Crying!!!

From Amanda: Hello Everyone! When you experience your child crying, what are you feeling? What is going through your mind? Maybe for some of you out there, the answer to this question is that when you see your child cry, you experience some form of discomfort. Many of you who may feel sadness and guilt because you believe you may have had something to do with your child's crying. You are responsible for your child's unhappiness. Some of you might believe crying is even harmful to your child, so you do everything in your power to "make it all okay." You react and respond to your child's crying (maybe by giving your child something they are wanting)and from this, your child learns that, "Hey, this is a really effective way to communicate my wants and my not wants. If I cry I can move the world and get anything I want."

As I mentioned in the above paragraph, when our children cry, it is, it is a form of communication. Our children cry because they are trying to tell us something. It doesn't mean they are sad or angry; It just means they want to tell us something. When we react and respond to crying, this sends the message to our children that this is the way people communicate with one another.

We want to help our children understand that crying isn't the most effective way to communicate. To do this, I am going to give you some techniques that you can implement with your child at home. Not only will this help your child-IT WILL HELP YOU!!

First, we can begin with our attitude. Know that when your child cries, they are simply crying as a way to communicate something to you, and to the world. It's important for us to be calm and loving (even if they are crying because they have bumped their head or hurt themselves). When we feel comfortable, our children feel safe and secure, which leads to calmness within themselves.

Secondly, it's important not to react. We want our child to know that crying isn't going to move the world and it's not going to move you!

Last night my daughter had a tantrum after I explained she wasn't able to go to the father daughter dance due to a prior incident that occurred in school. She jumped up and down on her bed for nearly an hour, screaming and crying, while gently biting her arms and bopping herself in the face. I immediately went to a place of calm within myself to help her. I wasn't reactive my screaming and yelling myself, or worrying because she was biting herself. I knew she was going to be just fine. I had never in my life seen anyone die from crying, so I let her go. As far as her biting and banging, I could see she wasn't chomping down hard enough to break the skin on her hand, and she wasn't hitting herself very hard, so again, I let her be.

Next, I decided to offer explanations to my daughter. Explanations give our children a clearer picture of why we are doing what we are doing, and why we believe crying isn't going going to be useful to them as a way to get what they want or as a way to say what they want to say. I calmly checked in with her and explained, "I want to help you but I don't know what you are trying to tell me when you are screaming and yelling." My daughter continued to cry, so I remained calm and loving and sat with her. She then yelled "I want to go to the father daughter dance." Again, I lowered my energy and said "Even though this is what you want, you are not going to go to the dance. It's totally fine if you want to cry, but crying is not going to change the fact that you are not going to the dance." Well, after I explained this to my daughter, she jumped higher on the bed, bit herself harder on the arm, and screamed louder than she had before-So what did I do? I went to a place of even more calm than I had before and trusted myself in knowing she was going to work this out on her own-even if she wasn't going to the dance.

Once my daughter began to tantrum more intensely, I decided that I was going to sit with her while she screamed without saying a word. It was clear she wanted to continue crying until she was ready to stop. I sat with her for nearly an hour!! I didn't move; I didn't look at her; and I didn't react; I felt complete comfort and love as I sat still on the end of her bed.

After 50 minutes, my daughter began to calm herself down. She slowed her breathing and lowered herself to a sitting position on her bed. She then looked at me and said "I want to go to the to the father daughter dance. I am sad I can't go." My response was gentle, and loving, and warm as I said, " Thank you for telling me so clearly. You are actually not going to the dance, but know that I love you very much." With a whimper, my daughter said " I love you too," and she went to bed quietly on her own.

In the above example, I used the Son-Rise Program Principles to help my child work through crying which in turn, helped her communicate more clearly. She also learned that crying did not change the outcome.

Being non-reactive, calm, loving, consistent, and comfortable is the greatest gift you can give your child when they are tantrumming. I hope you have the chance to use this soon:)

Are You Judging How You Feel?

FROM BECKY: Being 11 weeks pregnant, I am experiencing things I have never experienced before in my new body. The waves of nausea that come and go throughout the day, sometimes feeling like car sickness, other times feeling like I'm on a rocking boat on a stormy sea. The pregnancy fatigue that hits me like a ton of bricks even when I need to get things done and all I want to do is sleep! The new hormones that are surging through my body and heightening my emotions.

I have learnt through my Son-Rise Program training that I don't need to judge these things when I feel them, even though they are different, I can embrace them, sit with them and not need to fight them away. I can even go a step further and feel gratitude for them. Different is not worse, it's just different. I can greet each wave of nausea as a sign that my baby is developing to be strong and healthy. I can know when I'm too tired to stand that I have achieved so much today as I create a person! I can accept the way I feel when my emotions are extra sensitive and ride the wave with them. This is who I am RIGHT NOW! And I want to love and be kind to myself!

I'm sure as parents of a child with autism, there are certain ways you may feel that you give yourself a hard time about. Maybe you have a nagging pain in you back and you have so much to do that you are judging it. Perhaps you feel too tired to go into the playroom today and you are pressuring yourself to do so without accepting where you are. Your week could be so busy with chores that you don't have enough time to be present with your special child.

Take a deep breath, check in with how you feel, love yourself, make friends with this thing that you have been fighting and allow yourself to let it in, invite it in for a cup of tea! Yes, I know you want your back to feel better, you wish you had more energy, you crave more hours in the day. Judging yourself or the situation will not change it.

Give it a try!

Hope & The Opposite Alternative

A Son-Rise Mom wrote me today that the doctors said her son with autism would never talk in a meaning way, never interact with warmth, never feel or express affection or love. Today, that little boy speaks endless sentences, hugs, plays affectionately, asks great questions and is so curious about the world. Why do people think pessimism is realistic and optimism is unreasonable?

Comments:

Rhoda L. W. - I've always wondered the same myself.

Bears Barry Neil Kaufman - Let's dream our biggest dream. Let's not be limited by views of others (no matter what expertise they claim) but be inspired by what what we want for ourselves, our families and our children. Realism is about the past - it has zero to do with what's possible today, right now. Hope and dreams is about today...what can be, what is possible. Two quotes I love: one is by Disraeli - "Nurture your mind with great thoughts for you will never go higher than you think." The other is mine: "Stop believing in what is and start believing in what you want!" Love and smiles, Bears

Alejandro P. C. - Woah...that's awesome

Jack M.-G. - Bears - this week a mother has brought her 32 year old son here to work with us at the Autism Treatment Center of America. How beautiful is that, through the Son-Rise Program, she has reconnected with her hope and love for her son. Even at 32, she still knows he has unlimited potential and hasn't given up on helping him unleash it. I hung out with him today - he truly is the most incredible, loving, gentle man. We believe that every person - no matter how old or how challenged - deserves hope, deserves love and deserves a hand extended in friendship. Let's celebrate these fearless, tireless, and powerful parents and their beautiful, fascinating, inspiring children!

Jane L. B. - It's funny how people seem to try to trade pain today (realism) for a greater pain tomorrow (their view of optimism -or hope without conviction). But don't we find that true optimists are the ones with clarity of what they want and they go after it. In the end, they rejoice in obtaining the "prize" and they are happy. We have choices in life. I choose optimism and hope.

Jenn M. - You with the awesome questions. :o)

Pessy G.- Shall we make it up? Nah...I'm having to much fun being "Optionistic"! :)))

Simone D. L. T. - I think the reluctance on embracing Hope is because Hope is not seen exactly in the same way by everybody. The general belief I encounter for Hope is one of embracing suffering to be able to get a prize later and the possibility of disappointment if you don't get it. The liberating way we see hope makes it a joy to enjoy any process get any result and energizes us making it the more possible for us to get what we want. The videos of parents showing us how their children recovered from autism are becoming more and more common but the beauty of it is that you could film any Son-Rise family with children in any stage of recovery and they would all look the same as the Parents who already achieved their goal, they are all happy in the same way because they've embraced Hope in its true meaning.

Alison S. T. - Sometimes I think people do pessimism as a way to take care of themselves. It happens when we become focused on the destination rather than the journey. I used to think that if I only expected bad things to happen then I wouldn't be disappointed when they did. If I could have avoided disappointment then somehow I wouldn't need to judge myself as being stupid for not seeing the bad thing coming. So, I avoided the final disappointment and self - judgement, but look at the journey I gave myself - it was truly miserable.

Alison S. T. - Also we build evidence to support our beliefs which means that we can miss things that we would have been grateful for if only we were looking for them. Since coming to The Option Institute I have learned to do things differently - "to know... that we create our own experience means that we can create our own experience" (I think you said this first Bears ) means that we can choose hope and optimism - what an improvement on the journey - and the destination - who know's - it's not relevant to today.

Thanks for this thought provoking discussion Bears

Love hugs and smiles

Roger B. - I was really down after losing not only my love for a special person, but having my 3 little ones moved to the other end of the country at short notice (including my Aspergers boy). I wrote some words for my own comfort and read them and realised how sad they sounded and i knew they were not me. So i wrote the same verses with word changes and made myself see the silver lining and the sun breaking through, that became so powerful, it was full of optimism and the knowledge that if we try to move forward, we will not only get through, but grow! Special people are not long lonely and now I'm not. I'm very happy, but would i have achieved this by choosing the easier alternative? i know not. Believe in yourself, others will know you are "doing the best you can!". And if "happiness is a choice" why choose sadness because it seems easier? Its remarkably easy to be happy too. TRY IT x.See More

Sherri L. D. - Thank you Bears for your post. So often, we are told as parents by the so called "professionals" and teachers within the school system of our child's limitations or sometimes we are told nothing at all. Whether professionals consider this ..."realism" or not, this type of attitude sets up barriers and obstacles for a child's growth. I WANT more for my child and I BELIEVE that his journey of growth and development is infinite. Every day still has it's challenges, but I face those challenges with openness and see them has opportunities to help my son. I refuse to let anyone shut the door on my son! His journey is just beginning, and I will be there every step of the way!!!

Lorna M. - Besides...it's just MUCH MORE FUN to believe. Much, much more fun! Who doesn't want that?

Sherri L. D. - Lorna, so true! Imagine, not too long ago, people thought the Earth was flat. And, someone, believed otherwise. Thank goodness for the BELIEVERS in this world!!!

Rekha N.- Thank you for that Bears, I was rerunning a conversation I had with my younger brother some time ago in my head earlier today. It was about Raun just having autism and Rohan having lots more to deal with, he was reciting just what you were talking about false hope, unrealistic, proof, case histories, etc...I decided then that we were going to create the most loving, supportive environment possible and leave all that to Rohan, he can create whatever evidence and case histories he likes. Thank you for reminding me again it is just a choice. Love, Rekha.x

Judy M. - I think that people think pessimism is realistic and optimism is unreasonable because they are in ego thinking and believing limiting thoughts and beliefs and creating limiting emotions. which are responses to their thinking and believing. ... As they continue this cycle, they go round and round until something inspires them to consider another way of thinking and believing or they stay stuck in their thinking and experience.

I thought for years and years up until last year that the thoughts I thought were real and true. I believed they had to be because I thought them and I must be right. Little did I know that a lot of my thoughts were negative and limiting and that they are were right, real and true. Now I question them and decide for myself if they are right, real, and true for me now or if I want think and believe something else. I have done a lot of changing thoughts and beliefs in the last year or so and my life has changed in so many wonderful ways!

Be what you want your volunteers to be

From Gaby: Be a happy detective when you look at your child, is one of the things we learn and use very often. Yesterday I was thinking about my feedbacks when I realized that I use the same principle when it comes to my volunteers. Be a happy detective when you want to find out why a volunteer does or does not do something you want in the playroom. We all know we do things for a reason: the old S(timulus)-B(elief)-R(espons) principle, and what better way to find out then when you genially want to help your volunteer to discover what his or her belief is behind the response. Be curious who your volunteer is, show interest and be non judgmental and you will help your volunteer become the best volunteer he or she can be.

We want our volunteers to look at themselves, dare discover what beliefs they hold. To do that, they have to be willing to look at themselves. If they don’t do that, then they don’t have a place in the playroom. You can be very open in explaining that to them. Only when they dare to look at themselves, can they work with issues they may have in the playroom.

Be what you want others to be in the world. If you want your players to be open and look at themselves then be that yourself. One of the great learning’s I took from the institute was how teachers shared about their own personal challenges. It inspired me to look deeper at myself and to share my own personal learning’s with my players so as to inspire them.

A wonderful quote is: If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the immensity of the sea" - Antoine de Saint –ExuperyHelp your volunteers long for discovering who they are! That’s one of the greatest gifts you can give.
Gabs

Do Something New to Help Your Child!

FROM BECKY: I am about to begin a series of lectures on The Son-Rise Program to small groups around the North East of the USA. This is the very first time I have done any presenting of any kind to a group and I am super excited and ready for this new adventure!

When I picture my life and who I used to be 7 years ago when I first began my Son-Rise Program training, I would never have imagined in a million years that I would be confident and comfortable enough to talk in front of groups. Even being in a group of three or more people would send me blushing and comparing myself to others and doubting my abilities in some way.

The reason I am now in a place to be able to do this now is because I dared to do something different! My desire to work with children and to help families was greater than my fear of jumping in!

As parents of children with autism, one of the best and most beautiful ways of inspiring your child to change is to look within and start with YOU! The more you transform yourself, the more you will see your child responding, changing and growing with you as you run your Son-Rise Program.

Here are three simple ways you can start to change yourself in order to help your child:
1) Think differently!
Our beliefs are often so ingrained in us, they feel like facts. All beliefs are changeable. At one point, people believed the world was flat! That was not a fact, it was merely a belief. Maybe you have a limiting belief that is getting in the way of you moving forward (e.g. "I am not fun or creative enough" or "If I fully accept my child's autism then I wouldn't do anything more to help them", etc). Just by changing these thought patterns day by day, you will fill yourself more with thoughts that will suport you and your child. These thoughts will turn into beliefs and become easier and easier to embody.

2) Do something new!
The only way to change yourself is to actually act differently. Challenge yourself to do something you have never done before each day. Perhaps you could use a new voice in the playroom, play with a toy you have never played with before, be authentic with someone in your life and share something with them something you never have. You can do it!

3) Do it for your child!
Think about what you are asking your child to do. You are asking them to move mountains inside of themselves, to stretch themselves to want to learn and grow more. Do the same for yourself! Reach inside yourself and find the courage to change. Your child is looking to you to learn how to be in life, you are their biggest inspiration.

Have fun growing!

Choose a Happy Easter!

FROM SIMONE - It's usual in these occasions that we wish each other a Happy occasion being it Easter, Christmas or any Holiday or special occasion. We wish as we would wish it to be sunny or rainy, wishing that something happens, something I have no control over. As we know and exercise with the Option Process, happiness is a choice so let's choose for ourselves a Happy Easter, Happy Holiday, Happy Summer!

Our choice can start from adopting the belief that it doesn't matter how my Easter or Holiday is, as in very different from other families, it will be delightful! I hear it all the time in these holidays that there's a special sadness in the air as my child won't open presents, won't choose presents, won't decorate a tree, won't hunt Easter eggs, can't eat chocolate. All things that other children do. The rule we cruelly adopt for our lives is everybody does things this particular way, if I don't do it this particular way, then I can not possibly be happy. The simple question is "Why not?" and my suggestion is go check a family who are doing all these things that you set as a pre-requisite for happiness and check how happy they are. Are they? They could be, but I bet a lot of families who have all your pre-requisite for happiness are feeling sick for eating too much chocolate, siblings are fighting because of a last caramel, Parents are complaining they are spending a fortune on chocolate, the entire family is arguing in a car stuck at a traffic jam on their way to a Holiday resort they will not enjoy. How many times we have looked at such families and thought "ungrateful", if I was in their place I would know how to be grateful, well, we are not in their place, but we are at our place, right where we are at the moment, and there is someone else looking at our place, right now, right where we are, thinking "ungrateful" if I were there...

Be grateful for exactly where you are, can't eat chocolate? Great! Cheaper, the money you save you can get something your child will really enjoy, instead of stomach aches and hyper tantrums which are not enjoyable to anyone; can't go places? Great! Where you are is the best place you can be because you are with your loved ones and it is the best place to be because you chose it that way. Still would like it to be more Easter like? Buy hollow Easter eggs and fill them up with your child's treats, the ones he or she can have, bake biscuits and cut them with Easter shaped cutters, dress yourselves as Easter eggs and have your children find you in a huge egg hunt, if your child likes sensory input they can be the egg and you can "decorate" them by stipulating that "icing" will be long strokes, "chocolate sprinkle" will be little tickles, "coconut flakes" will be little scratches, and so on but above all enjoy yourselves, don't waste the "now" thinking what if? Live the "now", "now" is always as beautiful and as happy as you make it to be.

Choose a Happy Easter everybody!

Being Playful...

From Kate Wilde:


Fully engaging with your child on the autism spectrum involves using the most playful side of yourself. 

When we allow ourselves to be fully playful and have fun with our children, it inspires them to want to open up and connect with us. From this alone comes spontaneous eye contact, expressive language and flexibility.
It is not about what game you play but how you play the game.
The Son-Rise Program brings you Bat Man and Robin - a little playful inspiration.

The Staring Ism!

FROM BECKY: Your child looks at you....you try celebrating them. They keep looking......you make something fun happen. They continue to stay fixed on your eyes.....you play a game......they stare right back.....you invite them to participate and they don't respond......

BUT......

THEY ARE STILL LOOKING!

WHAT DO YOU DO?

Maybe your child has a STARING ISM! They just keep looking and looking at you.

BUT........

THEIR FACIAL EXPRESSION IS KIND OF FLAT!

THEY SEEM TO BE STARING RIGHT THROUGH YOU!

THEIR STARE IS FIXED AND GLAZED OVER!

Recently I worked with a child with Autism in The Son-Rise Program playroom who did this. I celebrated, responded, built many many times from that green light he was giving me. But he didn't respond, it was a STARING ISM!

I stopped responding and joined him. I stared at him too. I relaxed into feeling love, acceptance and joy as I stared. Just as I would do if I was joining an other ism.

Build Build Build!

FROM BECKY: I was working in The Son-Rise Program playroom this morning with a beautiful 7 year old child with autism. For most of the two hours that I played with him, he was exclusive, doing his own thing, circuiting around the room, sitting on the therapy ball, lying on the floor and staring at his hands, staring at himself in the mirror and drinking from his water bottle.

During this period he looked at me many, many times. I would celebrate and build an activity for him to be a part of. I offered him rolls on the ball, I danced for him, sang and played a drum, created an obstacle course, read a book, threw myself onto the floor, offered him an upside down ride and lassoed a toy bumble bee. I built my little heart out and he wasn't interested in any of my ideas.

Did I take this personally?...NO! Did I judge my ideas?....NO! Did I worry?....NO! He just wasn't ready to play! I had fun anyway, I had the best time! I enjoyed every minute of it!

What matters is that you have fun, you build with passion, you keep trying! You are not attached to whether your child responds or not. Just keep going!

Have fun!

Boundary Setting

FROM WILLIAM: Part of a child's life is to learn you do not always get what you want. This applies to autistic children as well as neuro-typical children. For any child a main part of their focus on a day to day basis is to get what they want exactly when they want it (i.e. food, drink, the toy, computer, a ride in the car, etc.) So here you have a child focused on getting what they want and us the parents deciding what they can have or not have. This is one of the roles we have as a parent - to set boundaries on what we want our child to have or not have.

As parents we also want our children to be happy - we love them and we want them to feel good about themselves, about us, the situation and the other people in their lives.

For many moms and dads holding these two ideas, controlling what my child can have or not have and wanting them to be happy individuals, can cause a major impact to the effectiveness of their parenting. The way to hold both these ideas in harmony is to be easy and relaxed when your child gets unhappy when they don't get what they want. As a parent it is our job to control what your child can do or not do - you are always assessing what you believe is the best for them (i.e. I don't let my 9 year neuro-typical child play out in the street at 10pm at night even if they want to.) No matter what, my child will always protest (cry, whine, make themselves unhappy, tantrum, hit, etc.) about something I have stopped them getting - this fact is unavoidable.

The key to parenting effectively when setting boundaries is being comfortable when your child gets unhappy. Remember that your child is learning a valuable life lesson - you don't always get what you want no matter how hard you cry, hit, scream, tantrum. In fact to give them what they want when they act this way will encourage this behavior to happen again and again.

When you set your boundaries be strong, love your child and allow them the space to get unhappy and learn that you don't always get what you want even if you cry, tantrum, etc. If you have a older child, on the austistic spectrum, who hits or hurts others and are unsure how to apply this - please contact us we would love to support and help you.

Love and smile

William

What Does it Mean to Have a Good Playroom Session?

FROM BECKY: Just a quick thought! There is no such thing as a good or a bad Son-Rise Program playroom session with your child with autism!

A session spent crying around the playroom door creates an opportunity for your child to learn!

A session with your child asking for something they want again and again is useful for your child!

A completely exclusive session where all I do is join my child will help me deepen my attitude!

If my child spends the whole session trying to test boundaries (e.g. trying to stick his/her hand down the toilet or drawing on the walls) that will be a productive session!

Going with wherever your child's energy and focus is will help your child EVERY TIME! Create a YES, THANK YOU! experience inside yourself each time your child decides to do something that in the past you have seen as an unproductive session as there is no such thing!

It's ALL GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Timing and Attitude

From Kate Wilde:

Timing and attitude, attitude and timing, timing and attitude, attitude and timing. This is the heart of The Son-Rise Program.  

An attitude of loving each moment, every moment you are with your child. Timing - looking to see where you child is at any given moment to decide which Son-Rise Program technique to use.

An attitude of pure acceptance, of everything your child does or does not do. Timing - trusting your child to tell you when it is time to join them in their ism, or request for them to socially interact with you.

An attitude of sincere delight and excitement in who your child is today. Timing - being profoundly flexible in observing your child's cues and letting that be the deciding factor on what Son-Rise Program technique you use.

Timing and Attitude - the heart beat of The Son-Rise Program.

Using Your Voice and Body in the Playroom

FROM BECKY: Today I would love to inspire you to vary the way you use your voice and body in The Son-Rise Program playroom with your child with autism.

We can often get repetitious and a little bit stale when working with our children. We are trying to help them to step outside of their comfort zones and be more flexible and open to new things. By taking a look at ourselves and stretching ourselves outside of our own comfort zones we will inspire them to do this.

Here are some things you can try that will prepare you to be more interesting and creative in these areas when playing with your child. You could try these things when you are doing chores around the house, when you are driving to the store, or as you are getting dressed in the morning.

1) Take a deep breath and open your mouth wide. Sing the lowest note that you can find within your vocal ability. Gradually sing the note higher and higher until you get to the highest note that you are able ti sing. Then do the opposite, start from the highest note and continuously sing down to the lowest. Do it several times in a row. It's amazing how high and low you will find yourself going. it also feels really good and gets you energized.

2) Pretend to be an animal. Get dressed in the morning like a cat, try doing the laundry like a snake or a tiger. Have fun using each movement that you think that animal would use.

3) Say your favorite nusery rhyme or a tongue twister in the softest voice that you can, repeat it in the deepest voice that you can, then the squeakiest, then in a whisper.

4) Brush up on your accents and character voices. Try saying a line to your favorite movie in a British accent, in a Texan accent, in Popeye's accent, in Goofy or Mickey Mouses accent. Choose any accent you can think of.

5) Dance Dance Dance! Do a little dance as you do the dishes, try the slinkiest dance you can, the most energetic dance that you can and the slowest dance that you can.

The more versatile you can be, the more variety you will offer your child. This will make you more dynamic and help you unlock more energy, excitement and enthusiasm.

Have so much fun!

Easter Fun!

From Kate Wilde: I just love Easter! Along with Halloween it is my favorite holiday. I love the feel of spring in the air and the promise of longer warmer summer nights. I love the symbolism that Easter represents. That we can be reborn, change, let go of the old and become whomever we want and begin to nurture the new inside of ourselves. The Easter holiday brings colorful eggs, bunnies, daffodils, tulips and treasure hunts. Below are 10 Easter inspired games and activities that you can play with your children on the Autism Spectrum.

Bring on the fun...

1. Make an egg family Boil eight hard boiled eggs , four for you and four for your child. Each of you turn your 4 eggs into a family. Bring in markers or paints, sticker, or pieces of material, cotton wool, different things to make your eggs into people. You could make your family any kind of family you want, they could be a super hero family, or a family of Bakers, or a family of dogs, each of you get to decide. Once you have made your families you each get to introduce your families to one another - great for expressive language. Then after that they could go on adventures together, or you could make your family a house. It is theme that could gone on for as long as your child is interested in their family of Eggs.


2. Rescue Mr. Bunnie from the Giant Bunnie Eating Egg Man Put pictures of bunnies around the room, and your child has to run and collect all the bunnies before you the "giant bunny eating egg" munches up the bunnies. You could take turns being the bunny saver or the giant eating egg.


3. Grow a Flower Get some sun flower seeds (these are really hardy and in my experience always grow) and two flower pots and plant a sun flower together. You both pick a word that describes something you would like to grow within yourself .You could pick any word, such as, kind, or loving, or courageous, or happy, or silly, or taller - anything at all. Decorate your pot with this word. Then for the next couple of weeks your child gets to water it everyday and watch their flower grow.


4. Dress up as the Easter bunny Dress up as the Easter Bunny and go on an adventure together leaving eggs at the bedside of all the sleeping stuffed animals in your playroom.


5. Easter Hide and Seek Hide little plastic Easter eggs around the room. You child has to find them by following where your eyes are looking.


6. If you were a carrot where would you be hiding? Create written clues that are hidden inside a plastic egg that give clues to where a carrot sticker is hiding. One clue could say something like, "I am a carrot who is sleepy and is resting in a very soft and cozy place. Come find me."


7. Create a flower shop You can make flowers together out of tissue paper, then create a shop. Take turns pretending to be the shop keeper or the customer.


8. Guess what's inside Fill plastic Eggs with things that make a sound, like dried rice, or little bells, ask your child to guess what is inside by shaking the eggs and listening to the sound.


9. An Easter circus A circus with a twist, all the performing artists are spring animals, such as bunnies and chicks. For instance, you could be the tight rope walking birdie, or the fire eating bunny, or the singing chick from Kentucky.


10. Teaching baby bird to fly Pretend one of you is the baby bird and the other is the Mommy bird. Build a nest that you live in. You can play imagination games of going off to find worms to eat, and teaching your bird how to fly.

Enjoy this coming Easter Sunday whether you celebrate or not.

What Does The Eye See?

 From Kate Wilde:

Good morning!!

Today The Autism Treatment Center of America brings you the game, What Does The Eye See?
Click on the video below to learn how you can play this game to help your child on the Autism Spectrum with expressive language, social cues and imagination games.

Don't forget to add the magic of The Son-Rise Program attitude and three E's.

Trusting The Universe

From Kim: So you're out there and things just aren't going your way... i.e. the way you want them to go... Maybe you have your heart set on one particular thing... something you are wanting with the entirety of your being; maybe this is something you think you are doing everything in your power to achieve... and the kicker is (drum roll)... at the moment you are not getting it.

What can we do when this happens? Well first lets start by being open to the situation we are in... lets love it... accept it... welcome it with open arms... and to go one step further lets cheer ourselves on for the awareness and the acceptance we have for this certain thing!

If we TRUST the universe, and I mean really TRUST that the universe is handing us a big bright shiny gift --- then we can see our "not going the way we want" situation from a different perspective-- with a new set of eyes... eyes that are ready and open to seeing the lesson for ourselves, the lesson that will help us grow into something even greater. Thank you UNIVERSE for creating such a perfect gift!

Maybe the gift takes the form of a lesson in patience, or in being more assertive, or being more aware, a lesson in moving more slowly, taking a break for ourselves, thinking outside the box we've put ourselves in, a lesson in celebrating ourselves more, or appreciating more deeply.

What does your 'bright shiny gift" hold inside?

Sweet thoughts,
Kim

Initiating and Building Up a Game With Your Child

FROM BECKY: I want to talk a little bit about initiating and building up a game for your child with Autism. The way I view this is similar to the way I cook. I'm the kind of person who likes to throw a little bit of this and a little bit of that in as I cook. I rarely follow a recepe, I improvise! When I am in The Son-Rise Program playroom and I'm playing with a child, or interacting with a teenager or adult, I do the same thing, add a little bit of this and a little bit of that to create new flavor in the interaction.

Want to practice this?

These ideas are going to be based on our child giving us a green light and they are not particularly focused on anything else at the time. They do not have an object in their hand, they are not bouncing on the ball or climbing on the slide, instead, they may be walking across the room as they look at you, or you may enter the playroom and they pay attention to you, perhaps, they have just taken a break from jumping on the trampoline and brush past you and touch your arm. I'm going to list below, 5 random actions that could be done when your child gives you a green light. Often when we do an action, our child will continue to attend, now what do I do?....Well now it's time to keep adding to the idea and building up the game.

Practice for yourself!

Try adding 4 new things to each action that would stretch the game and take it in fun new directions. By doing this you will work on your child's interactive attention span, imagination play and your own spontaneity and creativity. Once you have written down four new ideas of each action, scroll down and get more ideas from me. The object is not to get the same ideas as me, not to have the most elaborate, perfect game in the world, but to have fun and not judge your ideas. To be spontanous and practice being passionate and quick.

Are you ready?

1. Quack like a duck!


2. Play a harmonica.


3. Give your child a tickle.


4. Skip across the room for your child.


5. Throw a ball into the air and catch it.

Did you do it? Here are more...

1. Quack like a duck, waddle around the room, get a blanket and pretend it's a pond, splash in the pond, eat some pretend bread.


2. Play a harmonica, do a little dance, sit on the floor to play, stand back up to play, bang the wall like a drum as you play.


3. Give your child a tickle, chase them and then tickle them, tickle them with a puppet, tickle their nose and then their toes, tickle youryself and fall about giggling.


4. Skip across the room for your child, start to hum a marching tune as you do it, grab a doll and make the doll skip too, skip to the wall and skip to the door, invite your child to skip with you.


5. Throw a ball into the air and catch it, grab another ball and try to juggle, throw the ball and try and catch it on your head, bounce the ball and try to jump over it, put it between your knees and try to run across the room.

See how easy it is? It's just like cooking! Have fun!

How Capable Can I Be?

FROM WILLIAM: If you have given everything - your love, your time, your energy, your knowledge and understanding to create or get what you want in your life and still don't achieve or get your want - what do you do? You have given everything, you have no more to give!!!

The universe is constantly expanding and so can you expand your capabilities. In the giving of everything of yourself you come to know what you are capable of giving today, and also the limits of who you are (today). There are infinitely more ways to deepen your love and understanding in this life time. There is no limit.

Do not give up when you have given everything and still don't get what you want, instead focus on lovingly growing yourself to an even bigger version of who you are today, and then continue to go for what you want.

Enjoy your journey.

With love and smiles,

William

Building Interaction

From Kate Wilde:

Our children on the autism spectrum give us signs that they are ready to interact with us - here at The Autism Treatment Center of America we call them "Green lights of Interaction." They are when your child looks into your eyes, or speaks to you or has physical contact with you, such as learning on your shoulder or sitting on your lap, these signs show us that they are now interested in us verse their own exclusive play.

What to do once you see these green lights? 

First and foremost, celebrate your child for the interaction that they are already giving you. Let them know sincerely how much you love it when they look in your eyes, or touch you or talk to you. If they are still looking at you, or talking to you, or touching you when you finish celebrating them then do an action.

Oftentimes when our children connect parents will ask questions as a way to keep the interaction going. Here in The Son-Rise Program we find that a question may shut the interaction down, we suggest that instead YOU do some fun and compelling action that may be entertaining or interesting for your child. This way your child has something to go towards that does not require them to work.

What actions could you take?

• You could do a silly dance.
• You could play an instrument, like the harmonica.
• You could start to draw a funny picture
• You could throw a ball in the air and try to catch it on your foot.
• You could start to jump on the trampoline.
• You could start to sing a song.
• Blow a bubble.
• Tell a story.

It does not matter what it is, it matters that you start to do something that makes you interesting to your child. Something that may invite them to stay a little longer with you, to keep on looking at you, talking to you. The idea is not to ask them to do anything right at the beginning, but to show them that you have something fun to offer.

                            Question Less Act More.

 Enjoy your children!

With love Kate

Joining!

FROM BECKY: The heart and soul of the Son-Rise Program is joining our children in their world so that we can create a relationship and a loving, accepting rapport with our child which is the main challenge of a child with Autism.

I have spent hours upon hours upon hours joining children in their repetitious and exclusive activities in The Son-Rise Program playroom. Some of my favourite moments with our special children has been while joining them in their isms.

Here are some thoughts to have and actions to take when joining your child which will help the experience become more meaningful to you and your child.

1) This is the best way to show my child how much I love them and want to connect with them when they are not taking the steps to connect with me on their part.

2) Experiment with giving your child distance as you join them. We have experienced that the further you are away from some children, the more they relax and are able to take you in.

3) What can I find to love about this ism? Notice the visual experience you have as you join, all the little details of what your child is doing and find something that is enjoyable about the experience for yourself.

4) The more I join now, the more time my child will be able to rest and get ready for a more connected interaction later.

5) Create your own space in the room. If your child is circuiting around a table or lining up objects, instead of following your child around the same table or using their objects, get another piece of furniture that can act as your own table to walk around and grab some of your own objects from the shelf to line up that won't be infringing on your child's space and items.

6) My child is doing something useful for them self as they ism. They are taking care of them self by regulating their sensory processing system, or creating a sense of control and predictability for them self.

7) Have fun! Interaction is not the only time to demonstrate the 3 E's. Add a little animation to what you are doing, allow yourself to smile or giggle and have a sparkle in your eye as you do what your child does.

8) The more I join, the more I learn! The longer I join and the deeper I allow myself to sink into this experience, the more I will find out about why my child does this and what their motivations and interests are. This will help me become closer to my child and gain more knowledge about how to help them.

9) Relax and enjoy, be easy and controllable. If my child takes the things I'm joining with, celebrate him and get some different items. If they tell me "Be quiet", be quick to respond and go to a whisper. Don't stare at your child, waiting for them to connect with you, relax into the activity and be aware of any green lights they give you within your peripheral vision.

10) Keep your eye on the prize. If your main intention in being with your child is to create a relationship with them, then whether they are exclusive or interactive, you will always be doing this. You are reaching out to them and inspiring them to reach out to you. You are also working as a team when you join. You may join for an hour and then the next person in the playroom with your child has an hour of interaction. It's ALL good. This is a team effort!

Please feel free to add any other thoughts or actions that support you as you join your own child.

Enjoy!

From Bears: Autism is Curable!

Autism is curable. Autism is curable. Autism is curable. I always wonder why some people get indigestion when we say what we know. Rather than believe in what can't be done, we can choose to believe in what can be done. Nay-sayers never change the world. The past doesn't predict the future unless you believe in the past. Autism doesn't have to be a life sentence. The Son-Rise Program for Autism. Love, Bears

Games Games Games!

Good Morning.

Today The Autism Treatment Center of America brings you building ideas you can use with your children on the autism spectrum. Take your suitcase into your playroom and entertain, dazzle, and delight your children.

Games to inspire eye contact, conversation skills and interactive attention span .
Click on the video below: