An Extraordinary Celebration

Imagine this... A little girl diagnosed with autism celebrates her 6th birthday - and for the first time in her life is able to have a party with friends - and is completely indistinguishable from her peers - participating typically in every moment of the party. What a special birthday to celebrate!

Elizabeth is an amazing little girl with sparkly eyes who happens to love everything to do with the magic of fairies. She has an amazing little smile and she invites you in to play with her with such joy and delight - telling you all about her fairies and asking you which one is your favorite, and playing with you with such flexibility and ease.

Three years ago, when I first met Elizabeth's family - she spent most of her time playing alone - inflexible and rigid about what she would play, using only enough language to communicate her basic wants and not demonstrating any interest in her peers.

After two years of a home-based Son-Rise Program, she started school this year - and now has so many friends that she had to be convinced that she had room to invite her sister to her birthday party. For two hours, Elizabeth played games with her friends (in a big room full of carnival-type games), talked to her friends, participated in hitting the pinata, held her friend's hand while in line for a game, opened all of her presents and thanked each of her friends. It was a truly special day.


And now - Elizabeth talks non-stop about how fun the party was.

So, as Elizabeth blows out the candles on her birthday cake, I am sending a wish to each of you - that you find something extraordinary to celebrate in your children today.

10 Variations for Snack

This week we are working in "The Son-Rise Program" intensive with a gorgeous five year old boy who is very motivated for food.

Here are 10 things you can do to vary the game as you give your child snacks from the shelf.

1) Put each piece of food into a toy bus/car/train/ambulance and deliver it to your child using a fun sound effect that goes with the vehicle you are using.

2) Wear a hat with the top cut off and a bowl of your child's favorite snack inside of it, you can work on eye contact as you bring each piece down.

3) Use fun puppets to bring each piece of snack down to your child.

4) Invite your child take your hands and dance to the shelf together to get the food. Experiment with dancing in different styles (e.g. rock and roll, ballet, etc).

5) Throw a tea party and serve up your childs snacks and drinks bit by bit using plastic cups and plates.

6) Bring each snack down for your child in a different way each time (e.g. fly it down, bounce it down, wobble it down, etc).

7) Bring two pieces of food down and hide them behind your back in both hands. invite your child to pick the hand he wants to get the corresponding snack.

8) Cut out circles from construction paper and tape them to the floor, pretend they are giant stepping stones or lilly pads that the two of you have to jump across to get to the food. Play around with pretending to fall into the water to lengthen the game.

9) Place strips of Artist's tape across the floor to the shelf pretending it's a train track. You are the "eat train" which gives your child rides to the shelf and back with the snacks being your fuel to keep you both going.

10) Pretend that each time you touch the different snacks they make you do fun, slapstick actions (e.g. fall over, get the hiccups, start giggling, etc).

Have fun with food!

What's Most Important

This morning as I was getting the kids 'out the door' for school, we were rushing. My son couldn't find his cleats, the trash bag broke on the floor and we were rushing. I was focused on getting things done, on meeting my deadline to get them to school. I was focused on this until my daughter Jade said, "Mom" and she took my hand. I went to her and then, while holding my hand she said, "Dad, come here" and he came over. She put her arms around both of us and pulled us into a three way embrace. We stood in the kitchen, holding each other. She kissed my cheek and my husband kissed her head. We all looked at each other and smiled.

Then, I couldn't remember why I'd been rushing. I did though remember why my daughter would have thought for us to take this moment together. I remembered all the hours and days and weeks and years we spent in her Son-Rise Program playroom, working with her, helping her to 'come out' of her Autism. We focused not on 'getting things done' but on love and kindness, on hugs and sharing. Today, no longer having any Autism, my daughter is a living example of all we did then, and a daily reminder of what is actually most important.

Bryn

Be Silly

Hello Again!
There at The Autism Treatment Center of America being silly is on the menu everyday.

All children whether they are on the Autism Spectrum or not can be touched and reached by silliness.

Silliness knows no bounds -when we are silly there is no right or wrong, good or bad, just a delight in what is.

A desire to reach out, and play with the gifts that life has given us.

Click on the video below, (or if you are on Facebook, click on the title of this blog, then on "View Original Post" which will take you to the video) for a little bit of silly inspiration, the Son-Rise Program way.

Much love to you and your lovely children.
Kate

What Your Soul Sings

I recently came across the lyrics to a song that really touched me. Since working at The Autism Treatment Center of America, I have learned to be more authentic, to listen to my inner voice and follow my heart and most importantly to love myself. Enjoy.

What Your Soul Sings

Don't be afraid
Open your mouth and say
Say what your soul sings to you
Your mind can never change
Unless you ask it to
Lovingly re-arrange
The thoughts that make you blue
The things that bring you down
Only do harm to you
So make your choice joy
The joy belongs to you
And when you do
You'll find the one you love is you
You'll find you love you

Don't be ashamed
To open your heart and pray
Say what your soul sings
To you
So no longer pretend
That you can't feel it near
That tickle on your head
That tingle in your ear
Oh ask it anything
Because it loves you dear
It's your most precious king
If only you could hear
And when you do
You'll find the one you need is you
You'll find you love you

The SON-RISE LIFE!!!

Enjoy this wonderful song written and performed with delight and enthusiasm by our Son-Rise Program Maximum Impact participants.



At our Son-Rise Program Advanced Training courses, each parent learns nitty-gritty specifics of how to help their child (or "children" as a number of the parents you see singing have 2 autistic children) but more importantly get re-energised, re-inspired and motivated for the next step in their Son-Rise Program journey.

I hope you enjoy this song as I did when they first sang it to me before starting class one day.

Smiles and celebrations

William

Tantrums, Take Four

Your child is throwing a big tantrum, they are putting their heart and soul into it, believing that this is the thing that will move you. You are putting into effect the Son-Rise Program attitude.

• You comfort is not reliant on your child stopping their tantrum.
• You feel calm and easy and are enjoying your child even as he tantrums
• You marvel at his attempts to communicate and his mighty persistence.

You put a few of the highly effective Son-Rise Program techniques into effect.

• You explain to him that crying will not get him what he wants.
• That you cannot understand him as well when he cries and screams.
• You let him know that he can cry all he wants but it won't change the situation.
• You try and be helpful by offering him things ......SLOWLY.
• If you cannot get him the thing that he is wanting you offer an alternative .......SLOWLY.

But still he cries, screams and yells with all of his mighty intensity and persistence.

What to do???? Stay the course! Do not give up. Let your child know that you can keep your awesome attitude longer than he can keep up his tantrum.

After you have tried some version of the above techniques of being slowly helpful to your child, let your child know that you have tried everything you know to be helpful to him, and that know you are going to go play by yourself, and that he can continue to cry if he wants. Then go over to the corner of the room and start to play by yourself. Pick something to play with that you know your child likes, and then sincerely play this by yourself. It is not about trying to get your child to play with you, it is about communicating to your child that you have moved on, so have fun playing by yourself. When we do this what we often see here At the Autism Treatment Center of America is that the children may still cry for a while, but after a while ( which is different with very child) they either stop crying and start playing by themselves, or they come over and start playing with you. Either way your are communicating to your child that their tantrum no longer has currency with you.

For some of your children using crying as way to communicate has been effective with you for a long time. Thus they may stay invested in it for a while because of their history of it working with you. Keep yourself invested in really doing these techniques and attitudes for as long as it takes for your child to get through his use of the crying.

Sending much love to you and your children today.

Kate

It's All About Attitude

At The Son-Rise Program we choose to believe that anything is possible for out children. Check out this amazing video about how the attitude you have greatly affects the experience you have in life.

Learning

Here at the Autism Treatment Center of America we work with children on the Autism Spectrum who have many challenges doing every day things that us neuro-typical folks take for granted. This week we have a great fun and feisty 4 year old boy with autism taking The Son-Rise Program Intensive.

The thing that is so impressive about him is his desire to learn. He is learning to speak, and is earnestly trying to form single words. He is so inspiring to me because he just tries and tries and then tries again. It is obvious that he finds this hard, it is challenging for him but that does not deter him. He is putting his whole heart and mind into it, and he is getting it.

How many times do we stop doing something just because it is not easy for us? When we learn new things, we are creating new path ways in our brains, or working new muscles in our bodies, thus it stands to reason that it may feel awkward to begin with, that it may feel strange, that we may not get it straight away. What would happen if we saw this as a sign of our capability to learn, instead of a sign that we cannot do?

Not only would this make learning fun, but would help us stay with something and therefore give us the opportunity to actually learn it.

Are you giving up on something just because it is not immediately easy for you?

Sending much love and thoughts your way today!

Kate

10 Variations for the Door

When working with children in The Son-Rise Program playroom there is one thing that happens quite often, especially when first transitioning the parents of the child. That is, the child goes to the door, either tries to open it when it is locked, asks for Mummy and Daddy or says "Open the door".

The first thing to do is explain to the child that the door is going to be locked and exactly when the parents will be back. Sometimes, the child accepts that and drops it, other times, they continue to perseverate on the door.

Here are 10 things that you can do when your child does this.

1) Go on a hunt around the playroom to find the key, try different, fun things such as the tail of a toy dinosaur, the spout of a teapot, the whisker of a cat puppet, etc.

2) Get a pretend magic wand (e.g. a marker or drumstick) and create magic spells to cast on the door to see if it opens (e.g. "Hocus Pocus Diddly Deeze, make this door open with a sneeze").

3) Sing a song about the door.

4) Write a letter to Mom and Dad and post it under the door.

5) Try and crack the secret knocking code that opens the door (e.g. is it 2 quiet knock and one loud?, 3 short knocks and kiss?, etc).

6) Draw different keys, cut them out and try each one.

7) Pretend that the door knob is too slippery to grasp and entertain your child as you try to open it.

8) Line up all the toys in the playroom with you and your child at the front and try and pull the door open with all the toys helping you.

9) Pretend to be the person that your child is asking for by impersonating their voice, wearing a wig, etc, and giving them fun things in the way that person might (e.g. "I bet Daddy would tickle you like this.....", etc).

10) Brainstorm the things that your child might want that are outside the room and create them inside the playroom (e.g. if they want chips, make some pretend giant chips out of toy blocks, if the want Mom, offer them a hug, etc).

Generating Enthusiasm

Hi Everyone,

Today I want to share with you a short video clip that was sent to me. When I watched the clip, it reminded me of how wonderful it is to work at The Autism Treatment Center of America.

I am surrounded by a team of Teachers and Child Facilitators who are always choosing comfort over discomfort, always choosing fun and playfulness over seriousness and pressure, and always reaching for the thought that feels better.

This video is about encouraging people to be enthusiastic about taking the stairs instead of the escalator. Enjoy!

A Good Place to Start

An introduction to our life and how Riley with Autism and The Son-Rise Program changed it all!
This is an answer to a friends questions who is writing a research paper for college. I thought it might be a good place to start; tell the story.

Q1. What was life like for Riley prior to the realization that he had autism? How did you raise him prior to The Son-Rise program and did you have to make any changes (diet modifications, etc.)?

A1.The early stages of life for Riley were mostly normal, he was a stiff baby, cried a lot. Had only an affinity for me, no one else. He was developing normally accept for language, around 10 months after the MMR shots he completely lost the only word he had. "Ball". After that he became super stiff baby, needing to be held even more...there were days he was never out of my arms. His tears became normal, as if they were his only words, but were never accompanied by " mommy", never "daddy" never" I love you." He had to cover his eyes to go into the light, to go in to the dark he had to cover his ears to deal with all sound. It was around 14 months that I asked the pediatrician why he couldn't find his nose. I have 4 children they all could find their nose....but no nose...no ears, no eyes, no " mommy". So all of this plus much more....equaled no time for anything else, I couldn't leave him, we couldn't go anywhere....so we didn't. I worked full time until he was 1 year old...but it was too hard to leave him...so we stopped. Hard doesn't begin to describe it. When we had no tools to deal with or understanding of what or who he was. We were simply existing...and not doing too well I might add. At 2 we figured out the gluten-free/ casein-free diet, we were told by our lovely in-laws and my mother about Jenny McCarthy and we tried it! It was a miracle to behold - he held his Daddy's hand for the first time and he became less agitated. We also gave him cod liver oil consistently..noticed many good changes. He wore a weighted vest, and had a SPIO...both o these things seemed to give him the physical awareness he needed to be OK. Still couldn't go anywhere easily.

Q2. How did you end up hearing about The Son-Rise program? Did you express any concerns about the program, such as the way it was run or its cost?
A2. We read Jonathan Levy's book What You Can Do Right Now to Help Your Child with Autism. We read and re-read and had other family members read....it was our first Autism book. How lucky! And it shaped everything we did. Very simple, very gracious and respectful of you and your child. We did our free Initial Call with The Autism Treatment Center of America, and it went from there. We did several updates with our Family Counselor and finally she had me fill out the financial aid questionnaire. It'ss expensive - but no more than any other therapy we have tried. Floortime is about $140 a hour and no fully paid for by our insurance, we did it for many months and spent a couple thousand on that for way less hands on input about me or my child. Yes, I wish it were cheaper and closer to me - I would learn to be a Child Facilitator.. I would teach for them - its that great!

Q3. How long have you been a Son-Rise Program parent? What key changes have you seen in Riley since you have adopted The Son-Rise program?
A3. We started implementing The Son-Rise Program in October of 2007. I didn't make it to Start Up until June 2008. But we thought we were doing great with just the bit of book instruction we had. He went from 15 words at 2 years of age to 78 by that following June in 2008. It was when I returned from Start up that he blossomed to 350 words with in 2 weeks and now speaks any word he so desires....well over 2000 words now. His language though in need of maturity and time is fabulous!! This is The Son-Rise Program! Key changes - language, language, language!!!, his patience, the ability to go to a store or the library successfully, the ability to play with other children and accept them, ability to try new things (including new foods), and the ability to meet new people! Plus his tantrums are smaller, (although we do still have some). Life is just better here with The Son-Rise Program. The love and acceptance I have learned at The Autism Treatment Center Son-Rise is invaluable - they took care of me when I attended - they showed me the way!

Q4. What are Riley's interests, and how have you been able to tailor his Son-Rise Program experiences to recognize those interests?
A4. The key to breaking out of the box that Autism has put you in is your child's interests. What are your child's interests? Riley changes from time to time, but for example he used to love to shuffle through playing cards or flash cards. We would shuffle together, eventually he was able to slide them through a mail slot and make stacks, and even tell me what was on them. He loves reading, but he used to just like to tear through the pictures, he didn't have the fine motor to deal with the pages, so he ripped - that's what they are for right? We ripped many things together. Eventually we just looked at pages, then we read, then we pointed and he told me something of what they said or were. He liked pirates for a while and we played many pirate games, created ships and costumes...that really motivated him to say many new words! Use motivation to create games and play activities that bring you and your child together!!!

Q5. Who makes up your Son-Rise Program team? What part do you think that they play in preparing Riley for the rigors and unpredictability of the real world?
A5. Our team has expanded and disbanded many times and includes a variety of people. We have my daughter and myself and my husband...of course my other son who is only 5 to Riley's 4. So he is the number one therapist...he has taught Riley everything!!! He is the real motivator!! We have team members from Riley's school, this is the 3rd year we have had the director of the developmental preschool come to our home every week to play with Riley. We have had others that came in the past also. Real world happens here every day for us - his brother torments him him like any other brother, we go out now, we go to the library, the store we even visit school for 2 hours a week now. All this from the playroom activities - we have played store in there and helped Riley understand what happens after you are in a store - which was key for Riley - what the process is.... We go in we get this , we go stand in line we leave...practicing made that easy!

Q6. With most individuals forced to find treatments for autism on their own, do you think that programs like The Son-Rise Program would benefit from government assistance? Why or why not?
A6. I think it would be difficult to say that we couldn't use the ability for government support, the money would greatly help so many. But the ideas of The Son-Rise Program are so freeing.... how would a controlled entity not squelch that. Its so freeing being there....I'm not sure what would happen if they were "supported" by government funds.

Connection.

The Autism Treatment Center of America is rocking this week! We have two children here with their families doing the Son-Rise Program Intensive. We also have many parents from all over the world here to do Maximum Impact, an advanced week long Son-Rise Program.

I can feel the connections, learnings, love and delight that is happening as I walk about our campus! I want to send some of it out to all of you who are working so wonderfully in each of your Son-Rise Program Playrooms - and to everyone who is working with an Autistic child in any type of home program or school.

As you are working with your beautiful child ask yourself this question, "Am I connected with them right now, do I know what they are liking and where their attention is, or am I off on my own agenda and do not really have any sense whether my child is with me or not".

If your are connected to where your child is in that moment celebrate yourself, and keep on with what your are doing, for you are as close to them as you can be and on the path to helping your child get strong in creating relationships.

If the answer no, I am off my own agenda only concerned with the things I want, and I have no idea what my child is wanting or liking in this moment, then first celebrate yourself for noticing. Then take a step back, observe what it is your child is doing in the moment, decide to like it, then decide to love it and join in. By that I mean do exactly what your child is doing. This is the key to connecting with our chidlren and helping get strong in creating relationships with people.

Much love to all of you.
Kate

Seeing Autism as a Gift/Post From Bears

From Bears (Barry Neil Kaufman): Yesterday, while exercising, I watched a program on autism with comments by professionals and parents, all apparently doing ABA. Most of the folks interviewed appeared solemn and burdened by their situations. What a blessing for those of us who have learned (in The Son-Rise Program) to embrace our special children with autism and our other challenges as gifts and opportunities. Pass it on.

Intense Energy

Hello Again Everyone!

A parent asked me to write an article about 'Aggressive behaviour and Autism', so this is going to be the first in a series of thoughts on the subject. As always we here at the Autism Treatment Center of America believe that attitude is one the most important ingredients in successfully helping our wonderful friends on the Autism Spectrum. So this article will primarily be focusing on a perspective to adopt that is unique to The Son-Rise Program.

When a parent describes their child as 'aggressive' they mean that they are hitting, biting, scratching, pinching, pulling hair, spitting in peoples faces etc.

Below are a few of the most common thoughts that parents and professionals have expressed to me about how they feel and what they think their child is feeling when they do these behaviours.

"My child does not like me."

"My child wants to hurt me, he knows that it hurts me and he wants to see me hurt."

"I am so worried that my child will grow up to be an abuser of others."

"I am frightened of my child, I think he is mean."

"He seems to think it is funny , he likes hurting other people."

"He has no feelings at all, as he has no remorse of hurting me. Thus I think he must be an inherently bad person"

"He does not know that it is bad, I have to show him what is good behaviour and what is bad behaviour."

"He should know better."

In the dictionary 'Aggressive' is defined as follows:

"characterized by or tending toward unprovoked offensives, attacks, invasions, or the like; militantly forward or menacing: aggressive acts against a neighboring country.'

Here at The Autism Treatment Center of America we do not think that children are attacking us in an unprovoked manner as the word suggests, or that they are somehow inherently bad. Nor that they are mean and actually want to hurt other people. We believe that they are trying to take care of themselves in the only way they know. Thus we do not label this behaviour as 'aggressive', we call it "intense energy", because these words have none of the judgmental associations that the word 'aggressive' has and more accurately describes what is happening.

Your child may be taking care of themselves in this way for the following five reasons:

1.Sensory challenges.

Autistic children often times experience their senses in a very different way from nuero-typical people. They may have energy that is building up inside of themselves that they do not know how to successfully release. The action of biting, or pinching actually helps them to release this energy helping them organize themselves physically.

Signs that your child may be using biting and pinching to do this are:

Do they jump up and down intensely right before they bite/hit/pinch you? Have they been tensing up any part of their body more? Or have they just banged any part of their body more vigorously, either themselves, or on the floor or with an object?

2.They are communicating

Signs that your child may be using hitting/biting/scratching to communicate are as follows:

They pinch/hit/bite/punch right after you have told them that they cannot have something or they are having trouble making their wants understood.

What can happen is that people around them usually start to move faster and 'understand' more, the adult suddenly becomes more responsive because they want to avoid getting hit. Thus a child can start to think - 'ok so this is the way to get more of what I want , if to hit then everyone tries to understand me more.'

3.Self preservation and a gaining of control:

Most Autistic children have difficulty communicating their wants and desires to us nuero-typical people, and most nuero-typical people do not understand that autistic children have very different needs than nuero-typical children. Sometimes hitting and punching is the last resort some children use to gain much needed control in their lives.

For example I watched a very wonderful and well meaning Mother play with her 4 year old daughter named Ellie who has Aspergers. She was playing on the top of a slide with a collection of stuffed animals. She was very intently and exclusively talking to each of the animals and creating a story where the animals were bathing in a river. She was paying no attention to her Mother, only to her story and the stuffed animals. Her mom was wanting to get her child's attention, thus she kept trying to get in on the action. Firstly she moved really close to her daughter and said, 'Hey Ellie look I have a lovely duck, hey look, look the duck is so lovely.' Ellie did not respond in anyway, she kept playing on her own. Then trying harder to get Ellie's attention, she picks up one of the stuffed dogs that Ellie was playing with and moved it slightly making a 'woof' sound. Ellie takes the dog and places it again where it had been previously, all without looking at her mother. Then the Mom picks up the dog a second time and puts in on Ellie's head, to which her daughter takes it off and put it down where it had originally been, again without saying a word. Her Mom picks it up again and slides it playfully down the slide, to which her daughter looks at her says 'no' and then goes and picks up the dog and puts it where it was. Her Mom then picks up the dog and pretends that it is licking Ellie's face, to which Ellie pushes it away from her face and says no. Then her Mom takes the dogs and rocks it in her own arms, saying, 'oh this dog is so happy it wants to lick your feet.' To which the Ellie says 'no', and moves her feet underneath her so that her Mom cannot get them, then takes the dog away from her Mom and puts it in its original placing amongst the other stuffed animals. Her Mom then picks up the dog and makes the dog tickle Ellie's arm pit, to which Ellie takes the dog and pinches her Mom's arm.

At that point her Mom moves away from her and stops moving Ellie's animals.

When her Mom came out of the play room, she said to me - 'See that, I don't understand why she pinched me- it came right out of the blue.'

Often times we cannot see that we are actually in fringing on our children's need to create an ordered predictable and controllable world. This is very important for our children to feel a sense of safety in a world that is very confusing for them. So when this world is repeatedly interrupted by others who are trying to stop them from doing the very thing that is helping them, our children may feel a need to go to all measures to defend their own well being.

4.To get a reaction.

They may hit/pinch/spit to get a reaction from the adults around them. Sometimes this is the only time when the adults around them are lively and interesting and actually paying attention to them. For instance when our children are playing quietly in the living room either by themselves or with their siblings, we may be in the same room as them reading the newspaper or doing something else, paying no attention. But when someone gets hit/pinched etc we start to pay a lot of attention to the person who is doing the hitting. we may raise our voices, put on grave interesting facile expressions, wave our arms and hands around, and proceed to give a lecture. All of this may be the most animated we are at any point during the day. So if our children want our attention they may be doing this to get it.

5.Over medicated.

I am not a doctor nor any kind of medical professional, what I share here comes purely from my experience of working with over a 1000 different children and their families. We live in a world where medication is freely and widely given for a variety of different ailments. You only have to switch your TV on to see many adds for medications. Even just 10 years ago this was not the case.

I have worked with a few families whose children where experiencing a lot of intensive energy, having long outburst of screaming, hitting, biting, not only other people but themselves. These children also had been on 4-5 different medications for a long period of time - 4-5 years. Once these children where weaned of some of these medications with the help of their doctor, their bouts of intense energy disappeared - I do not feel that this was a coincidence.

The first thing for you to do is to identify which of the five reasons above fits your child. Don't be surprised if your child fits two or more of these categories, this is not unusual.

Then see if you can embrace the idea that your child is doing the best that they can to take care of themselves, that they are not being bad or mean.

Then look for more articles. Over the next couple of weeks I will write about actions you can take in each of these circumstances that will help you help your children to use another way to take care of themselves instead of hitting/biting or pinching.

Much love to you all

Kate

Love

It is a great morning here at The Autism Treatment Center of America.
We have a beautiful red headed 7 year old boy with autism working his hardest at The Son-Rise Program Intensive. One of his isms is to touch his hair, or the tips of his toes and stare into the corners of the room. This is particularly exciting for me as I have always thought that if I had been autistic, that would have been the ism I would have chosen for myself.

Today I want to share with you part of a poem by an anonymous author:

"Even if someone does not love you the way that you want them to
It does not mean that they don't love you with all that they have."

These two lines have always been meaningful to me, as it is my experience that if I am looking or attached to someone being a certain way I am sure to miss all the love, and splendid gifts they have, and are offering to me.

See all the love that is being given to you today.

Sending much love to all of you
Kate

UK Maximum Impact - Wonderful Week

Wonderful and Amazing Time at the UK Maximum Impact Program
I have just returned from teaching the Son-Rise Program Advance Training - "Maximum Impact". It was incredible to be in a room with over 120 parents and caring helpers as they strived to be more accepting of themselves and their children, as they worked to understand how best to apply the techniques to help their child develop, and as they celebrated and delighted in each other.

It was a great week, the moms and dads who attended all left recharge, re-inspired and with clear clarity of purpose of where to go next in their Son-Rise Programs.

For all those that attended the program - moms, dads, volunteers, and the support staff - thank you, I left feeling inspired and honored that I was apart of this week.

Smiles and appreciation
William

Tantrums take Three

Hello Everyone!

What do we do when we understand clearly why our children are tantruming, but do not want to give them the particular thing they are wanting or can't give it to them at that particular moment.

Let them know that crying and tantruming will not change the situation.

During The Son-Rise Program Intensive I was working with an 8 year old girl with Autism, we had been playing wonderfully for about 45 minutes. She then decides that she wants the playroom door to open, she tries to open it but it is locked. Now, I want us to stay in the playroom so that we can have a great session without the distractions that happen from going room to room in their apartment, so I know that I will not be opening the door for her.

So the first thing I do is tell her that the door is not going to open until 5pm and that I can get her anything she wants inside this room. I let her know where the bathroom is, where her snack and drinks are. Upon hearing this she starts to cry.

I then let her know that crying will not change the situation, the door will remain closed even if she cries.

To which she looks at me and then picks up the stool and starts to throw it at me, I catch it easily and let her know that:

Even if she throws things, the door will remain closed.

To which she goes into the bathroom and turns on all the taps, rustles the shower curtain, knocks over the garbage can and throws the toilet paper into the toilet, then comes out and looks at me. I let her know:

That even if she makes a mess the door will remain closed.

To which she takes off all her cloths and looks at me with her hands on her hips.
again I let her know:

That even if she takes off all her cloths the door will remain closed.

After that she puts on her cloths and starts playing with me again.

Now a hour or so later it was another Son Rise Program facilitators turn to play with her, on the transition she makes no attempt to leave the playroom or open the door. When I leave I watched the two of them play together, with in a few minutes, she starts to cry at the door asking the facilitator to open the door, when that does not work she then throws the stool at the facilitator, she tries everything she tried with me on the next facilitator.

She is smart, she is thinking, OK it does not work with Kate, but maybe it will with this new person. She is trying to figure out what is the best and fasted way to get want she wants for the people around her.

It may take your child some time to really believe that you will no longer respond to their tantrums, that tantruming will not change the situation, but if you can stick to this they WILL eventually get this, because you will have changed and taught them something else.

That sometimes you do not get want you want, and that it ok.

Inspiring words

Hey Son-Rise peeps!

I saw this on a card and loved it. I think these words represent a wonderful way to live our lives - taking joy in each moment and constantly challenging ourselves to try new things and PERSISTENCE! If we can bring all these qualities to our work with our special children, wouldn't that be amazing??

"Take surprise in each sunrise and comfort in each moon.
Move often, carrying your Home with you.

Climb mountains. Stroll beaches. Drive cars on busy streets
and sail bicycles
down
big
hills.

Love among the hate, when love is what you truly feel.
Suck strength from your anger, then let it go.

Scream at the ocean.
Run when the sign says walk.
Question authority and accept Change.
Fill your soul instead of your pockets.
Have lunch on busy sidewalks.
Dance alone in your kitchen.
Talk to everyone, including the soldiers inside your head.
Watch closely. Read something. Listen hard.
Smile in every mirror. Grow with each tear.

With a heart and a brain, loneliness is unacceptable.

HAVE FUN! Without maps or directions.

Cherish Happiness. Buy it if you have to, but give it away freely.
Wave at the uniformed at the unsavoury.
Keep them guessing, and praying, and hoping, and laughing.

Struggle, Fight, Try, Reach, Build, Learn,
Crawl, Invent, Rally, Fall, Get up again.

And if the heavens should happen to open,
offering transportation to even the smallest of dreams,
Ride the nearest cloud."

Let's model to our children the amazingness of a life fully lived, and increase our capacity to love every moment!

Smiles,

Jack xXx

Want Some Inspiration?

I want to share a message that a Mom shared with me who has been doing The Son-Rise Program with her 32 year old son.

I had the pleasure of working with this lovely gentleman when he came to The Autism Treatment Center of America earlier this year. As well as having Autism, he also has Epilepsy and when he cam to our center was having seizure's every 2-3 days. Enjoy.

Hi becky thank you for your lovely words shak and me are very great full to have met you, and love the time we spent with you ,love you for ever and ever ,just would like to tell you how great shak is doing NO FITS!! For 15 days when shak looks as he is going to fit he is doing his own pressure point and pressing his upper lip how wonderful is that??...this is all down to all you lovely people at son-rise ..he is also doing new thing each week I could go on writing for hours but just let everyone know how great he's doing thank u again xxx

Asking Questions

This week at The Son-Rise Program Intensive we have a 10 year old boy with Autism and his family blessing us with their company. This boy is so much fun! He is lively , high spirited and loves to push peoples buttons. He loves to talk about what he cannot do, he will say things such as, "Are you going to stop me from breaking the glass window?, while looking intently into our eyes to catch our reactions.

I was watching him with one of our Son-Rise Program child facilitators while he was screaming very loudly, very close to her face, while saying, "I am very angry urrrrrrr". He had just lost a game of football.

The facilitator said very calmly to this boy, "Why are you angry?"
To which he replied, "Because I did not win!",
To which she replied, "oh, why are you angry about not winning."
To which he replied, "Because that's what I do when I do not win, I get angry".
To which she replied, "Why do you that?"
To which he replied, "Because I do.?"
To which she replied, "Well how long are you going to stay angry, 10 seconds, or 10 minutes?"
He looked at her and said, " I am going to stop right now and play." and they did. I
A beautiful example of how you can use The Option Process, asking questions to help your child.
Have a great weekend playing with your children!
Much love to you all
Kate

Pancakes

Good morning!
How to respond The Son-Rise Program Way to your autistic children when they are asking for something you cannot give them, or do not have in the playroom.
Click on the video below, or if you are on face book, click on the title of this blog, then on "View original post" that will take you to where the video is stored, and then just click on the video itself.
Enjoy!
With much love Kate

10 Variations for a Ball

Here are 10 things you can do with soccer balls in your Son-Rise Program Playroom with your special child.

1) Throw the ball up in the air and clap you hands while it's up. Start with one clap and work your way up, the higher the ball goes, the more claps you can fit in. The person with the most claps wins. This is also great for coordination and gross motor skills.

2) Pretend it's a satellite flying through the galaxy, experiment with having it land in different planets (e.g. tickling planet, singing planet, etc).

3) Set up goals around the room (using chairs or buckets), label each goal with a fun motivation (e.g. music, rides, etc) and take turns scoring goals and giving each other the action that the goal is labelled with.

4) Have a juggling competition.

5) Pretend that the balls are rare dinosaur eggs that are extinct and play catch with them, whatever you do, you must not drop them.

6) Play kick ball and make a fun sound effect whenever your partner kicks it (e.g. monkey impression, raspberry, etc).

7) Balance the ball on your head for as long as possible.

8) Hide them around the room and play a game of hotter and colder.

9) Keep them up in the air as long as you can.

10) Make a ball pop out from different places (e.g. from your sleeve, pretend to sneeze it out, etc).

Tantrums, Take Two

Last week I wrote:

"My role is not to stop my child from tantruming, it is to show them that it is not an effective way of communicating"

Were you able to really think this way when your children cried and tantrumed last week? I would love to hear about your experiences, as would all the other parents who read these blogs.


Today I would like to write about one action to take while you hold this attitude deep in your heart.

It is to:

Ask your child to use their sounds, words, or gestures to let you know what they want.

While working with autistic children I have found it very effective to literally ask them to communicate with me in a different way when they are crying , screaming or tantruming. I know that it sounds simple- but often times the most effective thing you can do IS the simplest thing.

Some of you may be saying to yourself- I've tried that - it does not work- but ask yourself this - have you really asked coming from a deep attitude of not trying to stop them from tantruming, from the loving calm focus of helping them find another way to communicate?

You might say something like this to your child:

"Honey - I don't understand what you want when you cry, take a deep breath( pause for them to do this) - then after a long pause - ask them to take another breath - then if your child is verbal ask them to use their words. Really encourage them to do this - ask them a few times. If your child has yet to form words - ask them to use their sounds - any sound. Or ask them to take your hand and show you want they want physically. Talk to them in full sentences really believing that no matter what level of language they have, they will understand you.

If they do as you are asking the next step is to move really quickly to respond to their language or gesture, showing them that this is the most effective way to communicate.

Much love to you

Kate

Energy Enthusiam and Excitement

Here at The autism Treatment Center of America everything we do, we do with Energy Enthusiasm and Excitement - the keys to creating fun, creative and joyful interactions with our children on the Autism Spectrum. Click on the video below for a tip to kick start your enthusiasm! Or if you are on face book right now, click on the title of this blog, then on "View Original blog" that will take you to where the video is stored, then just click on the video itself.

Enjoy
With much love
Kate

Amazing Talents

Hi Everyone,

I was recently sent these beautiful photos taken by someone with Autism. Working in The Son-Rise Program, I am continually inspired by the amazing and wonderful talents of our children. Enjoy!

TherapythorughLove.pps

To My Teachers

Good Morning!

This month is my official 17 year anniversary working at the Autism Treatment Center of America. I feel so grateful for all the families and lovely special children I have had the pleasure of working with.

I also feel grateful to all my teachers, for they are the shoulders on which I have stood, and the inspiration and wisdom that has helped me overcome my fears and my limitations. Today I want to mention the ones who have been the most influential to me, but by no means are these the only ones.

Elizabeth McCormick, she is my Mother, and has been the most supportive person in my life, always trusting my choices and urging me to create a life that is meaningful to me.
Bryn Hogan, she has taught me all that I know about The Son-Rise Program, and helped me to transform myself into the teacher I am today.
Samahria Kaufman, she is the inspiration for me to continually open my heart to every thing by life is offering me, and to seek a closer relationship with the perfection of the universe.
Bears Kaufman, my inspiration to push beyond the limitations of what I feel I can do, always urging me to be more, life more, love more, and believe that I can do, and get everything that I want.
Jade Hogan, my lovely God Daughter whose beautiful spirit and endless efforts to overcome her challenges is the most precious and beautiful example of how to live a life that I have experienced to date.

To each of you I celebrate you, and give my most heart felt thanks.

I love you.

Kate