Last week at The Autism Treatment Center of America we had 90 people come to learn how to start a Son-Rise Program. It was filled with mothers and fathers, uncles and aunts and professionals, all who were open hearted and wanting to help the special children in their lives.
They came from 22 different states in the USA, and 11 different countries, including Pakistan, Argentina, Brazil and Australia.
So if you are reading this and feel that we are too far away for you to make the trip, think again, wherever you are, you can make it here and we can, and want to help you help your beautiful child.
My love goes out to all you amazing people who attended this last Weeks Son-Rise Program Start Up, and I will think of you all as you set up your playrooms and work with your children on the Autism Spectrum.
Please don't forget to keep in touch and write and blog about your children and their Son-Rise Programs.
Much love
Kate
Monday, August 31, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Setting Loving Boundaries for Our Children
While the Son-Rise Program believes in giving as much control as possible to our children on the Autism Spectrum, this is also done with common sense. We would not let a child hurt himself, or destroy things in the name of giving control. So how can you lovingly set boundaries with your children?
Two principles that will help.
1. Be clear yourself, and then clear to your child what your boundaries are. Here at The Autism Treatment Center of America, our boundaries are:
Two principles that will help.
1. Be clear yourself, and then clear to your child what your boundaries are. Here at The Autism Treatment Center of America, our boundaries are:
- We would not let a child hurt himself or others.
- Do anything that could be harmful to their health, like putting their hands down the toilet and then in their mouth.
- Destroying things, like ripping books etc.
Before you set a boundary explain in detail to your child what the boundary is and why you have set it. For instance if your child wanted to do something that was potentially harmful to themselves like putting their hands down the toilet, explain why we do not want them to do that. You might say something like,
"The toilet water is full of germs, so I am taking your hands out of the toilet so that you do not get sick." Do this with a loving and calm tone, communicating to your child that we are loving them and taking care of them. This helps our children to understand the reasons and know that we are taking care of them, not punishing them.
2. Give an alternative. This is very important, we want to show our children what they can do instead. For instance if a child wants to put their hands down the toilet, we might offer them a bowl of clean water to put their hands in instead. Or offer them the chance to put their hands underneath a running tap. They can see that we are taking care of them, and offering them a safe alternative to want they were seeking. We then become their friends, and they can seek the healthy option next time.
If your child likes to rip books, after explaining to them that we want to keep the books whole so that they can enjoy them later, we can offer our child some paper to rip instead. That way we can keep the books intact and our children can do the act they were seeking.
Have fun setting clear and loving boundaries with your children.
Love to you all
Kate
Monday, August 24, 2009
No Distractions
I had the opportunity to play with the most gorgeous 6 year old boy from Scotland this morning in The Son-Rise Program Intensive.
This boy was incredibly exclusive to begin with, busily arranging plastic letters, musical instruments and balls on top of the trampoline that we have in the playroom. During this time, he rarely looked at me and merely used me as a means to get things by trying to climb up me to get to items on the shelf.
After about 25 minutes of doing this, we went in the bathroom where he proceeded to pull me into the bathtub with him and wanted me to tickle him. It was amazing how connected he was during this activity, he was looking, giggling and pulling me toward him as he squealed with delight at the tickles.
I believe that being in the small, enclosed space of the bath was helpful for him and he was able to eliminate all stimulation happening outside the bathtub and focus in on me. The bathtub was the ultimate non-distracting environment.
When you are working with your special child, experiment with using a tent, play tunnel, blanket or curtain and see how connected your child is.
This boy was incredibly exclusive to begin with, busily arranging plastic letters, musical instruments and balls on top of the trampoline that we have in the playroom. During this time, he rarely looked at me and merely used me as a means to get things by trying to climb up me to get to items on the shelf.
After about 25 minutes of doing this, we went in the bathroom where he proceeded to pull me into the bathtub with him and wanted me to tickle him. It was amazing how connected he was during this activity, he was looking, giggling and pulling me toward him as he squealed with delight at the tickles.
I believe that being in the small, enclosed space of the bath was helpful for him and he was able to eliminate all stimulation happening outside the bathtub and focus in on me. The bathtub was the ultimate non-distracting environment.
When you are working with your special child, experiment with using a tent, play tunnel, blanket or curtain and see how connected your child is.
Honoring Our Staff
From Bears (Barry Neil Kaufman/Co-Founder/Son-Rise Program. I wanted to share with you an all staff email I just wrote to our staff....who just go above and beyond, all year, to be loving and supportive for so many moms, dads, professionals and volunteers wanting to learn the Son-Rise Program in order to help children with autism.
Dear Amazing Team:
To Jan-Marie/Rachel and Brian/Lori on the front/front lines with our families, to Terri and Erin...to Candy, Zoe, Dane, registration/accounting --- wow, you've rocked the roof and have brought to the Institute so many people for us to help and teach this week during the August Son-Rise Start-Up Program...moms, dads, professionals, supportive volunteers - to help them, their families and, most profoundly, their children. I have no doubt that the universe is smiling upon all of you. Given we have many Son-Rise Program Start-Ups, Maximum Impacts and New Frontiers programs each year in the United States and Europe (some with registrations in excess of 100 and 200 participants), your ability to individually talk with and personally support so many people continually throughout the year is nothing short of spectacular. And this doesn't include all the families that come each week for customized Son-Rise Program family intensives. Thank you for demonstrating so much love and dedication.
To Bryn and to Scott - your guidance, your direction, your management and your persistence with this amazing team is clearly demonstrated by the number of people we will be serving in the Son-Rise Program Start-Up today. Standing ovation to both of you.
Standing ovation to the entire Autism Treatment Center of America and Option Institute team.
I salute you! Samahria salutes you (she's saluting you right now over my shoulder as I type). I have no doubt, our Board of Directors and OMT management team, who will receive this message, will also be saluting you. You enhance our ability in the world to meaningful help countless families and their children.
PS: Big wow to all the staff, who like every program week, will show up with class, energy and love - as teachers (Samahria, Bryn, William, Kate, Carolina, Beverly, Clyde, et al.), as guest services and property management folks, as front office and back office support, in the kitchen, in our IT department, in worldwide communication and public education and in development- throughout the entire 100 acre campus, you all show up with dedication and excellence...and lot of love/big time. And the families we serve know that. Blessings to all of you!
WE HIT 90!!!
for the August Son-Rise Program Start-Up last night!
for the August Son-Rise Program Start-Up last night!
Dear Amazing Team:
To Jan-Marie/Rachel and Brian/Lori on the front/front lines with our families, to Terri and Erin...to Candy, Zoe, Dane, registration/accounting --- wow, you've rocked the roof and have brought to the Institute so many people for us to help and teach this week during the August Son-Rise Start-Up Program...moms, dads, professionals, supportive volunteers - to help them, their families and, most profoundly, their children. I have no doubt that the universe is smiling upon all of you. Given we have many Son-Rise Program Start-Ups, Maximum Impacts and New Frontiers programs each year in the United States and Europe (some with registrations in excess of 100 and 200 participants), your ability to individually talk with and personally support so many people continually throughout the year is nothing short of spectacular. And this doesn't include all the families that come each week for customized Son-Rise Program family intensives. Thank you for demonstrating so much love and dedication.
To Bryn and to Scott - your guidance, your direction, your management and your persistence with this amazing team is clearly demonstrated by the number of people we will be serving in the Son-Rise Program Start-Up today. Standing ovation to both of you.
Standing ovation to the entire Autism Treatment Center of America and Option Institute team.
I salute you! Samahria salutes you (she's saluting you right now over my shoulder as I type). I have no doubt, our Board of Directors and OMT management team, who will receive this message, will also be saluting you. You enhance our ability in the world to meaningful help countless families and their children.
PS: Big wow to all the staff, who like every program week, will show up with class, energy and love - as teachers (Samahria, Bryn, William, Kate, Carolina, Beverly, Clyde, et al.), as guest services and property management folks, as front office and back office support, in the kitchen, in our IT department, in worldwide communication and public education and in development- throughout the entire 100 acre campus, you all show up with dedication and excellence...and lot of love/big time. And the families we serve know that. Blessings to all of you!
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Take the Battle Out of Tooth Brushing.
So you bought the kiddie friendly toothbrush in the shape of Shrek and the kiddie friendly toothpaste that the adverts promised, "no child could resist." Then why does your child with Autism run from the bathroom every time he sees the tooth brush?
Its not that our children have a phobia of toothbrushes, its that they do not want the fight that often times happens once the tooth brush appears. You want to help your child not get a cavity, they want to avoid being held down while a tooth brush is being prised into their mouths.
So...
1. Think, " I want my child to love brushing his own teeth, and to want to do it, versus just getting it done tonight."
2. "My child is more likely to entertain the thought of brushing his own teeth if I give him control."
3."If I keep doing the same thing, I will keep getting the same result."
4. Stop forcing the toothbrush into his mouth, and focus on making that toothbrush friendly and inviting to him, so he stops associating the toothbrush with a fight.
5. Get a bunch of toothbrushes and put them in your playroom, keep one in your top pocket, and start playing tooth brushing games.
6.If your child likes to be tickled, try tickling him with the tooth brush.
7.Brush the teddies teeth, play pretend dentist, where your child is the dentist, and you and the teddies or figurines are the patients.
8. Play super hero, where the super power comes from brushing your teeth. Once you brush your teeth you can fly, or have super human strength.
9. During these games encourage your child to touch and befriend the tooth brush. Cheering him when he does.
10.During the games, always give control, let your child know, that no means no, if they do not want to touch the toothbrush or want it to go away, you will put it away immediately. Then after a while, lets say a hour later you can re - introduce it in a fun and exciting way.
11. Once your child realized they do really have control they most likely will open themselves up to exploring the act of tooth brushing, because they know they can stop it at any time.
Have fun and let go!
Enjoy Kate
Thursday, August 20, 2009
My Wish Came True
Last Christmas, during a team meeting for David, an amazing little boy that I volunteer with. His Mom, Kathy asked us to make a wish for something that we wanted for David. My wish was for him to say my name.
In the months between then and now, David has made such incredible progress and a few weeks ago I heard from Kathy that he had said "It's Becky!" as my car pulled in the drive.
I was spending some time with David in their swimming pool last weekend and during the 4 hours that I was with him, we were playing together, alternating from me jumping in the pool for him and him jumping into my arms.
At one point, as I was helping David swim to the edge of the swimming pool, when he turned his body around to face me, looked at me with a huge grin and said "Becky?" I was floored, my wish came true!
Since then, his family has reported that when he is in the playroom and he hears someone come in the front door, he says "Becky?" How fantastic is that?
Make a wish for your child today and believe it will come true, then wait and see what happens.
In the months between then and now, David has made such incredible progress and a few weeks ago I heard from Kathy that he had said "It's Becky!" as my car pulled in the drive.
I was spending some time with David in their swimming pool last weekend and during the 4 hours that I was with him, we were playing together, alternating from me jumping in the pool for him and him jumping into my arms.
At one point, as I was helping David swim to the edge of the swimming pool, when he turned his body around to face me, looked at me with a huge grin and said "Becky?" I was floored, my wish came true!
Since then, his family has reported that when he is in the playroom and he hears someone come in the front door, he says "Becky?" How fantastic is that?
Make a wish for your child today and believe it will come true, then wait and see what happens.
For the Love of Vegatables.
Tips to help your child eat vegetables.
1. Love vegetables yourself. If you do not like them why would your child.
2.Demonstrate this love by eating vegetables yourself in front of your child. Do this with relish as if you were eating your most favorite dish. While you are doing this, just focus on how great it is for you to eat the vegetable, at this stage do not offer it to your child. Our children can smell a "trick' a mile away, it is important that you sincerely do like eating the vegetable, so pick one you like. If you are only doing it to get yourself to eat it, they will pick up on this and move away.
2.Put bowls of the food you would like your child to eat, within easy reach around the playroom while you are working with your child. If you are not working with your child in a playroom you can do this in the living room, or in the kitchen. It is important to make these food accessible, and plentiful. The more familiar your child is with the food the more likely they will investigate it.
3.Present the vegetables in different ways, for instance a carrot tastes and feels different when it is raw as opposed to cooked. You can mash, stew, boil, steam, chop into tiny pieces, or make it into the shape of a train. Be creative with how you cook and present them.
4.While you are working with your child, stop every now and then, and munch with great gusto from one of the bowls.
5.Whenever your child looks at a bowl of new food, touches the bowl, or the food, or indeed take a bite himself, celebrate, celebrate, celebrate him.
6.If the food your children usually eat, such as chips, chocolate, cookies are also available, then obviously they will choose this over the new healthy choices. So the important thing is that you only offer the choices you want your child to eat. Its common sense, if your child fills up on cookies then they will not be hungry enough to try the new food.
7. Be persistent and enjoy the process of offering new foods.
1. Love vegetables yourself. If you do not like them why would your child.
2.Demonstrate this love by eating vegetables yourself in front of your child. Do this with relish as if you were eating your most favorite dish. While you are doing this, just focus on how great it is for you to eat the vegetable, at this stage do not offer it to your child. Our children can smell a "trick' a mile away, it is important that you sincerely do like eating the vegetable, so pick one you like. If you are only doing it to get yourself to eat it, they will pick up on this and move away.
2.Put bowls of the food you would like your child to eat, within easy reach around the playroom while you are working with your child. If you are not working with your child in a playroom you can do this in the living room, or in the kitchen. It is important to make these food accessible, and plentiful. The more familiar your child is with the food the more likely they will investigate it.
3.Present the vegetables in different ways, for instance a carrot tastes and feels different when it is raw as opposed to cooked. You can mash, stew, boil, steam, chop into tiny pieces, or make it into the shape of a train. Be creative with how you cook and present them.
4.While you are working with your child, stop every now and then, and munch with great gusto from one of the bowls.
5.Whenever your child looks at a bowl of new food, touches the bowl, or the food, or indeed take a bite himself, celebrate, celebrate, celebrate him.
6.If the food your children usually eat, such as chips, chocolate, cookies are also available, then obviously they will choose this over the new healthy choices. So the important thing is that you only offer the choices you want your child to eat. Its common sense, if your child fills up on cookies then they will not be hungry enough to try the new food.
7. Be persistent and enjoy the process of offering new foods.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Going For Our Wants
All around me there are creatures going for their wants. Yesterday I was walking with my dog on the farm where I live and he was constantly chasing something. If it wasn't deer then it was rabbits or birds. He scaled under an electric fence, into streams and through bushes relentlessly to try and reach them. I was amazed at the way he went quickly towards his wants.
I picked some wild flowers and when I returned home I noticed that there was a bright yellow spider, nearly the exact same color as the flowers, hidden on one of the flowers. It had cast a web and was catching insects that were attracted to the flowers for it's dinner. It was so camouflaged, I nearly missed it. I took the flowers outside and tried to tap the spider away with a stick. It continued to move around the flowers and hide each time I tapped it. I was amazed at the persistence of the spider to stay on the flower by it's web.
As humans, we are taught not to go for our wants, because we might fail in getting them or be unhappy when we don't get them. Underneath that, we are operating from a belief that not getting what we want is bad so therefore we hold ourselves back from wanting too much.
I don't believe that the spider was unhappy about not getting his wants, nor did he give up and not go for them. I don't believe that my dog is unhappy about not getting them either, he simply chases the rabbit and is incredibly present, he is focused on what he wants, and if he doesn't get it (he never does by the way), he just tries again with the next animal.
The Son-Rise Program playroom is one place that I am free to want as much as possible. I want the children to look at me, talk to me and play with me. I am not attached to these wants nor scared about not getting them and go after them persistently and in many different ways.
We can learn a lot about wanting from animals, insects and babies, they move through the world, fearlessly going toward what they want and moving away from what they don't want because they are are not operating from limiting beliefs.
I picked some wild flowers and when I returned home I noticed that there was a bright yellow spider, nearly the exact same color as the flowers, hidden on one of the flowers. It had cast a web and was catching insects that were attracted to the flowers for it's dinner. It was so camouflaged, I nearly missed it. I took the flowers outside and tried to tap the spider away with a stick. It continued to move around the flowers and hide each time I tapped it. I was amazed at the persistence of the spider to stay on the flower by it's web.
As humans, we are taught not to go for our wants, because we might fail in getting them or be unhappy when we don't get them. Underneath that, we are operating from a belief that not getting what we want is bad so therefore we hold ourselves back from wanting too much.
I don't believe that the spider was unhappy about not getting his wants, nor did he give up and not go for them. I don't believe that my dog is unhappy about not getting them either, he simply chases the rabbit and is incredibly present, he is focused on what he wants, and if he doesn't get it (he never does by the way), he just tries again with the next animal.
The Son-Rise Program playroom is one place that I am free to want as much as possible. I want the children to look at me, talk to me and play with me. I am not attached to these wants nor scared about not getting them and go after them persistently and in many different ways.
We can learn a lot about wanting from animals, insects and babies, they move through the world, fearlessly going toward what they want and moving away from what they don't want because they are are not operating from limiting beliefs.
Savouring the Moment
This lunch time I was sitting on my back porch enjoying the trees in my back yard dancing in the wind. It reminded me of the peace and focus that autistic children have as they enjoy their repetitious behaviours/stims, which we here at the Autism Treatment Center of America call isms.
So much of our time is used trying to find solutions to our "problems" "fixing" our children, our loved ones, thinking about what we are going to do, or say; so many choices, avenues, careers, we forget to see the beauty that surrounds us. And it does, all of us, wherever we are, whoever we are.
Our children's challenge is connecting socially with the people around them, one way to help them is to stop, see them, really see them, what they are doing and decide to connect with the beauty of who they are today, verses getting them to change and connect with you.
So much of our time is used trying to find solutions to our "problems" "fixing" our children, our loved ones, thinking about what we are going to do, or say; so many choices, avenues, careers, we forget to see the beauty that surrounds us. And it does, all of us, wherever we are, whoever we are.
Our children's challenge is connecting socially with the people around them, one way to help them is to stop, see them, really see them, what they are doing and decide to connect with the beauty of who they are today, verses getting them to change and connect with you.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Eye Contact.
Most children and adults on the Autism Spectrum have challenges looking at people. I have also noticed that a lot of adults who are not on the Autism Spectrum also have challenges looking at people.
Maybe this is why Facebook has become such a social phenomenon.
Why can looking be so difficult for some people? Maybe one of the reasons is our society has difficulty with social intimacy.
When you look into another's eyes, you can see their warmth or their indifference, their acceptance or their lack of acceptance. You see their response to you. And vice versa, they see you and your response to them. In order to take in this response we must slow down and receive, again something that our society is not nurturing. It's all action-packed looking for results and the next thing to do, achieve or say.
When we look at another person, their eyes and facial expressions tell us more about the communication that just took place. The questions is do we really want to know?
When we do, it helps us slow down and notice what is really happening around us, to the people we love and what our children are already offering us.
Maybe this is why Facebook has become such a social phenomenon.
Why can looking be so difficult for some people? Maybe one of the reasons is our society has difficulty with social intimacy.
When you look into another's eyes, you can see their warmth or their indifference, their acceptance or their lack of acceptance. You see their response to you. And vice versa, they see you and your response to them. In order to take in this response we must slow down and receive, again something that our society is not nurturing. It's all action-packed looking for results and the next thing to do, achieve or say.
When we look at another person, their eyes and facial expressions tell us more about the communication that just took place. The questions is do we really want to know?
When we do, it helps us slow down and notice what is really happening around us, to the people we love and what our children are already offering us.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Wonderful Life of an 8 Year Old... Autism Recovery
Dear Friend,
The Mom in the following letter not only radiates with the daily joy of gratitude but also celebrates her son Carson's total transformation which began when she read Son-Rise: The Miracle Continues. Once lost in the inconsolable tantrums of Autism, her son now enjoys the full, wonderful life of an 8 year old.
Love and hugs , Bears
------
Good Morning Dear Ones!
I am thinking of both of you with extra special love and gratitude today, as it is my son, Carson's, eighth birthday today. When I compare where we were during the first two years of his life (a LOT of inconsolable screaming, very little sleeping, nightmarish meltdowns) to NOW (very high-functioning, doing great in school, learning to swim, socially interactive, no tantrums at all...) I am absolutely overjoyed that he is doing so wonderfully!!! I'm even happy about being happy, because I was so intensely miserable, scared, lost and alone for so long in the beginning.
Together, you both unlocked a huge door in the universe and then pointed the way for others like me to follow. I am so thankful that I discovered this path, and had the awareness to jump on and run with it. The day I started reading Son-Rise:The Miracle Continues was the most pivotal day in my entire life. I remember thinking "This is IT!" after the intro by Raun, and about the first two pages of the text. Wow! I'm still amazed by the intense power of that experience. It almost even felt like a dream.
I guess that also shows the power of that "4th E"--expression! I'm so happy that you not only worked with Raun in such a loving way, but you also shared it BIG TIME with the rest of the world. Obviously such a significant piece! And I will add that deepened learning to my inner awareness to remember how important it is for all of us to express the wonder of The Son-Rise Program, so others can have the opportunity to experience it's joys too! Including happiness and empowerment for the parents too!!!
Sending LOVE and PEACE to both of you on this very beautiful day of SON-SHINE!
Namaste,
Jeannie
p.s. I did my first "official" SR presentation last week, and it went great! Group Facilitation Training really paid off!!! The organizer of the program (social justice programs monthly at my UU church) even said this was the most moving and passionate program he had ever attended!
The Mom in the following letter not only radiates with the daily joy of gratitude but also celebrates her son Carson's total transformation which began when she read Son-Rise: The Miracle Continues. Once lost in the inconsolable tantrums of Autism, her son now enjoys the full, wonderful life of an 8 year old.
Love and hugs , Bears
Good Morning Dear Ones!
I am thinking of both of you with extra special love and gratitude today, as it is my son, Carson's, eighth birthday today. When I compare where we were during the first two years of his life (a LOT of inconsolable screaming, very little sleeping, nightmarish meltdowns) to NOW (very high-functioning, doing great in school, learning to swim, socially interactive, no tantrums at all...) I am absolutely overjoyed that he is doing so wonderfully!!! I'm even happy about being happy, because I was so intensely miserable, scared, lost and alone for so long in the beginning.
Together, you both unlocked a huge door in the universe and then pointed the way for others like me to follow. I am so thankful that I discovered this path, and had the awareness to jump on and run with it. The day I started reading Son-Rise:The Miracle Continues was the most pivotal day in my entire life. I remember thinking "This is IT!" after the intro by Raun, and about the first two pages of the text. Wow! I'm still amazed by the intense power of that experience. It almost even felt like a dream.
I guess that also shows the power of that "4th E"--expression! I'm so happy that you not only worked with Raun in such a loving way, but you also shared it BIG TIME with the rest of the world. Obviously such a significant piece! And I will add that deepened learning to my inner awareness to remember how important it is for all of us to express the wonder of The Son-Rise Program, so others can have the opportunity to experience it's joys too! Including happiness and empowerment for the parents too!!!
Sending LOVE and PEACE to both of you on this very beautiful day of SON-SHINE!
Namaste,
Jeannie
p.s. I did my first "official" SR presentation last week, and it went great! Group Facilitation Training really paid off!!! The organizer of the program (social justice programs monthly at my UU church) even said this was the most moving and passionate program he had ever attended!
Sunday, August 9, 2009
"I Know You Before You Say A Word?"
How is that possible? We listen to what people say (although sometimes not attentively). We gather data from their words. Isn't that how we get to know each other? Yes...and no. We also notice facial expressions, we see body language and movements... we even smell each other. We catalog all the information and form an opinion. Sometimes, wow, we're right on. Sometimes we're really off the mark.
However, there is a group of select people among us who actually don't need to listen to the words or even watch directly what others do...and yet they are often right on what they can know. Who are they? Our amazing, blessed children with autism and other developmental challenges.
A Son-Rise Program Child Facilitator is playing in one of our playrooms (at the Autism Treatment Center of America) with a 6 year old boy. They have begun to establish a relationship...slowly, Jimmy has dared to look and smile at our facilitator who has joined him running around the room and occasionally flapping as if they punctuate each full revolution. The day before, Jimmy was totally exclusive. Today, a relationship in an environment of acceptance and love and celebration has been growing. Another person enters the room...endeavoring to be inconspicuous -- sits in the corner. Jimmy doesn't appear to even look at that person but something starts to happen...Jimmy disengages from our child facilitator and flaps more intensely, then kicks the wall. When the visitor leaves, we noticed an immediate change in Jimmy -- he actually initiates to re-engage and continue building a relationship with our facilitator. Later we find out that the visitor felt very uncomfortable in the room and even judgmental of our joining this little boy's "bizarre" behavior
We've seen this many times before. Jimmy knew perhaps the most important thing about the visitor he needed to know -- without the person saying a word or even making any decisive moments. The optimum Son-Rise Program and Son-Rise Program environment is one in which your child is surrounded by people who are comfortable, nonjudgmental and loving. That's one of the keys -- and even if your child was challenged by autism or on the spectrum, wouldn't you want that for him or any child? Do you think u can without any self-scolding. None of us is perfect. Just like our children, we are learning and growing. Do we have to do this perfectly? Actually, do the best you can. The idea is to be aware of our child's human world and do our best to fill it with folks who want to be with us and our children with the Son-Rise Program attitude. Actually, you'd be surprised at what you will noticed when you keep this in mind.
Please know that all of us here at the Autism Treatment Center of America feel excited, honored and blessed to work with you and your awesome children. We're climbing the mountain with you...you are our heroes!!!
In love and celebration of our children, Bears (Barry Neil Kaufman/Co-Founder/Son-Rise Program
However, there is a group of select people among us who actually don't need to listen to the words or even watch directly what others do...and yet they are often right on what they can know. Who are they? Our amazing, blessed children with autism and other developmental challenges.
A Son-Rise Program Child Facilitator is playing in one of our playrooms (at the Autism Treatment Center of America) with a 6 year old boy. They have begun to establish a relationship...slowly, Jimmy has dared to look and smile at our facilitator who has joined him running around the room and occasionally flapping as if they punctuate each full revolution. The day before, Jimmy was totally exclusive. Today, a relationship in an environment of acceptance and love and celebration has been growing. Another person enters the room...endeavoring to be inconspicuous -- sits in the corner. Jimmy doesn't appear to even look at that person but something starts to happen...Jimmy disengages from our child facilitator and flaps more intensely, then kicks the wall. When the visitor leaves, we noticed an immediate change in Jimmy -- he actually initiates to re-engage and continue building a relationship with our facilitator. Later we find out that the visitor felt very uncomfortable in the room and even judgmental of our joining this little boy's "bizarre" behavior
We've seen this many times before. Jimmy knew perhaps the most important thing about the visitor he needed to know -- without the person saying a word or even making any decisive moments. The optimum Son-Rise Program and Son-Rise Program environment is one in which your child is surrounded by people who are comfortable, nonjudgmental and loving. That's one of the keys -- and even if your child was challenged by autism or on the spectrum, wouldn't you want that for him or any child? Do you think u can without any self-scolding. None of us is perfect. Just like our children, we are learning and growing. Do we have to do this perfectly? Actually, do the best you can. The idea is to be aware of our child's human world and do our best to fill it with folks who want to be with us and our children with the Son-Rise Program attitude. Actually, you'd be surprised at what you will noticed when you keep this in mind.
Please know that all of us here at the Autism Treatment Center of America feel excited, honored and blessed to work with you and your awesome children. We're climbing the mountain with you...you are our heroes!!!
In love and celebration of our children, Bears (Barry Neil Kaufman/Co-Founder/Son-Rise Program
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
A Way of Describing Autism
Click on the title of this post to watch a fascinating video to see one persons description of autism. At The Son-Rise Program, we observe each individual child and work with their specific challenges. That is one of the things that sets us apart from other programs.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Unconditional Love
My husband and I recently got a new dog Hendrix who is from a broken home. He is a sweet dog and has some issues with trusting people. I would guess he has been abused by a man because he still growls and cowers when my husband comes into the house, although we have had him for 4 weeks now.
He is like my shadow, following me around wherever I go and not letting me out of his sight. The reason I believe that he is responding to me is because I have decided to give him complete and unconditional love. Just like the children that I work with using The Son-Rise Program .
Even at the beginning when Hendrix was wary of me and nervous of everything, I would focus on loving him in every moment. I believe that my husband loves him only when he gets his affection in return and therefore Hendrix is keeping his guard up to protect himself.
When you love unconditionally, it not only feels good but it is more likely that that person/thing will open up to you because there is no expectations. Give it a try.
He is like my shadow, following me around wherever I go and not letting me out of his sight. The reason I believe that he is responding to me is because I have decided to give him complete and unconditional love. Just like the children that I work with using The Son-Rise Program .
Even at the beginning when Hendrix was wary of me and nervous of everything, I would focus on loving him in every moment. I believe that my husband loves him only when he gets his affection in return and therefore Hendrix is keeping his guard up to protect himself.
When you love unconditionally, it not only feels good but it is more likely that that person/thing will open up to you because there is no expectations. Give it a try.
Monday, August 3, 2009
The Man in the Glass
I have learnt many precious things working at The Autism Treatment Center of America. Like how to truly love myself. Learning to love myself has helped me love hundreds of children in the most profound way. Here is a great poem about loving yourself. Have you taken time to love yourself today?
The Man In The Glass
Anonymous
When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.
For it isn't your father or mother or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass.
The fellow whose verdict counts most in you life
Is the one staring back from the glass.
You may be like Jack Horner and chisel a plum
And think you're a wonderful guy.
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.
He's the fellow to please-never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear to the end.
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the man in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass.
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you've cheated the man in the glass.
The Man In The Glass
Anonymous
When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.
For it isn't your father or mother or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass.
The fellow whose verdict counts most in you life
Is the one staring back from the glass.
You may be like Jack Horner and chisel a plum
And think you're a wonderful guy.
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.
He's the fellow to please-never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear to the end.
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the man in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass.
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you've cheated the man in the glass.
There are no rules.
"There are no rules"
You could say that this is a motto amongst the Son-Rise Program teachers". Often times parents will makes comments like,"You can answer any question", or 'You always seem to know what to do", "or "You know my child so well, yet you have never met him".
One of the reasons why, apart from that each of us have so much experience with so many children is that we come from the perspective, "There are no rules".
This allows us to listen carefully to what is being said, to study the circumstances surrounding a child, to observe and be present, then pull from a variety of different Son-Rise Program attitudes and Son-Rise Program techniques the one that seems to suite the situation the most.
Our children are our greatest teachers in this regards, they don't care on bit about our rule bound world, they assess the situation, suss out the surrounding attitudes and go for what they want the faster way they know how. In one sense, they are far more present that we are.
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