From kate Wilde: Hello Everyone!
Click on the video below for a little inspiration in keeping your energy levels up this Holiday season.
Looking forward to spending another year helping children on the Autism Spectrum and their families.
Much love to you all
Kate and Jack
Monday, December 28, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Creativity
From Kate Wilde:Here at The Autism Treatment Center of America we believe that creativity is all about attitude, when we enjoy what we are doing we are creative. To learn more about the attitude of creativity click on the video below, or if you are on face book click on the title of this blog, then on "view original blog", then on the video itself.
Sending much love and good wishes to you and your children this Holiday!
Kate
Sending much love and good wishes to you and your children this Holiday!
Kate
Monday, December 21, 2009
Deciding to Get ON
"One thing about trains ... it doesnt matter where they're going, what matters is deciding to get on." - The Polar Express. This sums up our journey with our special needs children. We dont know which way our children are going to go, but we hop on board and enjoy the ride - wherever the ride may take us. This is the very difference between the Son-Rise Program® and the other programs. Its taking the courage to ride the ride without being attached to the outcome. Even better - our children are the engineers! Deciding to GET ON is the best decision i ever made for helping my daughter, Tyler, reach her brightest star! Riding the ride with Tyler to the end!!!
Love, Jamie Rae
Love, Jamie Rae
The ancient art of juggling!!
From Alison: Are you crazy busy right now? Trying to run a Son Rise Program and a house and care for your children during the school holidays and prepare for the holiday festivities and to cap it all now dig yourself out of the snow?
I love this time of the year - almost everyone seems to catch on to the idea of the 3E's and life takes on a magical quality as we await the BIG day with anticipation. But for the people who provide all the finance, presents and food etc it can feel very stressful and in the past I have felt stressed by what I felt was my duty to make everyone happy. After all there is so much to remember, getting the right people to the right places with the right stuff for that all important performance or party. It can feel like juggling 20 balls at once with a very grave danger that they could all end up on the floor.
I love this time of the year - almost everyone seems to catch on to the idea of the 3E's and life takes on a magical quality as we await the BIG day with anticipation. But for the people who provide all the finance, presents and food etc it can feel very stressful and in the past I have felt stressed by what I felt was my duty to make everyone happy. After all there is so much to remember, getting the right people to the right places with the right stuff for that all important performance or party. It can feel like juggling 20 balls at once with a very grave danger that they could all end up on the floor.
So how have I done things differently this year? Well in the past I have decorated every room in my house except the playroom with christmas lights, paper chains and tinsel, it took weeks to put it all up and bit by bit Jordan pulled it all down again (including the tree), I did this because I love the sparkle of christmas lights and tinsel , but I was so busy doing it all that I didn't notice that Jordan found it too much. My change in approach came from me sitting down with myself and deciding what I thought was really important - what did I want this year. I realised thanks to the programs that I have been on this year at The Option Institute, that if I was stressed then I was doing that to myself, that if I was overworked then it was because I had decided that I wanted to carry on till I could carry on no longer - I owned my actions and my feelings. So this year, I have slashed my workload, with only one tree, less food, and the knowledge that I can't make other people happy they have to do that for themselves. One thing that I knew I did want was to actually have time to play more over the holidays to not be so wrapped up in the task of christmas that I missed the opportunity to develop relationships with the people around me. I am making that my priority this year. So far I am not stressed and am loving the fun of making a snow dude in our garden and continuing with the Son Rise program with a christmas theme.
I hope that you have a wonderful holiday and that you enjoy whichever festival it is that you celebrate with the people that you love and that you have a blessed and peaceful 2010
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Giant Animal Blocks
From Kate Wilde: Giant Animal blocks, a fun prop idea from our talented Son-Rise Program Child facilitator Kim Korpady.
Click on the video below, (or if you are on face book click on the title of this blog, then on , "View Original Blog" then on the video itself), to see how you could use these giant animal blocks in your Son-Rise Program playroom with you children on The Autism Spectrum.
Have fun being silly with these blocks.
Love to you all
Kate
Click on the video below, (or if you are on face book click on the title of this blog, then on , "View Original Blog" then on the video itself), to see how you could use these giant animal blocks in your Son-Rise Program playroom with you children on The Autism Spectrum.
Have fun being silly with these blocks.
Love to you all
Kate
From Jack: On Anger and Powerlessness...
From Jack: Hullo friends!
So I'm writing this from JFK airport, where I have been stranded for 12 hours due to heavy snows, and am due to be here for another 12 hours before a replacement flight back to the UK can be scheduled... this entails trying to sleep on the hard, cold floor (all the hotels were booked by the time they cancelled my flight), not having anything to wash with for over 24 hours (!!!) and missing a big family party back in England that I was excited to attend.
Now, this has got me thinking about when things happen that are outside our control. I noticed that when our flight was first delayed, then cancelled, many people reacted by getting angry. Some just looked grumpy and muttered to each other, others shouted at the airline staff. I even noticed myself getting a little frustrated - this wasn't turning out to be the smooth travel experience I wanted!
And then I thought a little about anger. So often, we get angry because things are happening that we cannot control. We feel powerless and so shouting at someone is a way for us to feel more powerful. But my question is - does it really work? I know that whether I get angry or not, my plane won't magically be able to take off. So why get myself upset and angry about it? Why not enjoy the situation that the universe has given me? Why not see this sense of powerlessness as a challenge to step-up and find something to love in any circumstance? If we can't change the situation, why not at least give ourselves the best experience waiting it out?
Have a wonderful, deeply loving holiday season
Much love and warmth
Jack
So I'm writing this from JFK airport, where I have been stranded for 12 hours due to heavy snows, and am due to be here for another 12 hours before a replacement flight back to the UK can be scheduled... this entails trying to sleep on the hard, cold floor (all the hotels were booked by the time they cancelled my flight), not having anything to wash with for over 24 hours (!!!) and missing a big family party back in England that I was excited to attend.
Now, this has got me thinking about when things happen that are outside our control. I noticed that when our flight was first delayed, then cancelled, many people reacted by getting angry. Some just looked grumpy and muttered to each other, others shouted at the airline staff. I even noticed myself getting a little frustrated - this wasn't turning out to be the smooth travel experience I wanted!
And then I thought a little about anger. So often, we get angry because things are happening that we cannot control. We feel powerless and so shouting at someone is a way for us to feel more powerful. But my question is - does it really work? I know that whether I get angry or not, my plane won't magically be able to take off. So why get myself upset and angry about it? Why not enjoy the situation that the universe has given me? Why not see this sense of powerlessness as a challenge to step-up and find something to love in any circumstance? If we can't change the situation, why not at least give ourselves the best experience waiting it out?
Have a wonderful, deeply loving holiday season
Much love and warmth
Jack
Friday, December 18, 2009
From Becky: Diet Tips take 3
More Ideas to spice up a gluten/casein and sugar free diet:
Mustard
Mustard is great because it's the only condiment I have found that doesn't contain sugar and sugar products, wheat or dairy.
You can find all kinds of different mustard's at the grocery store. Always check the labels because some do contain sugar.
I use spicy brown mustard as a dipping sauce. This is great if your child is used to eating lots of sugary condiments such as ketchup, steak or barbecue sauce. It makes for a sweet and interesting substitute.
I Make my own salad dressing out of mustard, olive oil, vinegar and garlic. I keep whole garlic cloves in the bottle so they don't fall out when pouring and just keep topping up the other ingredients to taste.
You can also use mustard as part of a marinade or when cooking to thicken meat or vegetable juices.
Yeah for mustard!
Mustard
Mustard is great because it's the only condiment I have found that doesn't contain sugar and sugar products, wheat or dairy.
You can find all kinds of different mustard's at the grocery store. Always check the labels because some do contain sugar.
I use spicy brown mustard as a dipping sauce. This is great if your child is used to eating lots of sugary condiments such as ketchup, steak or barbecue sauce. It makes for a sweet and interesting substitute.
I Make my own salad dressing out of mustard, olive oil, vinegar and garlic. I keep whole garlic cloves in the bottle so they don't fall out when pouring and just keep topping up the other ingredients to taste.
You can also use mustard as part of a marinade or when cooking to thicken meat or vegetable juices.
Yeah for mustard!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
From Becky, more ideas for GF/CF Sugar Free Diet
At The Autisn Treatment Center of America, we work with many children on specific diets. Here are some more ideas to keep cooking interesting for you and your kids.
Some food ideas that I use as my "Saving Grace" when following a gluten, casein and sugar free diet.
Coconut products.
Coconut oil - It's sweet, creamy and delicious and can be used in marinades for meat and vegetables, to saute with or in cakes or breads.
Coconut milk - when cooking rice, substitute half or all the water with coconut milk to make for a delicious variation on plain rice.
Unsweetened coconut flakes or shredded coconut. I use the shredded kind as a subtitute for grated cheese, fantastic sprinkled on top of meat sauce.
If your child likes breadcrumb procucts, such as chicken nuggets, dip the chicken pieces in egg first, then almond or soy flour, and finally shredded coconut before baking or shallow frying. You can also use it to coat fish.
Enjoy
Some food ideas that I use as my "Saving Grace" when following a gluten, casein and sugar free diet.
Coconut products.
Coconut oil - It's sweet, creamy and delicious and can be used in marinades for meat and vegetables, to saute with or in cakes or breads.
Coconut milk - when cooking rice, substitute half or all the water with coconut milk to make for a delicious variation on plain rice.
Unsweetened coconut flakes or shredded coconut. I use the shredded kind as a subtitute for grated cheese, fantastic sprinkled on top of meat sauce.
If your child likes breadcrumb procucts, such as chicken nuggets, dip the chicken pieces in egg first, then almond or soy flour, and finally shredded coconut before baking or shallow frying. You can also use it to coat fish.
Enjoy
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Revelling in the Little Things
From Kelli Pallett: Hi all, I never thought when Jordyn was born that he would teach me so much - about myself, about love, about being grateful, patient, and accepting.
I woke up this morning as my 6 yr old son climbed into bed, and layed right on top of me, grabbed my face, smiled, and said "tickle tickle". We then spent a good 20-30 minutes laying there, tickling, kissing, gazing in each others eyes. And I was so grateful and full of love. There was no where else to be, and nothing else to do than be in those moments with him. Doesn't sound like such a big deal until you know that this little guy was so in his own world when he was 2.5 that he hardly acknowledged us.
It got me thinking of all the little things that I've learned from this little guy.
To name just a few:
- being grateful for our profound connection vs. taking it for granted;
- for slowing life down and teaching me to revel in each and every achievement that we have together - smelling the roses that we have rather than seeing and dwelling on what could be perceived as missing;
- for teaching me to really love and accept myself for who I am, and others for who they are - that we are all doing the best we can with the beliefs that we have
- for challenging me to grow beyond my own limits and boundaries and question what I thought were my limits.
I could go on in detail, with a few of the specifics like Jordyn saying "orange" this morning as he picked up an orange marker and handed it to me (something new), or putting his plate from breakfast back on the counter without being asked, or expressing his wants with passion and persistence, or me sharing myself in this blog, ... all the little miracles add up.
It is opening our hearts to the many little things that make the biggest difference on this journey. I'd love to hear what you are grateful for.
With love and gratitude -
Kelli
What's my body saying?
From Kate Wilde: Another game from the Autism Treatment Center of America!
This game is called, "What's my body saying?" and is designed to help our children on the Autism Spectrum read social cues. To understand not only what we are saying with our verbal comminucation, but what our gestures, facile expressions and internation are communicating.
There are two versions of this game, one about simple gestures and facial expressions, and one to help with more complex social cues, such as sarcasm.
Just click on the video below, or if you are on face book right now, click on the title of this post then on "view original post" then on the video itself.
enjoy!
With love to you all
Kate
This game is called, "What's my body saying?" and is designed to help our children on the Autism Spectrum read social cues. To understand not only what we are saying with our verbal comminucation, but what our gestures, facile expressions and internation are communicating.
There are two versions of this game, one about simple gestures and facial expressions, and one to help with more complex social cues, such as sarcasm.
Just click on the video below, or if you are on face book right now, click on the title of this post then on "view original post" then on the video itself.
enjoy!
With love to you all
Kate
Monday, December 14, 2009
Love
From Kate Wilde: Today, as we do every Monday, the Son-Rise Program Intensive staff got together and did a guided visualization. The subject of our visualization is the Frederick family. They are here this week attending the Son-Rise Program Intensive with their five year old son with Autism.
We have yet to met them, but even before we do we have sat down held hands and opened our hearts to them. Setting our intention to offer them our love and acceptance first, and our knowledge second. Knowing that this is the most important thing we can do. That it is our love that will be the most powerful in helping facilitate any changes that they are wanting for themselves and their son.
As we hold hands together and send them this love, we grow stronger as a team, united by the clarity of a single vision, that no matter the situation, love is the answer.
Another week of joining, challenging, theme making, feedback, dialogs, and answering questions lies before us.
What lies before you and what will be your underlying intention as you spring into action?
Much love to you
Kate
We have yet to met them, but even before we do we have sat down held hands and opened our hearts to them. Setting our intention to offer them our love and acceptance first, and our knowledge second. Knowing that this is the most important thing we can do. That it is our love that will be the most powerful in helping facilitate any changes that they are wanting for themselves and their son.
As we hold hands together and send them this love, we grow stronger as a team, united by the clarity of a single vision, that no matter the situation, love is the answer.
Another week of joining, challenging, theme making, feedback, dialogs, and answering questions lies before us.
What lies before you and what will be your underlying intention as you spring into action?
Much love to you
Kate
Friday, December 11, 2009
Son-Rise Program Start Up
From Kate Wilde: It is Friday and we have just finished our Son-Rise Start Up Program here on property at The Autism Treatment Center of America.
We had 61 parents and professionals attend from America, Australia, Sweden, Brazil, England, Canada and South Africa. All united by one thing, having someone they love on the Autistic spectrum.
It was so inspiring to hear their stories, learn about their children and to see their transformation as they took in the attitudinal perspectives and the concrete techniques that the Son-Rise Program has to offer. The youngest child represented was one years old, the oldest were 23 year old twins.
Parents came in on Monday morning, feeling scared for their child's future, lost as to how to help them and judgmental of themselves for not "being good enough" for their children. It is Friday and in the last class there was much relaxed laughter in the room. This came from the knowledge that they are not alone in this journey with their children, they now have 60 other supporters and friends in their life who are on the same journey, and the road map for their children, which is the Son-Rise Program with its developmental model and attitudinal perspectives.
They left with the confidence that they can help their children, and an action plan on how to do so.
I send thanks and great love and good thoughts to everyone I met durin the 2009 December Son-Rise Program Start Up.
With much love
Kate
We had 61 parents and professionals attend from America, Australia, Sweden, Brazil, England, Canada and South Africa. All united by one thing, having someone they love on the Autistic spectrum.
It was so inspiring to hear their stories, learn about their children and to see their transformation as they took in the attitudinal perspectives and the concrete techniques that the Son-Rise Program has to offer. The youngest child represented was one years old, the oldest were 23 year old twins.
Parents came in on Monday morning, feeling scared for their child's future, lost as to how to help them and judgmental of themselves for not "being good enough" for their children. It is Friday and in the last class there was much relaxed laughter in the room. This came from the knowledge that they are not alone in this journey with their children, they now have 60 other supporters and friends in their life who are on the same journey, and the road map for their children, which is the Son-Rise Program with its developmental model and attitudinal perspectives.
They left with the confidence that they can help their children, and an action plan on how to do so.
I send thanks and great love and good thoughts to everyone I met durin the 2009 December Son-Rise Program Start Up.
With much love
Kate
From Becky: Gluten, Casein and Sugar Free Treats!
From Becky: Is your child, or your family on a Gluten, Casein and Sugar free diet?, if so, here are some yummy treats that you can make if you or your child have a sweet tooth.
Orange Pudding
1 cup of pureed cooked carrots
1 cup of pureed cooked pears
1 tablespoon of nut butter (almond or cashew)
Blend together and enjoy
Green Pudding
1 ripe avocado
1 ripe banana
1 tablespoon nut butter (almond or cashew)
1 teaspoon of honey (optional)
Blend together and enjoy
Delicious!
Orange Pudding
1 cup of pureed cooked carrots
1 cup of pureed cooked pears
1 tablespoon of nut butter (almond or cashew)
Blend together and enjoy
Green Pudding
1 ripe avocado
1 ripe banana
1 tablespoon nut butter (almond or cashew)
1 teaspoon of honey (optional)
Blend together and enjoy
Delicious!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
From Jack: Best Friends JOIN!!
From Jack: Hullo friends!
I want to share with you a beautiful story from an outreach I did with the cutest little boy this weekend. We played together, we giggled together, we smiled together but predominantly we ISMED together. In my morning session, this adorable little guy was exclusive for nearly 2 hours and 20 minutes out of our 2 and a half hour session. I just totally enjoyed getting to know him in this deep beautiful way - expressing my love and acceptance of him by joining in his exclusive behaviors and showing him how easy and controllable I was.
We then took a break for lunch and, while I was eating, my new friend was constantly pulling on my sleeve, begging me to come back upstairs to play with him some more!
You know what I love about this? I really hadn't spent much time actually playing. But I really believe that the love and acceptance of my joining, the knowledge that he could just be himself, inspired this little boy to think of me as a wonderful friend and to beg me to spend more time with him. How beautiful is that?
When we are joining our special children, we are helping them in the most profound way. We are showing them that we are the sorts of friends who would learn to love anything and everything they love, do whatever they want to do, go to the ends of the earth to be like them and show them how perfect they are.
Now, who doesn't want a friend like that?
Huge love
Jack
I want to share with you a beautiful story from an outreach I did with the cutest little boy this weekend. We played together, we giggled together, we smiled together but predominantly we ISMED together. In my morning session, this adorable little guy was exclusive for nearly 2 hours and 20 minutes out of our 2 and a half hour session. I just totally enjoyed getting to know him in this deep beautiful way - expressing my love and acceptance of him by joining in his exclusive behaviors and showing him how easy and controllable I was.
We then took a break for lunch and, while I was eating, my new friend was constantly pulling on my sleeve, begging me to come back upstairs to play with him some more!
You know what I love about this? I really hadn't spent much time actually playing. But I really believe that the love and acceptance of my joining, the knowledge that he could just be himself, inspired this little boy to think of me as a wonderful friend and to beg me to spend more time with him. How beautiful is that?
When we are joining our special children, we are helping them in the most profound way. We are showing them that we are the sorts of friends who would learn to love anything and everything they love, do whatever they want to do, go to the ends of the earth to be like them and show them how perfect they are.
Now, who doesn't want a friend like that?
Huge love
Jack
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
From Kate Wilde: Making a difference
From Kate Wilde: Hi everyone, I was inspired by Kelli's blog to write this blog. First of all thank you Kelli for writing your blog, I do not think we can ever estimate the far reaching effects of what we do. You have made a difference by writing this blog, everything we do makes a difference in the world.
You can easily see that your blog has inspired me to write this blog, that is concrete as I am telling you this, but there are also many many other thing it has inspired that you will never know. Maybe the President will see it and decide to fund The Son-Rise Program for all parents who wish to use it with their autistic children in the USA. Maybe you have helped a person in Africa have the courage to ask for help with their child. Maybe someone has read it and it has sparked some hope of the possibility that they could change themselves and do what is difficult for them.
I believe that each of our acts have 1000's of consequences, the only question is when and how do we want to act. Do we want to hold out our hands and offer help, or judge another or ourselves as wrong?
You offered your hand out to help, and only great things can come from that.
Love to you all
Kate
You can easily see that your blog has inspired me to write this blog, that is concrete as I am telling you this, but there are also many many other thing it has inspired that you will never know. Maybe the President will see it and decide to fund The Son-Rise Program for all parents who wish to use it with their autistic children in the USA. Maybe you have helped a person in Africa have the courage to ask for help with their child. Maybe someone has read it and it has sparked some hope of the possibility that they could change themselves and do what is difficult for them.
I believe that each of our acts have 1000's of consequences, the only question is when and how do we want to act. Do we want to hold out our hands and offer help, or judge another or ourselves as wrong?
You offered your hand out to help, and only great things can come from that.
Love to you all
Kate
From Kelli Pallett: Anchoring New Beliefs
From Kelli Pallett: It was just a few weeks ago that we attended Son-Rise Wide Awake, and boy what a week. I left "wide awake" to, and ready to take on, all the areas of my life where I wasn't joyfully happy, fully at ease, and being a force of nature. I left that Friday feeling completely at peace, being powerful and unshakeable in what I'm committed to. I declared that I would blog on the Autism Treatment of America (TM) site as an action to keep those feelings alive and myself tapped into them. So here is my first blog.
I thought, that'll be great, I'll just share what is happening in our program, what I'm feeling, and what I'm creating... easy peasy and I get to fulfill on making a difference along the way. Well, somewhere between my declaration, getting set up on the blog, and the ensuing life that happened my identity kicked in. Rather than the freedom I felt to just share whatever my thoughts were in Wide Awake, I started to think what is the "right" thing to share, and what might people think. I began to get concerned for would my blog make as big a difference as Kate's or Jack's or Becky's. These are all VERY familiar thoughts... and definitely not the peace, power, and unshakeableness I'd been feeling.
Luckily, I had created THIS very action, this promise to contribute, and I thought "ah ha" this is the VERY thing to share. It's SO perfect... and it is what I'm thinking, feeling, and creating. I'm creating this opportunity to blog as an unabashed expression of my love for the Son-Rise Program® and the Option Process®, and a place where I can celebrate my triumphs over my disempowering beliefs, and make a difference... how perfect. I'm peaceful, powerful, and unshakeable!
What actions are you taking to anchor the new beliefs that you have adopted?
From Becky: This Dog is an Inspiration!
From Becky: Working at The Autism Treatment Center of America, I see examples again and again of our special children doing things that their families have been told they will never do (e.g. saying their first word at 9 years old, saying "Mommy I love you!", doing imagination play, or taking a first step).
Because I believe anything is possible, I am continually being sent emails and videos by people who have like-minded attitudes and want to share their stories of persistence and hope.
Check out this video about a dog and its owner's experience doing just that.
Because I believe anything is possible, I am continually being sent emails and videos by people who have like-minded attitudes and want to share their stories of persistence and hope.
Check out this video about a dog and its owner's experience doing just that.
Monday, December 7, 2009
From Kate Wilde: Conversations
From Kate Wilde: The other day a friend of mine celebrated me for being a good conversationalist, which would make sense as I have spent the last 17 years here at The Autism Treatment Center of America helping lots of children and adults on the autism spectrum understand how to have conversations. We are always analysing conversations and discussing how we can make this process easier for our Autistic children.
Highly verbal children on the Autism Spectrum , may be able to easily ask for what they want using complex sentences, answer questions and ask questions, but what they are not efficient in is the art of social conversations, which can result in their peers not wanting to hang out with them.
As adults we may start a conversation with a question, and ask some during our conversation, but a lot of other things happen to make it an interesting conversation. We share our stories from our past, our hopes for the future. we comment on another persons story, we share a related story. we share our opinion about what another person has just said. When we only ask questions we are not fully having a conversation, we are just information gathering, conversation is a little more.
Things you can do right now to help your children become better at social conversations would be to:
1. Decrease the amount of questions you ask your child.
2. Increase sharing your own experiences and stories of things that have happened to you during your day and your life time with your child.
3. Leave pauses during your stories for your child to ask for more information, and share their own opinion of what you are sharing with them.
4.Share your own opinion about things, what are your favorite things, which movies do your like, where do you want to travel to and why. Then pause again and see if your child responds to your sharing.
Have fun being a conversationalist with your child!
Much Love to you all
Kate
Highly verbal children on the Autism Spectrum , may be able to easily ask for what they want using complex sentences, answer questions and ask questions, but what they are not efficient in is the art of social conversations, which can result in their peers not wanting to hang out with them.
As adults we may start a conversation with a question, and ask some during our conversation, but a lot of other things happen to make it an interesting conversation. We share our stories from our past, our hopes for the future. we comment on another persons story, we share a related story. we share our opinion about what another person has just said. When we only ask questions we are not fully having a conversation, we are just information gathering, conversation is a little more.
Things you can do right now to help your children become better at social conversations would be to:
1. Decrease the amount of questions you ask your child.
2. Increase sharing your own experiences and stories of things that have happened to you during your day and your life time with your child.
3. Leave pauses during your stories for your child to ask for more information, and share their own opinion of what you are sharing with them.
4.Share your own opinion about things, what are your favorite things, which movies do your like, where do you want to travel to and why. Then pause again and see if your child responds to your sharing.
Have fun being a conversationalist with your child!
Much Love to you all
Kate
Sunday, December 6, 2009
From Alison: Loving the joining
From Alison: One of the key parts of any Son Rise program playroom session is the Joining of our child's exclusive or repetitious behaviour, here's how that looks in my sessions with my son Jordan.
So I am in the playroom and we have just played a game, now Jordan wants some alone time. He starts to walk in circles around the edge of the room muttering to himself under his breath so quietly that I can hear that he is speaking, but can't hear what he is saying. I walk with him on the opposite side of the room and mutter softly to myself too. Jordan interrupts his monologue with "Mummy will be quiet" as I am distracting him with my mumblings. So now I walk as gently and quietly as I can so as not to disturb him and I stop speaking. But I still want to join him as closely as I can, but not audibly, as I want to demonstrate my love for him and my acceptance of his choice of activity. So, in my head, I continue my own discussion.
It is at this point that I like to focus on what I want for myself and Jordan. In my head I am saying over and over 'I love you and I want to play with you, I love you and I want to play with you'. Then I use a visualisation to put that idea out into the room, so with every breath that I exhale I imagine that I am blowing up a huge balloon that fills the playroom with love and playfulness. Or with every breath I imagine blowing out a little playful butterfly that will fly around the room and fill it with love, laughter and playfulness. Another one that I like is, if I feel my level of 3 E's dropping is to imagine blowing out some little clowns who will bounce around the room doing some fun slapstick antics.
I make up that these visualisations have an effect on the amount of interaction between us. They definately help me focus on my love for Jordan and how much I want him to connect with me. How does joining look in your playroom?
So I am in the playroom and we have just played a game, now Jordan wants some alone time. He starts to walk in circles around the edge of the room muttering to himself under his breath so quietly that I can hear that he is speaking, but can't hear what he is saying. I walk with him on the opposite side of the room and mutter softly to myself too. Jordan interrupts his monologue with "Mummy will be quiet" as I am distracting him with my mumblings. So now I walk as gently and quietly as I can so as not to disturb him and I stop speaking. But I still want to join him as closely as I can, but not audibly, as I want to demonstrate my love for him and my acceptance of his choice of activity. So, in my head, I continue my own discussion.
It is at this point that I like to focus on what I want for myself and Jordan. In my head I am saying over and over 'I love you and I want to play with you, I love you and I want to play with you'. Then I use a visualisation to put that idea out into the room, so with every breath that I exhale I imagine that I am blowing up a huge balloon that fills the playroom with love and playfulness. Or with every breath I imagine blowing out a little playful butterfly that will fly around the room and fill it with love, laughter and playfulness. Another one that I like is, if I feel my level of 3 E's dropping is to imagine blowing out some little clowns who will bounce around the room doing some fun slapstick antics.
I make up that these visualisations have an effect on the amount of interaction between us. They definately help me focus on my love for Jordan and how much I want him to connect with me. How does joining look in your playroom?
Friday, December 4, 2009
From Becky: Prime of My Life!
From Becky: Today it is my 35th birthday! Recently I was having a conversation with one of my close friends about how my birthday was coming up and it wasn't a big deal. My friend said "Don't you ever say that it's not a big deal! Your birthday is the day you were born and that's a very BIG DEAL!!!"
From that moment, I realized that by saying that I was playing myself down and making myself small and irrelevant which is how I lived most of my life up until coming the work at The Autism Treatment Center of America. I changed my attitude in an instant.
So today I am going to celebrate celebrate celebrate! It is really something that I am here, I am alive and I was born!
It matters that I choose happiness everyday when so many people around me are choosing anger, hate and discomfort.
It is a big deal that I have helped so many families reach their special children over the years and that I have inspired children to stretch and grow in unimaginable ways.
It is important that I have challenged so many beliefs, and changed the ones that weren't working for me anymore, even when I thought for sure that I wasn't able to.
And most of all, I am extremely grateful to myself for being my own biggest teacher.
I am in the prime of my life! Some may think that being in your twenties is being in the prime of your life. As I turn 35 today, I am living my life in a bigger way than I ever have.
When I was thirty, I began my journey at The Autism Treatment Center of America, and began an incredible adventure, an adventure of love, acceptance and hope. Why would I want to be younger when I have so much more today?
I encourage you all to celebrate yourselves for being born today! You matter and you are a big deal!
From that moment, I realized that by saying that I was playing myself down and making myself small and irrelevant which is how I lived most of my life up until coming the work at The Autism Treatment Center of America. I changed my attitude in an instant.
So today I am going to celebrate celebrate celebrate! It is really something that I am here, I am alive and I was born!
It matters that I choose happiness everyday when so many people around me are choosing anger, hate and discomfort.
It is a big deal that I have helped so many families reach their special children over the years and that I have inspired children to stretch and grow in unimaginable ways.
It is important that I have challenged so many beliefs, and changed the ones that weren't working for me anymore, even when I thought for sure that I wasn't able to.
And most of all, I am extremely grateful to myself for being my own biggest teacher.
I am in the prime of my life! Some may think that being in your twenties is being in the prime of your life. As I turn 35 today, I am living my life in a bigger way than I ever have.
When I was thirty, I began my journey at The Autism Treatment Center of America, and began an incredible adventure, an adventure of love, acceptance and hope. Why would I want to be younger when I have so much more today?
I encourage you all to celebrate yourselves for being born today! You matter and you are a big deal!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
From Kate Wilde: Memory
From Kate Wilde: Today Bryn Hogan and I were having dinner with some wonderful people. A part from being Son-Rise Program teachers together, and working along side each other at The Autism Treatment Center of America, we have also been best friends for the last 17 years.
At dinner, Bryn was telling the story of her wedding to William Hogan, (also a Son-Rise Program teacher ), as she was relaying this story she mentioned something that she and I had done at her wedding.
The interesting thing about this is that not only did I not attend their wedding, I did not even know them then. Because we have been friends so long she actually "photo shopped" me into her memory of her wedding. So for her I actually attended.
What this means is that our past does not exist, just what we make up about it. As Bryn did, you can change your past to be anything you want it to be. We are actually in charge of how we remember our past.
So it raises the question what do you want the memory of yourself to be?
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
From Kate Wilde and Bryn Hogan: Letting Go
From Kate Wilde and Bryn Hogan:
On our ride to the airport this morning we were discussing the topic of 'letting go'. We were reflecting on all the parents we work with using The Son-Rise Program who want so much for their children and their families. They want with passion and a deep desire to make a difference.
At the same time, there is sometimes a struggle between these strong wants and the 'need' for our children to change, to grow in the ways and at the speed we want them to. We have found ourselves, in relation to Jade and Malik(Bryn and William Hogans children) becoming attached to the outcome, wanting them to gain a skill, learn a lesson or grow in what we see as an important direction.
Yet, we came back to, as we have so many times before to the knowledge that we have to always balance our wants with a strong ability to 'let go'. To not push. To not 'need' them to perform to our standards.
But to allow them to blossom, to fall down, to go slowly, to not learn, to even resist...and to love them as they do so. (Sometimes we even resist their resistance - how useful is that?). So, we're left, as with everything in the Son-Rise Program, with love.
To any question, in any situation, love is always the answer. When we 'let go', love is all that's left.
Love to all
Kate and Bryn
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
From Becky: Being Present!
From Becky: Recently I flew to Houston, TX to work with a beautiful Mother and her son for the weekend using The Son-Rise Program.
One of the principles of The Son-Rise Program is to be present when we are working with our children in the playroom so that we are comfortable and super aware of how to help them. Being present is something I have practised over the years but I do not always choose it outside of the playroom.
One area where I don't typically choose to be present is when I am travelling. On this flight to Houston, I had a long journey ahead of me, getting up at 3am to get on a flight and then a connecting flight to my destination.
Usually when I'm flying, there comes a point that I start living in the past or the future (e.g. "I wish I had got a window seat", "I hope we get there soon", etc).
As I sat on my 3 hour flight from Washington Dulles to Houston, there was nothing but the present moment. I decided to focus on the here and now and embrace each moment that came. I sat for three hours, allowing nothing else to come into my mind about what was going to happen next, or what had already happened.
Our children are so present, they find joy in the simplest things (e.g. shaking a drumstick, eating, pacing back and fourth, etc). There is nowhere for them to be, nothing else for them to do.
As I sat being present for that extended period of time, I came to a place of complete peace and as a result of that I had a great experience, instead of an "OK" one.
One of the principles of The Son-Rise Program is to be present when we are working with our children in the playroom so that we are comfortable and super aware of how to help them. Being present is something I have practised over the years but I do not always choose it outside of the playroom.
One area where I don't typically choose to be present is when I am travelling. On this flight to Houston, I had a long journey ahead of me, getting up at 3am to get on a flight and then a connecting flight to my destination.
Usually when I'm flying, there comes a point that I start living in the past or the future (e.g. "I wish I had got a window seat", "I hope we get there soon", etc).
As I sat on my 3 hour flight from Washington Dulles to Houston, there was nothing but the present moment. I decided to focus on the here and now and embrace each moment that came. I sat for three hours, allowing nothing else to come into my mind about what was going to happen next, or what had already happened.
Our children are so present, they find joy in the simplest things (e.g. shaking a drumstick, eating, pacing back and fourth, etc). There is nowhere for them to be, nothing else for them to do.
As I sat being present for that extended period of time, I came to a place of complete peace and as a result of that I had a great experience, instead of an "OK" one.
From Kate Wilde: There is more you can do.
From Kate Wilde:
Yesterday I answered the phone in our book store, it was a Mom of a 10 year old autistic boy. She was calling because a couple of weeks ago her school had called her up to tell her that they wanted her 10 year old son to go on psychotic drugs. Why? Because they did not know how to handle his sometimes "aggressive behaviour".
So their solution was to drug him, to sedate him so that he does no "bother" them anymore. No concern for this boy's quality of life or the side effects of giving a young child such powerful drugs.
Here at The Autism Treatment Center of America when a child is kicking, pushing, hitting biting etc, we ask ourselves the following questions:
Why are they doing this?
What are they trying to tell us?
What can we do to change OUR behaviour to help this child change theirs?
Once we understand why our children are doing this then we apply a whole host of easy effective techniques to help them choose a different way of communicating.
If your child is being aggressive click on the link below which will take to you a blog about the common reasons why a child might be aggressive.
http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/blog/2009/10/intense-energy.php
Then click on this other link that will take you to a webinar on how the Son-Rise Program helps children who have challenging behaviour.
http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/media:video,22,0
If your school system or the care home is telling you that your child has to go on drugs because of his aggressive behaviour, think again, there is another way to help your child, it is called The Son-Rise Program.
We want to help you and your child.
With love
Kate
Yesterday I answered the phone in our book store, it was a Mom of a 10 year old autistic boy. She was calling because a couple of weeks ago her school had called her up to tell her that they wanted her 10 year old son to go on psychotic drugs. Why? Because they did not know how to handle his sometimes "aggressive behaviour".
So their solution was to drug him, to sedate him so that he does no "bother" them anymore. No concern for this boy's quality of life or the side effects of giving a young child such powerful drugs.
Here at The Autism Treatment Center of America when a child is kicking, pushing, hitting biting etc, we ask ourselves the following questions:
Why are they doing this?
What are they trying to tell us?
What can we do to change OUR behaviour to help this child change theirs?
Once we understand why our children are doing this then we apply a whole host of easy effective techniques to help them choose a different way of communicating.
If your child is being aggressive click on the link below which will take to you a blog about the common reasons why a child might be aggressive.
http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/blog/2009/10/intense-energy.php
Then click on this other link that will take you to a webinar on how the Son-Rise Program helps children who have challenging behaviour.
http://www.autismtreatmentcenter.org/media:video,22,0
If your school system or the care home is telling you that your child has to go on drugs because of his aggressive behaviour, think again, there is another way to help your child, it is called The Son-Rise Program.
We want to help you and your child.
With love
Kate
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