You Can Grow Your Child’s Brain

Susan Humphries, Son-Rise Program Teacher

As a Son-Rise Program Intensive Teacher, I have the honor of working with a different family each week at the Autism Treatment Center of America®.  Hundreds of families worldwide have shared their child’s story with me– from the moment of diagnosis onward.  Even though these families come from a variety of cultural backgrounds, their child’s autism prognosis is similar. 

If you’ve heard these prognosis-related comments from professionals, families and friends, you’re not alone! 

• Your child will never speak.
• Your child will never feel or express emotion.
• Your child will never have friends.
• Your child will not know the difference between you and a stranger.
• Your child will not be cured of autism, it’s a life-long disorder.
• Your child will never be “normal.”
• Your child will be better off institutionalized, so you can focus on your other children.

These statements are simply other people’s beliefs.  Prognosis, by definition, is a prediction of how a future outcome may develop. The real question is: what do you believe about your child’s prognosis? 

Imagine if no one believed you could walk as a child. Or if your parent’s never held you up to stand.  What if no one believed you’d ever be able to read? Would anyone have given you a book?  What if no one believed you could speak? Would anyone have listened to you?

In The Son-Rise Program®, we have firsthand experience of children passionately defying all types of restricting and limiting beliefs.  Why? Because loved ones who believe in a future filled with hope and possibility, offer them opportunities! It’s what we believe about our children that determines what we offer them.  Here are a few encouraging studies and beliefs that will give you hope about your child’s future. 

1. Believe in limitless possibilities for your child’s future growth!   We will only offer the opportunity for our children to grow if we believe it is possible. 

• Not long ago, it was believed that the brain stopped developing after early childhood. There’s exciting research in neuroscience that suggests the brain keeps growing. Our brains are elastic not static! The Wikipedia Article titled Neuroplasiticity states, “During most of the 20th century, the consensus among neuroscientists was that brain structure is relatively immutable after a critical period during early childhood. This belief has been challenged by findings revealing that many aspects of the brain remain plastic even into adulthood.”
• Our brains change in response to our experiences. In the journal NACD, the article, Neurodevelopment Perspectives on Autism and Asperger's Syndrome by Robert J. Doman Jr. states, “Specific auditory, visual, and tactile input stimulates the brain and triggers neuro-growth that physically changes the brain and its function.”

These findings tell us that our children have flexibility baked into their DNA and that they are influenced by sensory exposure. In other words, whatever you focus on with your child will grow his/her brain.  The Son-Rise Program® principles are ideal tools to foster growth in your child.

2.  Create an environment that helps your child focus. Remember, the brain responds to input.  The Son-Rise Playroom is an environment set up to encourage play, interaction, and learning –without over stimulating your child’s senses.  At a playground, you have no control over the environment, which is often busy and full of distractions, and other people’s judgments of your child. 

3.  Stimulate the brain with play.  When you’re playing with your child and he/she is motivated, which is the optimal time for growth, request one of the Four Fundamentals: Eye Contact, Communication, Interactive Attention Span and Flexibility. For example, simply ask your child to look at you when you’re in the middle of a game. This moment will excite and stimulate your child’s nervous system, and help them grow!

4. Celebrate what your child does. Every celebration stimulates billions of cells, creating and strengthening neural pathways. It stimulates your cells, too. Plus, when you celebrate your child, you’re giving them, and yourself, a gift of love.

5.  Join your child’s exclusive and repetitious behaviors.  As your child grows, self-imposed, exclusive breaks are an important part of their learning process.  A study from New York University shows that the brain learns more effectively when it has periods of “wake rest.” This resting state helps the mind focus and retain what we’ve just learned. Son-Rise Program Child Facilitators have witnessed many children learn a new skill after being exclusive for some time.
Remember that believing in your child’s limitless potential influences what you offer them, and helps grow their brain!  I hope you have fun inspiring your child to grow those billions and billions of brilliant neural pathways, and showering your love upon them!

Today is a Gift! That’s Why it’s Called the Present

How present are you? Are you truly living in the moment? Or are you off somewhere else? Your mind may wander to a past event, get lost in a daydream, or shift from one thought to another without any real focus. Remaining present is an integral part of The Son-Rise Program and something many of us struggle with – including me. Over the past 14 years of practicing and teaching The Son-Rise Program, I‘ve worked very hard on this. I’ve learned that being present on a consistent basis is an ongoing process that requires both intention and action. When your attention isn’t focused on staying in the moment with your child, you may miss opportunities like his/her attempt to communicate or engage you in play. Here are some of the ways our thinking steals our joy, and causes us to miss out on important moments:

• Regretting choices you’ve made concerning your children
• Worrying about your child’s progress and whether you’re doing enough to help them
• Stressing about your children’s future
• Making comparisons about your child’s progress
• Feeling uncomfortable about something your child is doing or not doing
• Avoiding repetitious questions and things, i.e., reading the same book for the 100th time
• Thinking about our to-do lists, work projects, or the next step of play while interacting/joining our children in their repetitious and exclusive activities

Here are five ways you can become more focused on "now": 

1. Intention!  Know and trust that being present does not mean you will never dream, plan, or set goals for the future. It simply means that when you’re with your child, the goal is to stay attentive and remain in the moment.  You can focus on your tasks at a later time.  Right now, join them, celebrate them, entertain them, and then when you get the cue make your request. Remember it’s important to take time with each step, be attentive and hone in on their cues. 


2. Practice makes perfect!  When you’re completely in the moment during your daily tasks, you’ll get better at staying present with your child.  Try making a cup of tea without thinking about anything else but what you’re doing, or listening to a friend without forming opinions or problem solving in your head.  While driving your car to the store, instead of running through your shopping list, notice how the wheel feels in your hand, listen to the sound of the engine, and pay attention to how the road looks in front of you. 


3. Be aware of the times when you find yourself drifting.  You may notice a pattern. Perhaps you zone out when your child does their exclusive and repetitious activity (what we refer to as an “ism”), or when your mother-in-law starts complaining about something, etc.
4. Accept yourself.  When you catch yourself lost in thought, take note of it and say, “I’m doing the best I can” and gently bring yourself back to the here and now. 


5. Try to understand yourself.  Because we often have a lot on our plate, it’s easy to prioritize other things over being present.  When we’re in this place, it’s the perfect time to ask, “Is this really more important than staying in the moment with my child?”  If not, let it go without judging yourself. 

When children on the Autism Spectrum do things they love (i.e. exclusive and repetitious activity), they are incredibly present and focused. Nothing else matters.  They can become so involved and engaged with a certain topic of conversation that they simply do not allow anything else in.  Because they are masters of being present, we can learn a great deal from them.

When we follow these steps and are fully awake and present, we have the opportunity to connect more deeply to our children, and engage them in a more meaningful way. At the same time, you’re making it easier for them to bond with you. Children challenged by Autism are adept at decoding our attitudes and our level of openness towards them. So if we can stay in the moment during our time together, we’ll be a magnet to them.  In essence, you’re showing them just how wonderful and useful it is to be with people.  By remaining present, you’ll not only see their beauty and uniqueness in a brand new way, you’ll continue to discover more ways to help them grow. 

The Benefits of Celebrating Your Child

Celebrating your child on the Autism Spectrum each time they interact with you is an extremely effective Son-Rise Program® technique. After more than 25 years of working with children on the Autism Spectrum I would say that sincerely, warmly and enthusiastically celebrating a child’s attempts at interacting with us, IS one of the most powerful and impactful techniques we have not only to support the child’s development but also to enrich your own life.

Imagine if you realized that the technique of celebrating was one of the most powerful tools you have to help your child .  How would that change the way you celebrated your child? My guess is that your celebration would become more passionate and sincere. My guess is that you would increase the intensity and amount you celebrated your child. This change would enrich your child’s life and help them grow profoundly, but perhaps more importantly it will change and enrich your life as well. How?

For Your Child:

1.    They will grow. Your celebration shows your child on the Autism Spectrum that people are inviting, warm and fun to play with. As you  celebrate them for looking at you , talking to you, and interacting you are highlighting what you want them to do more of. Your child will develop in the areas you most pay attention to. Celebrate the areas where you want your child to grow, which for us at The Autism Treatment Center of America™ is social interaction. When you celebrate your child you are creating an environment of success and warmth … the ideal environment to foster growth.

For You:

2.    It will change how you see your child. Imagine if you celebrated your child every time they looked at you … every time they put their hand in yours. Imagine if you celebrated each time they responded to your request … spoke to you or made a vocalization. Yes that means you would be spending a lot of time celebrating.  But if you really did this you would be appreciating and SEEING all the times that your child is giving you what you want. Often we are so preoccupied in seeing what our child is not doing and focusing on encouraging them to do something that we may actually miss a lot of what they have already accomplished. Changing how you view celebrating will change this.

1.    The more you celebrate the better you will feel. There is no doubt about it … sincerely celebrating feels great! The more you celebrate the more you will see that not only is your child succeeding but also that you are too! This can translate into having more energy and hope for you and your child’s future.

2.    Celebrating will grow your ability to “be present”  and “to be grateful”. Barry Neil Kaufman (Co-founder of the Autism Treatment Center of  America and The Son-Rise Program) in his book, Happiness is a Choice, calls these two skills “short cuts to happiness”. By celebrating our children we are growing our muscle to choose happiness and comfort in our lives. When we are focusing on being grateful it is hard to be unhappy. Being happier feels good and will translate again and again into more energy to help your child. The more present you can be with your child the more you will grow your understanding of your child and how they operate.

3.    Grow your celebration of yourself and others in your life. As you practice the art of celebration with your child, it will spill over into other areas of your life. As you celebrate the other people in your life they in turn will tend to be warmer and sweeter to you. As you celebrate you will also become a model to your child and others in how to see and respond to the world.

Some of you might say,  “well my child does not like it when I celebrate … they move away from me or put their hand over my mouth, or in some cases my even tell me to stop”. If this is the case we don’t stop celebrating, instead find a different way.

• Celebrate them quietly versus loudly. 

• Respond first to what they are asking and then celebrate.

• Wait until your child has finished having a conversation with you, or playing a game with you, or looking at you and then celebrate the wonderful interaction you have just had.

• Make sure that your celebrations are age appropriate … take this into consideration especially if your child is older. What form of celebration would they like?

• Celebrate silently with your facial expressions and arm movements instead of always celebrating verbally

• Vary the way you are celebrating – are you stuck in a loop of always celebrating in the same way; this can get “old” or lose its effectiveness for your child.

Celebrations are like water and sun are to a plant … they are the food that nourishes our growth and attitude.

How to make it so “Things are Just Great!”

By Bryn N. Hogan, Executive Director Autism Treatment Center of America™ and Son-Rise Program® Teacher

We all want this. We all want to have the feeling that things are going GREAT. As I work with families from around the world through Son-Rise Program Consultations or Outreaches or when parents attend our programs here at the Autism Treatment Center of America, it is the wish of almost every person to FEEL good about what is happening in their lives, with their families, with their very special child. 

YET, often, this is not the experience people are having. How come? If we want to feel good inside, if we want to have the experience of optimism, joy, love and playfulness – why aren’t we? The answer, as always, lies within us. We tend to look OUTSIDE ourselves, to our child’s actions, our therapists report, our volunteers attendance, our weight, the tidiness of our kitchen…and we use these to determine how well things are going. If the outside circumstances of our lives conspire and line up perfectly (and we all know how rare that is) then we allow ourselves, momentarily, to feel good. If our volunteer is late, or our child has a tantrum, or the scale number rises when we stand on it in the morning, we create disappointment, stress and even despair. This is because we are looking OUTSIDE instead of INSIDE for our good feelings.

You CAN have the feeling that “Things are Just Great!” if you turn your focus inward. If you become the captain of your emotional ship. Here are three easy things you can do to re-claim your life experience – they are simple and easy and IF you do at least one of these on a regular basis – things WILL be great!

• Focus on something that IS working: As we go through our days we tend to focus on what isn’t working and to ignore what is. Purposely look for something that went the way you wanted and really let yourself take it in. “Wow – I got all the kids into the car this morning and everyone was wearing shoes!” “Hey, I put a load of laundry in the washing machine, now we’ll have clean clothes”. “I hugged my daughter this morning – wonderful”. Fill yourself with what IS happening that you want to be happening. 

• Say Thank You. Look around, at your child, at your living room couch, at the sun shining outside your window, and inside yourself, pause and say, ”Thank you”. “Thank you for this beautiful child”. “Thank you for this home that keeps me safe and dry” “Thank you for this food in my refrigerator that I can use to feed my family”. Gratitude is an instant doorway to feeling good inside. 

• Lighten up: Look for the humor in the situation. Let yourself ‘lighten up’. When things go differently than how you planned – laugh! Take it ‘lightly’ instead of making it so important. If your refrigerator suddenly breaks (as mine did last week) and you have to now unpack all of your groceries into coolers and bring them to a friend’s house (which takes three trips) and the refrigerator repair people (all three of them) tell you they can’t come for four days (True story!) Have fun with it! (You might as well – since this is how it is). Put on the timer and see which kid can fill which cooler faster, have ‘strength’ competitions to see who can carry the biggest bag of ice. Since it’s our experience – why not have fun? 

Just start with these three, simple things and you can then create the experience you want for yourself and your family , REGARDLESS of the circumstances. That is what The Son-Rise Program is all about – choosing our own experience – choosing love, gratitude and joy. Choosing to have a life where “Things are just Great!” Enjoy my friends!

P.S. When you try one of these at work please do post your story on the Autism Treatment Center of America Facebook page – we’d love to hear about it! https://www.facebook.com/autismtreatment

HOW TO GET VOLUNTEERS IN 3 EASY STEPS by Susan Humphries

Step 1: Believe

The very first answer to the question, “How do I get volunteers to support my Son-Rise Program?” (drum roll please) is to BELIEVE YOU CAN GET VOLUNTEERS.  Maybe you have heard yourself say such statements as:

• “People don’t want to volunteer in today’s economy,” 

• “No one in our country volunteers, I think it is something only accepted in other countries,”

•  “It is probably easy for people to get volunteers if they have a young child but not so much with my adult child,”

• “My child’s behaviors are too intense for other people,”

• “I think people won’t take me seriously because I am not an expert on autism, so why bother getting volunteers,”

• “No one does anything for free.” 

Your beliefs determine your feelings and actions. If you do not believe you can get them then you will not take action to reach out.

Here are some supportive beliefs to get you started:

• “I have countless number of people to choose from. As a matter of fact, there are millions of people of all ages, and as close as my neighbors, wanting to help children.”

• “People want a way to express their compassion, because it supports their good feeling and self worth.  My program is a perfect vessel for the expression of a person’s desire to help and to grow their own happiness.”

• “Believing is receiving.”

Are you bit skeptical? See below the fun statistics I found with little bit of research.

The Federal Agency for Service and Volunteering released a report with the following findings:

• In 2011-2012, the number of volunteers reached its highest level in five years, as 64.3 million Americans volunteered through an organization. 
• Americans volunteered a total of almost 8 billion hours,
• A majority of Americans assisted their neighbors in some way.
• Americans overwhelmingly volunteered in schools or with other youth organizations, working to advance the lives of young people.
• Nearly three out of five volunteers aged 25-54 are parents to children who are under 18. These parents volunteered well above the national average, focusing on helping fill local needs while also serving as role models—showing their children that community involvement is a critical choice and habit that can improve lives.

Of the 64 million people who volunteered, 30 % (over 19 million) of them volunteered mentoring a child.
For those of you who do not live in the United States the volunteerism movement does not stop at our borders, a simple search lead me to several not for profit organizations who have websites to support connecting people. I searched Nigeria, Brazil, Slovenia, Australia, Kenya, Iraq, etc. Regardless of the country, there were several organizations whose mission is to support people reaching people who are in need. Volunteerism is a worldwide phenomenon!

Step 2: Understand The Reasons Why Volunteers are Important For Your Son-Rise Program

Whether you are running a part time or full time Son-Rise Program, volunteers are key to supporting your child with a variety of relationships. The more your child is exposed to a variety of people …

• the more they are loved

• the more flexible they can become

• the creative energy your child is exposed to expands their interactive experience

• the more you prepare them for the outside world full many different kinds of people.

Having a team support your child allows you to take care of yourself.  Taking opportunities to care for yourself will allow you to be the best for your program, your family, and your relationships.   The time your volunteers are in the room is time for you to simply take a break, deal with other fun responsibilities, have quality time with your other children and spouse, etc.

Another incentive to recruiting your own volunteers is that you can monitor and coach volunteers who work with your child to hold a non-judgmental and loving attitude and you can guide them on what techniques to use to maximize your child’s social development and be their FUN FRIEND COACH. When you send your child to school or a day program, they are exposed to dozens of people that you have no hand in selecting or guiding, nor do you have any indication of what their attitude is. Remember, you want to be a beacon of great relationships for your child … if they are exposed to many people who are not prioritizing this attitude, it can impact your child’s desire to be with people.

The more time your child has to work out in their social gym with their loving Son-Rise Program Friend Coach, the more they get to really work those beautiful neuro-pathways. In addition, the more your child experiences people as being joyful and loving the more they learn that relationships are easy and fun.

Step 3: Take Action

There are many ways to recruit volunteers.  Here are some ideas to get you started. Remember the key is to believe you will find volunteers.  If you believe you will find them,  your actions will be powered by this goal.

1. CONNECT WITH EVERYONE: Contact every one you can think of: friends, family, and neighbors. Tell them you are on an exciting journey to love and guide your child using The Son-Rise Program®.  Brainstorm with them ways to reach people. WORD OF MOUTH is very POWERFUL.
2. TELL THE WORLD:



• Post on the Autism Treatment Center of America™ message board that you are looking for volunteers. Every year hundreds of people from all over the world who are interested in learning about how they can work with Son-Rise Program Children are directed to the message board looking for families like you.  Please post on the ATCA message board and not on the ATCA Facebook Page. In your message board post be clear about where you live, that you will provide training, and add any other incentives or information you feel is pertinent. Provide your contact email address versus your phone number. Also follow-up with a post announcing you have found a volunteer as an  inspiration for all of The Son-Rise Program community.




• Post Flyers which include a photo of you and your child playing. State in your own words that you are looking for someone who wants to play and help your child grow, no previous experience needed because you will train them and make sure to have the Autism Treatment Center of America™ website www.autismtreatmentcenter.org listed.




• Get an interview with your local radio, television, and newspaper. Tell them you want them to do a feel-good piece on your Son-Rise Program and make certain to mention you are looking for volunteers.




• Contact local colleges and ask if they give credits to their students for volunteering. Regardless if they offer credit or not, ask if you can make a presentation and post flyers in various departments.




• If you are computer savvy, create a simple web site or page that gives people who are interested a visual experience of your child. Post fun pictures of your child playing with another person, and videos and testimonies on your program.  In this powerful digital age many parents create amazing sites for their child’s program. You can search them on the web to get an idea

3. BE PREPARED: Make sure you are ready to receive and share information and to follow through with your search for volunteers.  If people say they are  interested give them your contact information and get theirs. One parent created a business card with a picture of her child playing, her email address and the Autism Treatment Center of America™ website www.autismtreatmentcenter.org. You can find affordable custom business cards online. Give them to your family and friends to pass out.


Have fun sharing your journey with others!

By, Susan Humphries

Imagine This! Introducing Imaginative Play into The Son-Rise Program® Playroom

Some say that children on the Autism Spectrum lack imagination. Perhaps this school of thought has to do with the fact that some of our children use objects that are traditionally used for imaginative play in a repetitious and exclusive fashion. For example, instead of using a plastic spoon to pretend to eat with, they may instead shake the spoon back and forth in front of their eyes or perhaps line the spoons up. It may have to do with the challenges they have with relating and connecting with others and therefore they are not as interested in learning and imitating what the people around them do. In a world that is over-stimulating in many ways, our children have enough to deal with in coping with the world around them. As I observe my own 18-month-old daughter, I notice that she is continuously pretending to do piles of laundry, rocking her baby doll and making her stuffed animals hug and kiss each other. She is observing the world around her and is trying to replicate what she has seen other people do … desiring to be just like them!

When I reflect on what it means to have an imagination, I realize that it means more to me than doing so in a socially appropriate way. You can be a writer, an artist, a poet or an innovator and be socially reserved or introverted at the same time. Perhaps it’s the way that we share or express ourselves that gets the label of whether we lack imagination or not.

The first step in helping our children unlock and express their imagination is to believe they have limitless potential and do indeed have an amazing imagination that they may not have shown us yet.

So … why is it important to incorporate imagination into our interactions with our children?

1) Social and Emotional Development: When our children start to dip their toes into the world of pretend play, they begin to experience things from someone else’s perspective. This will help our children see beyond themselves and allow them to walk in someone else’s shoes, developing an awareness and an understanding of other people’s thoughts and feelings. In a world that is unpredictable in many ways, our children will also gain control and increased self-esteem when they allow themselves to jump into a different persona and be anyone they choose. Through pretend play, we can also teach our children how to take turns and to share responsibility, allowing for a more social and reciprocal experience with our children who are so used to being exclusive and absorbed in their repetitious and exclusive activities.  

How do we do it? Use the items in your Son-Rise Program Playroom to symbolize other things. For example, if you are bouncing your child on a ball, you could pretend that ball is a space ship, a boat or a car. Or, you could become another character by singing to them in the voice of Elmo or their favorite family member. Encourage your child to physically participate by inviting them to feed a puppet, pet a stuffed dog or take a sip of some tickling tea! Our children will learn by watching you, so show them how to play before asking them to try it.   

2) Language: The use of language in an imagination game helps organize play and outlines and references what is going on when we act out a certain scene or story. This helps our children associate language with creating context or setting a scene, viewing it as a useful tool in their lives. It also allows your child to practice their language in an indirect way where anything goes (e.g. through a character).

How we do it? Have your child “play” a certain character. First show them how different characters may speak and what they may say. Make sure to pause and leave space for them to verbally participate and to be spontaneous with their language. For instance, if you are acting out a scene from Toy Story, try saying “I’ll be Buzz Lightyear and you can be Woody! Let’s pretend they are going swimming at the beach. To the ocean and beyooooond!......I’m so excited to see if the water will be warm or cold!”................

3) Cognitive thinking skills: Making deals and compromises with our playmates is an important part of imagination play and will help our children operate as a team with their peers, deciding who will play which character, what costumes to wear, props needed , etc. It will also help our children with sequencing and reflecting on past and future events as each scene is played out.

 How to do it? Ask questions or make requests to inspire our children to participate before moving to open-ended questions and requests. For example, if playing a zookeeper game, say “Shall we feed the monkey or the tiger next?” followed by “What shall we feed the penguins?” Motivate them to help you and to work together (e.g. “I need your help to put this forest fire out!”)

 When do we do this with our children? This is something to start introducing when our children have established physical interactions with us (e.g. tickling, riding, chasing, etc) and have also started to interact with shared objects and activities (e.g. ball games, puppets, simple board games, etc). We now want to start deepening the types of interactions they have with us by beginning to introduce symbolic and imaginative play into the picture. This can only be done when our children are available and are showing us they are ready and socially open (e.g. once they are looking, responding and already involved in an activity with us).

If they are already showing an interest in pretend play then go for it and help them expand their interests within the wonderful world of imagination and the possibilities to explore within!

Other helpful tips: Allow your child TIME TO PROCESS and to make their own decisions in the game before you do all of the work for them. Give your child opportunities to compromise and follow your lead when the timing is right.

USE THEIR CURRENT INTERESTS AND MOTIVATIONS to show them how to play. Demonstrate with their favorite stuffed animals and figurines.

CELEBRATE ALL OF THEIR INVOLVEMENT along the way, no matter how big or small!

GIVE CONTROL! If they don’t want to act something out but prefer to sit and watch, be excited and flexible during the game. The more adaptable you are, the more they will be inspired to try again later.

DON’T GIVE UP! Even if they don’t seem to understand a concept at first, it doesn’t mean they never will. When your child sees you as a role model and enjoying what you do, the more connected and motivated your child will become, the more connected and motivated they become, the more they will learn!

Once Shy … Now a Rock Star!

Dear Sweet People,

Please read on to enjoy one Son-Rise Program® mom's journey with her son, Kaleb.

"Thanks to being 'happy and loving' and the Lord bringing many amazing people to enjoy the journey, our once 'very shy' and removed 5-year-old son is now a 13-year-old rock star ... mainstream private school, A/B honor roll, lots of friends and invited to multiple slumber parties. He was one of two 7th graders to make the high school varsity baseball team this fall. His teacher last year told us that he was THE MOST POPULAR 6TH GRADE BOY ... 'Everyone LOVES Kaleb!'. Nothing but tears of joy!! Thank you for The Son-Rise Program Start-Up experience seven and a half years ago ... WE ARE FOREVER CHANGED!

To the rest of you in the middle of your Son-Rise Program, keep pressing on with love and acceptance!"

Parent: Audra C., Arkansas
Child: Kaleb
Diagnosis: PDD-NOS
Age: 13

With Love, 
Bears 

Signs of mental decline or mental incline?

Dear Sweet People, 

How often do you ask yourself how you are doing or how you are feeling ... right at this moment?

One key sign of mental decline is asking the same question or same kinds of questions repeatedly. I laughed when I noticed that criteria topped the list identifying mental decline. How often have I asked people in the past 30 plus years ... "How are you feeling?" or "Why are you unhappy about that?" or "Why do you believe that?"

I always considered such devoted curiosity and fascination were signs of mental incline!!!

So ... here are some mental incline questions:

"What am I thinking right now?"
"What am I feeling right now?"
"What am I doing right now ... and why?


Ask away ... more than several times a day ... these questions allow us to take a moment to pause and observe ourselves from the inside and outside ... these questions allow us to educate ourselves about ourselves ... and ultimately provide self-knowledge which leads to self-change.

Ah ... it's all a matter of perspective or "make believe" or make up a belief about the meaning of who we are and what we do.

Enjoy your mental incline.

Love, 
Bears 

A Mother’s Love Shines Through with The Son-Rise Program

Here is a story that will inspire you! It is a story of a single mother named Teboho from Africa who is making her dreams come true for herself and her son. When her son was 14-years-old, he was living in a residential setting and came home every other weekend. At the end of the weekend Teboho felt that her son was just starting to connect with her and she longed for this interaction with him, yet it was time for him to go back to his residential home.  It was then that she decided to bring him home full-time as she deeply wanted to have this relationship with him. She also believed she could help him more.

Not knowing exactly how to help her son, she searched for an effective Autism treatment option and eventually discovered The Son-Rise Program®. However, in order for her to get to The Son-Rise Program® Start-Up training course that is over 8,000 miles away, this was a distant dream. She loves her son and passionately wanted to learn all she could to help him, so she began talking with a Son-Rise Program Advisor at the Autism Treatment Center of America™. She shared her challenges - lack of money, the difficulty of obtaining child care, time off from work, etc. For Teboho, there were many reasons why this dream would not become a reality. However, having shared her concerns, a Son-Rise Program Advisor was able to support and guide her – she was given a scholarship towards her tuition and presented with ideas of how to ask her family, friends and community for help. For the very first time and with a deep sense of humility and determination, Teboho reached out for help. She asked her church, her friends and her family. In 2011, she made her dream a reality and attended The Son-Rise Program Start-Up training course in Sheffield, Massachusetts, USA, having raised all the money she needed, organized care for her son while she was away, arranged time-off work, as well as all the other hundreds of details that make such a trip possible.

            And so her life changed. As soon as Teboho came home after The Son-Rise Program Start-Up course, she started working with her son. The training had given her a clear way to help him interact more, increase his eye contact and express what he wanted by using his language more than ever. It also helped her guide him through his challenging behaviors. Before The Son-Rise Program Start-Up her son would bang doors (loudly) over and over again to get her attention. Now, after applying everything that she had learned her son no longer banged doors but instead comes to his mother to communicate what he wants. Her love and determination to get the proper training had made this possible.

Teboho continued to dream. She wanted to learn more to help her son, “I want to take him to The Son-Rise Program Intensive!” she told herself. And so began the next step in her journey. She talked with her Son-Rise Program Advisor, again getting the encouragement and guidance to bring her dream alive. She received a scholarship that greatly helped. Again she reached out, again she did all that was required and with great persistence and passion she made it possible for both herself and her son to come to the Autism Treatment Center of America. She was also able to bring her sister for support and help on this adventure.

With a mixture of nervousness and excitement Teboho arrived at the Johannesburg Airport with her sister and 17-year-old son with Autism to begin their journey to The Son-Rise Program Intensive. Ahead was a 25-hour journey including two plane rides and a car ride. However, the journey did not go as planned …  While waiting in the check-in line Teboho’s son became overwhelmed by all the noises, the visual stimuli and the people waiting in line and ran out of the airport and would not come back in. As they drove away from the airport Teboho cried as she talked with one of The Son-Rise Program Teachers as she shared her feelings of disappointment, fear and hopelessness about not getting her son to the United States for the help she so deeply wanted for her son and herself. That evening as these feelings swirled around within her she focused on her love and what she wanted for her son-she did not give up! She called the airline to set up a different system of boarding the plane and with this plan and hope in her heart that all would work out, she arrived back at the airport. That evening she boarded the plane with her son and her sister bound for The Son-Rise Program Intensive in the USA.

They arrived with great relief at the Autism Treatment Center of America, one day late. As our Son-Rise Program Intensive staff added additional hours for the remaining four days, Teboho was determined to help her son to the fullest. In these four days she learned so much and observed The Son-Rise Program Child Facilitators working with her son. They worked with him from 9:00 in the morning until 6:00 at night and had the best time! Here are just a few of the changes he made during this week: 

• His interactive attention span doubled!
• Having received many years of ABA therapy he had very little spontaneous language and most of the time repeated the last sentence a person said to him. This week he increased his spontaneous interaction.
• He was more affectionate.
• He allowed more physical contact.
• He made more eye-to-eye contact and for longer.
• He smiled more throughout the week (more than his mother had ever seen before.)
• He used more language.
• He was singing every night after the playroom sessions, as he walked around the apartment.
• He went into the playroom on his own in the morning.
• He was calmer and more connected.

These are incredible changes! As one of The Son-Rise Program Teachers during this week I felt very honored and blessed to be a part of their journey. The moments that stood out for me were the times Teboho smiled and laughed with her son. It was so beautiful to witness her devotion and to see what she made happen for herself and her son.

I share this story of this single mother and her son because like many stories that I hear, this one inspired me. I feel inspired by the power of Teboho’s love, her humility and unwavering determination – it would have been very easy and understandable for her to never have started this journey … but she did. It is a story of inspiration- that we too can create the life we want for ourselves and our loved ones. Even with our fears and thoughts of the impossible, all that is required is the love in your heart and the determination to take the first step, and then the next. There is no guarantee you will get exactly what you dream for but you will never know if you do not take that first step and all the steps that follow. Let this mother inspire you – take that next step!

With much love, celebration and support, 
William

SON-RISE PROGRAM EYES

At the Autism Treatment Center of America™ we have helped thousands of parents and volunteers help their children on the Autism Spectrum. Please read on to reveal that with eyes of acceptance we can embrace our children.

In working with our heroes recently (moms and dads blessed with children with Autism) at the Autism Treatment Center of America, I introduced the perspective of creating Son-Rise Program® Eyes: not only seeing our children through the eyes of acceptance and inclusion, but practicing having those eyes in the lunchroom, in a supermarket or when visiting our families.

Practice beholding all people with the same regard with which we embrace our children in our Son-Rise Program playrooms.

Love, 
Bears

Barry (Bears) Neil KaufmanCo-Founder of the Option Institute™ & Autism Treatment Center of America™, Home of The Son-Rise Program®, Author: Happiness Is A Choice, Son-Rise: The Miracle Continues and No Regrets. 

I CAN or I CAN’T?

Did you know that it is up to you to choose your beliefs? Please read on to reveal that YOU can choose how you view every situation in your life.

Common knee-jerk reaction to situations:
"This is bad for me, and/or I can't handle it." The Option Process® alternative: "This is good for me and/or I can and will handle it."

Different belief filters through which to view a situation:

• The first belief filter brings on stress and discomfort (and, with them, decreased immune system function).
• The alternative belief produces comfort, even excitement (healthy immune function).

Unhappiness = discomfort/disease. Happiness = possibilities for greater health/healing. AND THE KICKER IS: WE CHOOSE OUR BELIEFS, which determine whether we will be happy or unhappy. What freedom! What possibilities!

Try this: pause after your next pessimistic knee-jerk reaction and do an optimistic REPLACEMENT BELIEF. You can do it. We have taught thousands and thousands of folks HOW to do it. Nothing to risk, nothing to lose. Go ahead, flip some beliefs and let me know what you did! 

Love and Smiles, 
Bears
Barry (Bears) Neil Kaufman

Celebration has results

Dear Friends,

Please enjoy this inspirational story of Raun K. Kaufman's very own Son-Rise Program journey.

In the 1970's, when our son Raun recovered fully from Autism through The Son-Rise Program, he accomplished this for several reasons.

1. We never judged his unique repetitive behaviors as inappropriate or "bad."

2. This allowed us to freely join him in his world of Autism. (Whenever he rocked, we rocked; whenever he flapped his hands, we flapped ours.)

3. Because we'd created this safe and supportive environment, Raun could express himself while those around him (volunteers we trained) showed him caring and appreciation. 

As a result, Raun became extraordinarily motivated to dare to do what was so difficult for him, though easy for most typical children. Taking miniscule steps, he would allow himself to look at us for only seconds at a time (after avoiding eye contact for over a year), and he would push himself to make sounds in an attempt to form even the simplest words (though he had been essentially mute). As a child with Autism, he had always pulled away from being touched. But now he began to allow us to give him small tokens of affection - touching his hand or tapping gently on his leg. We celebrated his every move - smiling, applauding, and cheering.

As we watched Raun move out of the safety of his self-encapsulated universe and inch into our world, we believed his developing abilities must have been supported by neural growth ... as if Raun had pressed himself to grow or reconfigure his neural pathways to support his reaching out. (Neuroplasticity certainly hadn't been talked about then.) Some clinicians smiled with skepticism at our assertions. However, more recent research in the rehabilitation of stroke victims supports our understanding of the body's ability to reconstruct itself neurologically in response to a person's motivation to reclaim the ability to move limbs or walk or talk. We joined Raun in his behaviors with passion and love. In turn, he became inspired and motivated to do what appeared nearly impossible. Today, with our staff, which includes Raun as one of the senior teachers, we continue to help thousands of families, teaching them how to help their children to take the same healing journey that our son took years ago.

Love and Smiles, 

Bears