From kate Wilde: Hello Everyone!
Click on the video below for a little inspiration in keeping your energy levels up this Holiday season.
Looking forward to spending another year helping children on the Autism Spectrum and their families.
Much love to you all
Kate and Jack
Monday, December 28, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Creativity
From Kate Wilde:Here at The Autism Treatment Center of America we believe that creativity is all about attitude, when we enjoy what we are doing we are creative. To learn more about the attitude of creativity click on the video below, or if you are on face book click on the title of this blog, then on "view original blog", then on the video itself.
Sending much love and good wishes to you and your children this Holiday!
Kate
Sending much love and good wishes to you and your children this Holiday!
Kate
Monday, December 21, 2009
Deciding to Get ON
"One thing about trains ... it doesnt matter where they're going, what matters is deciding to get on." - The Polar Express. This sums up our journey with our special needs children. We dont know which way our children are going to go, but we hop on board and enjoy the ride - wherever the ride may take us. This is the very difference between the Son-Rise Program® and the other programs. Its taking the courage to ride the ride without being attached to the outcome. Even better - our children are the engineers! Deciding to GET ON is the best decision i ever made for helping my daughter, Tyler, reach her brightest star! Riding the ride with Tyler to the end!!!
Love, Jamie Rae
Love, Jamie Rae
The ancient art of juggling!!
From Alison: Are you crazy busy right now? Trying to run a Son Rise Program and a house and care for your children during the school holidays and prepare for the holiday festivities and to cap it all now dig yourself out of the snow?
I love this time of the year - almost everyone seems to catch on to the idea of the 3E's and life takes on a magical quality as we await the BIG day with anticipation. But for the people who provide all the finance, presents and food etc it can feel very stressful and in the past I have felt stressed by what I felt was my duty to make everyone happy. After all there is so much to remember, getting the right people to the right places with the right stuff for that all important performance or party. It can feel like juggling 20 balls at once with a very grave danger that they could all end up on the floor.
I love this time of the year - almost everyone seems to catch on to the idea of the 3E's and life takes on a magical quality as we await the BIG day with anticipation. But for the people who provide all the finance, presents and food etc it can feel very stressful and in the past I have felt stressed by what I felt was my duty to make everyone happy. After all there is so much to remember, getting the right people to the right places with the right stuff for that all important performance or party. It can feel like juggling 20 balls at once with a very grave danger that they could all end up on the floor.
So how have I done things differently this year? Well in the past I have decorated every room in my house except the playroom with christmas lights, paper chains and tinsel, it took weeks to put it all up and bit by bit Jordan pulled it all down again (including the tree), I did this because I love the sparkle of christmas lights and tinsel , but I was so busy doing it all that I didn't notice that Jordan found it too much. My change in approach came from me sitting down with myself and deciding what I thought was really important - what did I want this year. I realised thanks to the programs that I have been on this year at The Option Institute, that if I was stressed then I was doing that to myself, that if I was overworked then it was because I had decided that I wanted to carry on till I could carry on no longer - I owned my actions and my feelings. So this year, I have slashed my workload, with only one tree, less food, and the knowledge that I can't make other people happy they have to do that for themselves. One thing that I knew I did want was to actually have time to play more over the holidays to not be so wrapped up in the task of christmas that I missed the opportunity to develop relationships with the people around me. I am making that my priority this year. So far I am not stressed and am loving the fun of making a snow dude in our garden and continuing with the Son Rise program with a christmas theme.
I hope that you have a wonderful holiday and that you enjoy whichever festival it is that you celebrate with the people that you love and that you have a blessed and peaceful 2010
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Giant Animal Blocks
From Kate Wilde: Giant Animal blocks, a fun prop idea from our talented Son-Rise Program Child facilitator Kim Korpady.
Click on the video below, (or if you are on face book click on the title of this blog, then on , "View Original Blog" then on the video itself), to see how you could use these giant animal blocks in your Son-Rise Program playroom with you children on The Autism Spectrum.
Have fun being silly with these blocks.
Love to you all
Kate
Click on the video below, (or if you are on face book click on the title of this blog, then on , "View Original Blog" then on the video itself), to see how you could use these giant animal blocks in your Son-Rise Program playroom with you children on The Autism Spectrum.
Have fun being silly with these blocks.
Love to you all
Kate
From Jack: On Anger and Powerlessness...
From Jack: Hullo friends!
So I'm writing this from JFK airport, where I have been stranded for 12 hours due to heavy snows, and am due to be here for another 12 hours before a replacement flight back to the UK can be scheduled... this entails trying to sleep on the hard, cold floor (all the hotels were booked by the time they cancelled my flight), not having anything to wash with for over 24 hours (!!!) and missing a big family party back in England that I was excited to attend.
Now, this has got me thinking about when things happen that are outside our control. I noticed that when our flight was first delayed, then cancelled, many people reacted by getting angry. Some just looked grumpy and muttered to each other, others shouted at the airline staff. I even noticed myself getting a little frustrated - this wasn't turning out to be the smooth travel experience I wanted!
And then I thought a little about anger. So often, we get angry because things are happening that we cannot control. We feel powerless and so shouting at someone is a way for us to feel more powerful. But my question is - does it really work? I know that whether I get angry or not, my plane won't magically be able to take off. So why get myself upset and angry about it? Why not enjoy the situation that the universe has given me? Why not see this sense of powerlessness as a challenge to step-up and find something to love in any circumstance? If we can't change the situation, why not at least give ourselves the best experience waiting it out?
Have a wonderful, deeply loving holiday season
Much love and warmth
Jack
So I'm writing this from JFK airport, where I have been stranded for 12 hours due to heavy snows, and am due to be here for another 12 hours before a replacement flight back to the UK can be scheduled... this entails trying to sleep on the hard, cold floor (all the hotels were booked by the time they cancelled my flight), not having anything to wash with for over 24 hours (!!!) and missing a big family party back in England that I was excited to attend.
Now, this has got me thinking about when things happen that are outside our control. I noticed that when our flight was first delayed, then cancelled, many people reacted by getting angry. Some just looked grumpy and muttered to each other, others shouted at the airline staff. I even noticed myself getting a little frustrated - this wasn't turning out to be the smooth travel experience I wanted!
And then I thought a little about anger. So often, we get angry because things are happening that we cannot control. We feel powerless and so shouting at someone is a way for us to feel more powerful. But my question is - does it really work? I know that whether I get angry or not, my plane won't magically be able to take off. So why get myself upset and angry about it? Why not enjoy the situation that the universe has given me? Why not see this sense of powerlessness as a challenge to step-up and find something to love in any circumstance? If we can't change the situation, why not at least give ourselves the best experience waiting it out?
Have a wonderful, deeply loving holiday season
Much love and warmth
Jack
Friday, December 18, 2009
From Becky: Diet Tips take 3
More Ideas to spice up a gluten/casein and sugar free diet:
Mustard
Mustard is great because it's the only condiment I have found that doesn't contain sugar and sugar products, wheat or dairy.
You can find all kinds of different mustard's at the grocery store. Always check the labels because some do contain sugar.
I use spicy brown mustard as a dipping sauce. This is great if your child is used to eating lots of sugary condiments such as ketchup, steak or barbecue sauce. It makes for a sweet and interesting substitute.
I Make my own salad dressing out of mustard, olive oil, vinegar and garlic. I keep whole garlic cloves in the bottle so they don't fall out when pouring and just keep topping up the other ingredients to taste.
You can also use mustard as part of a marinade or when cooking to thicken meat or vegetable juices.
Yeah for mustard!
Mustard
Mustard is great because it's the only condiment I have found that doesn't contain sugar and sugar products, wheat or dairy.
You can find all kinds of different mustard's at the grocery store. Always check the labels because some do contain sugar.
I use spicy brown mustard as a dipping sauce. This is great if your child is used to eating lots of sugary condiments such as ketchup, steak or barbecue sauce. It makes for a sweet and interesting substitute.
I Make my own salad dressing out of mustard, olive oil, vinegar and garlic. I keep whole garlic cloves in the bottle so they don't fall out when pouring and just keep topping up the other ingredients to taste.
You can also use mustard as part of a marinade or when cooking to thicken meat or vegetable juices.
Yeah for mustard!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
From Becky, more ideas for GF/CF Sugar Free Diet
At The Autisn Treatment Center of America, we work with many children on specific diets. Here are some more ideas to keep cooking interesting for you and your kids.
Some food ideas that I use as my "Saving Grace" when following a gluten, casein and sugar free diet.
Coconut products.
Coconut oil - It's sweet, creamy and delicious and can be used in marinades for meat and vegetables, to saute with or in cakes or breads.
Coconut milk - when cooking rice, substitute half or all the water with coconut milk to make for a delicious variation on plain rice.
Unsweetened coconut flakes or shredded coconut. I use the shredded kind as a subtitute for grated cheese, fantastic sprinkled on top of meat sauce.
If your child likes breadcrumb procucts, such as chicken nuggets, dip the chicken pieces in egg first, then almond or soy flour, and finally shredded coconut before baking or shallow frying. You can also use it to coat fish.
Enjoy
Some food ideas that I use as my "Saving Grace" when following a gluten, casein and sugar free diet.
Coconut products.
Coconut oil - It's sweet, creamy and delicious and can be used in marinades for meat and vegetables, to saute with or in cakes or breads.
Coconut milk - when cooking rice, substitute half or all the water with coconut milk to make for a delicious variation on plain rice.
Unsweetened coconut flakes or shredded coconut. I use the shredded kind as a subtitute for grated cheese, fantastic sprinkled on top of meat sauce.
If your child likes breadcrumb procucts, such as chicken nuggets, dip the chicken pieces in egg first, then almond or soy flour, and finally shredded coconut before baking or shallow frying. You can also use it to coat fish.
Enjoy
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Revelling in the Little Things
From Kelli Pallett: Hi all, I never thought when Jordyn was born that he would teach me so much - about myself, about love, about being grateful, patient, and accepting.
I woke up this morning as my 6 yr old son climbed into bed, and layed right on top of me, grabbed my face, smiled, and said "tickle tickle". We then spent a good 20-30 minutes laying there, tickling, kissing, gazing in each others eyes. And I was so grateful and full of love. There was no where else to be, and nothing else to do than be in those moments with him. Doesn't sound like such a big deal until you know that this little guy was so in his own world when he was 2.5 that he hardly acknowledged us.
It got me thinking of all the little things that I've learned from this little guy.
To name just a few:
- being grateful for our profound connection vs. taking it for granted;
- for slowing life down and teaching me to revel in each and every achievement that we have together - smelling the roses that we have rather than seeing and dwelling on what could be perceived as missing;
- for teaching me to really love and accept myself for who I am, and others for who they are - that we are all doing the best we can with the beliefs that we have
- for challenging me to grow beyond my own limits and boundaries and question what I thought were my limits.
I could go on in detail, with a few of the specifics like Jordyn saying "orange" this morning as he picked up an orange marker and handed it to me (something new), or putting his plate from breakfast back on the counter without being asked, or expressing his wants with passion and persistence, or me sharing myself in this blog, ... all the little miracles add up.
It is opening our hearts to the many little things that make the biggest difference on this journey. I'd love to hear what you are grateful for.
With love and gratitude -
Kelli
What's my body saying?
From Kate Wilde: Another game from the Autism Treatment Center of America!
This game is called, "What's my body saying?" and is designed to help our children on the Autism Spectrum read social cues. To understand not only what we are saying with our verbal comminucation, but what our gestures, facile expressions and internation are communicating.
There are two versions of this game, one about simple gestures and facial expressions, and one to help with more complex social cues, such as sarcasm.
Just click on the video below, or if you are on face book right now, click on the title of this post then on "view original post" then on the video itself.
enjoy!
With love to you all
Kate
This game is called, "What's my body saying?" and is designed to help our children on the Autism Spectrum read social cues. To understand not only what we are saying with our verbal comminucation, but what our gestures, facile expressions and internation are communicating.
There are two versions of this game, one about simple gestures and facial expressions, and one to help with more complex social cues, such as sarcasm.
Just click on the video below, or if you are on face book right now, click on the title of this post then on "view original post" then on the video itself.
enjoy!
With love to you all
Kate
Monday, December 14, 2009
Love
From Kate Wilde: Today, as we do every Monday, the Son-Rise Program Intensive staff got together and did a guided visualization. The subject of our visualization is the Frederick family. They are here this week attending the Son-Rise Program Intensive with their five year old son with Autism.
We have yet to met them, but even before we do we have sat down held hands and opened our hearts to them. Setting our intention to offer them our love and acceptance first, and our knowledge second. Knowing that this is the most important thing we can do. That it is our love that will be the most powerful in helping facilitate any changes that they are wanting for themselves and their son.
As we hold hands together and send them this love, we grow stronger as a team, united by the clarity of a single vision, that no matter the situation, love is the answer.
Another week of joining, challenging, theme making, feedback, dialogs, and answering questions lies before us.
What lies before you and what will be your underlying intention as you spring into action?
Much love to you
Kate
We have yet to met them, but even before we do we have sat down held hands and opened our hearts to them. Setting our intention to offer them our love and acceptance first, and our knowledge second. Knowing that this is the most important thing we can do. That it is our love that will be the most powerful in helping facilitate any changes that they are wanting for themselves and their son.
As we hold hands together and send them this love, we grow stronger as a team, united by the clarity of a single vision, that no matter the situation, love is the answer.
Another week of joining, challenging, theme making, feedback, dialogs, and answering questions lies before us.
What lies before you and what will be your underlying intention as you spring into action?
Much love to you
Kate
Friday, December 11, 2009
Son-Rise Program Start Up
From Kate Wilde: It is Friday and we have just finished our Son-Rise Start Up Program here on property at The Autism Treatment Center of America.
We had 61 parents and professionals attend from America, Australia, Sweden, Brazil, England, Canada and South Africa. All united by one thing, having someone they love on the Autistic spectrum.
It was so inspiring to hear their stories, learn about their children and to see their transformation as they took in the attitudinal perspectives and the concrete techniques that the Son-Rise Program has to offer. The youngest child represented was one years old, the oldest were 23 year old twins.
Parents came in on Monday morning, feeling scared for their child's future, lost as to how to help them and judgmental of themselves for not "being good enough" for their children. It is Friday and in the last class there was much relaxed laughter in the room. This came from the knowledge that they are not alone in this journey with their children, they now have 60 other supporters and friends in their life who are on the same journey, and the road map for their children, which is the Son-Rise Program with its developmental model and attitudinal perspectives.
They left with the confidence that they can help their children, and an action plan on how to do so.
I send thanks and great love and good thoughts to everyone I met durin the 2009 December Son-Rise Program Start Up.
With much love
Kate
We had 61 parents and professionals attend from America, Australia, Sweden, Brazil, England, Canada and South Africa. All united by one thing, having someone they love on the Autistic spectrum.
It was so inspiring to hear their stories, learn about their children and to see their transformation as they took in the attitudinal perspectives and the concrete techniques that the Son-Rise Program has to offer. The youngest child represented was one years old, the oldest were 23 year old twins.
Parents came in on Monday morning, feeling scared for their child's future, lost as to how to help them and judgmental of themselves for not "being good enough" for their children. It is Friday and in the last class there was much relaxed laughter in the room. This came from the knowledge that they are not alone in this journey with their children, they now have 60 other supporters and friends in their life who are on the same journey, and the road map for their children, which is the Son-Rise Program with its developmental model and attitudinal perspectives.
They left with the confidence that they can help their children, and an action plan on how to do so.
I send thanks and great love and good thoughts to everyone I met durin the 2009 December Son-Rise Program Start Up.
With much love
Kate
From Becky: Gluten, Casein and Sugar Free Treats!
From Becky: Is your child, or your family on a Gluten, Casein and Sugar free diet?, if so, here are some yummy treats that you can make if you or your child have a sweet tooth.
Orange Pudding
1 cup of pureed cooked carrots
1 cup of pureed cooked pears
1 tablespoon of nut butter (almond or cashew)
Blend together and enjoy
Green Pudding
1 ripe avocado
1 ripe banana
1 tablespoon nut butter (almond or cashew)
1 teaspoon of honey (optional)
Blend together and enjoy
Delicious!
Orange Pudding
1 cup of pureed cooked carrots
1 cup of pureed cooked pears
1 tablespoon of nut butter (almond or cashew)
Blend together and enjoy
Green Pudding
1 ripe avocado
1 ripe banana
1 tablespoon nut butter (almond or cashew)
1 teaspoon of honey (optional)
Blend together and enjoy
Delicious!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
From Jack: Best Friends JOIN!!
From Jack: Hullo friends!
I want to share with you a beautiful story from an outreach I did with the cutest little boy this weekend. We played together, we giggled together, we smiled together but predominantly we ISMED together. In my morning session, this adorable little guy was exclusive for nearly 2 hours and 20 minutes out of our 2 and a half hour session. I just totally enjoyed getting to know him in this deep beautiful way - expressing my love and acceptance of him by joining in his exclusive behaviors and showing him how easy and controllable I was.
We then took a break for lunch and, while I was eating, my new friend was constantly pulling on my sleeve, begging me to come back upstairs to play with him some more!
You know what I love about this? I really hadn't spent much time actually playing. But I really believe that the love and acceptance of my joining, the knowledge that he could just be himself, inspired this little boy to think of me as a wonderful friend and to beg me to spend more time with him. How beautiful is that?
When we are joining our special children, we are helping them in the most profound way. We are showing them that we are the sorts of friends who would learn to love anything and everything they love, do whatever they want to do, go to the ends of the earth to be like them and show them how perfect they are.
Now, who doesn't want a friend like that?
Huge love
Jack
I want to share with you a beautiful story from an outreach I did with the cutest little boy this weekend. We played together, we giggled together, we smiled together but predominantly we ISMED together. In my morning session, this adorable little guy was exclusive for nearly 2 hours and 20 minutes out of our 2 and a half hour session. I just totally enjoyed getting to know him in this deep beautiful way - expressing my love and acceptance of him by joining in his exclusive behaviors and showing him how easy and controllable I was.
We then took a break for lunch and, while I was eating, my new friend was constantly pulling on my sleeve, begging me to come back upstairs to play with him some more!
You know what I love about this? I really hadn't spent much time actually playing. But I really believe that the love and acceptance of my joining, the knowledge that he could just be himself, inspired this little boy to think of me as a wonderful friend and to beg me to spend more time with him. How beautiful is that?
When we are joining our special children, we are helping them in the most profound way. We are showing them that we are the sorts of friends who would learn to love anything and everything they love, do whatever they want to do, go to the ends of the earth to be like them and show them how perfect they are.
Now, who doesn't want a friend like that?
Huge love
Jack
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
From Kate Wilde: Making a difference
From Kate Wilde: Hi everyone, I was inspired by Kelli's blog to write this blog. First of all thank you Kelli for writing your blog, I do not think we can ever estimate the far reaching effects of what we do. You have made a difference by writing this blog, everything we do makes a difference in the world.
You can easily see that your blog has inspired me to write this blog, that is concrete as I am telling you this, but there are also many many other thing it has inspired that you will never know. Maybe the President will see it and decide to fund The Son-Rise Program for all parents who wish to use it with their autistic children in the USA. Maybe you have helped a person in Africa have the courage to ask for help with their child. Maybe someone has read it and it has sparked some hope of the possibility that they could change themselves and do what is difficult for them.
I believe that each of our acts have 1000's of consequences, the only question is when and how do we want to act. Do we want to hold out our hands and offer help, or judge another or ourselves as wrong?
You offered your hand out to help, and only great things can come from that.
Love to you all
Kate
You can easily see that your blog has inspired me to write this blog, that is concrete as I am telling you this, but there are also many many other thing it has inspired that you will never know. Maybe the President will see it and decide to fund The Son-Rise Program for all parents who wish to use it with their autistic children in the USA. Maybe you have helped a person in Africa have the courage to ask for help with their child. Maybe someone has read it and it has sparked some hope of the possibility that they could change themselves and do what is difficult for them.
I believe that each of our acts have 1000's of consequences, the only question is when and how do we want to act. Do we want to hold out our hands and offer help, or judge another or ourselves as wrong?
You offered your hand out to help, and only great things can come from that.
Love to you all
Kate
From Kelli Pallett: Anchoring New Beliefs
From Kelli Pallett: It was just a few weeks ago that we attended Son-Rise Wide Awake, and boy what a week. I left "wide awake" to, and ready to take on, all the areas of my life where I wasn't joyfully happy, fully at ease, and being a force of nature. I left that Friday feeling completely at peace, being powerful and unshakeable in what I'm committed to. I declared that I would blog on the Autism Treatment of America (TM) site as an action to keep those feelings alive and myself tapped into them. So here is my first blog.
I thought, that'll be great, I'll just share what is happening in our program, what I'm feeling, and what I'm creating... easy peasy and I get to fulfill on making a difference along the way. Well, somewhere between my declaration, getting set up on the blog, and the ensuing life that happened my identity kicked in. Rather than the freedom I felt to just share whatever my thoughts were in Wide Awake, I started to think what is the "right" thing to share, and what might people think. I began to get concerned for would my blog make as big a difference as Kate's or Jack's or Becky's. These are all VERY familiar thoughts... and definitely not the peace, power, and unshakeableness I'd been feeling.
Luckily, I had created THIS very action, this promise to contribute, and I thought "ah ha" this is the VERY thing to share. It's SO perfect... and it is what I'm thinking, feeling, and creating. I'm creating this opportunity to blog as an unabashed expression of my love for the Son-Rise Program® and the Option Process®, and a place where I can celebrate my triumphs over my disempowering beliefs, and make a difference... how perfect. I'm peaceful, powerful, and unshakeable!
What actions are you taking to anchor the new beliefs that you have adopted?
From Becky: This Dog is an Inspiration!
From Becky: Working at The Autism Treatment Center of America, I see examples again and again of our special children doing things that their families have been told they will never do (e.g. saying their first word at 9 years old, saying "Mommy I love you!", doing imagination play, or taking a first step).
Because I believe anything is possible, I am continually being sent emails and videos by people who have like-minded attitudes and want to share their stories of persistence and hope.
Check out this video about a dog and its owner's experience doing just that.
Because I believe anything is possible, I am continually being sent emails and videos by people who have like-minded attitudes and want to share their stories of persistence and hope.
Check out this video about a dog and its owner's experience doing just that.
Monday, December 7, 2009
From Kate Wilde: Conversations
From Kate Wilde: The other day a friend of mine celebrated me for being a good conversationalist, which would make sense as I have spent the last 17 years here at The Autism Treatment Center of America helping lots of children and adults on the autism spectrum understand how to have conversations. We are always analysing conversations and discussing how we can make this process easier for our Autistic children.
Highly verbal children on the Autism Spectrum , may be able to easily ask for what they want using complex sentences, answer questions and ask questions, but what they are not efficient in is the art of social conversations, which can result in their peers not wanting to hang out with them.
As adults we may start a conversation with a question, and ask some during our conversation, but a lot of other things happen to make it an interesting conversation. We share our stories from our past, our hopes for the future. we comment on another persons story, we share a related story. we share our opinion about what another person has just said. When we only ask questions we are not fully having a conversation, we are just information gathering, conversation is a little more.
Things you can do right now to help your children become better at social conversations would be to:
1. Decrease the amount of questions you ask your child.
2. Increase sharing your own experiences and stories of things that have happened to you during your day and your life time with your child.
3. Leave pauses during your stories for your child to ask for more information, and share their own opinion of what you are sharing with them.
4.Share your own opinion about things, what are your favorite things, which movies do your like, where do you want to travel to and why. Then pause again and see if your child responds to your sharing.
Have fun being a conversationalist with your child!
Much Love to you all
Kate
Highly verbal children on the Autism Spectrum , may be able to easily ask for what they want using complex sentences, answer questions and ask questions, but what they are not efficient in is the art of social conversations, which can result in their peers not wanting to hang out with them.
As adults we may start a conversation with a question, and ask some during our conversation, but a lot of other things happen to make it an interesting conversation. We share our stories from our past, our hopes for the future. we comment on another persons story, we share a related story. we share our opinion about what another person has just said. When we only ask questions we are not fully having a conversation, we are just information gathering, conversation is a little more.
Things you can do right now to help your children become better at social conversations would be to:
1. Decrease the amount of questions you ask your child.
2. Increase sharing your own experiences and stories of things that have happened to you during your day and your life time with your child.
3. Leave pauses during your stories for your child to ask for more information, and share their own opinion of what you are sharing with them.
4.Share your own opinion about things, what are your favorite things, which movies do your like, where do you want to travel to and why. Then pause again and see if your child responds to your sharing.
Have fun being a conversationalist with your child!
Much Love to you all
Kate
Sunday, December 6, 2009
From Alison: Loving the joining
From Alison: One of the key parts of any Son Rise program playroom session is the Joining of our child's exclusive or repetitious behaviour, here's how that looks in my sessions with my son Jordan.
So I am in the playroom and we have just played a game, now Jordan wants some alone time. He starts to walk in circles around the edge of the room muttering to himself under his breath so quietly that I can hear that he is speaking, but can't hear what he is saying. I walk with him on the opposite side of the room and mutter softly to myself too. Jordan interrupts his monologue with "Mummy will be quiet" as I am distracting him with my mumblings. So now I walk as gently and quietly as I can so as not to disturb him and I stop speaking. But I still want to join him as closely as I can, but not audibly, as I want to demonstrate my love for him and my acceptance of his choice of activity. So, in my head, I continue my own discussion.
It is at this point that I like to focus on what I want for myself and Jordan. In my head I am saying over and over 'I love you and I want to play with you, I love you and I want to play with you'. Then I use a visualisation to put that idea out into the room, so with every breath that I exhale I imagine that I am blowing up a huge balloon that fills the playroom with love and playfulness. Or with every breath I imagine blowing out a little playful butterfly that will fly around the room and fill it with love, laughter and playfulness. Another one that I like is, if I feel my level of 3 E's dropping is to imagine blowing out some little clowns who will bounce around the room doing some fun slapstick antics.
I make up that these visualisations have an effect on the amount of interaction between us. They definately help me focus on my love for Jordan and how much I want him to connect with me. How does joining look in your playroom?
So I am in the playroom and we have just played a game, now Jordan wants some alone time. He starts to walk in circles around the edge of the room muttering to himself under his breath so quietly that I can hear that he is speaking, but can't hear what he is saying. I walk with him on the opposite side of the room and mutter softly to myself too. Jordan interrupts his monologue with "Mummy will be quiet" as I am distracting him with my mumblings. So now I walk as gently and quietly as I can so as not to disturb him and I stop speaking. But I still want to join him as closely as I can, but not audibly, as I want to demonstrate my love for him and my acceptance of his choice of activity. So, in my head, I continue my own discussion.
It is at this point that I like to focus on what I want for myself and Jordan. In my head I am saying over and over 'I love you and I want to play with you, I love you and I want to play with you'. Then I use a visualisation to put that idea out into the room, so with every breath that I exhale I imagine that I am blowing up a huge balloon that fills the playroom with love and playfulness. Or with every breath I imagine blowing out a little playful butterfly that will fly around the room and fill it with love, laughter and playfulness. Another one that I like is, if I feel my level of 3 E's dropping is to imagine blowing out some little clowns who will bounce around the room doing some fun slapstick antics.
I make up that these visualisations have an effect on the amount of interaction between us. They definately help me focus on my love for Jordan and how much I want him to connect with me. How does joining look in your playroom?
Friday, December 4, 2009
From Becky: Prime of My Life!
From Becky: Today it is my 35th birthday! Recently I was having a conversation with one of my close friends about how my birthday was coming up and it wasn't a big deal. My friend said "Don't you ever say that it's not a big deal! Your birthday is the day you were born and that's a very BIG DEAL!!!"
From that moment, I realized that by saying that I was playing myself down and making myself small and irrelevant which is how I lived most of my life up until coming the work at The Autism Treatment Center of America. I changed my attitude in an instant.
So today I am going to celebrate celebrate celebrate! It is really something that I am here, I am alive and I was born!
It matters that I choose happiness everyday when so many people around me are choosing anger, hate and discomfort.
It is a big deal that I have helped so many families reach their special children over the years and that I have inspired children to stretch and grow in unimaginable ways.
It is important that I have challenged so many beliefs, and changed the ones that weren't working for me anymore, even when I thought for sure that I wasn't able to.
And most of all, I am extremely grateful to myself for being my own biggest teacher.
I am in the prime of my life! Some may think that being in your twenties is being in the prime of your life. As I turn 35 today, I am living my life in a bigger way than I ever have.
When I was thirty, I began my journey at The Autism Treatment Center of America, and began an incredible adventure, an adventure of love, acceptance and hope. Why would I want to be younger when I have so much more today?
I encourage you all to celebrate yourselves for being born today! You matter and you are a big deal!
From that moment, I realized that by saying that I was playing myself down and making myself small and irrelevant which is how I lived most of my life up until coming the work at The Autism Treatment Center of America. I changed my attitude in an instant.
So today I am going to celebrate celebrate celebrate! It is really something that I am here, I am alive and I was born!
It matters that I choose happiness everyday when so many people around me are choosing anger, hate and discomfort.
It is a big deal that I have helped so many families reach their special children over the years and that I have inspired children to stretch and grow in unimaginable ways.
It is important that I have challenged so many beliefs, and changed the ones that weren't working for me anymore, even when I thought for sure that I wasn't able to.
And most of all, I am extremely grateful to myself for being my own biggest teacher.
I am in the prime of my life! Some may think that being in your twenties is being in the prime of your life. As I turn 35 today, I am living my life in a bigger way than I ever have.
When I was thirty, I began my journey at The Autism Treatment Center of America, and began an incredible adventure, an adventure of love, acceptance and hope. Why would I want to be younger when I have so much more today?
I encourage you all to celebrate yourselves for being born today! You matter and you are a big deal!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
From Kate Wilde: Memory
From Kate Wilde: Today Bryn Hogan and I were having dinner with some wonderful people. A part from being Son-Rise Program teachers together, and working along side each other at The Autism Treatment Center of America, we have also been best friends for the last 17 years.
At dinner, Bryn was telling the story of her wedding to William Hogan, (also a Son-Rise Program teacher ), as she was relaying this story she mentioned something that she and I had done at her wedding.
The interesting thing about this is that not only did I not attend their wedding, I did not even know them then. Because we have been friends so long she actually "photo shopped" me into her memory of her wedding. So for her I actually attended.
What this means is that our past does not exist, just what we make up about it. As Bryn did, you can change your past to be anything you want it to be. We are actually in charge of how we remember our past.
So it raises the question what do you want the memory of yourself to be?
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
From Kate Wilde and Bryn Hogan: Letting Go
From Kate Wilde and Bryn Hogan:
On our ride to the airport this morning we were discussing the topic of 'letting go'. We were reflecting on all the parents we work with using The Son-Rise Program who want so much for their children and their families. They want with passion and a deep desire to make a difference.
At the same time, there is sometimes a struggle between these strong wants and the 'need' for our children to change, to grow in the ways and at the speed we want them to. We have found ourselves, in relation to Jade and Malik(Bryn and William Hogans children) becoming attached to the outcome, wanting them to gain a skill, learn a lesson or grow in what we see as an important direction.
Yet, we came back to, as we have so many times before to the knowledge that we have to always balance our wants with a strong ability to 'let go'. To not push. To not 'need' them to perform to our standards.
But to allow them to blossom, to fall down, to go slowly, to not learn, to even resist...and to love them as they do so. (Sometimes we even resist their resistance - how useful is that?). So, we're left, as with everything in the Son-Rise Program, with love.
To any question, in any situation, love is always the answer. When we 'let go', love is all that's left.
Love to all
Kate and Bryn
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
From Becky: Being Present!
From Becky: Recently I flew to Houston, TX to work with a beautiful Mother and her son for the weekend using The Son-Rise Program.
One of the principles of The Son-Rise Program is to be present when we are working with our children in the playroom so that we are comfortable and super aware of how to help them. Being present is something I have practised over the years but I do not always choose it outside of the playroom.
One area where I don't typically choose to be present is when I am travelling. On this flight to Houston, I had a long journey ahead of me, getting up at 3am to get on a flight and then a connecting flight to my destination.
Usually when I'm flying, there comes a point that I start living in the past or the future (e.g. "I wish I had got a window seat", "I hope we get there soon", etc).
As I sat on my 3 hour flight from Washington Dulles to Houston, there was nothing but the present moment. I decided to focus on the here and now and embrace each moment that came. I sat for three hours, allowing nothing else to come into my mind about what was going to happen next, or what had already happened.
Our children are so present, they find joy in the simplest things (e.g. shaking a drumstick, eating, pacing back and fourth, etc). There is nowhere for them to be, nothing else for them to do.
As I sat being present for that extended period of time, I came to a place of complete peace and as a result of that I had a great experience, instead of an "OK" one.
One of the principles of The Son-Rise Program is to be present when we are working with our children in the playroom so that we are comfortable and super aware of how to help them. Being present is something I have practised over the years but I do not always choose it outside of the playroom.
One area where I don't typically choose to be present is when I am travelling. On this flight to Houston, I had a long journey ahead of me, getting up at 3am to get on a flight and then a connecting flight to my destination.
Usually when I'm flying, there comes a point that I start living in the past or the future (e.g. "I wish I had got a window seat", "I hope we get there soon", etc).
As I sat on my 3 hour flight from Washington Dulles to Houston, there was nothing but the present moment. I decided to focus on the here and now and embrace each moment that came. I sat for three hours, allowing nothing else to come into my mind about what was going to happen next, or what had already happened.
Our children are so present, they find joy in the simplest things (e.g. shaking a drumstick, eating, pacing back and fourth, etc). There is nowhere for them to be, nothing else for them to do.
As I sat being present for that extended period of time, I came to a place of complete peace and as a result of that I had a great experience, instead of an "OK" one.
From Kate Wilde: There is more you can do.
From Kate Wilde:
Yesterday I answered the phone in our book store, it was a Mom of a 10 year old autistic boy. She was calling because a couple of weeks ago her school had called her up to tell her that they wanted her 10 year old son to go on psychotic drugs. Why? Because they did not know how to handle his sometimes "aggressive behaviour".
So their solution was to drug him, to sedate him so that he does no "bother" them anymore. No concern for this boy's quality of life or the side effects of giving a young child such powerful drugs.
Here at The Autism Treatment Center of America when a child is kicking, pushing, hitting biting etc, we ask ourselves the following questions:
Why are they doing this?
What are they trying to tell us?
What can we do to change OUR behaviour to help this child change theirs?
Once we understand why our children are doing this then we apply a whole host of easy effective techniques to help them choose a different way of communicating.
If your child is being aggressive click on the link below which will take to you a blog about the common reasons why a child might be aggressive.
http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/blog/2009/10/intense-energy.php
Then click on this other link that will take you to a webinar on how the Son-Rise Program helps children who have challenging behaviour.
http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/media:video,22,0
If your school system or the care home is telling you that your child has to go on drugs because of his aggressive behaviour, think again, there is another way to help your child, it is called The Son-Rise Program.
We want to help you and your child.
With love
Kate
Yesterday I answered the phone in our book store, it was a Mom of a 10 year old autistic boy. She was calling because a couple of weeks ago her school had called her up to tell her that they wanted her 10 year old son to go on psychotic drugs. Why? Because they did not know how to handle his sometimes "aggressive behaviour".
So their solution was to drug him, to sedate him so that he does no "bother" them anymore. No concern for this boy's quality of life or the side effects of giving a young child such powerful drugs.
Here at The Autism Treatment Center of America when a child is kicking, pushing, hitting biting etc, we ask ourselves the following questions:
Why are they doing this?
What are they trying to tell us?
What can we do to change OUR behaviour to help this child change theirs?
Once we understand why our children are doing this then we apply a whole host of easy effective techniques to help them choose a different way of communicating.
If your child is being aggressive click on the link below which will take to you a blog about the common reasons why a child might be aggressive.
http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/blog/2009/10/intense-energy.php
Then click on this other link that will take you to a webinar on how the Son-Rise Program helps children who have challenging behaviour.
http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/media:video,22,0
If your school system or the care home is telling you that your child has to go on drugs because of his aggressive behaviour, think again, there is another way to help your child, it is called The Son-Rise Program.
We want to help you and your child.
With love
Kate
Monday, November 30, 2009
From Kate Wilde: Learning New Things
From Kate Wilde: Hi everyone! Today I have the added pleasure of doing another person's computer job, as well as the lovely teaching and playing with children on the Autism Spectrum that I normally do here at The Autism Treatment Center of America.
I spent the best part of yesterday ever so slowly following a step by step guide on how to print out labels from the web site of us mail. How to create invoices, and use the new credit card machine. The beautiful thing about this job is it results in many people from all over the world getting great inspiring and powerful information on how to help their child using The Son-Rise Program!!
The other was an insight on how much time it took me to complete the task. I do not mean this to be a slight on myself - it was so great to see, it took me 3 hours just to do 4 orders - don't be alarmed all those people out there, I will get faster and you will all get your books, tapes and DVDs - I promise!
I already can read, use a computer write, type etc, but still, putting all these skills together to produce a perfect computerized label was slow going the first time. So it stands to reason that it takes a while for our children on the spectrum to do what we are asking them.
So a question for you is, are you pausing after you ask your children to look at you, or after you ask them a question, or ask them to draw or write or blow out birthday candles?
Sometimes all our children need is the time to do the thing we are asking them to do.
I certainly need time to learn my new thing.
So if you normally just wait 2 seconds, wait another 30 seconds, or even more.
Let's give our children time and space to do what is difficult for them.
Have fun everyone
Love to you
Kate
I spent the best part of yesterday ever so slowly following a step by step guide on how to print out labels from the web site of us mail. How to create invoices, and use the new credit card machine. The beautiful thing about this job is it results in many people from all over the world getting great inspiring and powerful information on how to help their child using The Son-Rise Program!!
The other was an insight on how much time it took me to complete the task. I do not mean this to be a slight on myself - it was so great to see, it took me 3 hours just to do 4 orders - don't be alarmed all those people out there, I will get faster and you will all get your books, tapes and DVDs - I promise!
I already can read, use a computer write, type etc, but still, putting all these skills together to produce a perfect computerized label was slow going the first time. So it stands to reason that it takes a while for our children on the spectrum to do what we are asking them.
So a question for you is, are you pausing after you ask your children to look at you, or after you ask them a question, or ask them to draw or write or blow out birthday candles?
Sometimes all our children need is the time to do the thing we are asking them to do.
I certainly need time to learn my new thing.
So if you normally just wait 2 seconds, wait another 30 seconds, or even more.
Let's give our children time and space to do what is difficult for them.
Have fun everyone
Love to you
Kate
Sunday, November 29, 2009
From Kate Wilde: Acceptance
From Kate Wilde; The House of Wisdom has no walls.
The Son-Rise Program believes in the power of accepting everything about a child on the Autism Spectrum. We do not believe in the concepts of appropriate or inappropriate behaviour, in good or bad, right or wrong. These just create walls between us and a child who is doing the best that they can to take care of themselves, in an often confusing world.
When we see a child, or an adult through the lens of, "This person is doing the best that they can." Then we want to move towards, verses against what we see, and that's when we can start to create opportunities for growth.
All growth starts with acceptance.
If you are facing a situation today that you are finding difficult or challenging ask yourself; Am I moving towards this or against this?
If your answer is against, then take a moment, close your eyes and find a soft place inside of yourself to embrace this situation. There is no situation that you cannot embrace.
Find this place first.
I send so much love and care and good wishes to you all.
Kate
The Son-Rise Program believes in the power of accepting everything about a child on the Autism Spectrum. We do not believe in the concepts of appropriate or inappropriate behaviour, in good or bad, right or wrong. These just create walls between us and a child who is doing the best that they can to take care of themselves, in an often confusing world.
When we see a child, or an adult through the lens of, "This person is doing the best that they can." Then we want to move towards, verses against what we see, and that's when we can start to create opportunities for growth.
All growth starts with acceptance.
If you are facing a situation today that you are finding difficult or challenging ask yourself; Am I moving towards this or against this?
If your answer is against, then take a moment, close your eyes and find a soft place inside of yourself to embrace this situation. There is no situation that you cannot embrace.
Find this place first.
I send so much love and care and good wishes to you all.
Kate
From Kate Wilde: Treasure Hunt Game!
From Kate Wilde: Good Morning Everyone!
A great game from The Autism Treatment Center of America.
Just click on the video below to view a game you can play right now with your child. This game will help your child physically participate, and help lengthen their attention span.
If you are on face book right now just click on the title of this blog, then on "view original blog", then on the video itself.
Enjoy!
love to you
Kate
A great game from The Autism Treatment Center of America.
Just click on the video below to view a game you can play right now with your child. This game will help your child physically participate, and help lengthen their attention span.
If you are on face book right now just click on the title of this blog, then on "view original blog", then on the video itself.
Enjoy!
love to you
Kate
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
From Alison: An epiphany in happiness and being present
Being present has always been one of my greatest challenges in the playroom, here's how I found a way to overcome this.
It's late in the afternoon and I am nearing the end of another playroom session with my son Jordan, we both love music and we have had a great time discussing at length the number of movements that there are in a piano concerto by Mozart - the answer to which is three. As we start the conversation again I find that my mind is starting to wander, I'm thinking about what I might like to eat for dinner, what jobs are left to be done in the house, how I might spend my evening. All these things in this moment seem to be more important than being present and giving Jordan my full attention - after all how hard is it to come up with the word 'three' at the point in the conversation where Jordan asks 'how many movements are there in a Mozart piano concerto'. But if you asked me to take a step back and choose; would I rather spend my time thinking about housework or loving and connecting with my son Jordan, it would be a no brainer - Jordan would get my attention every time. So why am I still thinking about the housework?
It's late in the afternoon and I am nearing the end of another playroom session with my son Jordan, we both love music and we have had a great time discussing at length the number of movements that there are in a piano concerto by Mozart - the answer to which is three. As we start the conversation again I find that my mind is starting to wander, I'm thinking about what I might like to eat for dinner, what jobs are left to be done in the house, how I might spend my evening. All these things in this moment seem to be more important than being present and giving Jordan my full attention - after all how hard is it to come up with the word 'three' at the point in the conversation where Jordan asks 'how many movements are there in a Mozart piano concerto'. But if you asked me to take a step back and choose; would I rather spend my time thinking about housework or loving and connecting with my son Jordan, it would be a no brainer - Jordan would get my attention every time. So why am I still thinking about the housework?
Recently, I have found that my approach to life contained lots of purposes like going in the playroom, designing fun games, connecting with my friends, but no real intentions as to where I wanted to go for myself. I decided to take on some intentions that Bears suggested: to make happiness my priority, to love, and to have a closer walk with God. Happiness exists in the moment that we are in right now. We can bring memories from the past into the present and make ourselves happy thinking about them or anticipate an event in the future by bringing that thought up now, but essentially being happy is about being in this moment and deciding to be happy.
So, having decided this, I am back in the playroom again having the same conversation about the Mozart piano concerto. But this time, I build from the conversation because I am present, by pretending to play the piano in a very fast and furious way. Jordan then joins me and we have a piano race to see who can play the fastest and loudest (entirely possible on an air piano). But even more cool, when we get out of the playroom Jordan wants to play a duet of the Mozart piano concerto on the real piano and it turns out he knows the whole concerto in his head and can sort of play it.
So, by making happiness my priority for myself in my life I am more present - How wonderful.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Ipod game!
Hello Everyone!
Another fun game idea from The Autism Treatment Center of America. This is a game that will be fun for all children on the Autistic Spectrum, whatever stage of development they are at, this game is for you and for them, modify it to fit the motivations of your child, and give it a try.
There is nothing to lose by trying, just a whole lot of fun to gain.
Click on the video below, if you are face book right now click on the title of this blog, then on "view original blog", that will take you to where the video is stored, then just click on the video itself.
Enjoy! If you try this game at home, let us know by posting your experience in the comment section of this blog, or on our face book wall.
Love to you all
Kate
Another fun game idea from The Autism Treatment Center of America. This is a game that will be fun for all children on the Autistic Spectrum, whatever stage of development they are at, this game is for you and for them, modify it to fit the motivations of your child, and give it a try.
There is nothing to lose by trying, just a whole lot of fun to gain.
Click on the video below, if you are face book right now click on the title of this blog, then on "view original blog", that will take you to where the video is stored, then just click on the video itself.
Enjoy! If you try this game at home, let us know by posting your experience in the comment section of this blog, or on our face book wall.
Love to you all
Kate
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Celebrate Good Times, C'mon!!
Woo! Celebrate, celebrate, CELEBRATE! I looooooooove to celebrate!!
So often when someone new to the Son-Rise Program observes us working with autistic children here at the Autism Treatment Center of America, the thing that really stands out to them is how much we celebrate the child. Everything a special child does is a wonder and a gift to us and boy, do we let them know it! Celebrating our special children is such a beautiful way to show them how perfect they are, how much we love everything they do and to highlight the new and incredible things they do in the Son-Rise playroom... ultimately, we believe celebration will help inspire them as they move towards recovery from autism.
(And here's the added bonus - it feels great for us too!)
Seriously, if there is one HUGE thing I've taken from my work here as a Son-Rise Child Facilitator it is to find something to celebrate every day, in every area of my life. Focus on the positives, my friends, and by heck you will find MORE positives!
So let's try an experiment together. Let's all find 5 things to celebrate today that we have NEVER celebrated before. Hmmm... here are some ideas:
So often when someone new to the Son-Rise Program observes us working with autistic children here at the Autism Treatment Center of America, the thing that really stands out to them is how much we celebrate the child. Everything a special child does is a wonder and a gift to us and boy, do we let them know it! Celebrating our special children is such a beautiful way to show them how perfect they are, how much we love everything they do and to highlight the new and incredible things they do in the Son-Rise playroom... ultimately, we believe celebration will help inspire them as they move towards recovery from autism.
(And here's the added bonus - it feels great for us too!)
Seriously, if there is one HUGE thing I've taken from my work here as a Son-Rise Child Facilitator it is to find something to celebrate every day, in every area of my life. Focus on the positives, my friends, and by heck you will find MORE positives!
So let's try an experiment together. Let's all find 5 things to celebrate today that we have NEVER celebrated before. Hmmm... here are some ideas:
- The people who collect your garbage: yeah - those guys do an incredible job - let them know it!
- The check-out person at your local store - I bet they hear enough complaints so why not make their day with a celebration?
- Your bus driver - so... your bus was 10 minutes late? Great! It could have been 30 miunutes late! Thank you driver!
- Your spouse - how often do we really, deeply, genuinely celebrate those we see every day?
- Your neighbors - what a wonderful way to create a supportive community around your special person.
So go forth and celebrate my friends! Have fun!
(... and don't forget to celebrate the most important person - YOURSELF!)
Big love,
Jack
Don't Give Up!
Persistence is key!
At The Autism treatment Center of America I have played a part in the growth of hundreds of children. I have been a volunteer in six Son-Rise Programs and there is one thing that has kept me reaching out, even though at times it might have seemed like some of these children were not moving or developing. That thing is.......persistence!
Watch the inspiring video below about persistence and use it when your child appears not to be moving. there is always hope for incredible growth!
At The Autism treatment Center of America I have played a part in the growth of hundreds of children. I have been a volunteer in six Son-Rise Programs and there is one thing that has kept me reaching out, even though at times it might have seemed like some of these children were not moving or developing. That thing is.......persistence!
Watch the inspiring video below about persistence and use it when your child appears not to be moving. there is always hope for incredible growth!
The Holidays
As the holidays are gathering close, Thanksgiving, Hanuka, Christmas, Kwanzaa, I am thinking about how these Holidays can be so easy and delightful for some, but for many of our autistic children they are overwhelming, confusing, and not the delight they are "supposed" to be. They can be equally stressful for their parents, who often have to run after them making sure that they do not eat any food that they are allergic to, or hurt themselves.
If you have an autistic relative who is coming to your house for the holidays, there are four things you can do to make the whole experience easy for them.
1. Keep all foods that your autistic relative cannot eat OUT OF REACH. Instead of putting out bowls of candies, put out bowls of fruit and nuts. If you are not sure what they can eat, ask their parents.
2. Have a room available with a few of their favorite toys in a quiet place, where you can each take turns playing with them in an environment where they can easily be themselves, without the bombardment of the hustle and bustle of many relatives. That way everyone gets what they want, your grandson does not get overwhelmed and can enjoy the company of their family 1:1, and his parents get sometime enjoying their family members too.
3. Keep the background music to soothing and quiet music.
4. If their parents do not want to come this year because it will be too much for their autistic child, respect their wishes knowing that it is not a slight on you , but a desire to be the most helpful they can be to their son or daughter.
Wishing you all the best and most peaceful holidays.
with much love
Kate
.
If you have an autistic relative who is coming to your house for the holidays, there are four things you can do to make the whole experience easy for them.
1. Keep all foods that your autistic relative cannot eat OUT OF REACH. Instead of putting out bowls of candies, put out bowls of fruit and nuts. If you are not sure what they can eat, ask their parents.
2. Have a room available with a few of their favorite toys in a quiet place, where you can each take turns playing with them in an environment where they can easily be themselves, without the bombardment of the hustle and bustle of many relatives. That way everyone gets what they want, your grandson does not get overwhelmed and can enjoy the company of their family 1:1, and his parents get sometime enjoying their family members too.
3. Keep the background music to soothing and quiet music.
4. If their parents do not want to come this year because it will be too much for their autistic child, respect their wishes knowing that it is not a slight on you , but a desire to be the most helpful they can be to their son or daughter.
Wishing you all the best and most peaceful holidays.
with much love
Kate
.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Change your career and your life!
Apply for professional staff training at the
Autism treatment Center of America.
Change your career and your life! We are recruiting passionate individuals who love special children to train to become part of our elite team of Son-Rise Program staff in Sheffield MA, at The Autism Treatment Center of America.
We are dedicated to helping families, care givers, and professionals enable children to dramatically improve in all areas of learning, development, communication and skill acquisition.
Email admissions@option.org for more details.
Applications are due by February 19th 2010.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Communication
Here at The Son-Rise Program Intensive we have a 6 year old Autistic boy with gorgeous freckles. He uses many gestures to communicate, he points, waves, nods his head yes and no, communicates how many things there are by putting up the same amount of fingers, and kicks or slaps his Dad to let his Dad know that he wants to play with him.
So many lovely gestures to indicate what he wants, all of them work for him, including the one of kicking his Dad to initiate a game. Here's how:
His Dad is playing a great interactive game of scooping him up in his arms and tickling him, they play this together laughing for a couple of minutes. Then he stops playing the game and isms for a while lying on his back staring and playing with a little dog, when he is finished with his ism, he turns to his Dad looks at him and kicks his Dad in the stomach, his Dad then starts another tickle game with him, by immediately scooping him up. It became clear after watching this boy initiate every game with his Dad with a slap or a kick that this was this child's way of telling his Dad he wanted to play.
Sometimes our children's kicking, biting, hitting, etc is just a communication. They are not intending to hurt us, nor are they trying to button push.
So here this week at The Autism Treatment Center of America we are teaching both this little boy to use another way to communicate when he wants to play, like using words such as "tickle" or "play", and his Dad to tell his little boy that he does not understand it when he is kicked, but he does understand when his son says, "tickle" or "play".
This lovely boy is so smart he is getting it already!
Much love to you all
Kate
So many lovely gestures to indicate what he wants, all of them work for him, including the one of kicking his Dad to initiate a game. Here's how:
His Dad is playing a great interactive game of scooping him up in his arms and tickling him, they play this together laughing for a couple of minutes. Then he stops playing the game and isms for a while lying on his back staring and playing with a little dog, when he is finished with his ism, he turns to his Dad looks at him and kicks his Dad in the stomach, his Dad then starts another tickle game with him, by immediately scooping him up. It became clear after watching this boy initiate every game with his Dad with a slap or a kick that this was this child's way of telling his Dad he wanted to play.
Sometimes our children's kicking, biting, hitting, etc is just a communication. They are not intending to hurt us, nor are they trying to button push.
So here this week at The Autism Treatment Center of America we are teaching both this little boy to use another way to communicate when he wants to play, like using words such as "tickle" or "play", and his Dad to tell his little boy that he does not understand it when he is kicked, but he does understand when his son says, "tickle" or "play".
This lovely boy is so smart he is getting it already!
Much love to you all
Kate
Monday, November 16, 2009
Games, Games, Games
Good Morning to you!
More game ideas from The Autism Treatment Center of America.
Click on the video below, or if you are on face book click on the title of this blog, then on "View original blog, that will take you to where this video is stored, and then just click on that video itself.
Enjoy
Love Kate
More game ideas from The Autism Treatment Center of America.
Click on the video below, or if you are on face book click on the title of this blog, then on "View original blog, that will take you to where this video is stored, and then just click on that video itself.
Enjoy
Love Kate
Friday, November 13, 2009
Do it Anyway.
"When I dare to be powerful - to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid" -Audre Lorde
I have these words written on a postcard taped to my bathroom mirror. They have helped me move through any fears I may have about new or challenging things I might be doing. Like when I was learning to present the Son-Rise Program in front of 100's of people, or when I began my teacher training and had to learn to trust myself.
My vision is to do what it takes to help as many parents know about The Son-Rise Program, and to help them know how to help their special children and believe that they are the most powerful person to help their children on the Autism Spectrum.
Your vision I believe is to help your special children grow to be the best that they can be. I write these words today to you so that they may help you to do new and challenging things in the name of your children. Whether you are about to run your first group meeting with your volunteers. or give feedback to a volunteer and tell them something that you would like them to do differently with your child. Or maybe you are about to take your child out of school and start a home based program, or you are beginning a home based program without the support of your extended family. Maybe your are fundraising for the first time to help you get services for your child.
Keep hold of your vision for your child and this will help you do what is difficult for you. By doing it anyway it will become easier and easier, and you will be living the life that you want.
Be bold - start doing.
Know that we are thinking about you, supporting you and respect all that you do with and for your children each day.
Much love
Kate
I have these words written on a postcard taped to my bathroom mirror. They have helped me move through any fears I may have about new or challenging things I might be doing. Like when I was learning to present the Son-Rise Program in front of 100's of people, or when I began my teacher training and had to learn to trust myself.
My vision is to do what it takes to help as many parents know about The Son-Rise Program, and to help them know how to help their special children and believe that they are the most powerful person to help their children on the Autism Spectrum.
Your vision I believe is to help your special children grow to be the best that they can be. I write these words today to you so that they may help you to do new and challenging things in the name of your children. Whether you are about to run your first group meeting with your volunteers. or give feedback to a volunteer and tell them something that you would like them to do differently with your child. Or maybe you are about to take your child out of school and start a home based program, or you are beginning a home based program without the support of your extended family. Maybe your are fundraising for the first time to help you get services for your child.
Keep hold of your vision for your child and this will help you do what is difficult for you. By doing it anyway it will become easier and easier, and you will be living the life that you want.
Be bold - start doing.
Know that we are thinking about you, supporting you and respect all that you do with and for your children each day.
Much love
Kate
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Game Idea
Hello Everyone,
Another game idea from The Autism Treatment Center of America.
You can play this with you child as is, or modify it to your child's current motivations. If this idea stimulates another theme idea, please post it on our wall so that other parents can be inspired by it.
Just click on the video below, or if you are on face book right now, click on the title of this blog, then on "View Original Post", that will take you to where the video is stored, then just click on the video itself.
Enjoy!
with much love to you all and hugs to your beautiful children.
Kate
Another game idea from The Autism Treatment Center of America.
You can play this with you child as is, or modify it to your child's current motivations. If this idea stimulates another theme idea, please post it on our wall so that other parents can be inspired by it.
Just click on the video below, or if you are on face book right now, click on the title of this blog, then on "View Original Post", that will take you to where the video is stored, then just click on the video itself.
Enjoy!
with much love to you all and hugs to your beautiful children.
Kate
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
A bit of History.
Good Morning Everyone!
I would like to share with you a bit of history I found while tidying my office yesterday.
It is our program Goals dated "01/12/1998" from our Son-Rise Program with Jade Hogan, who is my God Child, and the daughter of William and Bryn Hogan, two senior teachers here At The Autism Treatment Center of America. At this time she was just a tiny 3 year old with autism, today she is 14, a typical teenager who love the Jonas brothers, and attends regular main stream school! For those of you who do not know her story you can call us at 413 229 2100 and request the free DVD, "Inspiring Journeys of Son-Rise Program Families and their Children." Her story is the one called, "Reaching for the stars."
Written at the top of the goals we had chosen for her that week was the following:
Amazing Jade
We will believe - each day - in our special girl.
We will imagine our dreams for her made real - in 30 days.
We will use the power of our minds and hearts to transform her.......and ourselves.
Please think of her - please be a visionary for her -
"Visionaries are possessed creatures. Men and Women caught in the thrall of a belief so powerful that they will allow nothing, not even reason, to stop them from ensuring that reality catches up with their dreams."
As I remember each of us picked one thing that we wanted Jade to be able to do with us by the end of 30 days, and one thing in which we wanted to grow ourselves in, in those 30 days. Then each day we would each visualize in our minds eye this happening. I remember that I had wanted her to run over to me and hug me when I entered the room, at that time she would often shy away from physical contact, and very rarely initiate it. Today she often runs to me and hugs me full of news of what she has done since I last saw her.
Maybe this is something you and your team could do together at your next group meeting.
Much love to you all
Kate
I would like to share with you a bit of history I found while tidying my office yesterday.
It is our program Goals dated "01/12/1998" from our Son-Rise Program with Jade Hogan, who is my God Child, and the daughter of William and Bryn Hogan, two senior teachers here At The Autism Treatment Center of America. At this time she was just a tiny 3 year old with autism, today she is 14, a typical teenager who love the Jonas brothers, and attends regular main stream school! For those of you who do not know her story you can call us at 413 229 2100 and request the free DVD, "Inspiring Journeys of Son-Rise Program Families and their Children." Her story is the one called, "Reaching for the stars."
Written at the top of the goals we had chosen for her that week was the following:
Amazing Jade
We will believe - each day - in our special girl.
We will imagine our dreams for her made real - in 30 days.
We will use the power of our minds and hearts to transform her.......and ourselves.
Please think of her - please be a visionary for her -
"Visionaries are possessed creatures. Men and Women caught in the thrall of a belief so powerful that they will allow nothing, not even reason, to stop them from ensuring that reality catches up with their dreams."
As I remember each of us picked one thing that we wanted Jade to be able to do with us by the end of 30 days, and one thing in which we wanted to grow ourselves in, in those 30 days. Then each day we would each visualize in our minds eye this happening. I remember that I had wanted her to run over to me and hug me when I entered the room, at that time she would often shy away from physical contact, and very rarely initiate it. Today she often runs to me and hugs me full of news of what she has done since I last saw her.
Maybe this is something you and your team could do together at your next group meeting.
Much love to you all
Kate
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Being Hit & Punched and Love and Acceptance!!
Step 1. Don't Light Up Like a Christmas Tree!!
I just spoke to a mother on the phone this morning who wants to come to the Son-Rise Program Start-Up. One of the issues she wanted help with regarding her son, who is 5 yrs old, was the fact that he is aggressive towards her, hitting, punching and biting her. This is part of what I shared with her, which I thought would be a great reminder to you all. Enjoy.
I just spoke to a mother on the phone this morning who wants to come to the Son-Rise Program Start-Up. One of the issues she wanted help with regarding her son, who is 5 yrs old, was the fact that he is aggressive towards her, hitting, punching and biting her. This is part of what I shared with her, which I thought would be a great reminder to you all. Enjoy.
- Don't light up like a Christmas Tree: Getting annoyed or frustrated and angrily telling your child to "stop it", "it hurts", "that's bad," etc., in most situations, will encourage them to do this behavior more. Do your best to be as low energy as possible as you do #2 below.
- Look after Yourself: Love and acceptance does not mean you sit there while your child "beats the crap out of you!" Part of love and acceptance is wanting the best for yourself and your child. Take action - stand up if you are sitting down, get a cushion or big ball and put it in between you and your child; if they are trying to bite you - offer them something to chew on, etc. Bottom line - look after yourself and help your child channel their energy into something that would help them and also keep you from getting hit, bitten, etc.
- Run your Son-Rise Program: Each hour, each day you run your Son-Rise Program will be time spent helping your child develop their ability to interact and socialize more appropriately, which in turn helps them handle the over stimulation of day to day life and especially those situations where they do not get what they want. Many families have reported that when they started running their Son-Rise Program their child's "aggressive" behaviors greatly reduce or stopped all together.
If you want more information on handling such behaviors go to our homepage at http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/ , scrowl down the page and watch webinar #13 call Aggressive Behaviors.
Have the best time helping yourself and your child.
Much love to you
William
Monday, November 9, 2009
Exclusivity
One of the defining factors of Autism is that a child has Repetitive Behaviours, here at The Autism Treatment center of America we also see that not only can a child be repetitious but also "exclusive". What do we mean by "exclusivity"?
Exclusivity is when your child is not paying any attention to you. Their attention is on something else, maybe they are focused on a particular object like a book or a ball or a spinning top. Maybe they are simply just wondering around the room seemingly oblivious to the fact that you are in there with them, or that there are many fun toys in the room. Maybe they are just staring at a wall or the ceiling. You may have asked them something and got no response from them. The activity itself does not have to be repetitious, although it can be, just that they are not paying attention or being responsive to you.
How can you tell whether your child is being exclusive?
First ask yourself these questions, "Does it matter whether I am here or not?, meaning I have no real part or role in this game. If the answer is yes then most likely your child is being exclusive.
or, "Would my child notice if I left the room?", if the answer is no then most likely they are being exclusive.
When our children are exclusive they tend to have less facile expressions, more of blank look on their faces, they tend not to look at us for long periods of time, often positioning themselves away from us, moving away from our touch and looking at us less.
In order for us to be aware of this it is important to start to look for this. To spend a minute really looking at our children and to see where their attention is, is it with us or on something else. Then when we see that they are exclusive we can start to join in with what they are doing, but first we have to notice that they are being exclusive.
Click on the link below to see a video that will explain how to join your child.
http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/document.php?sectionid=46&documentid=47&filenum=03
Have fun noticing where your child's attention is and joining them.
with love to you!
Kate
Exclusivity is when your child is not paying any attention to you. Their attention is on something else, maybe they are focused on a particular object like a book or a ball or a spinning top. Maybe they are simply just wondering around the room seemingly oblivious to the fact that you are in there with them, or that there are many fun toys in the room. Maybe they are just staring at a wall or the ceiling. You may have asked them something and got no response from them. The activity itself does not have to be repetitious, although it can be, just that they are not paying attention or being responsive to you.
How can you tell whether your child is being exclusive?
First ask yourself these questions, "Does it matter whether I am here or not?, meaning I have no real part or role in this game. If the answer is yes then most likely your child is being exclusive.
or, "Would my child notice if I left the room?", if the answer is no then most likely they are being exclusive.
When our children are exclusive they tend to have less facile expressions, more of blank look on their faces, they tend not to look at us for long periods of time, often positioning themselves away from us, moving away from our touch and looking at us less.
In order for us to be aware of this it is important to start to look for this. To spend a minute really looking at our children and to see where their attention is, is it with us or on something else. Then when we see that they are exclusive we can start to join in with what they are doing, but first we have to notice that they are being exclusive.
Click on the link below to see a video that will explain how to join your child.
http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/document.php?sectionid=46&documentid=47&filenum=03
Have fun noticing where your child's attention is and joining them.
with love to you!
Kate
Saturday, November 7, 2009
At what cost?
This weekend I am at an Autism Conference, learning as much as I can about Autism Research. Today I watched a video from a very highly respected medical center showing their methods on how to get a child who did not want to eat to eat.
A beautiful 4 year old boy was strapped into a high chair, someone was standing behind him holding down his arms so that he could not push the food away. Another therapist was in-front of him holding his jaw open and placed a fork with a bit of food on it right in-front of his lips. They said that they do not force him to eat, they just wait like that until he takes a bite. It took this boy 45 minutes before he took the first bite, when he takes the bite they check to make sure he has swallowed it.
During this time no one spoke to him, the whole thing was done in silence and the therapists wore plastic gloves.
The professor reported with great glee how this method worked as the boy is now eating whatever is presented to him.
But the question has to be at what cost? Sure he ate, but did he have a choice? Did he eat because he was too sacred not to? Would you ever trust a person who did that to you? How can you build a relationship with someone you cannot trust? Would you like a person who did that to you?
Here at the Autism Treatment Center of America we entice children to eat new foods with fun, love and whole bunch of laughter. When a child takes their first bite of a new food (and they do regularly) we know that they did it because they wanted to, not because they had to. And most importantly the trust between the Son-Rise Program therapist/parent and child is never broken. Having our children trust us IS the most important part of the therapy, without trust there is no relationship.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning
Every once and a while, I wake up in the middle of the night from a scary dream or from having too many things on my to-do list... But I've found that no matter how scared or stressed I feel, I am always able to find my way back to sleep quickly by imagining that somewhere in the world, someone is playing in a Son-Rise Program playroom at every moment my day or night.
Perhaps it's because I have Australia on the brain, as I'm leaving in two weeks for a holiday in Australia and New Zealand, or perhaps it's because I speak to so many families from ALL over the world every single day - from Poland, Nigeria, England, Scotland, Ireland, Australia, Quebec, the Philippines, all 50 US states - just to name a few. Whatever the cause, I've been thinking a lot lately about how beautiful it is that there are SO many Son-Rise Program families out there - families who have made the choice to live their lives with a powerful intention - to love and accept their children exactly as they are.
For me, the playroom has become a sanctuary - where I can go and enjoy every moment - no matter what might be going on in my life or in the world outside. When I'm joining a child's ism or celebrating a child's sound, or laughing a child's first joke, I am completely 100% present in that room. So, for me, there's nothing more beautiful than the thought that at every minute of every day, somewhere in the world someone is in the playroom having a fabulous time.
The next time you're stuck, upset, scared, awake in the middle of the night - you're welcome to join me - by celebrating the joy of the playrooms all around the world. It brings a smile to my face and a peaceful feeling to my heart every single time.
Perhaps it's because I have Australia on the brain, as I'm leaving in two weeks for a holiday in Australia and New Zealand, or perhaps it's because I speak to so many families from ALL over the world every single day - from Poland, Nigeria, England, Scotland, Ireland, Australia, Quebec, the Philippines, all 50 US states - just to name a few. Whatever the cause, I've been thinking a lot lately about how beautiful it is that there are SO many Son-Rise Program families out there - families who have made the choice to live their lives with a powerful intention - to love and accept their children exactly as they are.
For me, the playroom has become a sanctuary - where I can go and enjoy every moment - no matter what might be going on in my life or in the world outside. When I'm joining a child's ism or celebrating a child's sound, or laughing a child's first joke, I am completely 100% present in that room. So, for me, there's nothing more beautiful than the thought that at every minute of every day, somewhere in the world someone is in the playroom having a fabulous time.
The next time you're stuck, upset, scared, awake in the middle of the night - you're welcome to join me - by celebrating the joy of the playrooms all around the world. It brings a smile to my face and a peaceful feeling to my heart every single time.
Start Fresh
What we believe about the people closest to us can determine how we act around them and the opportunities we offer them. This is particularly true with our children. It is easy to become complacent about how much we know our children. After all we have known them all their lives, sometimes we can predict how each of our children will react to certain situations, often we are right. This we then use as evidence that what we believe about our children is true. However our children are changing and growing everyday.
Here are the Autism Treatment Center of America we believe that parents are the best resource a child has, the best people to help their children. One of the first things we help our parents to do is to look at their child with fresh eyes, as if they had never meet them before and set aside any preconceived ideas and beliefs that they have about what their child will or will not do.
How many time have you said about your child, " Oh, he won't do that", "Oh, he does not like hats", "Oh, he can't draw", "He'll never eat that." Maybe you have had previous evidence that he has not done those things, but now it has become hard and fast fact that is now immovable.
At the Son-Rise Program Intensive we have a wonderful family and their 8 year old daughter with autism. We were told that she does not like vegetables and will not eat them, that she has not had a carrot since she was 18 months old.
Monday lunch time our talented child facilitator Kim Korpady offered her a carrot. Now, Kim did not know that she did not like carrots, and believed without a doubt that she would eat the carrot - and she did! Then she ate another one, then another one, then some cucumber, then some green beans!!
Because her family believed she would not eat vegetables they did not offer them, when clearly she had changed. Think of something today that you have not offered your child recently because you have had previous experience that they did not do it or like it, and offer that thing again.
I f they do it - cheer them; if they do not do it - offer it again in a few days, and then again in a few days - do not give up offering. Keep your mind open to the belief that one day your child might just want to try this activity.
Maybe today will be the time your child decides to try it.
Have fun offering things to your lovely children.
With much love
Kate
Here are the Autism Treatment Center of America we believe that parents are the best resource a child has, the best people to help their children. One of the first things we help our parents to do is to look at their child with fresh eyes, as if they had never meet them before and set aside any preconceived ideas and beliefs that they have about what their child will or will not do.
How many time have you said about your child, " Oh, he won't do that", "Oh, he does not like hats", "Oh, he can't draw", "He'll never eat that." Maybe you have had previous evidence that he has not done those things, but now it has become hard and fast fact that is now immovable.
At the Son-Rise Program Intensive we have a wonderful family and their 8 year old daughter with autism. We were told that she does not like vegetables and will not eat them, that she has not had a carrot since she was 18 months old.
Monday lunch time our talented child facilitator Kim Korpady offered her a carrot. Now, Kim did not know that she did not like carrots, and believed without a doubt that she would eat the carrot - and she did! Then she ate another one, then another one, then some cucumber, then some green beans!!
Because her family believed she would not eat vegetables they did not offer them, when clearly she had changed. Think of something today that you have not offered your child recently because you have had previous experience that they did not do it or like it, and offer that thing again.
I f they do it - cheer them; if they do not do it - offer it again in a few days, and then again in a few days - do not give up offering. Keep your mind open to the belief that one day your child might just want to try this activity.
Maybe today will be the time your child decides to try it.
Have fun offering things to your lovely children.
With much love
Kate
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Photographs of Your Wonderful Volunteer Team Wanted!
We are currently in the process of creating a video presentation of the Volunteer talk from the Start-Up program. When completed it will be put up on our ATCA website for families, who have attended the Start-Up, to re-watch and be reminded about "why to get volunteers?", "How to get them?", "Screening potential volunteers", etc. We are very excited about doing this.
As part of the video we would like to show photographs of families from all around the world pictured with their wonderful volunteer team. So if you have one volunteer or 10 volunteers please email us a fun picture of you and them together. If you want, but not necessary, your child could also be in the photo.
Please send the photo as an attachment to your email as a JPEG (jpg) file. In the email state your full name, your child's age and diagnosis, your location in the world (city & country) and how many volunteers you have.
Send the photo to me at: william@option.org
Thank you so much for supporting this video project and being an inspiration to other families.
With smiles and appreciation
William
As part of the video we would like to show photographs of families from all around the world pictured with their wonderful volunteer team. So if you have one volunteer or 10 volunteers please email us a fun picture of you and them together. If you want, but not necessary, your child could also be in the photo.
Please send the photo as an attachment to your email as a JPEG (jpg) file. In the email state your full name, your child's age and diagnosis, your location in the world (city & country) and how many volunteers you have.
Send the photo to me at: william@option.org
Thank you so much for supporting this video project and being an inspiration to other families.
With smiles and appreciation
William
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Immediate Love
Here at The Autism Treatment Center of America we get to meet so many lovely sweet souls. This week we have a beautiful and very lively 8 year old girl with autism. She loves to draw with a green marker and be chased and chased and chased.
As I watched her and delighted in her amazing ism of saying "arrhhh" in a high pitch tone, while starring into the corner of the room, and putting a finger to the side of her mouth. I felt grateful for all the great things I get to do each week. Who could have predicted that I would be saying "arrhhh" over and over again, but fun it is!!
One of my most favourite things I have learnt during my Son-Rise Program training, is the ability to fall in love with every child and every family that comes here immediately without reservation. There is no warm up period no time to adjust, just a jumping in and an embracing of the new people who are to become family for the rest of the week.
What would it be like if I exercised this with everyone I meet in my life? Maybe this is one of the gifts that our children are guiding me to grow in? In what ways are your children guiding you?
As always I send you much love and great respect for all the things you do with your children each day!
Kate
As I watched her and delighted in her amazing ism of saying "arrhhh" in a high pitch tone, while starring into the corner of the room, and putting a finger to the side of her mouth. I felt grateful for all the great things I get to do each week. Who could have predicted that I would be saying "arrhhh" over and over again, but fun it is!!
One of my most favourite things I have learnt during my Son-Rise Program training, is the ability to fall in love with every child and every family that comes here immediately without reservation. There is no warm up period no time to adjust, just a jumping in and an embracing of the new people who are to become family for the rest of the week.
What would it be like if I exercised this with everyone I meet in my life? Maybe this is one of the gifts that our children are guiding me to grow in? In what ways are your children guiding you?
As always I send you much love and great respect for all the things you do with your children each day!
Kate
Monday, November 2, 2009
Intense energy Take 2
Good Afternoon!
This week at the Autism treatment center of America we have an 8 year old girl with Autism! We are so excited to have her here and have spent the day really studying her, celebrating her, joining her and getting to know every delicious inch of her personality. I will let you know more about her as the week continues.
In my last blog on Intense Energy I talked about the different reasons our children may hit, bite, pull hair, pinch, punch or kick us, and an attitude to adopt when they do this. In this blog I am going to talk about some practical things you can do to avoid getting hit/bit or having your hair pulled.
1. Learn to recognize the signs.
2.Get out of the way.
As you read this don't forget to smile! So often when professionals or parents talk about their children hitting, biting kicking they get a really tight expression on their faces and talk in serious tones. Feeling easy and loving when our children are communicating in this way will be very important in helping them change .
1. Learn to recognize the signs.
Once you have recognized the circumstances when your child hits/kicks/bites etc you know when they are most likely to do it. For example do they tend to hit you when you have just said "no". Or do they tend to pinch and bite when they get really excited, or just after they have really tensed up their bodies. Once you know this you can:
Get of of the way!
2. Get out of the way.
If you know that you are going to tell your child that they are not going to get something, and that they often hit you when you do this, then before you tell them "no", step out of the line of fire, and keep out. Some of you may think to yourself, well "of course", but often times when we are uncomfortable we forget to do the most obvious things. I have often seen a student or a parent have their hair pulled by their child, and less than 10 seconds later they kneel down and put their head and hair in easy grabable distance from their child, and their hair gets pulled again.
I work with this fabulous mother and her lovely 18 year old young adult who has autism and down syndrome. He has a tendency to grab hold of her hair and pull it with all of his might when there are a lot of transitions in his life. Given that sometimes she was not able to calculate easily when he might do this, I suggested that she wore a hat that covered all her hair. Just doing this simple thing helped her feel easy when working with her son, and when he went to grab her hair he only got her hat and she had time to move out of the way, he now pulls her hair so much less.
If your child is older and bigger than you or nearly bigger than you and kicks if he cannot communicate his own wants easily, when you see this beginning to happen, move away and slowly position a large therapy ball/or cushion between you and your child. This way if he does decide to kick, your can easily hold the ball in-front of you so that he can only kick the ball verse you.
If your child has a lot of sensory challenges, she may show you that she needs to release some of her energy by jumping up and down more, or tensing her whole body. When you see this offer to squeeze her hands, arms, feet and legs. Experiment with different pressures, often times our children really enjoy deep pressure. By offering them a squeeze you are helping them release their energy before they get to the stage of biting or pinching you.
When I work with young children who bite when they are excited or when whey are seeking close physical contact from me, I will have a small squishy ball in my pocket, so that I can offer them to bit the ball instead of me. I will also put padding underneath by t-shirt on my shoulders, so that I can give big deep pressure hugs to children who may need this kind of sensory input without being concerned that they might bite my shoulder as I do this.
More blogs on "Intense Energy" to come
Much love to you all
Kate
This week at the Autism treatment center of America we have an 8 year old girl with Autism! We are so excited to have her here and have spent the day really studying her, celebrating her, joining her and getting to know every delicious inch of her personality. I will let you know more about her as the week continues.
In my last blog on Intense Energy I talked about the different reasons our children may hit, bite, pull hair, pinch, punch or kick us, and an attitude to adopt when they do this. In this blog I am going to talk about some practical things you can do to avoid getting hit/bit or having your hair pulled.
1. Learn to recognize the signs.
2.Get out of the way.
As you read this don't forget to smile! So often when professionals or parents talk about their children hitting, biting kicking they get a really tight expression on their faces and talk in serious tones. Feeling easy and loving when our children are communicating in this way will be very important in helping them change .
1. Learn to recognize the signs.
Once you have recognized the circumstances when your child hits/kicks/bites etc you know when they are most likely to do it. For example do they tend to hit you when you have just said "no". Or do they tend to pinch and bite when they get really excited, or just after they have really tensed up their bodies. Once you know this you can:
Get of of the way!
2. Get out of the way.
If you know that you are going to tell your child that they are not going to get something, and that they often hit you when you do this, then before you tell them "no", step out of the line of fire, and keep out. Some of you may think to yourself, well "of course", but often times when we are uncomfortable we forget to do the most obvious things. I have often seen a student or a parent have their hair pulled by their child, and less than 10 seconds later they kneel down and put their head and hair in easy grabable distance from their child, and their hair gets pulled again.
I work with this fabulous mother and her lovely 18 year old young adult who has autism and down syndrome. He has a tendency to grab hold of her hair and pull it with all of his might when there are a lot of transitions in his life. Given that sometimes she was not able to calculate easily when he might do this, I suggested that she wore a hat that covered all her hair. Just doing this simple thing helped her feel easy when working with her son, and when he went to grab her hair he only got her hat and she had time to move out of the way, he now pulls her hair so much less.
If your child is older and bigger than you or nearly bigger than you and kicks if he cannot communicate his own wants easily, when you see this beginning to happen, move away and slowly position a large therapy ball/or cushion between you and your child. This way if he does decide to kick, your can easily hold the ball in-front of you so that he can only kick the ball verse you.
If your child has a lot of sensory challenges, she may show you that she needs to release some of her energy by jumping up and down more, or tensing her whole body. When you see this offer to squeeze her hands, arms, feet and legs. Experiment with different pressures, often times our children really enjoy deep pressure. By offering them a squeeze you are helping them release their energy before they get to the stage of biting or pinching you.
When I work with young children who bite when they are excited or when whey are seeking close physical contact from me, I will have a small squishy ball in my pocket, so that I can offer them to bit the ball instead of me. I will also put padding underneath by t-shirt on my shoulders, so that I can give big deep pressure hugs to children who may need this kind of sensory input without being concerned that they might bite my shoulder as I do this.
More blogs on "Intense Energy" to come
Much love to you all
Kate
Be Silly
Hello Again!
There at The Autism Treatment Center of America being silly is on the menu everyday.
All children whether they are on the Autism Spectrum or not can be touched and reached by silliness.
Silliness knows no bounds -when we are silly there is no right or wrong, good or bad, just a delight in what is. A desire to reach out, and play with the gifts that life has given us.
Click on the video below, (or if you are on Facebook, click on the title of this blog, then on "View Original Post" which will take you to the video) for a little bit of silly inspiration, the Son-Rise Program way.
Much love to you and your lovely children.
Kate
There at The Autism Treatment Center of America being silly is on the menu everyday.
All children whether they are on the Autism Spectrum or not can be touched and reached by silliness.
Silliness knows no bounds -when we are silly there is no right or wrong, good or bad, just a delight in what is. A desire to reach out, and play with the gifts that life has given us.
Click on the video below, (or if you are on Facebook, click on the title of this blog, then on "View Original Post" which will take you to the video) for a little bit of silly inspiration, the Son-Rise Program way.
Much love to you and your lovely children.
Kate
Friday, October 30, 2009
An Extraordinary Celebration
Imagine this... A little girl diagnosed with autism celebrates her 6th birthday - and for the first time in her life is able to have a party with friends - and is completely indistinguishable from her peers - participating typically in every moment of the party. What a special birthday to celebrate!
Elizabeth is an amazing little girl with sparkly eyes who happens to love everything to do with the magic of fairies. She has an amazing little smile and she invites you in to play with her with such joy and delight - telling you all about her fairies and asking you which one is your favorite, and playing with you with such flexibility and ease.
Three years ago, when I first met Elizabeth's family - she spent most of her time playing alone - inflexible and rigid about what she would play, using only enough language to communicate her basic wants and not demonstrating any interest in her peers.
After two years of a home-based Son-Rise Program, she started school this year - and now has so many friends that she had to be convinced that she had room to invite her sister to her birthday party. For two hours, Elizabeth played games with her friends (in a big room full of carnival-type games), talked to her friends, participated in hitting the pinata, held her friend's hand while in line for a game, opened all of her presents and thanked each of her friends. It was a truly special day.
And now - Elizabeth talks non-stop about how fun the party was.
So, as Elizabeth blows out the candles on her birthday cake, I am sending a wish to each of you - that you find something extraordinary to celebrate in your children today.
Elizabeth is an amazing little girl with sparkly eyes who happens to love everything to do with the magic of fairies. She has an amazing little smile and she invites you in to play with her with such joy and delight - telling you all about her fairies and asking you which one is your favorite, and playing with you with such flexibility and ease.
Three years ago, when I first met Elizabeth's family - she spent most of her time playing alone - inflexible and rigid about what she would play, using only enough language to communicate her basic wants and not demonstrating any interest in her peers.
After two years of a home-based Son-Rise Program, she started school this year - and now has so many friends that she had to be convinced that she had room to invite her sister to her birthday party. For two hours, Elizabeth played games with her friends (in a big room full of carnival-type games), talked to her friends, participated in hitting the pinata, held her friend's hand while in line for a game, opened all of her presents and thanked each of her friends. It was a truly special day.
And now - Elizabeth talks non-stop about how fun the party was.
So, as Elizabeth blows out the candles on her birthday cake, I am sending a wish to each of you - that you find something extraordinary to celebrate in your children today.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
10 Variations for Snack
This week we are working in "The Son-Rise Program" intensive with a gorgeous five year old boy who is very motivated for food.
Here are 10 things you can do to vary the game as you give your child snacks from the shelf.
1) Put each piece of food into a toy bus/car/train/ambulance and deliver it to your child using a fun sound effect that goes with the vehicle you are using.
2) Wear a hat with the top cut off and a bowl of your child's favorite snack inside of it, you can work on eye contact as you bring each piece down.
3) Use fun puppets to bring each piece of snack down to your child.
4) Invite your child take your hands and dance to the shelf together to get the food. Experiment with dancing in different styles (e.g. rock and roll, ballet, etc).
5) Throw a tea party and serve up your childs snacks and drinks bit by bit using plastic cups and plates.
6) Bring each snack down for your child in a different way each time (e.g. fly it down, bounce it down, wobble it down, etc).
7) Bring two pieces of food down and hide them behind your back in both hands. invite your child to pick the hand he wants to get the corresponding snack.
8) Cut out circles from construction paper and tape them to the floor, pretend they are giant stepping stones or lilly pads that the two of you have to jump across to get to the food. Play around with pretending to fall into the water to lengthen the game.
9) Place strips of Artist's tape across the floor to the shelf pretending it's a train track. You are the "eat train" which gives your child rides to the shelf and back with the snacks being your fuel to keep you both going.
10) Pretend that each time you touch the different snacks they make you do fun, slapstick actions (e.g. fall over, get the hiccups, start giggling, etc).
Have fun with food!
Here are 10 things you can do to vary the game as you give your child snacks from the shelf.
1) Put each piece of food into a toy bus/car/train/ambulance and deliver it to your child using a fun sound effect that goes with the vehicle you are using.
2) Wear a hat with the top cut off and a bowl of your child's favorite snack inside of it, you can work on eye contact as you bring each piece down.
3) Use fun puppets to bring each piece of snack down to your child.
4) Invite your child take your hands and dance to the shelf together to get the food. Experiment with dancing in different styles (e.g. rock and roll, ballet, etc).
5) Throw a tea party and serve up your childs snacks and drinks bit by bit using plastic cups and plates.
6) Bring each snack down for your child in a different way each time (e.g. fly it down, bounce it down, wobble it down, etc).
7) Bring two pieces of food down and hide them behind your back in both hands. invite your child to pick the hand he wants to get the corresponding snack.
8) Cut out circles from construction paper and tape them to the floor, pretend they are giant stepping stones or lilly pads that the two of you have to jump across to get to the food. Play around with pretending to fall into the water to lengthen the game.
9) Place strips of Artist's tape across the floor to the shelf pretending it's a train track. You are the "eat train" which gives your child rides to the shelf and back with the snacks being your fuel to keep you both going.
10) Pretend that each time you touch the different snacks they make you do fun, slapstick actions (e.g. fall over, get the hiccups, start giggling, etc).
Have fun with food!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
What's Most Important
This morning as I was getting the kids 'out the door' for school, we were rushing. My son couldn't find his cleats, the trash bag broke on the floor and we were rushing. I was focused on getting things done, on meeting my deadline to get them to school. I was focused on this until my daughter Jade said, "Mom" and she took my hand. I went to her and then, while holding my hand she said, "Dad, come here" and he came over. She put her arms around both of us and pulled us into a three way embrace. We stood in the kitchen, holding each other. She kissed my cheek and my husband kissed her head. We all looked at each other and smiled.
Then, I couldn't remember why I'd been rushing. I did though remember why my daughter would have thought for us to take this moment together. I remembered all the hours and days and weeks and years we spent in her Son-Rise Program playroom, working with her, helping her to 'come out' of her Autism. We focused not on 'getting things done' but on love and kindness, on hugs and sharing. Today, no longer having any Autism, my daughter is a living example of all we did then, and a daily reminder of what is actually most important.
Bryn
Then, I couldn't remember why I'd been rushing. I did though remember why my daughter would have thought for us to take this moment together. I remembered all the hours and days and weeks and years we spent in her Son-Rise Program playroom, working with her, helping her to 'come out' of her Autism. We focused not on 'getting things done' but on love and kindness, on hugs and sharing. Today, no longer having any Autism, my daughter is a living example of all we did then, and a daily reminder of what is actually most important.
Bryn
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Be Silly
Hello Again!
There at The Autism Treatment Center of America being silly is on the menu everyday.
All children whether they are on the Autism Spectrum or not can be touched and reached by silliness.
Silliness knows no bounds -when we are silly there is no right or wrong, good or bad, just a delight in what is.
A desire to reach out, and play with the gifts that life has given us.
Click on the video below, (or if you are on Facebook, click on the title of this blog, then on "View Original Post" which will take you to the video) for a little bit of silly inspiration, the Son-Rise Program way.
Much love to you and your lovely children.
Kate
There at The Autism Treatment Center of America being silly is on the menu everyday.
All children whether they are on the Autism Spectrum or not can be touched and reached by silliness.
Silliness knows no bounds -when we are silly there is no right or wrong, good or bad, just a delight in what is.
A desire to reach out, and play with the gifts that life has given us.
Click on the video below, (or if you are on Facebook, click on the title of this blog, then on "View Original Post" which will take you to the video) for a little bit of silly inspiration, the Son-Rise Program way.
Much love to you and your lovely children.
Kate
Monday, October 26, 2009
What Your Soul Sings
I recently came across the lyrics to a song that really touched me. Since working at The Autism Treatment Center of America, I have learned to be more authentic, to listen to my inner voice and follow my heart and most importantly to love myself. Enjoy.
What Your Soul Sings
Don't be afraid
Open your mouth and say
Say what your soul sings to you
Your mind can never change
Unless you ask it to
Lovingly re-arrange
The thoughts that make you blue
The things that bring you down
Only do harm to you
So make your choice joy
The joy belongs to you
And when you do
You'll find the one you love is you
You'll find you love you
Don't be ashamed
To open your heart and pray
Say what your soul sings
To you
So no longer pretend
That you can't feel it near
That tickle on your head
That tingle in your ear
Oh ask it anything
Because it loves you dear
It's your most precious king
If only you could hear
And when you do
You'll find the one you need is you
You'll find you love you
What Your Soul Sings
Don't be afraid
Open your mouth and say
Say what your soul sings to you
Your mind can never change
Unless you ask it to
Lovingly re-arrange
The thoughts that make you blue
The things that bring you down
Only do harm to you
So make your choice joy
The joy belongs to you
And when you do
You'll find the one you love is you
You'll find you love you
Don't be ashamed
To open your heart and pray
Say what your soul sings
To you
So no longer pretend
That you can't feel it near
That tickle on your head
That tingle in your ear
Oh ask it anything
Because it loves you dear
It's your most precious king
If only you could hear
And when you do
You'll find the one you need is you
You'll find you love you
The SON-RISE LIFE!!!
Enjoy this wonderful song written and performed with delight and enthusiasm by our Son-Rise Program Maximum Impact participants.
At our Son-Rise Program Advanced Training courses, each parent learns nitty-gritty specifics of how to help their child (or "children" as a number of the parents you see singing have 2 autistic children) but more importantly get re-energised, re-inspired and motivated for the next step in their Son-Rise Program journey.
I hope you enjoy this song as I did when they first sang it to me before starting class one day.
Smiles and celebrations
William
At our Son-Rise Program Advanced Training courses, each parent learns nitty-gritty specifics of how to help their child (or "children" as a number of the parents you see singing have 2 autistic children) but more importantly get re-energised, re-inspired and motivated for the next step in their Son-Rise Program journey.
I hope you enjoy this song as I did when they first sang it to me before starting class one day.
Smiles and celebrations
William
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Tantrums, Take Four
Your child is throwing a big tantrum, they are putting their heart and soul into it, believing that this is the thing that will move you. You are putting into effect the Son-Rise Program attitude.
- You comfort is not reliant on your child stopping their tantrum.
- You feel calm and easy and are enjoying your child even as he tantrums
- You marvel at his attempts to communicate and his mighty persistence.
You put a few of the highly effective Son-Rise Program techniques into effect.
- You explain to him that crying will not get him what he wants.
- That you cannot understand him as well when he cries and screams.
- You let him know that he can cry all he wants but it won't change the situation.
- You try and be helpful by offering him things ......SLOWLY.
- If you cannot get him the thing that he is wanting you offer an alternative .......SLOWLY.
But still he cries, screams and yells with all of his mighty intensity and persistence.
What to do???? Stay the course! Do not give up. Let your child know that you can keep your awesome attitude longer than he can keep up his tantrum.
After you have tried some version of the above techniques of being slowly helpful to your child, let your child know that you have tried everything you know to be helpful to him, and that know you are going to go play by yourself, and that he can continue to cry if he wants. Then go over to the corner of the room and start to play by yourself. Pick something to play with that you know your child likes, and then sincerely play this by yourself. It is not about trying to get your child to play with you, it is about communicating to your child that you have moved on, so have fun playing by yourself. When we do this what we often see here At the Autism Treatment Center of America is that the children may still cry for a while, but after a while ( which is different with very child) they either stop crying and start playing by themselves, or they come over and start playing with you. Either way your are communicating to your child that their tantrum no longer has currency with you.
For some of your children using crying as way to communicate has been effective with you for a long time. Thus they may stay invested in it for a while because of their history of it working with you. Keep yourself invested in really doing these techniques and attitudes for as long as it takes for your child to get through his use of the crying.
Sending much love to you and your children today.
Kate
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