments sometimes but real friends always make it up again and there came this wonderful teary smile on his face. I then told him a story about how I once I had a fight with a friend when I was a bit younger then he is now. The expression on his face when I told him the story was great like he almost couldn't believe his mom had done this. It was such an amazing learning experience for all of us and the very first time Tybalt resolved an argument! For me a great opportunity to help Tybalt with this and a great opportunity for feedback with my player who had felt uncomfortable with the situation. Tybalt never makes a problem with going to the playroom as he loves it. Showing the player that carrying him to his room isn't the most effective way but to stay patient and invite him to come is. Hooray for this experience. Afterward, I read a story for Tybalt as I had promised and he was his old self again.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Games and Themes - Pin the Hair on Your Friend!
FROM KATE: Hi everyone! This week's game idea for all of you is a variation on Pin the Tail on the Donkey - to help your children verbally participate in games. This is a great example of how a few simple props can create a game that's silly and fun for you and your child.
I hope you're all having a wonderful time with your children. Enjoy!
I hope you're all having a wonderful time with your children. Enjoy!
love, Kate
Just Three Breaths!
FROM WILLIAM: I was reading a book on meditation and Being Present and one of the suggestions for helping yourself at time when you feel like you have so much to handle and accomplish (which I am sure applies to most of you!) was to stop and take 3 slow breaths.
As you take each breath in, focus on the physical sensation of taking it into your body and letting it go. Allow your other thoughts (of things to do, etc.) to fade and then put all of your attention on the sensation of the breath coming in through your mouth or nose, going down your throat and filling your lungs. The important part to doing this is the putting all your attention on your breath - don't do this in a robotic way - make yourself pay attention to each and every breath.
I have been doing this over the past week and I find it to be a great way to ground myself, relax with the here and now and to become present with what I am doing.
Enjoy stopping and becoming more present with your children and your lives.
Love and smiles,
William
As you take each breath in, focus on the physical sensation of taking it into your body and letting it go. Allow your other thoughts (of things to do, etc.) to fade and then put all of your attention on the sensation of the breath coming in through your mouth or nose, going down your throat and filling your lungs. The important part to doing this is the putting all your attention on your breath - don't do this in a robotic way - make yourself pay attention to each and every breath.
I have been doing this over the past week and I find it to be a great way to ground myself, relax with the here and now and to become present with what I am doing.
Enjoy stopping and becoming more present with your children and your lives.
Love and smiles,
William
The Joy of Friendship
FROM JACK: Hello friends! Jack here... I am now back in the UK, supporting Son-Rise Program families in playrooms around the country! It is the most incredible job, getting to spend time with families, in their homes and in their playrooms. There are already so many heart- warming stories to tell, but I want to talk about two instances in particular.
Last week I had the pleasure of working with two children with whom I had volunteered before I moved to America to pursue professional training at the Autism Treatment Center of America. I had been very close to both these boys (one 6, one 8) but being on the other side if the Atlantic meant that I hadn't seen them for a long time. Of course I was super excited to see both of them again, but I was totally bowled over by both their responses to seeing me.
One boy's face lit up into the hugest grin when he saw me, pulled me towards him and spontaneously covered me in kisses! This continued throughout the two days I spent with him. The other boy, after showing me every single new thing in his house (including the new faucets and silverwear they had bought since I'd last been there), sat me down and very seriously said "Jack, you are never to go to America ever again! It's too long, and I missed you!". This, again, completely spontaneous.
What really struck me about both these instances, obviously apart from being hugely touched and grateful, was the power of The Son-Rise Program in helping these two autistic boys create socially typical attachments and friendships. The power of simply being loving, simply accepting, simply adoring everything about our children does not go unnoticed by them. They feel it and, I believe, in their own way they are profoundly grateful. I feel so blessed to have these two friends who were able to express it back.
With huge love to you all
Jack
Last week I had the pleasure of working with two children with whom I had volunteered before I moved to America to pursue professional training at the Autism Treatment Center of America. I had been very close to both these boys (one 6, one 8) but being on the other side if the Atlantic meant that I hadn't seen them for a long time. Of course I was super excited to see both of them again, but I was totally bowled over by both their responses to seeing me.
One boy's face lit up into the hugest grin when he saw me, pulled me towards him and spontaneously covered me in kisses! This continued throughout the two days I spent with him. The other boy, after showing me every single new thing in his house (including the new faucets and silverwear they had bought since I'd last been there), sat me down and very seriously said "Jack, you are never to go to America ever again! It's too long, and I missed you!". This, again, completely spontaneous.
What really struck me about both these instances, obviously apart from being hugely touched and grateful, was the power of The Son-Rise Program in helping these two autistic boys create socially typical attachments and friendships. The power of simply being loving, simply accepting, simply adoring everything about our children does not go unnoticed by them. They feel it and, I believe, in their own way they are profoundly grateful. I feel so blessed to have these two friends who were able to express it back.
With huge love to you all
Jack
Thursday, May 13, 2010
The Best Laid Plans.....
From Alison: So I wracked my brains for an idea for a game to take into the playroom and when I drew a blank I consulted with the big wide world of my friends on Facebook. We pooled our collective ideas and I chose one then adapted it a bit to suit Jordan's motivations and then headed off to the playroom. What happened next demonstrates why I love The Son Rise Program over every other approach.
I entered the playroom with my game, excited by the idea of a playing a treasure hunt. Immediately Jordan wanted to play with me, but everytime I suggested the treasure hunt he turned it down and then chose to talk about something else. So, I followed his lead always going with him rather than against him. I think I probably suggested the treasure hunt about 10 times during the session and we never played it. But, and here is the cool piece, what we did instead was so much more valuable to me than playing the treasure hunt game - we had a conversation about how you become friends with someone. We talked about how two people have to agree to want to be friends in order for us to actually be friends. We talked about how you have to be a friend in order to have friends. It was one of those conversations that I always dreamed of having. That to me, is why Son Rise is so amazing, when you go with the child who knows what magical place you might end up. If I had forced my game on him we would never have had that wonderful conversation.
I entered the playroom with my game, excited by the idea of a playing a treasure hunt. Immediately Jordan wanted to play with me, but everytime I suggested the treasure hunt he turned it down and then chose to talk about something else. So, I followed his lead always going with him rather than against him. I think I probably suggested the treasure hunt about 10 times during the session and we never played it. But, and here is the cool piece, what we did instead was so much more valuable to me than playing the treasure hunt game - we had a conversation about how you become friends with someone. We talked about how two people have to agree to want to be friends in order for us to actually be friends. We talked about how you have to be a friend in order to have friends. It was one of those conversations that I always dreamed of having. That to me, is why Son Rise is so amazing, when you go with the child who knows what magical place you might end up. If I had forced my game on him we would never have had that wonderful conversation.
As They Grow Older, So Does the Ism Change
From Gaby: This is my very first Blog and with 3 E's I'm starting this new page of our Son-Rise experience. For the past 6 years I have shared this amazing Son-Rise journey with my son Tybalt. Once severely autistic and mentally retarded. The doctors gave us no hope he would be as a plant never to speak a word. The advice was to put him in a home and concentrate on his sister. Tybalt mean time though still autistic is a happy gregarious boy speaking full sentences, learning to read, he shares that he loves us and that he misses me when I go to work. The periods that he seems normal and not autistic ,are longer each day. In wonder I look at how far my son has come. He does still ism and this sometimes gives hilarious situations like last week. When I came home after work one evening I found him playing in his room. He was sitting on the floor stimming over a book. He loves holding long pieces of paper in his hand which he calls a "wiebel." In his right hand he held a paper wiebel but in his left hand he held the new ( and first ever) bra of his sister. He held it between the two cups and with great dexterity he manged to move it in a magical way. Feeling his sister might not like him using it I explained it wasn't a wiebel but his sisters bra and that he might still be too young to play with it. NO I'M NOT he said but sweet as he let me have it.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Nutritious and Delicious
FROM BEARS: Actually, I am not referring to food, but to people who grace my life. When I became happier, my unhappy friends left. When I became authentic, my inauthentic companions fled. When I became more loving, those filled with anger didn't want to be near me anymore. Be the self you want and you make room for others like you to find you. Very cool!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
The Giving Time of Year
FROM CAROLINA: It's that time of year again - when we're getting ready to go to London to do our advanced training course - Son-Rise Program New Frontiers - for over 100 parents in the UK. Each year we rely on the help of volunteers who give their time for the entire week to make the program run smoothly. These amazing people are all Son-Rise Program parents or Son-Rise Program volunteers - and they rearrange their lives for an entire week to come help other Son-Rise Program families.
They find child care, they buy flights and train tickets to get to us, they arrange to stay with friends nearby and they make plans to get up early every morning and brave the London commute to get there hours before the program participants. And they absolutely love every minute of it.
They arrive bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, grinning ear-to-ear, greeting each other like family. They are so excited to give their time, that I'm already receiving emails counting down the days until our arrival. We don't even arrive in the country until June, but their giving has already begun.It's just a giving time of year.
They give their time and their love because they remember what it was like to be a parent looking for help. They remember those days when they felt so lost and alone - when they didn't have hope for their children. They remember the days when all they wanted was someone to reach out a hand and offer help. And they remember the day they first attended their Son-Rise Program Start-Up - and they remember the hope they felt as they completed that week. This is their way of reaching out a hand and offering hope to someone else.
I have tears of gratitude in my eyes just thinking about it.
To all of you who give your time, and who are already moving your lives around to come help us - thank you. Thank you a million times for what you do.
You inspire me to make every single day into a giving time of year.
They find child care, they buy flights and train tickets to get to us, they arrange to stay with friends nearby and they make plans to get up early every morning and brave the London commute to get there hours before the program participants. And they absolutely love every minute of it.
They arrive bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, grinning ear-to-ear, greeting each other like family. They are so excited to give their time, that I'm already receiving emails counting down the days until our arrival. We don't even arrive in the country until June, but their giving has already begun.It's just a giving time of year.
They give their time and their love because they remember what it was like to be a parent looking for help. They remember those days when they felt so lost and alone - when they didn't have hope for their children. They remember the days when all they wanted was someone to reach out a hand and offer help. And they remember the day they first attended their Son-Rise Program Start-Up - and they remember the hope they felt as they completed that week. This is their way of reaching out a hand and offering hope to someone else.
I have tears of gratitude in my eyes just thinking about it.
To all of you who give your time, and who are already moving your lives around to come help us - thank you. Thank you a million times for what you do.
You inspire me to make every single day into a giving time of year.
With love and gratitude,
Carolina
Everything is Possible
FROM SIMONE - I have been watching on British Television a series of documentaries commemorating 70 years of the British Blitz on the Second World War, when British cities were bombed for 5 years. They have re-created a small street with materials, building techniques, dressing and props exactly as you would have had at the time and their aim was to submit it to a series of bombs exactly like the ones from the time and measure with modern instruments the scale of destruction and terror people endured.
One thing really stood out for me in the whole experience. There was a prop, a bottle of milk, just like the ones that are still left by people's doors by the milkman, sitting by one of the doors in Blitz Street, as they called it. They submitted the street to bombs with 50, 100, 500, 1000 tons of explosive and also the equivalent of a V-1 and V2 rockets but our bottle of milk was absolutely intact at the end of the experiment, except for a bit of the milk had poured out, just a bit.
If any material would survive such explosions you would have never thought it would have been glass. An experiment that was set out to prove the amount of horror people went through also proved another phenomenon of the Blitz, that just as this bottle proved, people are quite hard to break or give up and that anything is possible.
No pum intended, this week I was bombarded by insults and hate mail because I dared to mention I treated my son's autism and I, myself , had recovered from autism. There is a new wave of, surprisingly enough, autistic people, that judge it is offensive to mention such words as cure, recovery, treatment, in relation to autism as they claim it is not a disease as such. They claim by mentioning these words we are implying that autism is something bad or wrong that needs to be corrected and all they want is for it to be accepted the way it is. I would like to take a minute to consider these thoughts through an Option Process perspective.
One of the principles that are very attractive for me from the Option Process is the notion that I can totally love what I have at the moment but still aspire to change it. I also find it the most difficult concept to explain, since it is so ingrained in our society that the word change carries the judgement that if I want to change something it's because I dislike what I have at the moment. It's in our language, when I say for example: "I'm not happy with this new job" I don't mean I am sad, cry, sob, sob, I mean I want to change it. Now human beings love change. We are one of the most adaptable species on Earth, we love travelling and experiencing new things. If however we live by the notion that for acquiring change I therefore need to dislike my present situation, I imagine there's a lot of unhappy people out there, for change is a constant factor in all our lives.
Change is a powerful event. In nature, whenever there is change, of seasons, of night and day, of tides, of atoms from a place to another, there's a great amount of energy being produced and being dispersed. So no wonder that to experience change in our lives we would need too a great amount of energy. The tools we are used to employ in order to effect change, unhappiness, dissatisfaction, non acceptance, are very deprived of energy. Can you imagine yourself being unhappy and having loads of energy to jump around and go to the gym? Well that's how you could perhaps change from a limp body to a toned one. Can you imagine yourself hating cooking then embarking in a total new healthy diet? Well that is how you would perhaps change your body from diseased to healthy, and we could go on. If on the other hand we used Energy, Excitement and Enthusiasm (Our 3E's!) when pursuing change, in other words, happiness and excitement for the way my child is at the moment then I would have the energy necessary for my miracle, my change.
Looking through this perspective we are giving what this new current of autistic people are really asking for, acceptance and we are showing them that there is acceptance and change, but not only that, but that there is change through acceptance. If they claim, why put so much energy into something that it is not possible, or difficult, I would tell them of our bottle of milk, supposed to be fragile by everybody standards, but nonetheless stronger than brick or mortar, and I would say in your journey with your child, be a bottle of milk, casein-free perhaps, but be a bottle of milk, because you never know, everything is possible!
One thing really stood out for me in the whole experience. There was a prop, a bottle of milk, just like the ones that are still left by people's doors by the milkman, sitting by one of the doors in Blitz Street, as they called it. They submitted the street to bombs with 50, 100, 500, 1000 tons of explosive and also the equivalent of a V-1 and V2 rockets but our bottle of milk was absolutely intact at the end of the experiment, except for a bit of the milk had poured out, just a bit.
If any material would survive such explosions you would have never thought it would have been glass. An experiment that was set out to prove the amount of horror people went through also proved another phenomenon of the Blitz, that just as this bottle proved, people are quite hard to break or give up and that anything is possible.
No pum intended, this week I was bombarded by insults and hate mail because I dared to mention I treated my son's autism and I, myself , had recovered from autism. There is a new wave of, surprisingly enough, autistic people, that judge it is offensive to mention such words as cure, recovery, treatment, in relation to autism as they claim it is not a disease as such. They claim by mentioning these words we are implying that autism is something bad or wrong that needs to be corrected and all they want is for it to be accepted the way it is. I would like to take a minute to consider these thoughts through an Option Process perspective.
One of the principles that are very attractive for me from the Option Process is the notion that I can totally love what I have at the moment but still aspire to change it. I also find it the most difficult concept to explain, since it is so ingrained in our society that the word change carries the judgement that if I want to change something it's because I dislike what I have at the moment. It's in our language, when I say for example: "I'm not happy with this new job" I don't mean I am sad, cry, sob, sob, I mean I want to change it. Now human beings love change. We are one of the most adaptable species on Earth, we love travelling and experiencing new things. If however we live by the notion that for acquiring change I therefore need to dislike my present situation, I imagine there's a lot of unhappy people out there, for change is a constant factor in all our lives.
Change is a powerful event. In nature, whenever there is change, of seasons, of night and day, of tides, of atoms from a place to another, there's a great amount of energy being produced and being dispersed. So no wonder that to experience change in our lives we would need too a great amount of energy. The tools we are used to employ in order to effect change, unhappiness, dissatisfaction, non acceptance, are very deprived of energy. Can you imagine yourself being unhappy and having loads of energy to jump around and go to the gym? Well that's how you could perhaps change from a limp body to a toned one. Can you imagine yourself hating cooking then embarking in a total new healthy diet? Well that is how you would perhaps change your body from diseased to healthy, and we could go on. If on the other hand we used Energy, Excitement and Enthusiasm (Our 3E's!) when pursuing change, in other words, happiness and excitement for the way my child is at the moment then I would have the energy necessary for my miracle, my change.
Looking through this perspective we are giving what this new current of autistic people are really asking for, acceptance and we are showing them that there is acceptance and change, but not only that, but that there is change through acceptance. If they claim, why put so much energy into something that it is not possible, or difficult, I would tell them of our bottle of milk, supposed to be fragile by everybody standards, but nonetheless stronger than brick or mortar, and I would say in your journey with your child, be a bottle of milk, casein-free perhaps, but be a bottle of milk, because you never know, everything is possible!
Monday, May 10, 2010
Games and Themes - The Itsy Bitsy Spider
FROM KATE: Hello everyone! This week, we have a video for you about how to make a simple theme for your child with materials that you already have in your home. You don't have to buy the perfect toy to help your child play with you - you can create hundreds of easy, simple themes for your children with everyday items you already have in your home.
Have a wonderful time with your home-made themes!
With love,
Kate
Have a wonderful time with your home-made themes!
With love,
Kate
Friday, May 7, 2010
Yet More Conversation Skills!
FROM BECKY: When working on conversational skills with children and adults at The Autism Treatment Center of America, something that I have seen to be incredibly helpful in inspiring our children to want to converse with us is to use explanations.
Many of our children are motivated to have friends. I have specifically seen this with children who are at stage 3 and 4 of The Son-Rise Program Developmental Model (available for download on our website).
They see their siblings playing with their friends or are curious about their cousins or children they have seen in the neighborhood, park, etc and often play beside them, showing an interest yet without fully jumping in to the interaction with them.
In the one to one environment of the playroom, this is the place for your child to practice being friends. Tell your child that when they talk to you, show an interest in you and tell you about themselves, it makes them a really great friend.
Celebrate your child for any attempt they make in their conversations with you in a specific way so they are aware of developing friendship skills (e.g. "I love that you asked where I was going later? You are a such a good friend", "Sometimes friends like to tell each other about themselves", etc.)
In doing this, you are sewing that seed for them so that they know they are heading in the right direction to being socially successful.
Try it, and let me know how it goes.
Lots of Love.
Many of our children are motivated to have friends. I have specifically seen this with children who are at stage 3 and 4 of The Son-Rise Program Developmental Model (available for download on our website).
They see their siblings playing with their friends or are curious about their cousins or children they have seen in the neighborhood, park, etc and often play beside them, showing an interest yet without fully jumping in to the interaction with them.
In the one to one environment of the playroom, this is the place for your child to practice being friends. Tell your child that when they talk to you, show an interest in you and tell you about themselves, it makes them a really great friend.
Celebrate your child for any attempt they make in their conversations with you in a specific way so they are aware of developing friendship skills (e.g. "I love that you asked where I was going later? You are a such a good friend", "Sometimes friends like to tell each other about themselves", etc.)
In doing this, you are sewing that seed for them so that they know they are heading in the right direction to being socially successful.
Try it, and let me know how it goes.
Lots of Love.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
You are an amazing reader!
From Katrina: Did that title encourage you to read my blog? I love celebrations, and wanna know a secret? I love to be celebrated, come on, be honest who doesn't? Hearing someone tell me how great a job I did is a big motivator for me to do more of the same. And do you want to know something else? Its a big motivator for my husband too, this amazing man makes me breakfast almost every morning, his breakfast burritos are soo good, of course I have to tell him. Even though he makes me breakfast every day, I always thank him...he loves to hear it and it works for me. The more I celebrate my husband the more likely he is to make me another burrito tomorrow.
This is the same with our children. They are autistic, this essentially means that they have a hard time relating - looking, talking, attending; thus-every time they do this they are overcoming a barrier to be with us. This is amazing!!!! Celebrating our children acknowledges that have made an effort towards being with us. Often times when children have advanced into higher stages, parents or volunteers drop the celebrations, why? Does it stop being exciting that our children are relating to us? I hope not. Are we no longer wanting to encourage them to continue to look or talk? I doubt it. Therefore celebrations are key in any stage of development.
Here at the Autism Treatment Center of America we really want every child to know how amazing we think they are. We celebrate as much as we can (its so funny too because my friends are often celebrating my 7 month old baby's eye contact- she really is a great looker though:) ) I really encourage you to tell your child frequently how great you think they are, and add in a celebration from me too!
I think you all are fantastic for celebrating your children!
Love,
Katrina
This is the same with our children. They are autistic, this essentially means that they have a hard time relating - looking, talking, attending; thus-every time they do this they are overcoming a barrier to be with us. This is amazing!!!! Celebrating our children acknowledges that have made an effort towards being with us. Often times when children have advanced into higher stages, parents or volunteers drop the celebrations, why? Does it stop being exciting that our children are relating to us? I hope not. Are we no longer wanting to encourage them to continue to look or talk? I doubt it. Therefore celebrations are key in any stage of development.
Here at the Autism Treatment Center of America we really want every child to know how amazing we think they are. We celebrate as much as we can (its so funny too because my friends are often celebrating my 7 month old baby's eye contact- she really is a great looker though:) ) I really encourage you to tell your child frequently how great you think they are, and add in a celebration from me too!
I think you all are fantastic for celebrating your children!
Love,
Katrina
Love your Food
FROM SIMONE - I was probably one of the fussiest eaters ever. My epilepsy, of the fainting type, made sure I was unconscious most of the day, so I had no time to eat, my multiple food sensitivities meant I vomited several times a day and I grew up seeing food as something that made me ill and avoided and dreaded meal times at all cost. I was always underweight and during puberty I started having psychological problems because I did not develop into adulthood at the same pace as my peers. Later on my early twenties as I came to live in Britain I slowly developed a passion for eating and fell in love with food and because of my son's autism I fell in love for healthy eating and experimenting with flavours to marry the concept of healthy and tasty.
During my troubled years the ingredient that was missing was love. Not love from my Parents, who loved me unconditionally, but my own love for eating and for food. I saw food as an obligation. My Mother fell into a cycle of because I didn't like anything she would stick to the same one or two dishes I would eat, just so that I ate, I never mentioned I was bored of the food because it never occurred to me, she always cooked the same thing and I always thought that was the way it was supposed to be, until I came to Britain.
All of a sudden I was faced with a supermarket full of different colours, textures, smells that were very appealing to my high functioning artistic mind, cookery Programmes on TV with young trendy chefs, colourful magazines. The habit of eating I didn't like was suddenly presented to me through my motivation, colours, textures, combining ingredients, when I saw cooking as a form of art I started to enjoy doing it, at first for my flatmates, and then later I started eating and I liked it!
My son happened to be the opposite, he will eat anything, even non-foods, his latest venture, superglue, sent us to hospital, but thank God it was a milder non-toxic type. He loves his food, but I can totally understand when Parents get really distressed that their children won't eat. I think the key here is using the same technique we use in the Son-Rise Program for inspiring our children to learn anything, using their motivation.
Be a happy detective, what is your child interested in? Brainstorm ways to bring food into the playroom in a fun way, insist, even if they won't try it, bring it to the playroom and eat it yourself, show them how delicious they are. I ate several plates of salad for months in the playroom before my son would try it, nowadays he eats salad leaves with no dressing, on their own, as a snack, so is the power of persistence. Note however that persistence doesn't mean forcing your child to eat, it means insisting in showing them there's variety, there's plenty to choose from and food is fun.
here are some recipes from our Specific Carbohydrate diet that is suitable for a gluten/casein free diet too:
Meatballs (These are excellent for hiding vegetables)
500g organic lamb mince
500g organic beef mince
1 cup of cooked and mashed organic vegetables (I use butternut squash, aubergines, courgettes)
2 tbsp of chopped fresh herbs (I use rosemary, thyme and chives from my own garden
salt and pepper to taste
2 organic egg yolks
1 crushed clove of garlic
Mix all the ingredients into a pliable dough and roll into little balls, arrange them in a big oven dish, drizzle some olive oil over them and cook in a pre-heated oven at 180oC for 30 mins. When they cool down you can freeze them and warm them up from frozen at the same temperature for 15 mins so you always have some handy for those hungry times or as a travel snack.
Organic Salmon fishcakes
2 organic salmon fillets
a pinch of ground ginger
a pinch of dried dill
salt and pepper to taste
1 cup of organic mashed vegetables
2 tbsp of chopped fresh herbs
1 organic egg
1 cup of ground almonds (or the gluten free flour of your choice)
Sprinkle the ginger, dill, salt and pepper over the salmon steaks and steam them or boil them for 12-15 mins. Flake them with a fork or your hands in a bowl, discarding the skin, and mix with the other ingredients and more salt and pepper to taste. If the dough is too soft (it will depend on the type of vegetables and size of egg you use) add more flour or ground almonds until it is of a pliable consistency and shape it into little burger shapes. Shallow fry batches of up to 6 cakes in a bit of olive oil under medium heat until brown on both sides turning them over once. They are delicious served with salad.
Nut butter brownies
1 cup of nut butter of your choice (I use almond, cashew nut or hazelnut
1/2 cup of honey
1 egg
1/2 tsp of bicarbonate soda (For the GAPS version of the SCD you can leave it out it will just be less fluffy and a bit flatter but it doesn't alter the taste)
Mix all the ingredients and cook in a pre-heated oven at 180oC for 25-30 mins
I swear it tastes a bit like chocolate!
Whatever you cook, love your food and your child will be inspired by your love.
Enjoy your meal!
Initiating Something New!
FROM WILLIAM: Initiating something new.
For the rest of this week take up the Initiation Challenge. Each day look around your house for an object (prop) that you can bring into the playroom with your child. When your child gives you a substantial green light, and does not appear to be interested in another activity, initiate your object in a fun and compelling way.
For example:
prop = Big saucepan
Initiation ideas
= It can be a drum, spoons can be the drum sticks
= You can catch balls in it and then throw them all in the air
= If you have two big saucepans that can fit on your feet - turn them into shoes and have fun walking around!
= Make it into a puppet by decorating it - then it can be a fun character to play with
= Have fun guessing how many smaller objects can fit to it
Included in the stages of your child's social development is expanding their world beyond their curent interests and repetitious activities. This is a great way to do it. For those coming, this month, to our Advanced Training Program, New Frontiers, we will be going into this important part of facilating in much more detail.
Enjoy being fun and creative with objects around your house.
Love and smiles
William
For the rest of this week take up the Initiation Challenge. Each day look around your house for an object (prop) that you can bring into the playroom with your child. When your child gives you a substantial green light, and does not appear to be interested in another activity, initiate your object in a fun and compelling way.
For example:
prop = Big saucepan
Initiation ideas
= It can be a drum, spoons can be the drum sticks
= You can catch balls in it and then throw them all in the air
= If you have two big saucepans that can fit on your feet - turn them into shoes and have fun walking around!
= Make it into a puppet by decorating it - then it can be a fun character to play with
= Have fun guessing how many smaller objects can fit to it
Included in the stages of your child's social development is expanding their world beyond their curent interests and repetitious activities. This is a great way to do it. For those coming, this month, to our Advanced Training Program, New Frontiers, we will be going into this important part of facilating in much more detail.
Enjoy being fun and creative with objects around your house.
Love and smiles
William
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Conversations Take 8
FROM BECKY: Hi Beautiful People!
A short and sweet one for you.
Ok, I understand, you want the world for your child. There sometimes seems like so much to work on and not enough time. This will help you slow down and smell the roses. When working on conversational skills with your child, try sticking to one challenge at a time. For example, if you are working on conversational loops with your child, purely stick to extending the conversation.
If you are also asking them to look while talking, for example, and they are already challenging themselves by holding a conversation with you then it may be too much.
Have fun!
A short and sweet one for you.
Ok, I understand, you want the world for your child. There sometimes seems like so much to work on and not enough time. This will help you slow down and smell the roses. When working on conversational skills with your child, try sticking to one challenge at a time. For example, if you are working on conversational loops with your child, purely stick to extending the conversation.
If you are also asking them to look while talking, for example, and they are already challenging themselves by holding a conversation with you then it may be too much.
Have fun!
When a Child Talks a Lot!
FROM AMANDA: This week at the Autism Treatment Center of America, we have a six year old, high functioning child here for his Son-Rise Intensive Program. He is an amazing boy who loves to play with action figures, and often pretends he is a pirate, or a super hero saving the world. He is also a child who talks allot.
So if a child talks allot, how do you fit in your celebrations and explanations? I am going to share with you, the technique I felt was really effective for me. Listen, listen, listen, and then when he is done talking, celebrate or explain.
Yesterday in my session with this talkative child, we were playing a pirate game. It was an absolute blast. We were walking the plank on a ship, swimming in shark infested waters, and looking for gold. As we played, the child talked and gave me directions of exactly what he wanted me to do. As soon as he told me where to go and what to do, he would often go right into the next thing he had to say. I knew he was connected, because he would look at me every so often when he spoke to me. When he spoke, I knelt down so I was at or below his eye level and showed him I was listening intently to everything he had to say. I modeled this by shaking my head up and down, looking into his eyes, smiling, and being really animated. When he gave me a directive, I ran to do what he wanted me to do (e.g. walk the plank of our ship)to show the power of his words.
When this child was talking, I refrained from all verbal celebrations because I wanted to leave room for him to talk. So, to celebrate his eye contact, I smiled and pointed to my eyes and mouthed "I love that you are looking at me!" To celebrate him for talking, I waited until I had an open window to talk. For example, he had been role playing and talking for several minutes, and then stopped talking and walked up the slide. I took this opportunity to say "I am having so much fun with you. I love hearing all of your great ideas as we play." Sometimes, he interjected and began to talk again, so I immediately stopped my celebrations and listened to him talk.
There were also times in our session, when the child asked a question and when I would attempt to answer, he would move on to his next question before I fully answered. When there was a break in his talking, I used explanations to say "You asked me a question earlier and I would really love to answer it for you. Good friends listen to what the other has to say." after having said this, he often looked at me and listened intently to what I had to say.
Have fun listening!
Love,
Amanda
So if a child talks allot, how do you fit in your celebrations and explanations? I am going to share with you, the technique I felt was really effective for me. Listen, listen, listen, and then when he is done talking, celebrate or explain.
Yesterday in my session with this talkative child, we were playing a pirate game. It was an absolute blast. We were walking the plank on a ship, swimming in shark infested waters, and looking for gold. As we played, the child talked and gave me directions of exactly what he wanted me to do. As soon as he told me where to go and what to do, he would often go right into the next thing he had to say. I knew he was connected, because he would look at me every so often when he spoke to me. When he spoke, I knelt down so I was at or below his eye level and showed him I was listening intently to everything he had to say. I modeled this by shaking my head up and down, looking into his eyes, smiling, and being really animated. When he gave me a directive, I ran to do what he wanted me to do (e.g. walk the plank of our ship)to show the power of his words.
When this child was talking, I refrained from all verbal celebrations because I wanted to leave room for him to talk. So, to celebrate his eye contact, I smiled and pointed to my eyes and mouthed "I love that you are looking at me!" To celebrate him for talking, I waited until I had an open window to talk. For example, he had been role playing and talking for several minutes, and then stopped talking and walked up the slide. I took this opportunity to say "I am having so much fun with you. I love hearing all of your great ideas as we play." Sometimes, he interjected and began to talk again, so I immediately stopped my celebrations and listened to him talk.
There were also times in our session, when the child asked a question and when I would attempt to answer, he would move on to his next question before I fully answered. When there was a break in his talking, I used explanations to say "You asked me a question earlier and I would really love to answer it for you. Good friends listen to what the other has to say." after having said this, he often looked at me and listened intently to what I had to say.
Have fun listening!
Love,
Amanda
Monday, May 3, 2010
A New Game Idea - Helping Conversation Skills
FROM KATE: I hope you are all having a wonderful time with your children and creating joy in every moment together. For more creative inspiration, here is another game idea for you all. This game is designed to help children with basic and advanced conversations skills - as outlined in stages 3, 4 and 5 of the Son-Rise Program Developmental Model. Enjoy!
love, Kate
love, Kate
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